Stephen Covey’s Speed of Trust: Season 4 – Episode 6 – The Four Cores

Guys welcome back to another Stephen Covey blog/podcast, and today is a follow up from what we’ve already done with the questionnaire (last week). 

So, each part in the questionnaire corresponds to one of the “4 Cores of Credibility.”  These are the foundational elements that make you believable, both ot yourself and to others. 

So, when it comes to integrity, it basically means honesty.  It’s walking your talk.  Do you live up to your values and beliefs? Or do you do opposite of what you say. 

Core 2: Intent

The second core deals with issues of intent.  This has to do with our motives, our agendas, and our resulting behavior.  Trust grows when our motives are straightforward and based on mutual benefit — in other words, when we genuinely care not only for ourselves, but also for the people we interact with, lead, or serve.  When we suspect a hidden agenda from someone or we don’t believe they are acting in our best interests, we are suspicious about everything they say and do. 

Both integrity and intent are matters of character.

Stephen Covey’s Speed of Trust

This happens a lot in my life because I have a tendency of always saying to myself, “is this real?”  Came across a lady on the street last night and she was super friendly.  It didn’t make any sense, and I truly believed that she had a hidden agenda. She was trying to exploit me somehow, someway, and I was right. 

Core 3: Capabilities

The third core deals with issues of capabilities.  These are the abilities that have inspire confidence — our talens, attitudes, skills, knowledge, and style.  They are the means we use to produce results.  A family doctor might have integrity and his motives might be good, but unless he’s trained and skilled to perform the task at hand (brain surgery, for example) he’ll be lacking in credibility in that area.  Capabilities also deal with our ability to establish, grow, extend, and restore trust. 

Stephen Covey’s Speed of Trust

Core 4: Results

The fourth core deals with issues around results.  This refers to our track record, our performance, our getting the right things done.  If we don’t accomplish what we are expected to do, it diminishes our credibility.  On the other hand, when we achieve the results we promised, we establish a positive reputation of performing, of being a produce, and our reputation precedes us. 

Stephen Covey’s Speed of Trust

And these are the cores.  Remember, everyone, each area is of equal importance.  Example, someone who has great integrity, good intent and a great track record my lack capabilities.  Another person who has great integrity, capable and produces excellent results may have selfishness and doesn’t care about you.  

In any case, you won’t fully trust that person in any situation. So, in order to visualize the importance of all cores is by through the metaphor of a tree.  Integrity is the root of the tree which everything else grows.  Intent becomes more visible after you establish the character, which is just below the soil.  It’s essentially the big trunk the pokes its head out.  The capabilities are the branches and the capacities that enable us to produce.  Results are the fruits.  

So, with the being said, we’re going to have to start going through the cores

Podcast

Coaching Session 003: Being Creative

So, I was asked this fascinating question just recently by one of my content writers.  She asked me how to be creative and how we can continue being creative.  Well, we’re living in a world that’s changing literally every year, month, week, day.  The YouTube’s and Apple’s of the world can ultimately fall apart just as Toys R Us and other massive chains in different countries plummeted.  Well, if we take a look at my ESL podcast and how I’ve been teaching in Thailand, this is probably the only way I can relate to this post.

The Initiation

When I first moved to Thailand, I was making a sloppy $600 USD a month.  Now, the teacher told me I would get paid $66 dollars less because I was black, too.  What was I doing at this school? Teaching younger kids — which required a lot of creativity.  That’s basically it. For five months I didn’t have any personal development and didn’t try learning useful skills that will make me a hot commodity.

Second Job

I moved up to $1000 dollars a month, which is an 80% increase, teaching technical college students.  Did I learn anything while I was there? Absolutely not…but with 5 months experience, this gave me a significant pay raise that I never thought I would get.

The Reality

When I finally moved outside of Bangkok, not only did I make 2k USD a month, but I first taught TOEIC (a test preparation course to enable the student to apply for higher paying jobs based on their English language literacy).  I learned to teach 4-skills (reading, writing, speaking, listening), academic writing, IELTS, business English and other facets.  When they saw I was an excellent speaker, they wanted me to create a new course that catered to conversation, which was a success beyond a success.  I got gigs teaching at the top-5 companies within these borders (email writing, business English and other areas), and when this happened, jealousy began growing.

