Stephen Covey’s Action Plan on Trust

As promised in my podcast, this is the action plan with behaviors 1-13 and here’s an excerpt, along with the action plan, so you can figure out what needs to be done intrinsically.

In the beginning of this 13 behaviors section, I used a personal challenge for you to make this material highly relevant and actionable by identifying two relationships — one professional and one in personal — in which you wanted to build trust. I said that at the end of the section, I would give you the opportunity to look back, determine which two or three behaviors would make the greatest difference, and create an action plan to create change.

Well, here we are. If you didn’t do it before, I encourage you to do it now. This is where you can make decisions that will build trust, that will transform taxes into dividends, that will improve your relationships with two people, and — geometrically — with many others, as well.

Many people find it helpful to use a chat such as this one below. If this approach works for you, I suggest you start with one relationship. Go over the behaviors. Mark on the continuum where you think you are now with regard to each one. Then go back and circle the two or three behaviors that you feel will make the greatest positive difference.

Identify one or two next steps for each of those behaviors to create change. You may want to use one of the Trust Tips at the end of each chapter, or you may come up with something that will work better in your situation. The key is to make the steps actionable and to make and keep a commitment to yourself to do them.

Then go back and do the same for the second relationship you chose.

As you create your plan, keep in mind that the quickest way to make a withdrawal is to violate a behavior or character; the quickest way to make a deposit is to demonstrate a behavior of competence. This may help you in determining how to most quickly build trust in your situation.

If you prefer to use a different approach to implementation, that’s fine. However, you may still want to look at the chart. It will give you an overview of all 13 Behaviors, including their opposites and counterfeits. It’s a good way to capture a vision of the way high-trust leaders interact with others.

Stephen Covey
BehaviorCurrent PerformanceOpposite/
Counterfeit
Talk Straight___/____/____/____/____/Lie, spin, tell half
truths
Demonstrate
Respect
___/____/____/____/____/Don’t care or don’t
show you care.
Create
Transparency
___/____/____/____/____/Withhold information;
keep secrets;
Right Wrongs___/____/____/____/____/Don’t admit or
repair mistakes
Show Loyalty___/____/____/____/____/Sell others out; take the credit
yourself
Deliver
Results
___/____/____/____/____/Fail to deliver
on activities.
Get Better___/____/____/____/____/Deteriorate; don’t
invest in improvement
Confront
Reality
___/____/____/____/____/Bury your head in the sand;
focus on busywork
Clarify
Expectations
___/____/____/____/____/Assume expectations
or don’t disclose them.
Practice
Accountability
___/____/____/____/____/Don’t take responsibility.
Listen First___/____/____/____/____/Don’t listen; speak first, listen
last.
Keep
Commitments
___/____/____/____/____/Break commitments;
violate promises.
Extend Trust___/____/____/____/____/Withhold trust;
fake trust and then
snoopervise.

Practicing Accountability

Practicing accountability. Man, how hard is it to be accountable for other people’s actions? I mean, it’s easy to say “hey, you’re not performing on the job. Please get your act together!” But if you’re selling and getting clients, but you never come through because you don’t have the teachers to deliver the results….you LOSE!

Old Job Marketing Executive

Ok, old job and a guy by the name of WHO CARES is great at telling the clients what they want to hear. He gets an enormous amount of clients around BKK. However, because he works for a language center that lacks the teachers that can deliver results, his reputation and capabilities take a significant hit.

That’s like most NBA/NFL franchises. They promise the world, salaries, help, championships, but they never deliver to those individuals who they promise. This is when you make a bad name for yourself.

At some stage of my career, I’m going to probably have to employ staff (teachers), but this really scares the hell out of me because I know most aren’t capable of getting the job done. That’s why I would love to hold my own workshops, create my own courses, deliver all the materials by myself.

This behavior is built on the principles of accountability, responsibility, stewardship, and ownership. The opposite of this behavior is to not take responsibility, to not own up, but rather to say, “It’s not my fault.” Its counterfeit is to point fingers and blame others, to say, “It’s their fault.”

