Whether you lose the trust of others through a conscious act of betrayal, poor judgement, an honest mistake, a failure of competence, or a simple misunderstanding, the path to restoration is the same — to increase your personal credibility and behave in ways that inspire trust.
Sometimes the only way to win back is by ACTION. It’s like when you don’t keep an agreement with your spouse, children, or friends in general. If you consistently betray their trust by cancelling on a consistent basis, what will ultimately happen is “daddy always says this but he does something else.”
When that happens, you need to make commitments and agreements to yourself — in MICRO. Sometimes massive steps are just too much and it’s often times the bain of all existence. If you can take out bite-size chunks, you will be able
However, understanding how trust was lost in the first place is an important key to understanding how to apply the Cores and Behaviors in attempting to restore it. Generally speaking, a loss of trust created by a violated of character (Integrity or Intent) is far more difficult to restore than a lost of trust created by a violation of competence (Capabilities or Results). Violations of Integrity are the most difficult of all to restore in all relationships, whether they are personal, family, professional, organizational, or in the marketplace.
Keep in mind that when you talk about restoring trust, you’re talking about changing someone else’s feelings about you and confidence in you. And that’s not something you can control. You can’t force people to trust you. You can’t make them have confidence in you. They may be dealing with other issues in their own lives that make the challenge more difficult for them. Or they may have interpreted a breach of competence on your part as a breach of character, which significantly complicates the issue. The point is that you can only do what you can do. If you’re not able to restore trust in a particular situation or relationship, by strengthening your Cores and making habits of the Behaviors, you will increase your ability to establish or restore trust in other situations and relationships throughout your life.