Stephen Covey’s Speed of Trust: Season 4 – Episode 3 – The Five Waves of Trust

Stephen Covey posted in the book what I THOUGHT was AMAZING! Let’s break it down.

Five years ago I was working with some associates in a small group and they loved the approach: “We love this leadership content! It’s right on! But our division leaders don’t understand this.  They are the ones who really need to hear it.”

After that, he presented the content to the division leaders: we’re in full agreement with everything you’re saying.  This approach is GREAT! The problem is that the people who really need it are our bosses.”

He went to the bosses…..and again…..”We are enthusiastic about this content! It’s very insightful and helpful.  But our counterparts in the five divisions don’t understand this.  They are the ones who need to hear it.”

It went on and on, as you can see.  Finally, after probably 7-8 presentations, there was the CEO.

“This content is great, but I’m powerless.  I can do nothing.  It’s all in the hands of the board.”

His father once said, “if you think the problem is out there, that very thought is the problem.”

People, just because there are trust issues in your workplace, to your personal life, it doesn’t mean you’re powerless!  In fact, you probably have no idea how powerful you can be in changing the level of trust in any relationship if you know how to work “from the inside out.”

The First Wave: Self Trust

The first wave deals with us.  Our ability to set and achieve goals, to keep commitments, to walk our talk — and also with our ability to inspire trust in others.

The key underlying principle of this trust is credibility, the four cores we’ll be getting into shortly.

So, when you’re not able to keep your commitments, as mentioned before, you lose integrity, credibility, trust, and so many other things.

The Second Wave: Relationship Trust

Trust accounts. Period.  We will go over the 13 behaviors coming up real soon, and all of these rules can be applied either at home or work.  This can significantly increase the ability to generate trust with all involved in order to enhance relationships.

The Third Wave; Organizational Trust

How leaders can deal with trust.  Gary Vee and Tom Bilyeau were recently speaking on a podcast about trust issues and changing from the top.  If you have trust issues amongst the bottom, imagine what’s happening at the top? I worked for a guy in the heart of CBD and he told the guy below him, “don’t let Arsenio teach TOEIC because the students don’t like black teachers.”  He was against it, ofcourse.  Now I’m writing ebooks on TOEIC because I knew what my strength was.  Sometimes distrust can spell STRENGTH.

The Fourth Wave: Market Trust

This is about your company/personal brand, which reflects the trust customers, investors, and others in the marketplace have in you.

Now that I’m building a personal brand with my ESL podcast and blogs, if and when I start teaching through my business, my name is everything. If my name is attached to thievery and distrust, it’s over. I lose.

The Fifth Wave: Societal Trust

The principle underlying this wave is contribution.  This is why I’m doing my Arsenio Buck Foundation.  We counteract this “giving back” with suspicious, cynicism, and low-trust inheritance. We can also inspire others to create value and contribute, as well.

So, I’ll first talk about restoring trust, seeking, speaking, behaving, and then we’ll kick off the first wave.

Podcast – https://www.spreaker.com/show/arsenio…

Podcast on iTunes – https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/t…

Podcast on Stitcher – https://www.stitcher.com/podcast/arse…

Podcast on SoundCloud – https://soundcloud.com/arsenio-buck/g…

YouTube – https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCIzp…

Facebook – The Arsenio Buck Show – Home | Facebook

Twitter – https://twitter.com/arseniobuckshow?l…

Instagram – https://www.instagram.com/thearseniob…

Website – https://thearseniobuckshow.com/

Q & A – ArsenioBuck@icloud.com

LinkedIn – https://www.linkedin.com/in/arsenio-b…

Instagram – https://www.instagram.com/thearseniobuckshow/?hl=en

Podcast

The Speed of Trust: Season 4 – Episode 1 -Low/High Trust Relationships

So, before we get into the basis of it all, let’s first try outline some of the frustrations we have on a daily basis.

  • I can’t stand the politics at work.  I feel sabotaged by my peers.  It seems like everyone is out for himself and will do anything to get ahead. 

  • I’ve really been burned in the past.  How can I ever trust anyone enough to have a real relationship?

  • I work in an organization that’s bogged down with bureaucracy.  It takes forever to get anything done.  I have to get authorization to buy a pencil!

  • The older my children get, the less they listen to me.  What can I do?

  • I feel like my contributions at work are hardly ever recognized or valued.  

  • I foolishly violated the trust of someone who was supremely important to me.  If I could hit “rewind” and make the decision differently, I would do it in a heartbeat. But I can’t.  Will I ever be able to rebuild the relationship?

  • I have to walk on eggshells at work.  If I say what I really think, I’ll get fired…or at least made irrelevant. 

  • My boss micromanages me and everyone else at work.  He treats us all like we can’t be trusted. 

  • With all the scandals, corruption, and ethical violations in our society today, I feel like someone has pulled the rug out from under me.  I don’t know what — or who — to trust anymore.  

In all of these situations, you CAN do something.  Look, you’ve heard the storm on a number of occasions in terms of what happened between my family and I.  I was the bigger man and decided to message my mother a couple years later.  Did she show any signs of gratitude when she got a message from me? No.  Furthermore, I messaged the siblings, whose relationships are beyond dilapidation, and there was no remorse.  There’s no way they can instill trust in me again and they would much rather have a bulk of anger.  That’s a decision that they will have to live with for the rest of their lives.  I TRIED doing something, but it takes two to tango at times.

SImply put, trust means confidence.  The opposite of trust is distrust and suspicious.

I want you to think right now of someone who you have a high-trust relationship with — perhaps a boss, coworker, parent, sibling, best friend.  What’s it like? How does it feel? How well do you communicate with them? How quickly can you get things done? How much do you enjoy this relationship?

