Self-Love Friday | Episode IV | Arsenio Comes First

Wow! This is a BIG self-love Friday. I’m very excited about this one because Mira, life/transformation coach in South Africa, navigated me to establishing this.

There have been so many times that I would curl up and just be a “yes” man. I would hangout with people who I knew I had NO BUSINESS hanging out with. I would invite people over to my place who I didn’t really want to come over. Someone I know would alway say, “I want to see you.”….but now it’s time for Arsenio to give Arsenio the 100% care he deservedly deserves before anyone else comes.

So, in saying that, let’s get into this huge self-love assessment so you can finally starting putting yourself first.

Stephen Covey’s 8th Habit | Season 6 – Episode 15 | The Soul’s Search for Meaning

“Deep within each one of us there is an inner longing to live a life of greatness and contribution—to really matter, to really make a difference. We may doubt ourselves and our ability to do so, but I want you to know of my deep conviction that you can live such a life. You have the potential within you. We all do. It is the birthright of the human family.”

Excerpt From: Stephen R. Covey. “The 8th Habit.”

We have the intuitive nudge. I mean, this was 2009. There were a sequence of events that happened in my life that implicated about 3-5 different people talking about travels to Vietnam, Hong Kong, etc. Of course this came at a massive downturn in the American economy (great financial crisis), but it was a period when I had that nudge. That nudge that said “Arsenio, there’s more to life. More to greatness. More to your ability. More to everything.”

That’s when I took a flight to Australia, and four years later, I completely broke away from my family (in regards to relationships) to go after what was mine in the universe.

“All of us can consciously decide to leave behind a life of mediocrity and to live a life of greatness—at home, at work and in the community. No matter what our circumstances may be, such a decision can be made by every one of us—whether that greatness is manifest by choosing to have a magnificent spirit in facing an incurable disease, by simply making a difference in the life of a child, giving that child a sense of worth and potential, by becoming a change-catalyst inside an organization, or by becoming an initiator of a great cause in society. We all have the power to decide to live a great life, or even simpler, to have not only a good day but a great day. No matter how long we’ve walked life’s pathway to mediocrity, we can always choose to switch paths. Always. It’s never too late. We can find our voice.”

Excerpt From: Stephen R. Covey. “The 8th Habit.” Apple Books.

ONCE YOU MAKE the choice to follow this “road less traveled,” the pathway to finding your own voice is to:

1. Discover Your Voice by coming to understand your true nature—what I call three magnificent birth-gifts (chapter 4) and by developing and using with integrity the intelligence tied to each of the four parts of your nature.
2. Express Your Voice by cultivating the highest manifestations of these human intelligences—vision, discipline, passion and conscience (chapter 5).

Transformation Tuesday – My Mother Abandoned Me — Now What?

A very tough outing with Mira, but also a life-transforming one. Because I feel my mother is somewhat similar to my father, I feel like she has abandoned me, too. My father dropped me off at the doorstep of a house in 1999 and saw it for the last time in 2001. My mother, who hadn’t supported me since 2012, has been AWOL since 2013. Sure, a couple of bullshit Facebook-post likes can tell a huge lie about how supportive she really is. So Mira took me through the segment and I now have figured it all out. But now what?

Topic: Goals for 2021 – Transformation / Life Coaching Certification

Wow, it was like the afternoon and I ended up having such a buzzing feeling all over my body — kind of like neurons firing in so many directions. The level of excitement was climbing and I started podcasting like no other — 4 consecutive ones, at that. What did I end up discovering within these moments? Well, I could’ve been at a 400-500 hertz level of consciousness because what was pouring out of my soul was unreal. In this podcast, I discovered just that….and I also made an oath to myself: “I will travel to South Africa for my transformation coaching program next year and I will also do the life-coaching program with Jay Shetty online.”

Podcast

Stephen Covey’s 8th Habit | Season 6 – Episode 14 | Find Your Voice

“EVERYONE CHOOSES ONE of two roads in life—the old and the young, the rich and the poor, men and women alike. One is the broad, well-traveled road to mediocrity, the other the road to greatness and meaning. The range of possibilities that exists within each of these two destinations is as wide as the diversity of gifts and personalities in the human family. But the contrast between the two destinations is as the night is to the day.”

Excerpt From: Stephen R. Covey. “The 8th Habit.”