Podcast

Speed of Trust: Season 4 – Episode 37 – Demonstrating Trust Part III – Tips

Think back to some of the researched. Why is it that only 29 percent of employees believe that management cares about them developing their skills? Why is it that only 42 percent believe that management cares about them at all? In too many cases, though management might talk about it, fundamentally, management does not behave in ways that demonstrate respect, and as a result, employees don’t trust management.

And what is the impact on speed and cost? When employees believe their managers really don’t care, how willing are they to give their best? To be innovative? To collaborate? On the other hand, how quick are employees to complain? Criticize? Strike?

Stories in Podcast

  • Present work story about director not caring
  • Employee getting a free pass for no-call, no-show

Trust Tips

Apply the “waiter” rule to yourself in terms of how you treat people at work and at home. Do you like what you see? If not, focus on improving your intent?

Think about specific things you can do to show others you care about them. Call people. Write thank-you notes. Give acknowledgement. Send emails of concern. Try to do something each day to put a smile on someone’s face–even if that someone is the janitor in the building where you work. Don’t let there be a gap between how you feel and what you do.

Never take relationships for granted — particularly relationships with loved ones, family, and friends. Avoid the common tendency to put more energy into new relationships and assume that people in existing relationships know you care. There is probably a greater need for demonstrations of concern in existing relationships than in new relationships.

The basis of this is to genuinely care for others. Show you care. Respect the dignity of every person and every role. Treat everyone with respect. Show kindness. Don’t fake caring. Don’t attempt to be “efficient” with people.

Stephen Covey: Season 4 – Episode 32 – Second Wave – Relationship Trust

Welcome back to another blog, people! We’re getting into another phase of Stephen Covey’s Speed of Trust, and this one is going to be a very enticing one. It’s time to start getting into the relationship aspect of things and breakdown what behaviors are.

The truth is that in every relationship — personal and professional — what you do has far greater impact than anything you say. You can say you love someone — but unless you demonstrate that love through your actions, your words become meaningless. You can say you want to engage in win-win negotiation — but unless your behavior shows that you really mean it, you will come across as insincere. You can say your company puts the customer first. You can say that you recognize people as your most important asset. However, unless you actually do them, your words will not build trust; in fact, they will destroy it.

 

You have to build it. A lot of people ask “how can I do it.”

Well, remember the caring person thing? If you’re not a caring person now — but you desire to be a caring person — then go out and behave in caring ways.

It may take time, but you have to take the initiative.

Building Trust Accounts

Remember my famous blog “the Emotional Bank Account?” Yeah, these are similar to what Sean Covey’s dad had written about in his book 30 years ago. Let’s go over them.

Each Trust Account is unique

Recognizing uniqueness can help you build each account more effectively. A 12-year-old’s account will be astonishingly different from a mid-20’s guy.

All deposits and withdrawals are not created equal.

Often the little things can be disproportionately large. Getting an email from someone about a natural disaster or some type of imminent danger would be much different from forgetting your partner’s birthday.

What constitutes a “deposit” to one person may not to another.

I had a situation rise that was similar to this. One of my friend’s thought staying out late would be a deposit if I’m bonding with other people, but I considered that to be a significant withdrawal.

Listen to “Stephen Covey: Season 4 – Episode 32 – Second Wave – Relationship Trust” on Spreaker.

Stephen Covey’s Speed of Trust: Season 4 – Episode 23 – The Final ‘S’ in Tasks

The biggest questions of a lifetime for business owners. You know, I was thinking about the time Jack Ma had to fire employees because of the problems he was having with Ali Baba. Through what Napoleon Hill has said, “Applied Faith,” he was able to see things through and work his way out of the rut, making a billion (and soon-to-be trillion) dollar empire. Here are your questions.

The biggest questions of a lifetime for business owners. You know, I was thinking about the time Jack Ma had to fire employees because of the problems he was having with Ali Baba. Through what Napoleon Hill has said, “Applied Faith,” he was able to see things through and work his way out of the rut, making a billion (and soon-to-be trillion) dollar empire. Here are your questions.