Then I knew I was on the right path. The more I learned, the more I earn.

In 2015, I created a YouTube video that now has over 9k views…..never did I think that would happen.  It wasn’t until earlier this year that I had the idea, “hey, if there are lots of people viewing my videos YouTube, how about I make a podcast and see where it goes? Bingo! From there, my podcast soared over the last couple of months.  I began creating 1-minute videos on Instagram and my Facebook page — resulting in BIG HITS.  I turned that into online coaching, which I do live on the weekends and set up the refreshment course via YouTube.

And Then

A coach for Toyota, who has traveled the world and who I’ve been teaching the past three weeks (TOEFL) spoke to me for twenty minutes at the end of class saying, “you have e-test, e-learning, coaching, and refreshing).  While he was talking to me, I realized that I was unconsciously doing two of them already (coaching and refreshing) and it has been STELLAR since beginning two weeks ago.

The Creative

If I can create an e-test for my students and provide specialized courses in the different sectors of English, this could be the new-age part of learning.  If you haven’t already heard, universities are 1 trillion in debt and now people are realizing that university, is indeed, a scam.  In ten years time, we could be learning in virtual reality.  The language centers here in Thailand and all over the world, which are my competitors, can no longer provide a book and a “teacher” to teach from a book (super easy to do). They’ll have to become more creative.

So, how do I stay relevant? Integration of sophisticated lessons that will capture the imaginations of my students, making them better members of society while focusing on their core genius.  Professors around the world teach what’s only in books, and that will all be gone once AI is implemented and we no longer need to memorize information that’s useless.

Being creative is doing exactly what the big companies, which have failed, didn’t do.  Continue evolving and providing your customers with more things and innovate your technology to make life easier.  Jack Ma says “find a need and fill it.”

If you had known about Buzzsprout in the beginning of the year, you would know how garbage it was.  This platform, which podcasters can use to host, was completely useless compared to SoundCloud (a now “pay for plays” platform).  I didn’t know the metrics, who was listening, the last x amount of plays, or ANYTHING.  It was generic as hell compared to sites like Spreaker — a site I can see all the sources on.  However, I’m able to schedule my ESL podcasts now, transcript for little to no money (compared to hosting sites which charge 10x more), and I can put chapter markers in my podcast — a feature that has been invented on any other platform.

Buzzsprout knows in order for it to stay afloat, it has to continue evolving. The moment it began to grow complacent (at the beginning of the year), that was beginning of its downfall.

Always continue making life easier for your customers. Period.

Podcast

 

The Speed of Trust: Season 4 – Episode 1 -Low/High Trust Relationships

So, before we get into the basis of it all, let’s first try outline some of the frustrations we have on a daily basis.

  • I can’t stand the politics at work.  I feel sabotaged by my peers.  It seems like everyone is out for himself and will do anything to get ahead. 

  • I’ve really been burned in the past.  How can I ever trust anyone enough to have a real relationship?

  • I work in an organization that’s bogged down with bureaucracy.  It takes forever to get anything done.  I have to get authorization to buy a pencil!

  • The older my children get, the less they listen to me.  What can I do?

  • I feel like my contributions at work are hardly ever recognized or valued.  

  • I foolishly violated the trust of someone who was supremely important to me.  If I could hit “rewind” and make the decision differently, I would do it in a heartbeat. But I can’t.  Will I ever be able to rebuild the relationship?

  • I have to walk on eggshells at work.  If I say what I really think, I’ll get fired…or at least made irrelevant. 

  • My boss micromanages me and everyone else at work.  He treats us all like we can’t be trusted. 

  • With all the scandals, corruption, and ethical violations in our society today, I feel like someone has pulled the rug out from under me.  I don’t know what — or who — to trust anymore.  

