Lewis Howes: Sexual Mask – Part III

In recent months I came across a person named “Zern.”  Zern caught me off completely with her amount of spoken English fluency.  The first time we met was a spaghetti dinner at my condominium and it was a remarkable time.  A terrible movie, but a good time.  To be honest, I thought that would be the last time I saw her because I “know how it goes” with women here.  Not only was I wrong, she drove more than 40km to come see me in the evening to talk things over.  It was very bumps at the beginning, but I was like that child.  That child in school who constantly thought about someone he liked.  I felt young again.  That inner child came out of me – but somewhere along the line the complaints came.  Not just any complain, but a herd of them.  The last message I received from her was, “yeah, I think you’re too independent.”  She went off into the Khao San road (notorious nightlife area in Bangkok) that evening and it was the last message I ever got from her.

Did I want to settle down? Was I too independent? Who wants to settle? I mean after about four weeks, I was already a bit…”bored.” Am I the most handsome man in the world through the eyes of Thai standards? HELL NO! I’m just a “black-African Nigerian scammer through mosts eyes” (LOL), but I’m also the guy who can probably swipe right on tinder 100 times in Thailand and get 3 matches (and America).  However, if I swipe 100 times in Indonesia, Kazakhstan and a few other countries, I get 7 out of 10 matches.

Why am I even on Tinder? Where am I even going with this? Well, I’m a living proof, I believe, that you don’t have to follow your libido.  I use these social media apps to actually meet some likeminded people – often rare.  However, I know teachers who are on 5-10 websites searching for new “meat” as they say.

Lewis Howes mentioned in his book that once he started getting more “notoriety,” women started paying more attention.  I honestly love living in my shoes everyday.  It doesn’t matter about the followers, podcast listeners, soon-to-be-book, tedx….I believe that I will walk through the airport and still have people walk right past me – exactly how I like it.

“The bird wasn’t exhausted because it never stopped flying from nest to nest; it was exhausted because it spent all its energy staying aloft while it debated which direction to fly. Was this really what freedom is supposed to feel like?”

Excerpt From: Lewis Howes. “The Mask of Masculinity.” iBooks.

“I cheated on Ingrid, who’s my wife now, and I felt horrible. I thought I was a good guy. I really loved her, I wanted to be with her, and I cheated on her, and I just couldn’t understand why would I do that to someone? Why would I hurt somebody like that who loves me? Why would I break her heart? Why would I ruin my future? And why would I act outside my ethics system and outside my morals and just for sex that wasn’t even that good anyway?” – Neil Strauss

BOOM.  I bet men all over the world are asking themselves this….”why?”  I mean, I absolutely love being single, and not because I have the freedom, but because I can come home and have 4 hours of power: podcasts, writing blogs, writing my book, instant messaging people on instagram, etc,.

Lots of men also love being single just to wave a piece of meat in any direction they will.  Fair enough.  But why commit the mistake while in a relationship?

“If you watch porn these days, it is disproportionately aggressive. It’s all about dominating women, so much of it is about humiliation. It’s not just the amount of sex. Guys feel more like a man if they’re dominating and aggressive in bed. Instead of the definition of a man being about making her feel good in bed, it’s all about showing physical dominance over her. Because that is so pervasive in porn, I think men have a warped sense of reality when it comes to masculinity in the bedroom. I dread to think about kids who are like 9 or 10 who have never kissed a girl and that is their first data point with sex, that that’s what it looks like. It’s creating some messed-up men.” – Matthew Hussey

I think this should be ringing a bell for a lot of men out there.  No nationalities needed, but I’ve seen a fair share of people from one particular country on videos I shouldn’t have been watching in the past where they’re just unbelievably aggressive.  YIKES!

“And it isn’t just fiction either. We perpetuate these stereotypes and myths in real life. Men who find and hook up with women are players, studs, ballers. Meanwhile, what’s our take on a guy who is committed? He’s tied down. He’s settled. He’s off the market. He goes out with his buddies only when his wife gives him permission. He has a “dad bod.” His sex life is a wasteland. And don’t get me started with how unfair the labels and double standards are with women. What we celebrate in single guys, we call being a slut in a woman. When a guy marries a rich woman, it doesn’t mean anything; but if a woman does it, she risks being called a gold digger. A woman who is clear about what she wants and expects in a relationship is a nag or a bitch.” – Lewis Howes

But it’s all nonsense, huh?



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