“When in doubt, tell the truth.” – Mark Twain
Aren’t we afraid of the consequences of making others feel uncomfortable or unworthy?
I use to work in Australia at a dental office where an assistant would complain all-day, turn customers away, have rude antics throughout the office, and was too stubborn to learn some of the most basic principles and procedures – yet they still kept her on staff. Why? They were afraid of firing her because they didn’t want to make her feel bad.
Telling the truth sooner is one of the most important success habits in the best world that you will ever develop. In fact, as soon as you start asking yourself that question, “when would be the best time to tell the truth,” that’s actually the best time to do so.
Will it be uncomfortable? Probably. Will it create lots of negative reactions from other peers and colleagues? Absolutely, but it’s the right thing to do. Get into the habit of telling the truth faster, especially if you’re a boss because if you don’t, having employees in your business who are considered “cancer” will end up dissecting everything about your business.
I’ve seen it happen at a number a businesses across dozens of countries and it all came because a particular person was “scared” to fire someone.
Formula For Crucial Conversations – Jack Canfield
Podcast – https://www.spreaker.com/episode/9341945
“Most communication resembles a Ping-Pong game in which people are merely preparing to slam their next point across; but pausing to understand differing points of view and associated feelings can turn apparent opponents into true member of the same team.” – Cliff Durfee
Jack Canfield said in his book, “unfortunately, in too many business, educational, and other settings, there is never an opportunity for feelings to be expressed and hear, so they build up to the point that people have no capacity to focus on the business at hand.”
This happened at a number of places I work in the past. A group of people sitting in a group pointing fingers and not taking the blame. No solutions. Not everyone got to talk. Just a lot of arguing and crying.
People just can’t listen until they have been heard. So, I thought making a podcast and describing in detail what a “heart talk” is could help you in your personal lives.
A Heart Talk is a structured communication process in which eight agreements are strictly adhered. It creates a safe environment for communication to occur – without the fear of interruption or being rushed. It’s also great to release suppressed emotions that could otherwise get in the way of business.
When To Use It
How To Conduct
Result From A Heart Talk
Podcast – https://www.spreaker.com/episode/9331130
When I was 7 years old, I remember watching my brother play Jurassic Park on Sega Genesis while listening to Babyface’s “when can I see you again.” In the kitchen, my mom cooked flour tortillas in vegetable oil for dinner. These thin-crusted chip figures was our dinner because my father didn’t come home that night and we didn’t have any food.
2003 – My mother lost her job. Without a father, we didn’t have any income coming whatsoever, so I recall one night having the power cut off. My mom called the power company and said, “what about my kids? I have kids at my home! They can’t sleep in the cold!” It was cut off for a very difficult 24 hours, but more hardships would come when she didn’t have enough money to buy a Thanksgiving Day dinner for us until a long time family came knocking on the door just after 9am and handed us a complete dinner.
I didn’t know how powerful that was at the time, but after hearing Tony Robbins story about a stranger giving them a turkey dinner and his father left out of humiliation….I was in awe at the fact that it was a similar situation.
People, who have obviously gone through financial hardships, would grow up thinking “money is the root of all evil” whilst having a very negative perception towards it.
Just two months ago, I stayed at a business hotel in the heart of Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia. This cozy, exquisite, luxury-class hotel was in the heart – just down the street from the gorgeous Petronas Towers. The turning point was when I was 30 floors in the sky sipping on margaritas, talking to one of my friends in Australia on my Mac and listening to a group of 4 rich Filipino/Malaysians having an absolute blast.
I’ve never, in the 28 years on planet Earth, heard people so incredibly happy and content with where they were in life. All I heard was the sound of grace.
Rich people have a different language.
What language do you possess?
Podcast – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mgZb0ExwYkU
“Brain researchers estimate that your unconscious data base outweighs the conscious on an order exceeding ten million to one. This dat base is the source of your hidden, natural genius. In other words, a part of you is much smarter than you are. The wise people regularly consult that smarter part.” – Michael J. Gelb
Does that name ring a bell? The one who created the movie “the secret” and got some of the greatest minds together to make a movie that shifted the way the world thinks.
Yeah, she inquired from within. All this information isn’t out there for everyone. You have to dig. And through intense struggles, she did. She began looking in some of the oldest scrolls and manuscripts to date. From Ralph Waldo, all the way back to Buddha and realized the secret had been tucked away in the depths of what could be the deepest part of the pacific ocean….for the longest.
Intuition also plays an incredible role, especially my life, where I’ve talked about in numerous podcasts about trusting my intuition. Quitting jobs, jumping from province to province in hopes to find a better job, and so many other gutsy calls here in Thailand.