In all of these situations, you CAN do something.  Look, you’ve heard the storm on a number of occasions in terms of what happened between my family and I.  I was the bigger man and decided to message my mother a couple years later.  Did she show any signs of gratitude when she got a message from me? No.  Furthermore, I messaged the siblings, whose relationships are beyond dilapidation, and there was no remorse.  There’s no way they can instill trust in me again and they would much rather have a bulk of anger.  That’s a decision that they will have to live with for the rest of their lives.  I TRIED doing something, but it takes two to tango at times.

SImply put, trust means confidence.  The opposite of trust is distrust and suspicious.

I want you to think right now of someone who you have a high-trust relationship with — perhaps a boss, coworker, parent, sibling, best friend.  What’s it like? How does it feel? How well do you communicate with them? How quickly can you get things done? How much do you enjoy this relationship?

Now

Think of a person with whom you have a low-trust relationship.  Again, it could be any of the nouns above.  How does it feel? How is the communication? Does it flow quickly and freely? Or do you feel like you’re constantly walking on landmines and being misunderstood? Do you enjoy this relationship? Or do you find it draining?

Podcast

 

Arsenio’s ESL Podcast: Special – IELTS – Writing Task II – Free-writing a Task

Welcome back, everyone! Let’s check out this Writing Task II I have.

To some people, studying the past is the best way to help young people function well in the modern world.  To what extent do you agree or disagree? What other measures could be effective in helping young people to function well in the modern world?

Now, there are so many ways you can develop an argument from this (depending on what side you choose), but your goal is to do some free-writing for 10-15 minutes on the topic.  It’s far better getting your ideas on paper rather than just having them in your head.

So, here’s my free-writing.

Studying the past isn’t going to necessarily help the modern world.  If we look at our past mistakes, which were made on an grand scale starting with WWI, to the end of of the Vietnam war, we can see how great life truly is.  The world is in a remarkably better state compared to the past. Also, if we look at the education system of the past, it’s completely shambolic.  Sure, sitting in rows with students in a classroom and being told to raise your hand may still work, but it doesn’t create leaders which our society so desperately needs.  Functioning, in the real world, will consist of implementing personal development curriculum in all university syllabi.  Learning about critical thinking, saving money, leadership, defining a definite chief aim, and most importantly, doing more than what you’re paid to do, is the true definition of success.

Here’s a run up of what I kind of talked about, so be sure to tune into the podcast for more!

Podcast

The Failure of Credentials (part 2/2)

Arsenio Foreword: Jiun went through the same thing I went through.  While I was sitting outside one morning after USA’s basketball team got ripped apart by the greeks in the FIBA World Championships in 2006, I was talking to a friend (at the time) name Kristine and I told her that I wanted to be an orthodontist.

How ridiculous of an idea that was at the time? Well, it was all about the money, but with the amount of debt I would’ve racked up, I would have been screwed forever.

Sometimes we need these resets in life.  When I was telling another friend about making a career change on my couch in 2008, I told him, “maybe I should just do a minor dental assisting to see if I even like it, and it was the BESTTTTTTT decision I ever made in my life because the dental field — was NOT for me.

In terms of automated jobs and not acquiring skills that will ultimately prepare us for the next couple of decades (especially when AI is 100% going), Jiun is here to explain it again.

He went on to emphasize the 21st-century economy and that it is undergoing a transition from traditional jobs to an entrepreneurial economy because of technology democratising resources that allowed people to become entrepreneurs with a fraction of the cost. Taylor Pearson went on to prove his theory by coming up with case studies like lifestyle entrepreneurs that he networked with during his days as their employee before he ventured out on his own. Also, he emphasized the importance of apprenticeship was better than traditional Socratic and scholastic educational system of the traditional educational system by colleges or universities.

The tech titans in Silicon Valley like Apple, IBM and Google — even Facebook — started to hire people from the non-traditional routes like learning through MOOC and other micro-colleges or universities that emphasized on mastery learning and blended learning.  Also, they are beginning to recognise talents from high school dropouts or never being to college due to higher student debts. With higher student debts, it causes many students questioning their return on investment on their paper credential.

