Lewis Howes: Material Mask – Part III

“Whatever success you’re after, keep in mind that someone has already had it, hated it, and deluded themselves into thinking that just a little more would solve their problems.” – Ryan Holiday

Excerpt From: Lewis Howes. “The Mask of Masculinity.” iBooks.

It makes you think a lot about materialistic things in general, doesn’t it? I’m completely fine making a solid 3k-5k a month.  All I really care about is traveling, making a difference, and once I start making over that amount, I’ll develop a non-profit organization and build schools in impoverished countries.  That’s my life assignment.

Some people’s life assignment revolves around getting a Bugati.  Look at Christian Guzman, for instance.  Back around August of 2016 before my breakthrough, I would watch his videos to try to get a burst of inspiration.  Instead, it was about houses, money, and cars.  A lot of followers, again in the comment section, would hurl rhetoric at him in terms of lavishing himself in luxury.  The point I’m trying to make is during the video, I felt his energy.  And in saying that, his energy was so off.  He had such a feeling of discontent with the entire process.  He did not seem happy whatsoever.  Same thing goes with another YouTuber (fitness) named Chris Jones.  I feel that he’s another person who doesn’t seemed entirely fulfilled, although he has a gorgeous house, significant other, and car.  This is what scares me.

“I think one of the big reasons why men, specifically, chase money and fame is because they were turned away earlier from those feelings of acceptance and attachment, and they found some security in this myth that being rich, that having Tai’s house, will finally make them feel like men.” – Lewis Howes

Luckily, I’ve never been one of those men.  However, I feel like a particular clothing store, which I would get my clothes tailored from, was pushing me to the bring of having a Material Mask.  It being an Indian based store in BKK, they’re very pushy.  They would constantly push me to buy and invest more after picking up some.  Thankfully, the last time I went there (back in April), the manager ripped me off completely and told me to pick up 300$ worth of clothing (which would be only one suit and a pair of slacks – compared to five shirts, three slacks and a blazer just a year before) by the following week.  I left and said, “is this it? Is the trust broken?” And if I had gone back to pick up everything, I think not only would I have lost all my dignity, but the mask would be officially on.  I messaged another employee expressing discontent; and later on that evening, I went on to block all numbers and never went back since.

Did I need an extra 3-7 suits? Hell no.  I have about 5-7 suits already; plus a couple of blazers, vests, and an assortment of ties and slacks.  However, people will push you to do things you don’t want to do. If you’re not accepting, they become more adamant.

Don’t get me wrong, wearing perfectly tailored clothes gives me such a “swag” that no one else in Bangkok has.  However, it doesn’t give me true fulfillment, and that’s what Teacher Edward told me just a couple years prior.

“Listen, you can have all the clothes you want, Arsenio.  If you don’t know what you’re going to say, all of that won’t mean a damn thing.”

And the last Tai Lopez story is….

“There’s two ways you can consume, as a person making money,” he said to me. “There’s conspicuous consumption and inconspicuous. And conspicuous is what makes you unhappy. So I don’t have any nice watches, okay? And some of my friends are like, ‘You should have a Rolex because if you are successful, you need to show that.’ Well, I don’t really care about watches, never did. So if I bought a watch for myself, it would be what’s called conspicuous, me trying to show off.”

Excerpt From: Lewis Howes. “The Mask of Masculinity.” iBooks.

Wait, but kicking off a video with you getting out of a Lambo or standing in front of a mansion isn’t showing off?

Look, we’re going to do different things with out money.  Entrepreneurs like Gary Vee says reinvest, which is the smartest thing to do.  Other people go to high-end stores and saturate themselves with high quality “materialistic” things.  Other people travel.  However, if you think that’s going to let you into the “cool group” you’re sadly mistaken.

Does anyone know the movie called “richie rich?” Ahhh, as a child, this movie was amazing.  A little boy who was unbelievably rich tried to fit in with the neighborhood kids by playing baseball. They shoved him away constantly because he wasn’t “them.”  Money is not a code, it’s an enabler.