  • How effective is your current style in approaching problems and opportunities and interacting with others?
  • Does your approaching facilitate or get in the way of accomplishing what needs to be done?
  • What can you do to improve the way in which you go about doing things?

Lots of ideas came to mind about how well I handle situations. Room for improvement is wide-open, and I need to start feeling things gaps ASAP.

I can get considerably better when it comes to approaching problems. Example, there was an issue at an old job whereas a guy called me out in a number of ways. I shouldn’t have taken that lightly, and even more, I could’ve forwarded the emails and voice messages he had sent me to the owner. Regardless, because he’s white in a very pro-white country, he would’ve gotten a free-pass. But allowing people to get away with unruly behavior is even worse.

When it comes to interacting with others, I’m almost certain that I do an incredible job in that area because that’s one of my strongest points. I pick up energy signals very easily, and this is very important because if people come to me with jobs, I should be able to point them in the right direction of a good teacher, rather than one that would just tarnish my reputation.

An example would be a new employee (or new ones every week) at my job on the weekend. It’s none of my business, but because I’m good at picking up energy, there’s one specific new teacher that has “HORRIBLE” written all over him. If you guys listened/read my blogs from early last year, you’ll know exactly what I’m talking about. I don’t give a second look or anything to these teachers. I don’t introduce myself because they’ve been the bane of my existence here. If they’re not someone who has ideas or anything, why even bother? Most of them complain or say some very sick things that pertains to under-age girls (yeah, welcome to Thailand). So, OQP (Only Quality People).

That’s in the world of business.

When it comes to my entrepreneurial world, I can seriously learn to get better at appropriating time slots for when I should be on social media. I feel if I leave notifications on all day, I can lose maybe 1-1.5 hours. So, as of today, I’ve turned them off and they’ve helped me considerably. The only messages I receive are of importance from my graphic designer. Facebook messages in the morning while commuting (anytime while commuting) is enough. Other apps at the same time. No FB at home or during my core hours.

This is how you can identify what’s working and what isn’t….so I suggest all of you do the same with the questions above!

Podcast

Stephen Covey’s Speed of Trust: Season 4 – Episode 22 – The K in Tasks

Welcome back to another Stephen Covey blog with lots of explanations! Here are some questions for you to answer.

What is your current level of knowledge in your specific field?

What are you doing to NOT stay current?

What other areas of knowledge are you pursuing?

So, lately I’ve been having some hot sweats — hot sweats of the feelings I used to feel doing things that I absolutely hated to do. 2004, a year where I was DEAD BORED with school. 2005, watching TV all day long and not learning a damn things while saturating myself with sports and other things to keep me busy and away from making rash decisions.

Hell, even when I lived in Australia, or on those boring Saturdays and Sundays off from work…..it was a life of misery, while I was going to college.

Throughout my life, I was never asked about my purpose. I was never asked “do you really like what you’re doing?”

Karen Mulcahy, an ex-university professor, asked me “why do you want to become a dental assistant?”

I replied, “well, I’ve never had a nice smile and I would love to change others smiles because that’s the first thing we see.

First part was wrong, I’ve always had a nice smile, excluding my bottom incisors. However, I didn’t have the ability to change smiles as a dental assistant.

As a dental assistant, what could I have done to improve my knowledge and skills? Oh, ok…let me learn the different types of softwares related to the dental field and possible get paid more.

Get paid more….and then?

It was a dead-end job from the beginning and I was able to escape the rat race of just saying, “let me just making money for the weekend and travel twice a year…enjoy my life only twice a year before going back to a horrendous career.”

Some of you are in that career right NOW! Doing the same tasks and hating your life. I’m inviting you to take the leap.

For those of you who have already made the leap, ask yourself your questions about your specific field.

I was just having a conversation with another English Language tutor, and she said she wanted to go back to university to learn about business, reading, and writing — three things that I’ve learned ON MY OWN. The information is everywhere. I improved my knowledge of subjects taught out here in Thailand and was paid more for doing so.