The flaw of the brick and mortar university education will be too rigid in a world of fast pace changes where some graduates finish their schooling would realise their skills are already outdated as being emphasised by a self-help book by a foreign student from Nigeria known as ‘The Tribute’. It was because getting good grades no longer guarantees you a well-paid job because of limited upgraded skills. The writer emphasised continuous learning or lifelong learning to keep your brain young as it was quoted by Albert Einstein — that learning will keep you young and you are old when you stop learning.

In an age of democratised information, educational credentialism has become increasingly irrelevant as many young people are enrolling in colleges or universities competing for better jobs. The competition, as we all know, is getting intense — and value for an educational credential will become extrinsic. Typical autodidacts like Sean Parker and Shawn Fanning could learn skills like coding and other technical skills for a typical geek that could learn and run their lifestyle business for free, and at the same time, at a fraction of a cost — even an expensive online course would be around $1000 to $2000 USD.

The major reason most tech titans will probably start hiring people from outside the traditional route is because the tolerance of diversity and being passionate is a skill that was overlooked. Based on Google Inc research, the greatest skill of all time that never has never been certified or been taught in school, will be having passion for a job.

Companies are hiring with or without degrees because they know we’re are going to soon live in a degreeless world.  When that happens, universities will switch and start charing obscene amounts of money for the skills that are being learned now in the younger generations.

Lewis Howes: The Alpha Mask Introduction!

After so many months of not reading this book (and now realizing that I’m finished with the Gary Vee book), I’ve reverted my attention back to one of the most splendidly terrifying books out there that’s almost certain to put all men in some of the most uncomfortable places.  I present you the ALPHA MASK!

“You’re in a bar and some guy gets rude. You’re in a meeting and someone other than you is getting all the attention. You’re trying to talk your phone bill down, but the guy on the other end of the line is a jerk about it.

How does this make you feel? How do you respond? For a lot of men, the answer is simple: It challenges their very identity as a man. It makes them feel less than. Since they see themselves as alpha males—the top dogs—they simply cannot handle the downgrade in status.

But here’s the danger—in some of the situations, the degree to which you are assertive and display your full alpha colors could meaningfully change what happens, for better or worse. It might affect whether you are able to walk away in one piece.”

Excerpt From: Lewis Howes. “The Mask of Masculinity.” iBooks.

BOOM! Omg! I mean, when I read this, I laughed out loud! How many times, especially throughout our daily lives, are we accosted by this insidious behavior?

Ok, I’ve been seeing a lot of trolls on Gary Vee’s LinkedIn who literally argue against everything he writes.  You got the “labelers,” who call themselves “CEO, founder, manager, and other ridiculously outlandish and egotistical titles, who berate Gary Vee with the most senseless antics and phrases imaginable.  Remedial yokels from another dimension.

A long time ago, I was holding a sign, peacefully, inside McCarran International airport when I was approached by a group of clowns…..those who call themselves “McDonalds Managers,” and one specific man said, “omg who prepped you?” It was like three back-to-back-to-back questions that sounded like 21 questions.  He did this because he wanted to have that managerial feel.  The feeling of superiority — and this is why Americans are so WAY-IN-OVER-THEIR-HEADS because they let titles, which don’t go to the grave with them, get to them.

You got the shady clubbing men who go to clubs in groups to stalk “prey” (yes, I’m saying that in a very mysogynistic way because they do treat women like objects).  After they make eye-contact with another one who’s trying to gain power over the other, he approaches him by saying, “wtf are you looking at?” Brawl happens; orbital bones are broken; people are slammed; concussions are given.

It’s head-scratching, isn’t it? Males, even here in Thailand, have a tendency of beating women.

“Well, getting everything they want is actually third on their list. First of all, being in control is number one on their list, and that’s emotionally satisfying. The second thing is the alpha type—which we refer to as “the assertive”—the one thing that’s more important to them than actually getting what they want is being respected and making sure that you know everything about what they’re coming from.” – Chris Voss

Excerpt From: Lewis Howes. “The Mask of Masculinity.” iBooks.