Podcast

Circle of Concern vs. Circle of Influence: Friendship Woes

It’s been a very turbulent year — people (what I would call friends in the past) coming and going.  Some of this could be unbearable for most, but I built up a fortified wall in front of my feelings, telling myself that all of these so-called “friends” are here to fulfill a purpose.  Remember what I said a long time ago: life-time, life-giving, and purposeful relationships.  People are categorized into these three areas.

Best Friends Turned Enemy

I don’t believe it was so much her getting a boyfriend, but me having a life-changing experience happen on the other end just 3 weeks after.  My life went from almost investing and staying in Thailand long-term, to almost booking a trip to Honduras or Costa Rica after a racially implicit event in my workplace and was expunged from teaching at a company.  Yes, if she was my best friend Andre, we would be able to talk it out, make amends, and just move on with our friendship.  With her there was possible miscommunication, but I also saw danger — danger that could’ve bloomed if I had gone to America.  So, I cancelled the trip, and three weeks later my job was on the line.  My hands were incredulously on my head and I was being criticized by an individual who shouldn’t be criticizing anyone, given the circumstances of him being in Thailand.

Almost one month later, new condo, five job opportunities, six projects and so many other things….now I understand WHY I didn’t go to America.

Purposeful Relationship Turned Chaos

I met someone by the name of Zern who I thought had the same energy as I.  I seriously thought that she was me in a completely different form.  However, after two weeks, a nose-dive happened.  The energy between us changed and then the complaints were ON 100% (barely anything coming from my kisser).  This lead to her going out with a friend to one of the most notorious areas in all of Asia where drunk, poor backpackers go to have sex.  That was THE END. 

The Student That Couldn’t Take It

The last episode comes from an individual who I catapulted into the University of Sydney.  After completion of her Masters Degree, she came back (just recently) to Thailand.  Because I’m going through a very pivotal stage in my life, I need her to help me with translations from English-to-Thai.  Granted, I helped her with grammatical structures the past 1.5 years.  She helped me, and then I asked her for a very important favor.  Before I continue, she is a doctor.  Now, let’s get back into this…..I needed assistance taking some luggage and boxes to my new condo.

CRICKETS

After that message, she was gone!

Moral of these stories…..you’re the only person who can be rescue 911.

Podcast

https://www.spreaker.com/user/thearseniobuckshow/circle-of-concern-vs-circle-of-influence

Lewis Howes: Material Mask – Part II: Does Money Kill?

After accumulating so many riches over the course of years, Lewis Howes is still one of those people who drive a 1991 Cadillac. He went on to say that Tai Lopez’ viewpoint on buying luxury cars was interesting to him.  Heck, I believe anyone who buys cars over 100k$ USD is doing it to cover up what they’re lacking, if I haven’t said that already.

“Tai described the dangers of money quite well. He said, “I think that if you’re not careful, money is like a pit bull. A pit bull can save your life or it can turn around and kill you.”

If I can recall a story which Tony Robbins spoke about in his book about the richest man in Germany, Adolf Merkel.  This man was a billionaire back in his day, and after suffering a huge gamble and losing about 25% of his networth, he was absolutely finished with life.  His identity was so attached to money to the point he felt powerless, and in the ensuing days he threw himself off the building, ultimately committing suicide.

Anyone who believes money can kill them is right – based on face-value.  However, if you’re one of those people who look at money from an “enabling” standpoint, you’ll never think money “has you.”  Look at me.  Sure, I’ll be moving across town to a gorgeous condo and kick off 2018 with the most successfully sound bank account I’ve ever possessed.  But does that define who I am? Hell no.  Quite frankly, I can really give a damn about how much I make all year next year.  What I wanted most from one particular place was respect; then I was delivered racism and threats…so I got up and left because I knew there were six projects aching for my services.  Am I doing to purely because the money? ABSOLUTELY NOT! It’s the handshake after another.  Having speaking engagements in possibly Morocco and even in Bangkok (Tedx) is what I do it for.  Will I buy an Audi to look cool and contribute to the traffic congested roads in Thailand? Ludicrous!

