This past week was yet another character building week for me. After conversations erupted whereas people did not see eye-to-eye with me, I found out my true self-worth and went on a journey of asking questions. Seeing how much value I can bring to other peoples’ lives….and boy, did I find some great answers.
Seeing how one could be so empathic, compassionate, and in support of my career plan, I knew I was, and always have been in good hands.
On top of that, I got four smiles (yes, I counted them) from just passerbys throughout the week. That’s a record total for living here in Thailand. One could say, “wow, that’s bad.” In my case, it’s astronomically amazing. Let’s see how many I can collect this week.
Every Monday morning on my podcast I have a “Ramble of Positivity” because I feel I can emanate and radiate with love…by sharing my story and having others do the same thing, too. There’s always time to be grateful every morning. There’s always time to write down your grateful list or even go for a walk through nature – counting your blessings. What are you grateful for this morning?
“It’s easy to be negative and unmotivated, but it takes some work to be positive and motivated.” – Donna Cardiollo
It’s difficult to maintain a positive focus on life when there’s so much going on around us. I know. However, successful people find a way to do so by staying focused on their past success rather than their past failures. Taking action steps on obtaining their daily, weekly, monthly and quarterly goals. Making life excited in general by creating bonds and relationships by being spontaneous. Just being constantly proaction in the pursuit of all objectives can make a boring long working day exciting.
First 45 Minutes Of The Day = The Most Important
So, remember on my last blog entry I talked about reviewing your successes for the day, reviewing the goals, focusing on the successful future, and making specific goals to accomplish the next day.
Some of you are wondering why at the end of the day? Well, whatever you ready, see, listen to, talk about and experience in the last 45 minutes of the day has a huge influence on your sleep and your next day. A good example is looking at dreams. Have you ever watched a video, talked to or about someone (positive negative way), or did something that inflicted any type of emotion – leading to that specific thing showing up in your dream? Have you ever went to bed pissed off and woke up with the same feelings you had the night before?
During the night, your unconscious mind replays and processes this late-night input up to six times more often than anything else you experienced during the day. This is why cramming for school exams late at night can work and why watching a scary movie before bed gives you nightmares.
This is why even reading good bedtime stories is so important for children. Those repeated messages, lessons and everything becomes the fabric of a child’s consciousness.
Think how much better it would be to read an inspirational autobiography or a self-improvement book before going to sleep. How about watching a video about Fiji travel before sleep? Meditating into sleep using a guided meditation? The last 45 minutes of the day are the most important.
As I turned right heading out of the elevator during my lunch break, I wanted to check the geolocation of my podcast listeners, which always throws me off seeing who tunes in.
Topped at number 3 on the chart, Ulaanbaatar, Mongolia.
You’ve got to be kidding me!
I ran into my class where one of my students were preparing for an IELTS examination – completely elated and ecstatic beyond comprehension….SHOUTING AWAY!
This country, which has always been an infatuation within me, is now listening to my podcast. PEOPLE IN MONGOLIA are now listening to my podcast.
This is a country whereas their average winter low temperatures plummet to an unspeakable -40 C.
A country that’s so remarkably rich in culture; a culture preserved since the Genghis Khan era.
These are the types of unknown territories which our parents, from a very young age, would tell us NOT to go to. I remember sitting at a brunch table at Jerry’s Nugget during brunch in May of 09, breaking the news about buying a ticket to Australia and my brother erupted in furious anger, “WHY THE HELL ARE YOU GOING TO AUSTRALIA?!”
At the time I didn’t know why, but then realize there was something outside the borders of America calling my name. It was freedom.
Mongolia, being one of the most remote and not-talked about countries on the globe, is my ultimate destination. If I can make visitable a word (as it’s not showing up with the red dotted lines beneath it – so perhaps it is), May-August (maybe even just June and July) are the only months I could practically visit. Snow falls at the end of September!
Another sign was listening to a 7 minute recording about the rich, cultural nature of Mongolians singing in front of a fire while teaching one of my students. This is almost unheard of around the world….countries preserving such unique cultures such as Mongolia.
