How To Write A Letter To Win Someone

After reading extensively through this chapter of Dale Carnegie’s book, I realized that this particular area can be of immaculate service to those who follow my blog, and those who are here for the first time.

In relevance to my last blog, showing interest in other people is extremely important in terms of ethics.  So many of us have a tendency of focusing on our wants versus everyone else’s wants.  For example, when you’re providing service as a salesman, you never want to state the price and sale the product itself, instead….figure out a way how it could be of great service to the fellow samaritan.

With that being said, let’s get into a letter that was written in Dale Carnegie’s book.  The first letter is not the best, so we will revamp it and make it so that the reader will feel that they’re wanted by the sender.

The Letter

“The operations at our outbound-rail-receiving station are handicapped because a material percentage of the total business is delivered us in the late afternoon. This condition results in congestion, overtime on the part of our forces, delays to trucks, and in some cases delays to freight. On November 10, we received from your company a lot of 510 pieces, which reached here at 4:20 P.M.

We solicit your cooperation toward overcoming the undesirable effects arising from late receipt of freight. May we ask that, on days on which you ship the volume which was received on the above date, effort be made either to get the truck here earlier or to deliver us part of the freight during the morning?

The advantage that would accrue to you under such an arrangement would be that of more expeditious discharge of your trucks and the assurance that your business would go forward on the date of its receipt.


Very truly yours,

J——B——, Sup”

Excerpt From: Dale Carnegie. “How to Win Friends & Influence People.” iBooks.

It wasn’t until the end of the letter that the reader would be interested.  A lot of people are predisposed to pointing out the problems in the beginning, rather than the solutions.  Let’s see if there’s a way to look at it from a different angle, as Henry Ford has once said.

Your company has been one of our good customers for fourteen years. Naturally, we are very grateful for your patronage and are eager to give you the speedy, efficient service you deserve. However, we regret to say that it isn’t possible for us to do that when your trucks bring us a large shipment late in the afternoon, as they did on November 10. Why? Because many other customers make late afternoon deliveries also. Naturally, that causes congestion. That means your trucks are held up unavoidably at the pier and sometimes even your freight is delayed.

That’s bad, but it can be avoided. If you make your deliveries at the pier in the morning when possible, your trucks will be able to keep moving, your freight will get immediate attention, and our workers will get home early at night to enjoy a dinner of the delicious macaroni and noodles that you manufacture.

Regardless of when your shipments arrive, we shall always cheerfully do all in our power to serve you promptly.

You are busy. Please don’t trouble to answer this note.


Yours truly,
J——B——, Supt. ”

You see…that’s much better.

Let’s see if I ran relate to all of you.  There was a lady by the name of Barbara who was relocating from New York, to Phoenix, Arizona.  She, using the methods above, wrote a letter to 12 different banks (the work she was involved in) for a possible position.  This is what she wrote….

Dear Sir:

My ten years of bank experience should be of interest to a rapidly growing bank like yours.

In various capacities in bank operations with the Bankers Trust Company in New York, leading to my present assignment as Branch Manager, I have acquired skills in all phases of banking including depositor relations, credits, loans and administration.

I will be relocating to Phoenix in May and I am sure I can contribute to your growth and profit. I will be in Phoenix the week of April 3 and would appreciate the opportunity to show you how I can help your bank meet its goals.


Barbara L. Anderson

Now that’s sufficient enough.  Can you imagine how many responses she got? 11 out of the 12.  Why? The introductory paragraph of the letter was about them, not her.

Thousands of people are pounding away at pavements because they’re discourage.  This happens because they’re simply focusing on their wants.  Their money.  Themselves.  It’s never about the other people…and that’s why 90% of entrepreneurs fell in the first few years.

Start developing this skill and just put it to the test.  Your life will begin to change.


Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.