Restoring Self-Trust & The Thirteen Behaviors

Often, the most difficult trust to restore is trust in ourselves. When we violate a promise we’ve made ourselves, fail to follow through on a goal, or act in ways that go against our deepest values, our self trust can really take a die. And when we have repeated infractions, we often beat ourselves up so thoroughly that we seriously wonder if we can ever have faith in ourselves again.

Restoring self trust gives another dimension — a powerful dimension — to the Cores and Behaviors. Just think of how significantly the 13 behaviors apply in your relationship with yourself:

Talk Straight means to tell it like it is — for good, as well as bad. Don’t be around the bush. Don’t try to justify or rationalize what you’ve done, or tell yourself compelling stories. Instead, tell yourself what you should have done and what you need to do to improve. BUt don’t tell yourself lies such as: I’m worthless. I’ve blown it, and I can never make things right. It’s no use to even try. tell yourself the trust: even if it takes divine help, you can make things better if you want to and if you really try.

Demonstrate Respect for Yourself. Don’t beat yourself up over what you perceive as weaknesses or mistakes. Treat yourself with as much love as you would anyone else. Don’t expect more of yourself than you would expect of any other human being in your situation.

Create Transparency in your own life. Be open and honest with yourself about your motives and decisions. Don’t try to rationalize or justify. Don’t try to hide weaknesses or faults; face them and deal with them directly. Be exactly what you are today — and work on being a little better tomorrow.

Right Wrongs you’ve done to yourself. Forgive yourself (which is often the most difficult forgiveness of all). Free yourself so that you can work on developing self trust and confidence again.

Show Loyalty to yourself. Don’t talk negative about yourself or put yourself down — in self-talk or in talking with others.

Deliver Results in your life in the things that you feel are important — whether anyone else considers them important or not. Set goals and make them happen.

Get Better. Set aside time in your life to constantly improve your capabilities. Enjoy the increase in self trust and confidence that comes from developing skills and using your unique talents and capacities, and also from rising to meet challenges that require you to develop new abilities or gain new knowledge.

Confront reality. Don’t live in denial or keep your head in the sand. Don’t give in to pessimism and despair. Face what needs to be faced and move on with courage and hope.

Clarify expectations. be clear about what you expect of yourself. Don’t let others talk you out of meeting your own expectations and don’t let the expectations of others govern your decisions and your life.

Practice Accountability. When you receive insight into something you feel you should do, write it down and hold yourself accountable to do it. Don’t let the expectations of others take priority over your responsibility to follow your own inspiration.

Listen First to your own conscience, to your own inner voice. Don’t let the opinions of others persuade you to violate the things you feel deep inside you should or should not do.

Keep Commitments to yourself. Make commitments to yourself carefully, and treat them with the same respect you feel you should treat commitments to others.

Extend Trust to yourself. Trust your instincts and your intuition. Trust your judgement. trust your ability to receive guidance for your own live. Trust that when your own heart is right, the universe will provide and things will work together for your good.

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