Diagram explanation in podcast.

“The path to mediocrity straitjackets human potential. The path to greatness unleashes and realizes human potential. The path to mediocrity is the quick-fix, short-cut approach to life. The path to greatness is a process of sequential growth from the inside out. Travelers on the lower path to mediocrity live out the cultural “software” of ego, indulgence, scarcity, comparison, competitiveness and victimism. Travelers on the upper path to greatness rise above negative cultural influences and choose to become the creative force of their lives. One word expresses the pathway to greatness. Voice. Those on this path find their voice and inspire others to find theirs. The rest never do.”

Excerpt From: Stephen R. Covey. “The 8th Habit.”

Stephen Covey’s 8th Habit | Season 6 – Episode 13 | How to Withstand Cultural Provocations

“Where does a person get such internal strength to swim against the current and to withstand negative cultural provocations, subordinate selfish interests and develop and sustain such vision and determination?

They learn of their true nature and gifts. They use them to develop a vision of great things they want to accomplish. With wisdom they take initiative and cultivate great understanding of the needs and opportunities around them. They meet those needs that match their unique talents, that tap their higher motivations and that make a difference. In short, they find and use their voice. They serve and inspire others. They apply PRINCIPLES that govern growth and prosperity in human beings AND in organizations—principles that draw the highest and best from a “whole person”—body, mind, heart and spirit. Equally significant, they also choose to influence and inspire others to find their voice through these principles as well.”

Excerpt From: Stephen R. Covey. “The 8th Habit.”

This is an excellent example of what I’ve overcome at my last job. I literally ignored the noise; just as I ignored the noise with my family from 2012-2013.  This was a critical moment in my life because I could’ve been sucked into a bloodsucking abyss with no way out – although I felt like I was in it and suffocating as is. However, just like my family and my last full-time job from three years ago, I kept that vision strong and the why powerful enough that nothing could blow it down. My voice was always number one over everyone else, and this is how I was able to stave off the monsters from the outside.

This two-part solution—Find Your Voice and Inspire Others to Find Theirs—is a road map for individuals at ANY level of an organization to maximize their fulfillment and influence, become an irreplaceable contributor,* and inspire their team and the broader organization to do the same. Accordingly, the book is organized into two main sections:

1. Find Your Voice

2. Inspire Others to Find Their Voice”

Stephen Covey’s 8th Habit | Season 6 – Episode 12 | The Solution

“HENRY DAVID THOREAU once wrote, “There are a thousand hacking at the branches of evil to one who is striking at the root.”1 This book is dedicated to striking at the root of the significant problems we face.
We’ve started with the pain; we’ve explored the underlying problem—one that has personal roots and that involves a deeply imbedded paradigm and set of traditions in the workplace. Now let’s set the context for the solution and give an overview of how it will be unfolded in the remainder of the book.”

Excerpt From: Stephen R. Covey. “The 8th Habit.”

Most of the great cultural shifts—ones that have built great organizations that sustain long-term growth, prosperity and contribution to the world—started with the choice of one person. Sometimes that one person was the formal leader—the CEO or president. Very often it started with someone else—a professional, a line manager, someone’s assistant. Regardless of their position, these people first changed themselves from the inside out.

Their character, competence, initiative and positive energy—in short, their moral authority—inspired and lifted others. They possessed an anchored sense of identity, discovered their strengths and talents, and used them to meet needs and produce results. People noticed. They were given more responsibility. They magnified the new responsibility and again produced results. More and more people sat up and noticed. Top people wanted to learn of their ideas—how they accomplished so much. The culture was drawn to their vision and to them.
People like this just don’t get sucked into or pulled down for long by all the negative, demoralizing, insulting forces in the organization. And interestingly, their organizations are no better than most organizations. To some degree, they’re all a mess. These people just realize that they can’t wait for their boss or the organization to change. They become an island of excellence in a sea of mediocrity. And it’s contagious.”

Topic: These People Are Not Friends!

DAMN! Like, forreal? I need to take off my professional hat and go six-shooter on this one. If you come to me, asking for my help, sit on a video call with me for an hour while I try to come up with a master-plan so you can stay your ass in another country or be pushed into quarantine facilities in Thailand — only for you to be so irresponsible, stay out late, and never contact me again? Oh, I’ve had enough of this…I’ve had enough of timey people. Another podcast will debut later on tonight.