Intuition is not something relegated to certain people or to psychics. Everyone has it and everyone has experienced it. Have you ever been thinking about your old friend and then the phone rings and it’s your friend? Have you ever awakened in the middle of the night and knew something had happened to one of your children, only to find out later that it was the exact moment your son was in an automobile accident? Have you ever felt a burning sensation on the back of your neck, and then turned to see a man staring at you from across the room?
I’ll give you one that just happened to me yesterday. One of my students mentioned Mount Kilimanjaro in Tanzania yesterday. Today, I met a girl who didn’t even say “hi,” instead, she said “I went to Tanzania.”
Let me give you the odds of this. The odds of a Thai student going to east Africa on an organizational trip is next to none. How was a mountain and remote country in Africa brought up in a spontaneous and coincidental situation such as today?
For those of you who don’t have solid intuition, regular meditation will help that.
It will help you clear out distractions and teach you to recognise subtle impulses from within. Think of parents sitting on a bench of the edge of a playground filled with children laughing and yelling at each other. In the midst of all this noise, the parents can pick out their own child’s voice from all the other voices in the playground.
As you meditate and become more spiritually attuned, you can better recognise the sound of your higher self speaking to you through words, images, and sensations.
If you want to know more about how to do this, here’s my podcast….
Podcast – https://www.spreaker.com/episode/9301715
“When two or more people coordinate in a spirit of harmony and work toward a definite objective or purpose, they place themselves in position, through the alliance, to absorb power directly from the great storehouse of Infinite Intelligence.” – Napoleon Hill
He wrote that in his book “the law of success” and I still remember the exact page and time when i read it. Why? Two heads are always better than one, right? When it comes to problem solving or creating a result.
This process is called masterminding.
Napoleon Hill wrote about this in 1937 about the world’s richest industrialists who harnessed their power together to former a mastermind group.
Andrew Carnegie had a mastermind group.
Harris Ford did, too. Ford would actually mastermind with other brilliant thinkers such as Thomas Edison and Harvey Firestone at their winter mansions in Fort Myers, Florida.
It’s the universal power. The infinite intelligence. When a mastermind group, of any sort, is working in perfect harmony, the vibrational frequency is unmatched. This actually happened to me the for the first time just speaking with a samaritan at 24-hour fitness in Las Vegas. Eli and I were talking exactly about the laws of the universe, and after the conversation, I remember driving home electrified. The energy within me probably could’ve been seen illuminating and I’ve never had that overwhelming feeling of joy and bliss before at that time. I knew then that something special had taken place.
The basic philosophy of this is basically anything that could be achieved in less time. These people would come together weekly, biweekly, or monthly – to share ideas, thoughts, information, feedback, contact, and resources.
This group can be composed of people all drawn from your own profession, or composed of people from a variety of walks of life. It could be a focus on business issues or personal issues, or even both.
In my podcast, I talk more about how to assemble a mastermind group, what the ideal size is, and conducting a mastermind meeting – not to mention having an accountability partner. So, if you’re interested in forming this specific group, listen to my podcast down below.
Podcast – https://www.spreaker.com/episode/9273105
“Gratitude is the sign of noble souls.” – AESOP
Tony Robbins said in his book, “money can’t change who we are. All it does is magnify our true natures. If you’re mean and selfish, you have more to be mean and selfish with. If you’re grateful and loving, you have more to appreciate and give.”
Think about 2008. Think about one of the biggest financial meltdowns in American history. What did you experience? How did it affect you? Your family?
I was literally called in by my boss at the college and he said, “listen, arsenio, you know longer have a summer budget. Therefore, you cannot work for the rest of the summer.” He said that in June. Could you imagine what was going through my mind? Me now having a big rent to pay in a bachelor’s pad with my best friend near Nellis Air Force Base in Las Vegas, Nevada?
Our reactions to that year was fear, anger, resignation, even resolve.
Adolf merke was the 94th richest man in Germany back in 2007 with a net worth of $12 billion USD.
in 2008, he decided to take a massive bet in the stock market, and guess what?….he lost. Big time. Almost three-quarters of a billion dollars. What did he do? Well, after all the losses here in black ink, he literally wrote a suicide notes and walked in front of a speeding train – killing himself.
Get this, he was trying to get loans to pay off some debt before the suicide but he was declined. Just a few days later, the loans went through and he died a rich man, having 9 billion dollars.
Did he die for money? Well, money was an identity. It made him significant. He thought if he lost it, his status would deplete.
How often have we attached our identity to money at some level? A little more than we’d all like to admit.
On the other hand, you have billionaires who would like to die broke, like Chuck Feeney. He’s helping create peace in Northern Island, to fighting AIDS in South Africa, to educating kids in Chicago. The most amazing thing about this is that he does it anonymously. He doesn’t want people knowing that it’s him.