“That’s the lesson for me. You might think you’re the big tough alpha male, but you’re actually profoundly weak. It occurs to me that establishing “alphaness” is what drives a lot of outrageous behavior and needless mistakes. When I think about things like gang violence or terrorism or bar fights or abuse, all of them seem to trace back to this need to establish one’s presence or dominance or strength. All of these acts seem to be about men wanting to show off how alpha they are.” – Lewis Howes

You Can’t Win An Argument/The Big Secret of Dealing With People – Part II

This book, which I finished doing sometime last year, has really changed my entire perception on what I can do in regards to handling people, especially in ugly situations.  Here are a couple things I’ve encountered in my daily life over the past couple of months.

Now, I’m doing this two months later because I didn’t want to do it at the time.  One of my proud podcast listeners and I, who lives in America, got into a little bit of a dispute with me over a total miscommunication.

Let’s just put this in dumb-down English.  I told her to call me at a specific time and she called me at an opposite time before blaming me.

The conversation went something like this, “ummmmm I already got the information I needed, but I truly hope you don’t treat me like your Asian friends out there.”  That’s in a very nice tone…it was much uglier than that — of course — an eye-opening experience for myself.

This particular individual reached out to me in regards to teaching abroad, and given my charisma, decided to tell her to phone me from the other side of the planet so I can go over some details.  Well, I told her simply not to call me at night time (my time) and rather her time.  She got confused and then jumped out on me saying, “wait, you didn’t answer your phone because you were watching a movie?”  I said to MYSELF, “regardless if I was or wasn’t, you called me at the wrong time.”

Rather than her admitting that she was wrong, she hurled criticism at me.

Given the fact that this was one of my listeners, I reverted to the Dale Carnegie training manual.

You Can’t Win An Argument

“Why prove to a man he is wrong? Is that going to make him like you? Why not let him save his face? He didn’t ask for your opinion. He didn’t want it. Why argue with him? Always avoid the acute angle.” ”

Excerpt From: Dale Carnegie. “How to Win Friends & Influence People.” iBooks. https://itunes.apple.com/us/book/how-to-win-friends-influence-people/id1237723501?mt=11

Regardless if she was wrong or wasn’t, I now have a brand.  This brand is ultimately going to carry me to the greatest heights in my life because of the constant discipline and beating on my craft.  So while I was sitting on the massage table waiting to be ripped apart, I had a glimpse at how wrong this conversation can go.  How bad it can get and potentially dampen my reputation.

At that exact moment, I knew i was going to win the argument, although I was right.  So, I wrote something like this.

? I’m sorry if you feel that way, but I think this has gotten way blown out of proportion.  I do apologize if you feel that I’ve wasted your time, but there was a miscommunication that happened between us.

However, I’m very excited that you got the information needed to go further with your decision in terms of moving abroad.  Just know that the culture shock is all part of the process.  Everything you go through is going to be eye-opening, but embrace every bit of it.  I wish you the best!

After a full-day, she later responded with a four sentence reply.

There’s no way you can respond to a message like that in a incensed, animosity-filled rant.  She was clarified, dealt, and now that’s the end of it.

The best part about this is if I hadn’t read this wonderful book that was written more than a half a century ago, I would’ve gotten into a heated debate and it would’ve destroyed everything I’ve ever built up to this point.

Just recently I stopped working at a job where I’ve been for four years (and I’m so grateful I’ve left), but I remember getting into a heated debate with a British coordinator who is as pompous as they come.  Everything I’ve said, with proven facts, went in one ear and out the other.  This man, who came all the way to this southeast Asian country to marry a wife and escape his past, wanted to see an African American fail (or “black” man for the lack of better term), and he didn’t succeed – even though he sat there with his bland statistics (ancient way of trying to call someone out).

However, who wins in the end? Again, if I hadn’t known about this book, I would’ve went on a full-on rant and probably would’ve gotten fired.  This man, who has a rapidly deteriorating body, is soon to pass – given the fact that he’s almost 80 years old and still working for $13 an hour.  I have empathy for him, and I would be visibly upset with myself, too, for making the actions such as coming to a developing country in my lonesome.  This particular entry refers back to the Remember No One Ever Kicks A Dead Dog Podcast.