That was 4 years ago. Since then, the amount of knowledge I have now is unbelievable and continuing to increase.

Don’t Stay Current

You stay current and you will lose. Apple has taken catastrophic hits. Sure, 245 billion in hard cash, but they’re now #3 in the world because they’re no longer innovating and hiking prices even more…with the same functions. This is a dead company.

If you’re not looking 5-10 years ahead and not innovating, you will fall way behind.

The areas I continue pursuing is insight and revelation. I want to continue learning and learning from people as much as possible because i know with experiences and collaboration brings some of the greatest heights of anyone’s life. That will be talked about in another blog, but please take these questions into account and start jotting down ideas.

Listen to “Stephen Covey’s Speed of Trust: Season 4 – Episode 22 – The K in Tasks” on Spreaker.

Stephen Covey’s Speed of Trust: Season 4 – Episode 20 – The A in Tasks

Here’s the blog on the A in TASKS.

Let’s kick it off with important questions.

  • What are your attitudes about work?
  • ABout life?
  • About learning?
  • About yourself, your capabilities, and your opportunities to contribute?
  • Are there more productive attitudes and paradigms I could embrace that would help me create better results?

Huge questions for everyone to ask themselves.  See, the majority of us have a poor attitude about work.  Let me give you an example.  At the beginning of 2018, I was shoulder-shrugging my old job off.  I would go into my classes and not put ANYTHING into my lessons because one, I knew I was gone.  Two, my students weren’t putting any effort into what I was trying to teach them, so why would I even try?

Poor attitude, right? Sure….I was aware of it, but I was a month away from resigning and finally, that was the end.

However, I get paid about 15% less at the job I’m at right now.  Do I have that same attitude? Nope. Why? Because I love what I do.  I have clients around Bangkok that pay far more, so why would I still work at a place that’s unworthy of me, my purposes in life, and my goals? Because I love my students.

It’s not about the money….everything is about perception.

Are you ambitious about learning? I constantly buy new English learning books everyday to help better not only my teachings, but my students who receive the information.

I’m proactive about contributing, thus why I have a podcast that I’ve been paid only once in the past 3 years (and it just came a week ago).  I’m giving out this information essentially for free, but also paying to give it out.  See, it’s all about perspective.

Let’s look at some changes to our language.

It’s all about reactive versus proactive, right?

I have to go to work             or              I’m genuinely excited to go to work. 

I work like crazy and live for the weekends. 

or

I have a balanced life in which work, recreation, and rich relationships are all important parts. 

 

Stephen Covey’s Speed of Trust: Season 4 – Episode 19 – The T in Tasks

Yes! The Stephen Covey blogs are back, and I’m super excited to present you today with the T in Tasks. Now, some of you are probably asking “what is the acronym “tasks?”

Well let’s get into it.

Talents are natural gifts and strengths. Attitudes represent our paradigms — our ways of seeing, as well as our ways of being. Skills are our proficiencies, the things we can do well. Knowledge represents our learning, insight, understanding, and awareness. Style represents our unique approach and personality.

There are all parts of what we call our capabilities. They are our means to produce results. By breaking them down into these components, we are able to more fully explore them, both independently and interdependently.

Stephen Covey

Talents: What are your unique strengths or talents? What is the highest and best use of your talents? How can you better maximize the talents you have? What talents might you have not developed yet?

Mine? Making people laugh, speaking to people, and influencing.

Did I know before that I had these talents? No. I was a shy, timid kid in 9th grade of high school that had ZERO speaking abilities. I ended up spending time with one of the funniest people I’ve ever met, and of course, I became what he was. I began making people laugh. I started to speak to people without fear. However, Australia put a huge dent in everything because being in a society where everyone is stone-faced (sorry, Aussies), it was difficult for me to be myself. I thought no one liked me. I thought I had too much personality.

It wasn’t until the magnificent Thailand, a country that believed that I was a disgusting, black criminal, when I got back into the driver’s seat of my life and developed my personality into the infectious and radiating sunlight it is today (well, maybe not that amazing…but you get the point).