“I suppose that’s why a lot of guys either love or hate Tai Lopez. Some see him as a hero. They want to drive nice cars. They want to be surrounded by models in their enormous mansions. They want to be able to hang out with celebrities who come over to their house. They want to be—or appear to be—the opposite of the invisible, ashamed, anonymous person they might feel themselves to be. Other guys see him as a fraud or a liar. They are convinced he’s making it all up and that he doesn’t actually have any money. They obsessively produce videos that question whether Tai rents his exotic cars or if his house is really his. If I had to guess why those doubters are so obsessed, it’s because, if Tai’s story is true, then deep down, they don’t think they would be able to do the same things Tai has done. And that kind of self-doubt, especially to a man raised in our current culture, is too crippling not to project outward onto others.”

Excerpt From: Lewis Howes. “The Mask of Masculinity.” iBooks.

There are a number of videos, Twitter accounts, and Facebook accounts depicting Tai Lopez.  Tom Bilyeu had him on Impact Theory recently, and the majority of his fans swarmed with positive comments.  On the other hand, those same people who feel that Tai is better than them began spewing rhetoric at everyone and everything about Tai.  Personally, I have no idea who Tai’s followers are, but regardless of what aisle people may be on, you do have to realize that Tai has that version of a material mask on.

I love how Lewis Howes put it.  He said, “listen to Tai is to watch his YouTube videos. And to listen to his insight is to watch him dispense it from the captain’s chair of a private jet surrounded by models in bandage dresses. Or from backstage at a concert. Or poolside at a private villa. Or in his giant Beverly Hills mansion. This extra bit of detail is like theater or a costume, and without it, it’s almost like he thinks his ideas will have less value. Or worse, they won’t matter.”

Like Lewis Howes said, all that materialism invalidates the quality of a person’s idea.

Podcast

Lewis Howes: The Material Mask & Tai Lopez Excerpt

YIKES! I mean, I can write probably a book on what Americans deem to be happiness – just go to Beverly Hills and see yourself! Yes, I took shot at Beverly Hills, although I stay there with an ex-boss of mine and his wife for a day this past April.  The Material Mask – the most highly sought after mask on the face of the planet.

From Instagrammer influencers posing with six-figure cars, to people flaunting their riches on yachts.  I find it very laughable because deep down inside those individuals are insecurities far beyond what “normal” people have.

For example, the YouTube guru who took the world by storm over a two-year period, Tai Lopez, is deemed as a “scam” artist.  Some people say that he packaged his own course from Jack Canfield’s ‘Success Principles.”  Others dissected his videos to the molecular level when they realized that some of the people he would be in the video with, at the time, weren’t even listening to him.  Collection of books in the garage; house “rented” out, women wearing 2-piece bikinis and so much more.  Nonetheless, this man amassed a fortune behind a very ambiguous past and everyone to this date is still unaware of his age.

Get this, regardless of what you might or might not like about him, he was one of those people who didn’t have that type of money when he was younger.  So, when he got the money, he lavished himself in it and had to show everyone.  His Tedx, called the ‘Good Life,’ was a bit laughed, in my opinion.  This coming from a public speaker – but this human being by the name of Tai Lopez has still been able to make millions of dollars.  Dollars that he must show to the rest of the world to make them feel inferior.

Podcast

https://www.spreaker.com/user/thearseniobuckshow/lewis-howes-material-mask-tai-lopez-intr

Darren Hardy’s: Habit & Willpower

What is habit? Set of behaviors compounded over time.  All of us have habits stapled into our life that we’re not even aware of.  Sure, let’s point out the disgustingly destructive habits such as excessive drinking and smoking.  However, I can talk about other habits such as retweeting or getting in tweet wars with anonymous users who are online to troll others.  These are called “bad” habits.

Other habits we have are of course taking a shower (most of humanity, but not all), brushing our teeth, combing our hair, eating breakfast, etc.  This is all part of the program.

When we get rid of bad habits, what enables us to slide back into the same ol’ destructive habits? The slightest bit of uncomfortability.  A student of mine was talking about how he literally told a teacher, “I don’t want to learn from the book. I can read it at home. I want to speak.”  That’s EXACTLY what I’ve taught him for so long! Books can be read at home, but what can teachers give more? Nothing.  Most teachers mask themselves behind a book but they don’t know how to “teach” in general.  So, my student unwittingly pushed this particular teacher WAY out of his comfort zone – only for him later to say “oh, your student was a bit naughty.”  Oh, he was naughty because he forced you out of your comfort zone, ey?

