Coaching Session: Episode 004 – Toxic Family & Not Sure What To Do?

You know, I’ve talked about this on a number of occasions. How to veer and steer clear of negative human beings, even if they’re your family.  This is one of the toughest decisions any human being can make.  Did I think I would ever have to make a decision like this? Not in a million of years.  However, after an almost-fight with my brother in the living room of my home back in 2007 about the “Law of Attraction,” I realized that there was no way I can talk about these types of things with him anymore.  On one occasion, my mother asked if something was true and I said, “how do you think I got to Australia?”

No pun intended, but if I had consulted my family before my trip, I wouldn’t have gone to Australia to begin with.  My brother said angrily, “what the hell you going to Australia for?”

In brief, when I came back from actually LIVING in Australia, my older sister’s face had localized swelling. My mother was complaining about work mates, and my brother had three balls in his back, resulting in surgery.  My family was in a dark abyss and I couldn’t be rescue 911 this time.  I told myself, “it’s either my life, or I will fall into misery for the rest of my life.” That was the action.

I threw my bose headphones over my ears and cancelled out the noise, which brings me to number 1.

Make Positivity In Your Head Loud

It’s easier said than done, and people are often held back on life because memories that they are attached to — memories that are bad and continue recreating a life in the future — also known as having a predictable future.  How can you make it loud? Throw your headphones on, don’t take things seriously and read/listen to Dale Carnegie’s How to Stop Worrying and Start Living. 

If you actually look at your life from your outerself, you will realize that life isn’t too bad.  That’s number one.  Number two, unless someone is physically abusing you, you are in control of how you react to situations.  You’re either positive or negative; reactive or proactive; on offense or defense.  Leading up to my departure (to come here to Thailand), my family and I were LIGHT YEARS apart.  I would stay away from them as much as possible because I would feel the jealousy, animosity, hate, bigotry, you name it.  It was a tenacious force that I couldn’t overcome, but I made a promise to myself that when I leave this native Las Vegas today, I will NEVER return to see them.

On the day of leaving, my mother cried.  I thought they were fabricated because she sure as hell didn’t show any of that the entire year I was there.  When I first went to university, my mother cried from her heart at the airport with my uncle.  When I left this time, it felt as if she was forced to cry to show her feelings.  Everything I experienced over the year, especially with the amount of anger coming out of my brother, had to be banished forever — and so it was.

Are They Helping You, or Killing You?

Simple question.  Are you growing or dying? If you were to stay around them any longer, would the situations escalate even more? What kind of small steps can you take? Yes, you can try having a heart talk, but if has been perpetuated for years, the conditioning is imbedded into the DNA…..they believe.

Don’t Jump In, Ease In

When I had the ordeal happen with my family, it was a long period of time.  It wasn’t just a huge BANG and everything ended. That could be very daunting for a lot, emotional, and neither party wins.  If you just ease out of the toxicity on a nightly basis and talk to friends who encourage you to become better, this can go a long way.

Listen to “Coaching Session: Episode 004 – Toxic Family & Not Sure What To Do?” on Spreaker.

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