STEPHEN COVEY’S 8TH HABIT | SEASON 6 – EPISODE 11 | The Whole-person paradigm

“At the core, there is one simple, overarching reason why so many people remain unsatisfied in their work and why most organizations fail to draw out the greatest talent, ingenuity and creativity of their people and never become truly great, enduring organizations. It stems from an incomplete paradigm of who we are—our fundamental view of human nature.
The fundamental reality is, human beings are not things needing to be motivated and controlled; they are four-dimensional—body, mind, heart and spirit.”

Excerpt From: Stephen R. Covey. “The 8th Habit.” Apple Books.

The explanation of this will be in the podcast, but to reiterate, body, mind, and spirit are the four dimensions that really motivate us as beings.

“So what’s the direct connection between the controlling “thing” (part-person) paradigm that dominates today’s workplace and the inability of managers and organizations to inspire their people to volunteer their highest talents and contributions? The answer is simple. People make choices. Consciously or subconsciously, people decide how much of themselves they will give to their work depending on how they are treated and on their opportunities to use all four parts of their nature. These choices range from rebelling or quitting to creative excitement:”

Excerpt From: Stephen R. Covey. “The 8th Habit.” Apple Books.

“Now consider for a moment which of these six choices listed in figure 2.4—rebel or quit, malicious obedience, willing compliance, cheerful cooperation, heartfelt commitment or creative excitement—you would make under the following five scenarios:
First, you are not treated fairly. That is, there are a lot of politics at play in your organization; there is nepotism; the pay system doesn’t seem fair and just; your own pay does not accurately reflect the level of your contribution. What would your choice be?
Second, let’s say that you are treated fairly in terms of your pay, but you are not treated kindly. That is, you are not respected; your treatment is inconsistent, arbitrary, capricious, perhaps largely dictated by the mood of your boss. What would your choice be?
Third, let’s say that you are paid fairly and treated kindly, but when your opinion is wanted, it is given to you. In other words, your body and heart are valued, but not your mind. What would your choice be?”

“Fourth, now let’s say that you are paid fairly (body), treated kindly (heart), involved creatively (mind), but you are asked to dig a hole and fill it again, or to fill out reports that no one ever sees or uses. In other words, the work is meaningless (spirit). What would your choice be?
Fifth, now let’s say that you are paid fairly, treated kindly, and involved creatively in meaningful work, but that there is a lot of lying and cheating going on with customers and suppliers, including other employees (spirit). What would your choice be?
Now notice we went through all four parts of the whole-person paradigm—body, mind, heart and finally spirit (spirit being divided in two parts—the meaninglessness of the work and the unprincipled way that it was done). The point is, if you neglect any one of the four parts of human nature, you turn a person into a thing, and what do you do with things? You have to control, manage and carrot-and-stick them in order to motivate them.”

Excerpt From: Stephen R. Covey. “The 8th Habit.” Apple Books.

Stephen Covey’s 8TH Habit | Season 6 – Episode 10 | The Power of Paradigm

“These statements underscore one of the most profound learnings of my life: If you want to make minor, incremental changes and improvements, work on practices, behavior or attitude. But if you want to make significant, quantum improvement, work on paradigms. The word paradigm stems from the Greek word paradeigma, originally a scientific term but commonly used today to mean a perception, assumption, theory, frame of reference or lens through which you view the world. It’s like a map of a territory or city. If inaccurate, it will make no difference how hard you try to find your destination or how positively you think—you’ll stay lost. If accurate, then diligence and attitude matter. But not until.”

Excerpt From: Stephen R. Covey. “The 8th Habit.”

“That’s the power of an accurate paradigm. It explains, and then it guides. But the problem is that paradigms, like traditions, die hard. Flawed paradigms go on for centuries after a better one is discovered. For instance, though history books talk about George Washington dying of a throat infection, he probably died of bloodletting. The throat infection was the symptom of something else. Since the paradigm was that the bad stuff was in the blood, they took from him several pints of blood in a twenty-four-hour period. You and I are counseled not to give more than one pint every two months if we’re well.
The new Knowledge Worker Age is based on a new paradigm, one entirely different than the thing paradigm of the Industrial Age. Let’s call it the Whole-Person Paradigm.”

Excerpt From: Stephen R. Covey. “The 8th Habit.”