I could be getting a little carried away, but teachers have a habit of NOT teaching.

In addition to this is willpower.  I feel this is one of the esoteric or metaphysical terms that athletes have created to “mask” another athlete as being “alpha.”  Willpower could be something that most people have who do Spartan Agoge’s, sure; but it’s definitely failed you and billions of others on this planet, too.  Let me give you an example.

You’ve tried willpower before and it’s failed you. You’ve set resolutions and you’ve let them go. You thought you were going to lose all that weight last time. You thought you’d make all those sales calls last year. Let’s “stop the insanity” and do something different so you can get different and better results.

Ring a bell?

Time to dive in!

Podcast #1

https://www.spreaker.com/user/thearseniobuckshow/darren-hardy-habit

Podcast #2

https://www.spreaker.com/user/thearseniobuckshow/darren-hardy-willpower-no-whypower-yes

 

December Is Here – Rate Your Year!

Let’s see if there has been any progression in your life.  On a scale-1-10, 1 being the worst and ten being the best, I want you to evaluate the areas of your life — just like the Wheel of Life but over the entire year.

The areas: fun and hobbies, personal development, wealth, health, physical environment, romantic relationships, friends and family, career.

For each segment listed above, write down in vivid detail why you gave that particular category the score it has.  Here are mine!

Career – 9.0

BOOM! I’ll have to admit that I had two big separate projects back in 2016, but this year has been far more successful than last because I’ve done it ALL BY MY SELF! Literally.  I’m so proud of myself.  Regardless of what has taken place in the month of “change” (November), this year has been astonishing and next year I’m sure I’ll be maxing out at 10.0.  That’s an absolute given — given the circumstances.

Personal Development – 9.0

This was definitely the year I’ve read the most books in my entire life — and I’m not talking about “school” books, either.  The more I read, the more I applied, and then came the ability to apply everything in situations that tested my self-control.  Books such as Dale Carnegie’s ‘How To Stop Worry & Start Living,’ along with a few others, have changed my life.  Not only my life, but the life of others around the world.

Physical Environment – 5.0

Yes, there were times even at home that I was kept up until 1am because of hooligans and slum-dogs playing rambunctious music to attract prostitutes – literally. That’s no joke.  In a year that was filled with ups-and-downs in the workplace with some teachers getting a hell of a lot more than I; and then filled with threats towards my job because of racism — then was the turning point.  And that turning point is going to be the best one of my life!

Health – 9.0

Spartan Races in Kuala Lumpur and Chon Buri and a Tough Mudder (half) in Mesa, Arizona, USA……this was the best year of my life for races.  This was the best year in terms of body transformation because I look gorgeous when I’m naked (no pun intended), and aside from the few occasional sore throats, I was never really hampered by a severe cold.  BOOM!

Wealth – 9.5

This was the wealthiest year of my life.  Now, if might not sound like it because of what I said in the physical environment section, but let me list the countries I went to.

America

Malaysia

Maldives

Layovers: Singapore, South Korea, Japan.

I was suppose to go to Singapore and stay there for the big Spartan competition next month (which would have catapulted me into the trifecta), but I decided not to.  These were some pretty unbelievable and memorable trips (especially the Maldivian trip – ) and definitely trump the previous year (although Bali was extraordinary and I still miss it to this day).  How was I able to do all of this? Because the money I saved up.

Romantic Relationships – 2

Now, there was promise.  A particular someone came and went.  LOL.

The second one….well, we will see how that turns out.  Ain’t nothing else to report in this section.

Fun & Hobbies – 9

Boat ride, night fishing, turquoise waters, Tough Mudder, Spartan, Hiking, Sedona, meeting wonderful people, 5-star hotels, travel.  Oh, yes, yes, and HELL yes.

Friends & Family – 6

Now, this came and went, too.  It’s hard to put everything into one paragraph about friends and family.  Well, not much of a family to be honest (as per usual), but the amount of people who have come and gone, including a great friend (who I think is still just angry about the entire situation that took place), was nuts.  I’ll speak more about that in the podcast down below!

Podcast

 

 

Wheel of Life – Month of November – The Change Is NOW!

