Darren Hardy: Disassociations, Limited Associations & Expanded Associations

I had to weed out some people in my life who aren’t trying to cultivate the right mindset.  I can’t be around complainers.  This is why I ended up getting scrutinized at work because I was no longer part of the “ain’t it awful” club, which is the older Gen X and B men who literally sit in a circle and complain about the country’s woes.

This was the beginning.  When I started removing the garbage from my life, I had so much more time to focus on the good.  Remember the conversation I had on my podcast when I told you about a particular individual (the snake who tried getting me fired 2 years ago)?  Yeah, finished work at 5pm and left with him back to the other side of town.  The amount of bitching he did for the ensuing 45 minutes made me feel so horrible about life, yet he had a girlfriend was was less than half his age and he was also anglo.  I needed to draw the line once and for all, and when I did just that, everyone began ignoring me.  Shit.  Happens.

Another individual I have to mention is the “apparent best friend” who decided to get into a relationship before I bolted to America.  This individual got so angry at me that she stopped talking to me.  This was mid-October – and later – I had yet another one of those difficult Thailand moments that she wasn’t there to support me and guide me through because of her ego.

I told myself, “it was first October 2014 when she rarely spoke to me.  Now it’s October of 2017? She has failed to come through again? She’s off the list.”

I cancelled my ticket based off instinct.  Days later I got removed from a terrible company and threatened by someone who has never liked me to this date.  Did she shove her personal wants aside to encourage me through the dark clouds? Absolutely not.

I’m quick to remove people.  If I feel someone no longer serves a purpose or becomes very bitchy, I’m done.  You need to also put up those boundaries.

Limited Associations

Gary Vee spoke about this recently.  If it’s very difficult to just remove someone in the entire form, just reduce the amount of time you spend with them.

You have your three minute, three hour, three day, and vacation type of people.

It’s hard for me to go into the teachers room with teachers in there because those are three-second beings (lol).  Look at the three minute people in your life.  When does the conversation go completely south? Have you ever been on a vacation with someone and you wanted to kill them by it’s end? Because they’re not a vacation type of person!

Expanded Associations

Reach out to the people who have or influence you in different ways.  A great example of this would be investor/influencer that I workout with.  She’s an amazing person.  Yes, she’s Thai — and her husband is — too.  However, being around them just makes me so incredibly happy and inspired.  Seeing her successful FB photos of her being in Bali inspires me like crazy.  Another girl, by the name of Praew, has some of the highest energy I’ve seen in five years living here.  I would love to go out with her to a lounge and talk business.  Look for people who have those “attractive” personal qualities.  Join organizations, businesses, health clubs (such as what I joined to meet the above people) and be around these people who can ultimately be mentors.

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