Darren Hardy: Associations – Who’s Influencing You?

Who do you spend the most time with?

Honestly, ask yourself this question because within it lies the answer to all your sorrows.  Are you constantly around negative people? Do I have to bring this up AGAIN? You are who your closest five friends are.  Just do me a favor and drop one loser friend out of your life.  Ok, if you don’t want to expunge the human being because he’s been your friend all your life, just reduce the amount of time you talk to him/her for.  Go form speaking three times a day to him/her – to two times a day.  It will make a difference.

When I first moved to Bangkok, I had no idea that I developed a hell of an intuition for the 11 months I was in Las Vegas (after my Australia visa finished).  What happened was I had a friend.  This friend had a “bad” job….not even sure how I met her (she was a soapy massage girl).  When I met her for the second time ever, I saw the amount of bad energy she had.  The feeling of pain (agony), discontent, anger, and depression that was around her was unbearable.  I recall looking into her eyes at one point and I immediately looked away.  When I left to my main province in job in southeast Thailand, I never spoke to her again.

Later, I had a couple friends by the name of Mook and Ploy who were very nice individuals.  I realized then that I should probably be around nice people; rather than soapy massage girls (comical – I know).

Do you spend time around people who want more in life, or people who are considered “losers?”

Who are the people you most admire?

Ahhhh….the sound of Les Brown’s voice is amazing.  Many of you reading this blog probably admire your parents, your best friends, even the dog down the road.  By all means…we have different means of inspiration, but my parent (my mother…I don’t consider Willie my parent) fueled my inspiration in 2006 when she gave me all rights to my life.  Magnificent human being.  After that, I found my inspiration on YouTube in 2015 – the last year I constantly victimized myself.   Lisa Nichols, Les Brown, Tony Robbins, Tim Ferris, Napoleon Hill, Dale Carnegie, and other books and videos disrupted my biochemistry and I began to believe in myself again – oh, most notably – Jack Canfield.

How about you? Do you admire sports stars? Or, do you admire historical figures of the past? 

Are those two groups of people exactly the same? 

They’re all the same in terms of inspiration and what they preach and teach about.

Eventually, over the course of x amount of months, whoever you spend time with most….you begin to eat what they eat, talk what they talk, walk how they walk, dress like they dress, treat people how they treat people, read what they read.  You name it…you become it.

Think of a friend who orders the greasy food or cocktails before dinner (although I love me some oven-baked chicken and long islands from time-to-time), and if you hang out with them enough, you’ll know that it’s a very ugly habit.  Just recently I met a girl who was saying, “I hate working out. It’s boring. It’s not fun.  I’m lazy…and I like being fat.”  Stay around someone like that long enough and you’ll become that person.  Meanwhile, your other friends order healthy food and talk about the inspiring books they’re reading and their ambitions in their businesses, and you begin to assimilate their behaviors and habits. You read and talk about what they talk about, you see the movies they’re excited about, and you go to the places they recommend.

This was one of the biggest deciding factors in leaving America permanently.  I knew if I had stuck around in my families sorrows, I too, would become part of their sorrows.  The 11 months from June 2012 – May 2013 were some of the most difficult months of my life.  The constant nagging, not having enough money comments, complaining about one’s boyfriend, bad-mouthing people from work….it wore me out.  Luckily, I purchased a pair of Bose Headphones, which was one of the smartest purchases I’ve ever made in my life, in Australia earlier in 2012.  Nonetheless, you can’t live a positive life around negative people.

So, ask yourself now: “what’s the combined average income, health, and attitudes of the people you spend the most time with?”

When I was in Australia last year, my ex-friend (yeah, my ex-friend) had become a nurse.  Her income was much more than mine, but it inspired me.  My best friend in New York makes more than me.  That also inspires me.  Those are, or were my closest friends.  I don’t have to worry about this because I’m around my students the majority of the time.  So after a long work day, I don’t go hang out with friends because I have to prepare everything for the next day.

However, you….the reader….you need to write down the names of those five people. Write down the main characteristics.  Look at where they’re going in life, the relationships they have with other people.  Is that list ok for you. Are you heading in the right direction?

Podcast

Darren Hardy: Chapter 5 – Influences

There are three influences: input (what you feed your mind), associations (the people you spend time with),  and your environment.

If you’re one of those Facebook scrollers, you’re feeding your mind with a good amount of head-trash.  This means that you’re going to end up reading, posting, or sharing something which you have no control over.  Look at the President of the United States, for instance.  How many people post and rant their heads off at them? What do you accomplish by doing it? You really have to take a step back and look at it from that perspective.

I had a wonderful student a year or two ago.  She was a marvelous dental student, but she was quieter than ever.  Sure, “that fits the profile and persona of a dentist,” but she asked me “how can I bring out my personality?”

I asked, “are your friends quiet?”

…….”yes.”

Of course they are.  I can bet you right now if she had funny friends around her for a month, her personality would change.

A funny story about this would be Thai women try looking “black.”

That’s right.  They get hair extensions and tan their skin as much as possible to come off as an “African American.”  When you speak to them, they have a good amount of slang.  Guess who their friends are? You guessed it! Wait, no you didn’t.  Their friends are all from Africa.

I thought it was a funny story to tell. HA!

Environment has to be the biggest.  Honestly, biggest slum in Bangkok by the name of Khlong Toei is infested with poor people.

Rose Garden Townhomes, a place that my mother has been living for almost two decades, is full of a bunch of generational welfare pumping hood rats (hey, just calling it how I see you).

Are rich people hanging out with poor people?  Is someone from Beverly Hills going to a gym in Watts? Do the people in Manhattan live in the Bronx?

NOPE!

I. Input: Garbage in, garbage out.

“If you want your body to run at peak performance, you’ve got to be vigilant about consuming the highest-quality nutrients and avoiding tempting junk food. If you want your brain to perform at its peak, you’ve got to be even more vigilant about what you feed it. Are you feeding it news summaries or mind-numbing sitcoms? Are you reading the tabloids, or SUCCESS? Controlling the input has a direct and measurable impact on your productivity and outcomes.”

Excerpt From: Darren Hardy. “The Compound Effect.” iBooks.

This tackles it from two different angles.

On the super-busy days at my job, if I don’t eat protein and a handful of vegetables, I suffer from a mid-afternoon crash.  I can give you straightforward why I do, too – RICE!

Doesn’t make sense to eat rice when your body is not burning anything, right? However, I do!

Now is rice junk food? Absolutely not.  Brown rice is amazing.  But if I eat it at wrong times of the day, my body falls apart.

From an intake of information standpoint, people watch the news, sitcoms, reality TV (A.K.A – sitcoms!) and a handful of other things that serve them no purpose.  Controlling what our brains consume is very difficult. Also, our brain is not designed to make us happy.  It’s got one agenda: survival.

Robberies, fires, terrorist attacks, economy, Trump, internet trolls, nagging co-workers, angry individuals on public transportation – AVOID! If not, your brain is going to dissect the information and spend hours chewing on the fearful information, which will then bring more fear, which could lead to a heart attack.  I mean, pretty excessive, but it most certainly happens when people are driving to work in America every Monday morning.

Podcast

https://www.spreaker.com/user/thearseniobuckshow/darren-hardy-chapter-5-influences