Tony said earlier, ‘if you don’t master money, at some level, it’s going to master you.”
There are six human needs that Tony talks about and that I will talk about in the next blog.
If you want to hear me speaking instead of just reading, my podcast is down below. Just copy and paste and stay tuned for the next blog!
Podcast – https://www.spreaker.com/episode/10251418
I absolutely believe that people, unless coached, never reach their maximum capabilities.” – Bob Nardelli.
You wouldn’t expect Lebron James to be the athlete he is today without the help of mentors or personal coaches, right? You wouldn’t expect an American football team to enter a stadium without it’s coach, right?
A good coach would help you clarify things and even put you in the right direction of where you’re going.
Back in 2004, I joined track and field at my high school. I thought I was going to be one of the top people on the team, but I ended up being the bottom 5%.
One day at practice, my coach pulled me aside and a childhood friend and said, “here, Arsenio. I want you to get over these sticks.” Those sticks were hurdles. He knew that I didn’t have the amount of strength in my legs to run the breakneck 100m or 200m runs, so he decided me to put me on hurdles.
What a decision that was!
I made it to the sunrise regional championships three straight years and lettered each year. Coaches always know best.
Why Coaching Works
The end goal is learning how to coach others. If you know the basic steps and skills of coaching, it will make you a better parent, spouse, teacher, manager, network, marketer, athletic coach, and even a better friend.
Podcast – https://www.spreaker.com/episode/9243099
“Study anyone who’s great, and you’ll find that they apprenticed to a master, or several masters. Therefore, if you want to achieve greatness, renown, and superlative success, you must apprentice to a master.” – Robert Allen
Success leaves clues. Why not take advantage of all the wisdom and experience that already exists by finding a mentor who has already done what you want to do? Just ask!
Determine in advance what you want from this mentor. Les Brown, for instance, would help you see possibilities. In other words, mentors help you overcome “possibility blindness.”
Maybe you just need someone to open doors for you. Or perhaps you need a referral to a technical expert. Whatever it may be, these particular individuals/mentors will allow you to see the bread crumbs in life that most of us miss throughout our daily lives.
Do Your Homework
Do your research on the names and backgrounds of people. I’ve given a list of names a number of times for you to look up who you like the most. The people who have been successful in the industry you’re trying to enter.
There’s an excerpt in Jack Canfield’s book that plays the role of a specific individual asking someone for help – ultimately getting help from the mentor and ended up expanding his company exponentially.
Hello, Mr. Johnston, my name is Neil. We haven’t met yet. And I know you’re a busy man, so I’ll be brief. I own a small trucking business. Over the years, you have done a fantastic job building your business into one of the largest companies in our industry. I’m sure you had some real challenges when you were first starting out. Well, I’m still in those early stages, trying to figure everything out. Mr. Johnston, I would really appreciate it if you would consider being my mentor. All that would mean is spending ten minutes on the phone with me once a month, so I could ask you a few questions. I’d really appreciate it. Would you be open to that?
Not too hard, right?
You also better be prepared to give your mentors something in return. Even if it’s something simple such as keeping them updated on industry information or calling with new opportunities that might benefit them.
Network Your Way To Success
Generating referrals and increased business – normally the referrals you get from networking are high quality. You can ultimately turn these people into clients over time.
Expanding opportunities – getting together with motivated business owners could lead to a joint venture, partnership, speaking and writing opportunities, business or asset sales, investment opportunities and so much more.
Networking is all about relationships – If you’re attending networking events hoping to sell something, you’re dreaming. Don’t confuse direct selling with networking. Effective networking is all about developing relationships. Networking is more about farming, not hurting. Development with other business professionals. Sometimes you’ll want to go to a networking event just to increase your visibility, establish credibility, etc.
The most dangerous leadership myth is that leaders are born – that there is a genetic factor to leadership. That’s nonsense; in fact, the opposite is true. Leaders are made rather than born. – Warren Bennis
You need to enroll others to achieve the success you want, regardless if you teach at a school, own a small business, coach an athletic team, etc.
Our success, doesn’t matter what you do, requires the help of others. The most successful people in the world know how to communicate their vision in exciting and compelling terms.
In the process of leading, great leaders also transform their followers, right?
Not just team based, like Michael Jordan, but look at the hundreds of millions of lives changed simply by non-profit organizations?
Lisa Nichols is an epitome of that, too. She has transformed the lives of thousands of women in terms of health because she ended up taking control of the health aspect of her life and produced a transformation herself.
When you become a leader, it gives you the opportunity to magnify your impact of the world. Also, knowing how to be an effective one will make you more successful – whether you are climbing the corporate ladder, building a network marketing downline, working as a social change agent, or even coaching a basketball team.