That’s it, people.  After contemplating for so long and figuring out what I should do with the next step of my teaching career, I’m now on the board.  Come and get me, world! That’s right. My physical environment has dropped plummeted to a whopping three out of ten, bringing a big concern and action.

November was a tough, and a very head-scratching month.  Comments, which lead to lies, which lead to ridicule, then threats made me realize how great of a human being I am.  See, when you look at things face-value, you will fail.  You always have to ask yourself “what’s trying to emerge.”  After a dozen offers from Chinese schools, a school in Honduras and a couple others, I’ve been weighing my options.  However, Thailand has came on strong AGAIN with 4-7 massive projects, but it’s all about getting the proper documentation to work legally in the country — that means a visa and work permit.  After taking full-on action, it’s all about patients.

If this is your first time tuning in, I highly suggest you rate the eight categories 1-10 and see if you have balance in your life.  If you don’t have balance, make necessary adjustments to improve the category that you’re neglecting.

  • Personal Development – 8.5
  • Physical Environment – 3
  • Health – 8.5
  • Career – 8.0
  • Wealth – 8.5
  • Fun & Hobbies – 7.0
  • Romantic Relationships – 4.0
  • Family & Friends – 5.0

Podcast

Darren Hardy – Story of Kathleen

“Twelve years ago I had a wonderful assistant, Kathleen. She earned $40,000 a year at the time. She was tasked to manage the registration table situated at the back of the room during one of my lectures on entrepreneurship and wealth building. The next week she came into my office. “I heard you talk about saving 10 percent of everything you earn,” she told me. “That sounds nice, but there is no way I could do that. It’s totally unrealistic!” She proceeded to tell me about all her bills and financial obligations. After she wrote them all out, it was obvious there really wasn’t any money left over at the end of the month. “I need a raise,” she said.

“I’ll do better than that,” I told her. “I’m going to teach you how to become wealthy.” It wasn’t the answer she was looking for, but she agreed.

I taught Kathleen how to track her spending, and she began to carry her notebook. I told her to open a separate savings account with only $33—just 1 percent of her existing monthly income. I then showed her how to live on $33 less the next month—bring in her own lunch just one day a week instead of going downstairs to the deli and ordering a sandwich, chips, and a drink. The next month I had her save only 2 percent ($67). She saved the additional $33 by changing her cable subscription service. The next month we went up to 3 percent. We canceled her subscription to People magazine (it was time to study her own life), and instead of going to Starbucks twice a week, I told Kathleen to buy the Starbucks beans and other fancy fixings and make her own coffee in the office (she grew to like that even better—me too!).

By the end of the year, Kathleen was saving 10 percent of every dollar she earned without noticing a significant impact on her lifestyle. She was amazed! That one discipline also had a ripple effect on many other disciplines in her life. She calculated what she spent on mind-numbing entertainment and began investing that money on personal growth instead. After feeding her mind with several hundred hours of inspirational and instructional content, her creativity started to soar. She brought me several ideas on how we could make and save more money in our organization. She presented me with a plan that she would implement in her spare time, if I promised to reward her with 10 percent of all the money-saving strategies and 15 percent of all the new revenue strategies that proved profitable. By the end of the second year, she was earning more than $100,000 a year—on the same $40,000 base salary. Kathleen eventually started her own independent contract service business that took off. I ran into Kathleen at an airport two years ago. She now earns more than a quarter of a million dollars a year and has saved and created more than $1 million in assets—she’s a millionaire! All starting from the choice to take one small step and start saving $33 a month!”

Excerpt From: Darren Hardy. “The Compound Effect.” iBooks.

See how it works? It’s the little steps.  I’m not telling everyone to save a whopping 20-40% of your salary each month.  I’m not even saying 15%….but saving incremental one’s there and one’s here will add up to the significant amount.  I always take good care of my monthly subscriptions.  I limit myself to going to my favorite Italian restaurant.  I make sure I don’t buy anything completely outlandish if I don’t need it.  All these little things have added up to a savings account whereas if I look at it — I go “DAMNNNNNN!”

Time Is of The Essence – Tony Robbins Video On Compounding

In This video, Tony talks about starting at particular ages, but what it all comes down to is you can start saving little-by-little now and reap the rewards.

