Darren Hardy: Associations – Who’s Influencing You?

Who do you spend the most time with?

Honestly, ask yourself this question because within it lies the answer to all your sorrows.  Are you constantly around negative people? Do I have to bring this up AGAIN? You are who your closest five friends are.  Just do me a favor and drop one loser friend out of your life.  Ok, if you don’t want to expunge the human being because he’s been your friend all your life, just reduce the amount of time you talk to him/her for.  Go form speaking three times a day to him/her – to two times a day.  It will make a difference.

When I first moved to Bangkok, I had no idea that I developed a hell of an intuition for the 11 months I was in Las Vegas (after my Australia visa finished).  What happened was I had a friend.  This friend had a “bad” job….not even sure how I met her (she was a soapy massage girl).  When I met her for the second time ever, I saw the amount of bad energy she had.  The feeling of pain (agony), discontent, anger, and depression that was around her was unbearable.  I recall looking into her eyes at one point and I immediately looked away.  When I left to my main province in job in southeast Thailand, I never spoke to her again.

Later, I had a couple friends by the name of Mook and Ploy who were very nice individuals.  I realized then that I should probably be around nice people; rather than soapy massage girls (comical – I know).

Do you spend time around people who want more in life, or people who are considered “losers?”

Who are the people you most admire?

Ahhhh….the sound of Les Brown’s voice is amazing.  Many of you reading this blog probably admire your parents, your best friends, even the dog down the road.  By all means…we have different means of inspiration, but my parent (my mother…I don’t consider Willie my parent) fueled my inspiration in 2006 when she gave me all rights to my life.  Magnificent human being.  After that, I found my inspiration on YouTube in 2015 – the last year I constantly victimized myself.   Lisa Nichols, Les Brown, Tony Robbins, Tim Ferris, Napoleon Hill, Dale Carnegie, and other books and videos disrupted my biochemistry and I began to believe in myself again – oh, most notably – Jack Canfield.

How about you? Do you admire sports stars? Or, do you admire historical figures of the past? 

Are those two groups of people exactly the same? 

They’re all the same in terms of inspiration and what they preach and teach about.

Eventually, over the course of x amount of months, whoever you spend time with most….you begin to eat what they eat, talk what they talk, walk how they walk, dress like they dress, treat people how they treat people, read what they read.  You name it…you become it.

Think of a friend who orders the greasy food or cocktails before dinner (although I love me some oven-baked chicken and long islands from time-to-time), and if you hang out with them enough, you’ll know that it’s a very ugly habit.  Just recently I met a girl who was saying, “I hate working out. It’s boring. It’s not fun.  I’m lazy…and I like being fat.”  Stay around someone like that long enough and you’ll become that person.  Meanwhile, your other friends order healthy food and talk about the inspiring books they’re reading and their ambitions in their businesses, and you begin to assimilate their behaviors and habits. You read and talk about what they talk about, you see the movies they’re excited about, and you go to the places they recommend.

This was one of the biggest deciding factors in leaving America permanently.  I knew if I had stuck around in my families sorrows, I too, would become part of their sorrows.  The 11 months from June 2012 – May 2013 were some of the most difficult months of my life.  The constant nagging, not having enough money comments, complaining about one’s boyfriend, bad-mouthing people from work….it wore me out.  Luckily, I purchased a pair of Bose Headphones, which was one of the smartest purchases I’ve ever made in my life, in Australia earlier in 2012.  Nonetheless, you can’t live a positive life around negative people.

So, ask yourself now: “what’s the combined average income, health, and attitudes of the people you spend the most time with?”

When I was in Australia last year, my ex-friend (yeah, my ex-friend) had become a nurse.  Her income was much more than mine, but it inspired me.  My best friend in New York makes more than me.  That also inspires me.  Those are, or were my closest friends.  I don’t have to worry about this because I’m around my students the majority of the time.  So after a long work day, I don’t go hang out with friends because I have to prepare everything for the next day.

However, you….the reader….you need to write down the names of those five people. Write down the main characteristics.  Look at where they’re going in life, the relationships they have with other people.  Is that list ok for you. Are you heading in the right direction?

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