The same itch of wanting to travel to Mongolia came at the hands of the second worst earthquake in the history of Japan back in the mid-1990’s. 17 years later, I visited Japan. I had a Singaporean friend 7 years ago and developed that itch of traveling there….5 years later – BOOM!
Now, this would be the biggest accomplishment in the history of my family if I can get to the capitol of Ulaanbaatar and get the visa stamp (although I don’t speak to my family); also, the message it could send to all African Americans worldwide who think small. I love experiences, and the more I have, the greater and more inspiring the story becomes.
First: I know that I have the ability to achieve the object of my definite purpose, therefore, I demand of myself persistent, aggressive and continuous action toward its attainment.
Second: I realize that the dominating thoughts of my mind eventually reproduce themselves in outward, bodily action, and gradually transform themselves into physical reality, therefore I will concentrate my mind for thirty minutes daily upon the task of thinking of the person I intent to be, by reading a mental picture of this person and then transforming that picture into reality through practice service.
Third: I know that through the principle of auto-suggestion, any desire that I persistently hold in my mind will eventually seek expression through some practical means of realizing it, therefore I shall devote ten minutes daily to demanding of myself the development factors that I want to attain.
Fourth: I have clearly amped out and written down a description of my definite purpose in life, for the coming five years. I have set a price on my services for each of these five years; a price that I intend to earn and receive, through strict application of the principle of efficient, satisfactory service which I will render in advance.
Fifth: I fully realize that no wealth or position can long endure unless built upon truth and justice, therefore I will engage in no transition which does not benefit all whom it affects. I will succeed by attracting to me the forces I wish to use, and the co-operation of other people. I will induce others to serve me because I will first serve them. I will eliminate hatred, envy, jealousy, selfishness and cynicism by developing love for all humanity because I know that a negative attitude toward others can never bring me success. I will cause others to believe in me because I will believe in them and in myself.
I will sign my name to this formula, commit it to memory and repeat it aloud once a day with full faith that it will gradually influence my entire life so that I will become a success and happy worker in my chosen field of endeavour.
Before you sign your name on this formula (copy and past on microsoft word), make sure you intend on carrying out its instructions.
If you fill your mind with doubt and unbelief in your ability to achieve, then the principle of Auto-suggestion takes this spirit of unbelief and sets it up in your subconscious mind as your dominating thought and slowly but surely draws you into the whirlpool of failure.
However, if you feel your mind with self-confidence, the principle of Auto-suggestion takes this belief and sets it up as your dominating thought and helps you master the obstacles that fall in your way until you reach the mountain-top of success.
People have forgotten about laughter being one of the greatest elixirs on the planet. When you laugh, not only does it help your abs (for my fitness enthusiasts), but releases endorphins and feel-good brain chemicals.
Will Smith, who’s a remarkable and iconic figure (not just a movie star), has sent shockwaves across the planet with his interview just before New Years (somewhere in England). His 30 minute talk inspired thousands upon thousands here in Thailand and someone even translated his entire speech into Thai.
Children absolutely love to laugh. Children love to play around and they certainly don’t care about criticism of others.
However, you know that childlike ego does what all children do – it whines, begs for attention, craves hugs, and acts out when it doesn’t get what its needs met. As we go through life, it’s almost as if we have that 3-year-old child holding on to us and constantly asking “why are we sitting at this desk? Why aren’t we having more fun? Why am I still up at three in the morning? Why am I reading this boring report?
If you had a 3-year-old ing eat life, yo might say, “Mommy has to finish this proposal in the next twenty minutes. But after Mommy’s done, we’ll go for an ice cream or play a video game.” Your real-life 3-year-old would probably answer, “Okay; I’ll be good because I know i’m going to get something good at the end of it.” – Jack Canfield.
I rewarded my inner child recently when I traveled to Singapore, Tokyo, Los Angeles, Phoenix, Sedona, Los Angeles, Seoul, Singapore, and back to Bangkok. My inner child, at some point, needs to know that I’ll be taking a break or a vacation. My inner child right now knows that I’m going to Fiji in August. My inner child knows that I’m always in high spirits in the morning when I do deadlifts.