Behaviour #1: Know Your Own Strengths & Weaknesses
It’s kind of like in my podcast in terms of proactive language vs. reactive language. Understand yourself. Knowing your own strengths and weaknesses also helps you keep your emotion in check during times of intense pressure or crisis, right? If a problem is announced on the plane in terms of engine failure, are you going to get up and scream when your family needs you to be at your peak? Or, be the one who keeps everyone in check?
Behavior #2: Hold Yourself Accountable…and others, too.
When you consistently take 100% responsibility and follow through on your commitments, you develop a trust between other people. Do you arrive to meetings on time? Deliver your part of the projects? Abide by promises? Consider new opportunities in light goals?
I was give a task to create a conversation curriculum at my present job. My boss completely delegated the task to me and gave me the deadline – I delivered. Not only did I deliver, but I enabled my specific branch to earn the highest amount in a calendar year because my dedication to this new curriculum for English Language Learners. Since then, that trust has been cemented in and now we’re locked in for the future.
When you’re give a task, small or life-altering, take 100% responsibility and write it down in black ink because if you fail to deliver, trust ultimately subsides.
Behavior #3: Inspire Your Team With A Clear, Compelling, Continuous Vision
You need to have a compelling vision for the future to inspire others. What will you and your team ultimately achieve? By when? What will everyone gain when the goal is reached?
To get other people’s buy-in, you’ll also need to articulate who your team will become as they learn and grow. Believing in this vision must be unshakable. That means that you must believe it’s not only possible – but also desirable, essential, and inevitable.
When I first started the development of my curriculum, I had the end goal in mind at the very beginning. People began saying, “it looks like you put a lot of work into this. Can you give me a presentation?” Bill gates had a vision of a “personal computer in every home and on every desk.”
Behavior #4: Listen For Possibility
A great leader will listen to his team – not only to hear their thoughts and input but also to make sure they feel heard. Effective listening is a very powerful and essential skill for leaders.
Jack Canfield – “In a meeting, when you’re talking, you’re merely repeating or reporting what you already know; nothing new is created. But when you listen intently, you can co=create new approaches, new outcomes, and new benefits from the ideas that you hear.”
Behavior #5: Coach Others To Take A Leadership Role
Behavior #6: Maintain An Attitude Of Gratitude
Everyone needs to be acknowledge for what they do. Positive reinforcement. Numerous studies have showed that 80% of employees work harder when their employers show appreciation.
Schedule time and build in systems and rituals to appreciate people more often and consistently!
“If you don’t want to work, you have to earn enough money so that you won’t have to work.” – Ogden Nash
Welcome to the money series, people! On top of the other series that I have (Lisa Nichols – Abundance Now; Stephen Covey – 7 Habits of Highly Effective People; Jack Canfield – The Success Principles), this is the one about money, savings, mutuals, investments, among so many other things.
Tony Robbins, the guru (I believe) in the financial field, has an extremely good book in terms of how to invest and where to put your money.
I’ve already done a number of podcasts on here that could be found at – https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/the-arsenio-buck-show/id1181794790?mt=2
So before diving into this, I highly suggest you getting a rundown of what this book about.
Without further ado, we were suppose to come up with a number in mind about putting together a monthly withdrawal and putting it into a tax-free mutual fund or 401K.
Did you come up with that number? 5%? 8%? 10%? 20%?
What if you don’t have a number in mind to put towards compounding? What’s holding you back? I can tell you. It feels like you’re losing something. If it’s not being used today towards the materialistic world, you think you’re losing money, or will keep losing money for the next 10-20 years.
That’s the thing about humanity. If we feel like we’re not getting it now, we won’t do it. That’s why so many people don’t save and invest; however, you’re giving yourself a peace of mind and setting up a large fortune of return in the future.
But for those of you who do have a number, look at the following picture.
Tony Robbins has recommend not going any lower than 10%. If you look at the picture above, that’s the reason why. If you save as little as 3.5%, the returns are small. However, if you save over 10%; let alone 13+%, the returns are MASSIVE. You could go from buying a pair of shoes to a buying a sports car.
Ofcourse, you’ll still need to “earn” that little raise from your boss who probably won’t give it to you, but if you do achieve a raise, put that small percentage on top of what you’re already investing.
If you’re new to this, you can message me with any information @ArsenioBuckShow (twitter) or my Facebook page: The Arsenio Buck Show and ask me any questions you’d like.
Until then, begin following this process to financial freedom with the rest of my listeners from around the world. If you want to hear the podcast, copy and past the link below.
Podcast – https://www.spreaker.com/episode/10228209