Anywho, these are the ways I handle situations.  From not trying to lose a potential podcast listener, to overcoming vindictive beings who are out to try and making other people’s lives miserable.

Podcast

Lewis Howes: The Know-It-All Mask – Introduction

“Have you ever noticed how people tend to fill the dead time in a conversation or a meeting by rambling on about some random topic? Have you ever watched someone you work with try to impress the people around them by going on a long rant about something you can’t even pronounce? Have you ever seen someone in an important setting suck the air out of the room by making it all about them? They always have a response, they can’t let anything go, and they have to show you how smart they are.”

Excerpt From: Lewis Howes. “The Mask of Masculinity.” iBooks.

Welcome to the Know-It-All Mask!

Not off the top of my head, but I’ve worked with quiet a few people in the past and present who can just ra-ra-ra the world with their impeccability of BS – LOL. It took me a while to think about it, but there were times I would be around individuals and they can talk about just a bunch of bs that would go on and on when I was in the midst of doing something.  Luckily towards the end of my tenures, I stopped talking to these particular beings, resulting in a lot of free-time.

One of my students, who was a brilliant speaker, said to me, “ummm teacher _________ knows a lot.  He knows everything.” Yeah, he knows everything so much that he doesn’t allow you to speak, huh?

Sometimes you do have to just take the seat in the back, as a teacher, and shut the heck up.

Now, I won’t put his name out there, but obviously there are a lot of entrepreneurs who just don’t shut up and listen, even when interviewing men who have amassed over 50 billion USD over their lifetime.  From philanthropists — to Hedgefund leaders — it just always seems that they need to be the center of attention.  We love talking, especially people who know a lot about everything, but there comes a time when you just have to be a listener.

I’ve done 8 podcast interviews, starting from last year, and I really just allow my guests to speak.  That’s the sole purpose of doing the interview…..you asking the questions and getting the best out of them, such as what Larry King does.  Larry King is a superb interviewer because all of his questions are so centered/focused on the person sitting across from him.

One of the funniest instances I had was four years ago.  I had to go to a meeting at a language center where the staff looked at me in more bad ways than one, and the owner of the language center looked down upon me for even more obvious reasons.  Anywho, I sat in a room with three teachers throwing ideas out there for an English camp, and when I came around to give my two cents (after asking to do so), a teacher by the name of Nicole ran all over me and shot me down.  She wanted to do ALL THE TALKING and then later told me that I tried talking too much during the meeting, although I counted 1-2 sentences in the 30-minute session.  She was absolutely one of those people who would run over me from left to right.  From the first day I met her at one of the worst English camps, to this particular one where the commute was much longer.

She was right about one thing.  I wasn’t changing my mindset about Thai women — and was losing fast.  That’s about it.  Having a strong personality like that around is unbelievably draining.

I need to get much better at listening, too.  I get easily distracted, but now I go back to the previous conversation and ask deeper questions.

“It’s like the line in Eleven Minutes by Paulo Coelho: “That’s what the world is like: People talk as if they know everything, but if you dare to ask a question, they don’t know anything.”
Here’s the thing: If we’re being honest with ourselves, then we’d admit that none of us know anything. I think Coelho would even agree that nobody really knows what the hell they are doing. We’re all just making it up as we go along. ”

Excerpt From: Lewis Howes. “The Mask of Masculinity.” iBooks.

Podcast

Lewis Howes: Invincible Mask – What Can You Do Right Now?

A lot of people do big things or risky things to get the attention of others.  Remember at the beginning I talked about one of my students’ brother who slammed into a pillar at high speeds, intoxicated and ultimately killing himself.  He was unrecognizable after it happened.  Before he got on his bike, he told everyone that he was safe to drive, although he was completely inebriated.  He was going welllll over the speed limit and resulted in him no longer being able to live.

