A lot of people do big things or risky things to get the attention of others. Remember at the beginning I talked about one of my students’ brother who slammed into a pillar at high speeds, intoxicated and ultimately killing himself. He was unrecognizable after it happened. Before he got on his bike, he told everyone that he was safe to drive, although he was completely inebriated. He was going welllll over the speed limit and resulted in him no longer being able to live.
A many of these “van” boys drive at top speeds with spoilers off, trying to get the attention of women on the streets. This gives them that since of invincibility and that’s why Thailand, by percentage, has the highest traffic fatality in the WORLD. These adrenaline junkies are always looking for the next thrill.
So what can you do? What if you stole, or do things that could question the law just to get the attention of women? More importantly, what’s available if you take off the mask?
Ask yourself these questions
Friendships. That invincible mask that Billy had on — I had on, too. I would treat my best friend Andre like crap over the years, and after my run yesterday, he spilled the beans on how I treated them from a “funny” aspect. However, I didn’t look at it as funny. I was embodying anger from when Billy use to treat me like crap, so I wanted to dish out those feelings, too.
Andre is everything to me. The most valuable friendship I have today. When he speaks, I absolutely listen and take thought to it.
I honestly need to stop playing the “black” card, as the Irish teacher told me. I love that he’s in my face about it, because he shows me how much of a magnificent being I can truly become. This is why I love the fact that I am “different.” Just last night I was thinking to myself, “oh man! Look at all of these anglo men in the picture of this company that sent me those jobs three days ago. No wonder I can’t get the job!” Self-doubt. I still have that lingering deep within my bloodlines, and it’s something I need to address immediately.
Can I see the true value in friendships and myself?
Absolutely NOT. Once I’m gone, I’m gone forever.