“If you are in business, you are probably saying to yourself right now: “The title of this is ridiculous! I have been running my business for 5, 10, 20 years; and I certainly know the answers if anybody does. The idea of anybody trying to tell me how I can eliminate 50% of my business worries – it’s absurd!” – Dale Carnegie.
Fair enough. However, to be frank, there’s already an array of techniques out there such as the 80/20 rule, which is basically finding out what’s 80% of your unhappiness and can you get rid of it – that you can use.
Tim Ferris said in his book that there was one particular client he had that was always nagging, bitching, complaining, and gave him an earful on a daily basis. Since the client wasn’t really making him any money, he broke it down and gave him an ultimatum. It wasn’t what the client wanted to hear, but what he needed to hear.
I’ve done this with a many of my colleagues over the last 8 years of my life working in three different countries. Some of them backed away after I blew up, some of them try sabotaging the workplace and turned other colleagues against me, and others unwittingly quit.
“Positive friends versus time-consuming friends: Who is helping versus hurting you, and how do you increase your time with the former while decreasing or eliminating your time with the latter?
Who is causing me stress disproportionate to the time I spend with them? What will happen if I simply stop interacting with these people? Fear-setting helps here.
When do I feel starved for time? What commitments, thoughts, and people can I eliminate to fix this problem?” – Tim Ferris
This helped me a lot. Now, I basically initiate conversations at the workplace because I know 90% of the conversations will bring me grief. (LOL)
Going back into Dale Carnegie now…..
There was a man named Leon Shimkin, a general manager for Rockefeller decades ago. He had troubling times at work because he would hold conferences, discussing problems all day with no end line. The arguing and tension would go around the room for hours and when night came, he would be utterly exhausted because of the ordeal.
Well, after fifteen years of getting nothing accomplished at conferences, he came across this specific technique that would change those troubling associates and conferences to something much more effective.
- What’s the problem?
- I recall reading in Jack Canfield’s book a very important part of a principle called “Heart talk.” Sitting in a circle, you would be given one piece of paper, sign, or object that you would pass around the room. The object would be NOT to comment on what others say, but to state what has happened on your end. No one can interrupt the speaker, either. This could be very effective for the masses out there.
2. What is the cause of the problem?
- Always go to the root of the problem. There was a saying a long time ago that I half remember now in terms of taking off the animal’s head because it can’t return after. I’ve worked with so many colleagues since being here in Thailand who were parasites. They had insidious agendas and they were full of question marks (about their past life). This type of workplace madness (my next blog) is what you do not want to be around. Get rid of the problem.
3. What are the possible solutions of the problem?
- In the workplace, it’s better to just part ways. If you have someone who rants about how bad a country is day in and day out, you can’t change that specific individual. The parting of ways is best. However, if it’s a problem that can become undone by a shift in the awareness, do that before. If it’s an individual who constantly bitches about the world, stay the hell away from them.
4. What solution do you suggest?
- In order to answer these questions, you’re going to have to get all the facts and think your problems through.