A many of these “van” boys drive at top speeds with spoilers off, trying to get the attention of women on the streets.  This gives them that since of invincibility and that’s why Thailand, by percentage, has the highest traffic fatality in the WORLD.  These adrenaline junkies are always looking for the next thrill.

So what can you do? What if you stole, or do things that could question the law just to get the attention of women? More importantly, what’s available if you take off the mask?

A fulfilled and healthy life span
Deeper relationships
Self-esteem
True courage
The permission to just be and not constantly do
A sense of belonging

Ask yourself these questions

What is valuable to me?

Friendships.  That invincible mask that Billy had on — I had on, too.  I would treat my best friend Andre like crap over the years, and after my run yesterday, he spilled the beans on how I treated them from a “funny” aspect.  However, I didn’t look at it as funny.  I was embodying anger from when Billy use to treat me like crap, so I wanted to dish out those feelings, too.

Andre is everything to me.  The most valuable friendship I have today.  When he speaks, I absolutely listen and take thought to it.

What do I value about my life?

I honestly need to stop playing the “black” card, as the Irish teacher told me.  I love that he’s in my face about it, because he shows me how much of a magnificent being I can truly become.  This is why I love the fact that I am “different.”  Just last night I was thinking to myself, “oh man! Look at all of these anglo men in the picture of this company that sent me those jobs three days ago.  No wonder I can’t get the job!”  Self-doubt.  I still have that lingering deep within my bloodlines, and it’s something I need to address immediately.

What am I looking for in these activities?

Can I see the true value in friendships and myself?

Can I get those things elsewhere in my life?

Absolutely NOT.  Once I’m gone, I’m gone forever.

Additional Questions In The Podcast

 

Lewis Howes: Invincible Mask – Part IV

I have a very interesting story to speak about in regards  to my childhood best friend Billy.  Despite Billy calling me poor for a year or two, I was still his friend.

Billy lived in the “corner house” of my block.  Red hair, freckles, beautiful sister, young brother who would scream, fantastic mother and a questionable father.  Yes, questionable.  I won’t say it like that, but as a child I noticed things.  I noticed anger inside of him.  He didn’t speak much to the family.  His mother would always say, “your father is coming home so I need to cook and we need to have this house in perfect shape.”

I still remember the night between 1999-2000 when I heard a slam in their kitchen.  Bill had slammed the oven door and started to scream at Jo in regards to the food and she instantly started crying.  I ran home as quick as I can because….well my mother was already getting in full-fledge knife wars with my father.  I didn’t want to see that there and go home and see the same thing.

Later Bill apologized.  Nonetheless, this man was stacked with money.  Not sure what his job was, but Billy would have presents on top of presents on top of presents during the holidays, reducing me to tears of jealousy in the process.

Billy went on a hiatus in 2004 before showing up against in 2010.  His sister had become just a gorgeous 18-19-year-old, Billy was massive and his mother was still the most loving woman she’s always been.

Billy and I talked about those years in the backyard of his house for hours and he broke words about his fathers true intentions.  Although I won’t reveal what they were, let’s just say it was a humanity – type of company he was peddling in the foothills of Pahrump – the place he would go 95% of the month.  Now I understand where the money had come from.

I don’t know exactly what that mask was, but Billy wore it.  Billy war the “I have more money than you mask” in the year 2000.  He would call me poor constantly because his mother donated some 2nd-hand furniture to my mother so we can have a furnished downstairs.  I know, “that’s totally not a friend.”  He was maybe 9-years-old, so I won’t put it up against him completely.  However, after his father lost everything (blessing in disguise), Billy ended up being on my level.  He didn’t have food in the house.  He didn’t have those great holidays.  He didn’t have ANYTHING.  I never went back to rub it in his face, but he got a hard dose of reality, which he was actually dishing out to other people, including me.

He was no longer invincible.

I have and had gone through emotional health problems as a child.  I went through emotional withdrawals with my mother, my brother, and even my sisters.  I wasn’t taking care of myself for those early 2000’s, and then it finally caught up to me in 2003….the year I developed a lot of anger problems.

Lots of stories in the podcast down below.

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