A big part of creating more success in your life is rewarding yourself when you succeed. In reality, rewarding yourself for your successes keeps your inner child happy, right? If you don’t, you begin to get grumpy at everything. after a while, it knows it can trust you and eventually deliver on your promises. If you don’t, just like a real child, it will start to sabotage your efforts by doing things like getting sick, having accidents, or making mistakes that cost you anything and everything in life.
In relation to my Napoleon Hill podcast (below the creed), this is what the woman, who’s remarks carried her husband’s ambitions for becoming one of the most successful dentists in the state of Virginia, wrote down and made a copy of over her man’s desk.
” I believe in myself. I believe in those who work with me. I believe in my employer. I believe in my friends. I believe in my family. I believe that God will lend me everything I need with which to succeed if I do my best to earn it through faithful and honest service. I believe in prayer and I will never close my eyes in sleep without praying for divine guidance to the end that I will be patient with other people and tolerant with those who do not believe as I do. I believe that success is the result of intelligent effort and does not depend upon luck or sharp practices or double-crossing friends, fellow men, or my employer. I believe I will get out of life exactly what I put into it, therefore, I will be careful to conduct myself toward others as i would want them to act toward me. I will not slander those whom I do not like. I will not slight my work no matter what I may see others doing. I will render the best service of which I am capable because i have pledged myself to succeed in life and I know that success is always the result of conscientious and efficient effort. Finally, I will forgive those who offend me because I realize that I shall sometimes offend others and I will need their forgiveness.
Copy this creed. Format the creed. This is the basis and a lot of this surely pertains to you and what happens in your life daily. Once you start abiding by a creed, that negative self-talk will subside and with these positive, self affirming sentences, you will enable the principle of auto-suggestion and start attracting to you what this creed states.
I absolutely loved Australia. I loved everything it had to offer such as the gorgeous northern beaches (Avalon, Monavale, Deewhy, Palm Beach) in Sydney, to the beautiful suburbs in Melbourne, to the Blue Mountains, and Darling Harbour. So much good to point out, but I wasn’t able to fully relish the experience of actually being in Australia because I felt like I didn’t fit in.
Obviously living with Mauritians, Colombians and Bulgarians didn’t help with the full Australia experience (lol), but at the same time, I remember having a conversation with a housemate saying, “maybe I should just be boring like everyone else.”
She replied, “you have one of the most gorgeous personalities ever! Don’t be someone you’re not!”
That wasn’t music to my ears until I came to Thailand two years later. Despite wearing the suits that were perfectly tailored, the shoes, the smile, the meticulousness in general – I was still painted as an “African Scammer from Nigeria” through the eyes of them (no, I’m not from Nigeria, but they think I am). Yes, very blunt and unerringly frank. but this is where the fun began.
When I started experiencing the things I did over the course of several years, I realized, “wait, so…..regardless of who I am and what I represent, these particular individuals still disregard me. Therefore, I don’t have an image, even if I act crazy or not!”
Granted, I’m not one who just runs in circles in public screaming obscenities, but I am that guy who runs down the busiest roads rapping DMX while trying to PR my mile time.
I’m not myself. I’m someone who laughs in public, shares smiles with myself, and dances to work….all because of being in a society that banished me from the very beginning.
Because of this, I traveled to over 6 countries, work for the biggest companies, have a podcast that inspires thousands around the world, just created a website, etc. The purpose. The definite chief-aim happened when I started asking myself these questions before hearing that voice, “young man, you’re a brilliant individual who’s personality permeates when you walk into an auditorium. You’re a spectacular being. Be who you are!”
And here I am.
I’m inviting you to not worry about the criticism of others because the thing is, they don’t think. They don’t understand the laws of the universe. You do. When you start this journey of becoming the best version of you, you’ll start attracting to you likeminded individuals who will boost you professionally, spiritually, socially….and that’s when the fun begins.
Join me on this magnificent journey we call life.
The sad truth about how we look back on our past is that we all have a lot more victories than failures. In present day, we count all our negatives rather than the blessings. That’s a given. However; if we refer back to the past, we count all the negatives, too.
