I remember wanting to motivate a “god sister” of mine to travel the world (on my last day in America back in May of 2013), and she said I was going to die of HIV in Thailand. Typical response from a dead-beat human being who’s 250 lbs over her healthy weight. It was the definition of of jealousy — a word that had ran deep (and still does) in the bloodlines of my “family.” I said some things, went upstairs, turned the water on in the shower, put my headphones on and waiting for them to go. I heard the knocking and screams, “Arsenio, she wants to say bye to you!” I’m sorry, I think she’s said everything for the rest of her life to me. Good riddance!
When it comes to motivating others, you can’t always win. You will take some blows to the face, even from your own family, but you have to become aware and say, “ok, this person doesn’t want help from me. Goodbye.” This also relates to the Rescue 911 that Lisa Nichols talked about. You can’t just have people hop on your shoulder and rescue them. Let them come to you.
Some teachers, townspeople and others don’t want motivation. There are prostitutes here in Thailand that continue to live that dangerous lifestyle….but they don’t want to hear the sex tourist’s motivational pep talks in terms of “you don’t have to work in a bar!”
Don’t be rescue 911!
“For when you know: (a) what the personality traits of the individual are; (b) what his environment is; (c) what motivates him, you then can motivate that individual.”
Excerpt From: Napoleon Hill. “Success Through A Positive Mental Attitude.”
Figuring this out about people who you DO want to motivate, is important. If you try motivating someone who doesn’t want to hear it, it will ultimately backfire on you.
“Do you want to feel enthusiastic?
Then learn the self-motivator: To be enthusiastic act enthusiastic. Now repeat this phrase.
To be enthusiastic act enthusiastic.
Right! What is the key word in the affirmation?
That’s right. Let’s paraphrase the message and thus you will learn the principle and be able to relate and assimilate it into your own life. If you want to be sick, what do you do?
You’re right. If you want to be melancholy, what do you do?
Right again! And if you want to be enthusiastic, what do you do?
To be enthusiastic—act enthusiastic.”
I’ve told people this so many times before. If you want to be depressed, act depressed! If you want to be lonely, feel lonely! It’s all based on the human condition and the mind. The mind doesn’t know what the hell loneliness or depression is, it simply reacts to everything you feel.
“1. Talk loudly! This is particularly necessary if you are emotionally upset, if you are shaking inside when you stand before an audience, if you have “butterflies in your stomach.”
2. Talk rapidly! Your mind functions more quickly when you do. You can read two books with greater understanding in the time you now read one if you concentrate and read with rapidity.
3. Emphasize! Emphasize important words, words that are important to you or your listening audience—a word like you, for example.
4. Hesitate! When you talk rapidly, hesitate where there would be a period, comma, or other punctuation in the written word. Thus you employ the dramatic effect of silence. The mind of the person who is listening catches up with the thoughts you have expressed. Hesitation after a word which you wish to emphasize accentuates the emphasis.
5. Keep a smile in your voice! Thus in talking loudly and rapidly, you eliminate gruffness. You can put a smile in your voice by putting a smile on your face, a smile in your eyes.”
This revolves around speaking, but can also relate to speaking with impeccability. With everyone you come in contact with, you have the ability to sway them into a state of love or chaos — purely predicated on your words.