Podcast

Napoleon Hill’s Failure – Identifying Your Turning Points — Part 1 of 2

While I do not mean to convey the impression that I believe all of our acts to be controlled by causes beyond our power to direct, yet I strongly urge you to study and correctly interpret those causes which mark the most vital turning-points of your life; the points at which your efforts are diverted – from the old into new channels – in spite of all that you can do.  At least refrain from accepting any defeat as failure until you shall have had time to analyze the final result. – Napoleon Hill

This is one of the funnest things to do in analyzing where you were and where you want to go.  Remember Steve Jobs said, “you can never connect the dots looking forward, only backwards.”  This is imperative and here’s what I came about with my turning points…I’m going to separate this into two podcasts and two blogs so not saturate everyone with so much information.

First Turning-Point: Bad Money In Chanthaburi.

My first job I got only 600$ USD a month, which is about 18,000 baht.  This salary, for any native English speaker, is downright criminal.  I wasn’t at the top of my game, but I was fresh in the world of teaching.  After being ridiculously threatened, berated, constantly scrutinized and talk badly to, receiving despicable looks from the parents because I was color, piss-poor working conditions and a bunch of empty promises – I had to make a massive financial decision.  My savings was plummeting and I was going to go 60 days without pay from October-November.  What did I do? I had to do what was in the best interest of me versus what other people wanted.

Second Turning Point: 10$ To My Name – Made An Oath

After trekking down to the south of Thailand to continue my teaching, I was hit with a financial disaster.  Having agreed to a 1000$ USD amount per month (which puts me in the top 50% of Native-English teachers in Thailand) I didn’t get paid for the month of October.  In saying that, November was going to be a very difficult; if not, the most difficult financial month of my life.  After borrowing money from my department head to last me for the month, I made an oath to myself: “I will never be this broke again.”  Having only 10$ to my name was one of the scariest moments of my entire teaching career here in Thailand.  10$! I had to do two-week visa runs because I didn’t have a visa or work permit; no family willing to transfer me money; no friends around to help me out; NOTHING! After finally getting a lump sum of money, I rejoiced and I never looked back.

Third & Fourth Turning Points Are In The Podcast Down Below.

Ask yourself the question, “have I overcome financial hardships? And when I did, did I improve on my life?”

 

Money Talk – Keeping It Slow & Easy

As I said in my last blog, it’s time to track one habit a week.  This is the beginning, so don’t get bent out-of-shape about it.  Pick a habit that has the greatest control over you, and once you start reaping the rewards of the Compound Effect, you’ll want to introduce this to your friends a family, too.

Let’s say you want to lose weight.  Your goals is to track everything you put in your mouth from dawn until dusk.  Pay attention to your sodium intakes.  Pay attention to how many sweets you consume.  For example, I’m a Gummy Bear Type-Of-Guy – meaning I LOVE to eat my gummy bears.  However, I believe this is going to have a very bad long-term effect, so I decided to track how often I eat them and it’s practically everyday.  Two days ago I said NO! However, yesterday I treated myself to a few bags that was about 30g’s in total, which is well under the 75g the American Heart Association requires not to go over.

If you want to talk about beverages, track those sugary drinks and glasses of wine.  Anything you consume in general MUST be tracked.

Again, writing things down sounds simple, but only when you start it.  That’s why I’m asking that you commit to choosing a category and a start date, now.

I am going to start tracking _____________________ on _____________________. day/month/year

Each day you’ll start with the date at the top of a fresh page, and start keeping track.

What’s going to happen after the ensuing week will shock you.  You’re going to realize how much money, calories and minutes have been escaping you.  Track it for three weeks.  Yes, three weeks.  Why? Some psychologists have said that a habit doesn’t become a HABIT until after three weeks.  If you guys can do this for 21 days, and make it a habit to carry around the small notebook in your back pocket, purse, or in your backpack so you can log in everything, you’ll see a massive difference.

You’ll find yourself asking, “do I really need that back of gummy bears?” This question I asked myself last night, and without any sugar cravings, I walked straight to the entrance of my condo and went right up the elevator.  Day 3 is here!

Podcast