Yes, my mother and father split up after endless arguing between 95-98. Yes, I had two step mothers both whom were wonderful. Yes, I switched school four times over a one calendar year period and I never had the opportunity to acclimate. However, at the age of 11 when my mother took full custody of me, I can seriously count my major successes. This is a good exercise to begin with to start acknowledging your positive past.
BEGIN WITH NINE MAJOR SUCCESSES
Here’s a good way to begin an inventory on all of your major successes. Start by dividing your life into three equal time periods.
For example, I’m 28, so I’m looking at 3 increments of 9 (although massive success has came in the past year. HA!). If you’re 40 years old, you’re looking at “Birth to 13” and so on.
Here’s a list below of my major successes.
First Third: Birth to 9
Second Third: Age 10 to 19
Final Third: Age 20 to 28
Create A Victory Log
How about this, another way to stack those poker chips even higher is to keep a written record of your daily successes. It could be doing your morning meditation, making your grateful 10 list, following up on phone calls and so forth. By recalling and writing down your successes each day, you log them into your long-term memory, which enhances your self-esteem and builds your confidence.
If a lot of your victories are on the internet – for example, if you’re an athlete, artist, author, or businessperson – you can make a digital scrapbook on Pinterest.
The End of The Day Mirror Exercise
Here’s an example os what my exercise might sound like:
Arsenio, I want to appreciate you for the following things today: First, I was to appreciate you for waking up on time and knocking out that to-do list with grace. Then, you meditated for twenty minutes before dropping your clothes off at the wash. You created a couple of podcasts and inspiring instagram posts before going to work and preparing for the next two days.
One of the best things you accomplished was finally you created a website. You have your own website now! WOW! Who would’ve ever though, ey? You’ve done some maintenance and connected with people who can help you start ironing out the gorgeous platform that will have tons of traffic.
Oh, you got home, prepared your gym bag for the next day, meal-prepped for the next day, and now you’re looking up flight details for upcoming trips. Today was an absolute MARVELLOUS day, Arsenio. Now, go get some sleep!
And one more thing, Arsenio – I love you!
Yes, you might feel awkward, silly, might want to cry, or generally uncomfortable. There are all natural and normal reactions. We aren’t trained to acknowledge ourselves. In fact, we are mostly trained to do the opposite. Doing this can extinguish that negative internal self-talk
So, try it! Go on!
“Oh, another African American coon! I bet white people love you!” – Podcast Listener
“You’re so ignorant to say that America isn’t the most racist country on the planet. Comment somewhere else.”
This coming from a man in Georgia and another faceless YouTuber – both whom are African American.
This coming from people who have never traveled to Asia before.
Regardless of racism or not, this shows the severity of the situation amongst African Americans in not accepting others opinions while using hateful rhetoric to somehow demean an opinion.
I recall watching a random video of Jerry Tarknanian’s 1990-91 Runnin Rebels (University of Nevada Las Vegas) of UNLV and at BYU (Brigham Young University), there was a fan in the student section holding up a poster that said, “hey Jerry! Nice coon squad!”
I was called a ‘coon’ today (for the first time) by another African American.
We went from the great Jesse Owens, who had to overcome the most sickening conditions both in America and in Germany (him conquering and getting gold medals in front of the Nazi Regime), to Rosa Parks who just said “no,” to Martin Luther King giving his ‘I Have A Dream Speech’ to Mohammad Ali standing for all our rights…….now we’re killing each other on the streets of L.A. because one wears red and another wears blue. The harsh reality behind Moonlight and how African American societies revolve around other African Americans hating and beating one another in the likes of Liberty City, Gary, Compton, Flint, Camden, Detroit, Louisville and dozens of other towns/cities in America.
Not only in America, but Africans also burning each other alive in Nigeria, Kenya, bombs going off everywhere, looting, homicides….going back to the Rwanda genocide.
I want to know how can we gain respect from the rest of the world if we don’t respect ourselves? Hateful rhetoric and foolishness just shows the insecurity of another being, but there’s a blueprint within the mind which has built up sorrow and anger within. If you look at Lebron James, Kobe Bryant and co…..more African Americans hate them than anyone else!
I can sit here and write forever about the problems in the community of African Americans, but what about the solutions?