So, over to you.

 

Stephen Covey’s Speed of Trust: Season 4 – Episode 18 – Core III – Capabilities Part II

So, this is a follow-up of what I’ve already written and talked about on my previous blog post. Let’s look at some of the people I’ve come across.

You could be the individual who has enormous capabilities, but be lacking in integrity, intent, or results.

For instance, you might have tremendous potential….and it remains just that — potential.

Let me give you a few examples.

There was a colleague I worked for who had a Masters in Business and Finance, yet he was in Thailand. It didn’t make much sense. Honestly, he was one of the most brilliant minds I’ve ever come across and gave me the original idea to start doing a podcast…..but he was never walking his own walk.

Another individual, who my content writer is in talks with (and has been for a while) has an insane amount of potential, is extremely smart, and the sky’s the limit….but she lacks self-trust and dooms everything right out of the gates.

Kenny, an ex-colleague at the College of Southern Nevada, was SOOO unbelievably smart. He knew about investments and anything you could ever imagine…yet, just worked as a slave in the front office of a dental faculty practice. An UNBELIEVABLY ENORMOUS AMOUNT OF POTENTIAL….but never walked his walk.

Guys and gals, capabilities mean everything in this globalizing and technologically advanced world. We’re outdating skill-sets faster than ever before. So you need to ask yourself some questions.

  • What capabilities do you have that make you credible and that inspire the trust and confidence in others.
  • What experience have you had (or not had) in developing capabilities that affects the confidence you have in yourself?
  • What impact are factors such as technology and globalization having on the relevance of your current capabilities.
  • What is your attitude and approach toward improving your current capabilities and gaining new ones?

Listen to “Stephen Covey’s Speed of Trust: Season 4 – Episode 18 – Core III – Capabilities Part II” on Spreaker.

 

Stephen Covey’s Speed of Trust: Season 4 – Episode 16 – Choose Abundance

Abundance means that there is enough for everybody. The opposite –scarcity — says that there is only so much to go earound, and if you get it, I won’t. While scarcity may be a reality in some areas (such as competitive sports or forced grading curves), in most of the important things in life – such as love, success, energy, results, and trust — abundance is not only a reality, it is an attractor and generator of even more.

Stephen Covey’s Speed of Trust

Extremely hard to believe, huh? I just went through a breakup, and although it feels like I have moved on, I’m not accepting that the other half has moved on, too. It’s almost as if I don’t want her to move on. It’s almost if I want her to regret making the decision to move on.

Ridiculous, huh?

Back in 2009, and with the last probably REAL relationship I had, I did everything it took to be ahead of her — to act more happy and everything would eventually follow. She got into a rebound relationship, and because I still hadn’t moved on at the time, I was crushed. Beyond belief.

Abundance, in terms of love, is something that is very hard for me to see. However, the other areas are definitely everywhere around us.

Questions

  • Do I believe that if i love other people, my own supply of love will be replenished — or diminished?
  • Do I believe that there’s room for other people to see things differently than I do…..and still be right?
  • Do I believe that, whatever my economic circumstances, I can share with and benefit others?

I love this following story about Oprah Winfrey.

Some role models show us clearly that whatever our past experience — even if it includes a painful and unfair childhood — we can rescript ourselves to create abundance in our lives and in the lives of others.

Consider Oprah Winfrey, who was raised in rural Mississippi by her grandparents and abused by a relative as a youth. She chose to reframe her circumstances and rise above them.

 

“I don’t think of myself as a poor deprive ghetto girl who made good. I think of myself as somebody who from an early age knew I was responsible for myself, and i had to make good.”

 

“You should not be satisfied with being a victim, nor with being a survivor. You should aim to be a conqueror. there is an extraordinary quality of spirit that leads one to aspire to conquering rather than surviving. I hope you discover that spirit in yourself.”

Stephen Covey

These powerful role models serve us as powerful practitioners.

Listen to “Stephen Covey’s Speed of Trust: Season 4 – Episode 16 – Choose Abundance” on Spreaker.