Now

Think of a person with whom you have a low-trust relationship.  Again, it could be any of the nouns above.  How does it feel? How is the communication? Does it flow quickly and freely? Or do you feel like you’re constantly walking on landmines and being misunderstood? Do you enjoy this relationship? Or do you find it draining?

Podcast

 

Napoleon Hill: Lesson Eight – The Habit of Doing More Than Paid For

A man is most efficient and will more quickly and easily succeed when engaged in work that he loves, or work that he performs in behalf of some person whom he loves.

Here’s the introduction to one of the most important, life-long lessons that so many of you probably lack in life.  Here’s one of the best stories of my life.

In late 2015, I was approached by my boss at my respective job.  She had already set up some conversation/presentation workshops, which I ran accordingly.  Because it was a massive success, students began to ask about developing a conversation course.

A lot of teachers, especially those historical British teachers, don’t believe in conversation as a tool of success; nor do they approve it as a course.  I had to constantly battle and take a lot of slack from people saying, “this isn’t an academic course,” but confidence is the ultimate success tool for communication, right?

After shrugging off a lot of meaningless comments and naysayers, my boss gave me the green light to create a course using some books and materials.  So, I did.

Step Number 1: You Will Take Losses In The Beginning, But The Returns Are Unbelievable

Because the conversation course had a 2$ less payout, 95% of the teachers refused it at the beginning.  I was adamant and infuriated because  some teachers, who would’ve done a good job teaching conversation, didn’t want to teach it because they didn’t get the full amount in the beginning.

I laughed about this because I had already read about “doing more than what you’re paid for,” and I knew it would come back and bite them.  Went work got scarce, they came crawling back trying to accept any class that was thrown at them and I said NO. You denied it in the beginning; however, now that work is slow, you want to cover your ass? Ugh, not today.

I, being the lead person of this course, had to formulate a group of teachers, a couple of which failed to deliver the expectations because of their lackadaisical teaching.  You don’t necessarily have to have the gift of the gab, but you have to love teaching.  A lot of teachers in Thailand don’t give a damn about teaching.

After weeding out the foolishness and the incompetence, I created a course, through persistence and little pay, that generated millions of baht over the course of the year.  I made shy, timid students – absolute stars in this respective area.

Get this, creating a course that has generated millions….I only received 0.00005% of that.  However, now I have a podcast, which was created at the same time, that’s listened to over 70 countries.  I did far more than what I was paid to do, but the law of increasing returns returned in the grandest of fashions.  This is how life works.

Podcast

Jack Canfield – Just Say No

You don’t have to let yourself be terrorized by other people’s expectations of you.” – Sue Patton Thoele.

Let me be frank, this world is a highly competitive place. There are hundreds of thousands of people competing in fields just as I am writing this, so more and more concentration is needed everyday just to stay focused and complete those daily tasks to pursue the longer-term goals, right?

We can be reached just about any day at any time in the technological word. I’m talking by email, text, fax, cell phone, social media.  If you’re not at an office or busy, people will leave messages or maybe would even use call waiting.

Your kids will want things, coworkers might need help when it’s their responsibility to finish, boss wants you to do extra shifts, sister wants  you to keep an eye on the kids…..I can go on and on.

Simply put…we take on a heck of a lot more than we can comfortably deliver.

I, myself, don’t have this problem – yet.  In the future, I will definitely need a personal assistant.  For the meantime, you guys just have to say no.

I had a colleague before get asked a favor and he said no very frankly. I thought it was blatantly rude, but most successful people out there would say “no” and that’s it.

In the future, when you’re peddling the business, you’re going to have to eliminate those activities, requests, and other time-stealers in its entirety that don’t have the highest payoff.

For example, Jack Canfield has his “don’t do” policy….

  • I don’t give endorsements for books of fiction.
  • I don’t schedule more than five talks in one month.
  • I no longer coauthor books with first-time authors.  Their learning curve is too time-consuming and expensive.
  • I don’t take any calls on Tuesday and Thursdays.  Those are writing or product development days.
  • I don’t lend my books to other people.  They rarely come back, and they are the source of my livelihood, so I don’t lend them out.
  • I don’t lend money.  I am not a bank. (THE TRUTH!!!!)
  • I don’t discuss charitable contributions over the phone.  Send me something in writing.

Say No To The Good So That You Can Say Yes To The Great

An incredible example to this is I was actually denied a job teaching a test preparation course called (TOEIC) at a particular place years ago because the owner was scared the students would complain that I was black.

Shortly after, the boss underneath him approached me and said, “hey, I got you in for the course. Can you still do it”

“No.”

image1

Months later, I ended up teaching TOEIC in front of 100 students on a crazy excursion and have had bigger projects whereas I’ve taught 300 at one time.

Is this your situation – constantly chasing after mediocre prospects or pursuing misguided, racial schemes for success when you could be holding at bay opportunities for astounding achievement?

Jack Canfield – “Instead of dedicating yourself – and your time – to mundane, nonproductive, time-stealing activities, imagine how rapidly you would reach your goals and improve your life if you said no to those time-wasting activities and instead focused on the 20% of activity that would bring you the most benefit.”

How Can You Determine What’s Truly Great, So You Can Say No To What’s Merely Good?

1. Start by listing your opportunities – one side of the page for good and the other side for great.

2. Talk to advisors about this potential new pursuit.

3. Test the waters. Rather than just take a leap of faith that the new opportunity will proceed as you expect, conduct a small test, spending limited about of time and money.

4. And finally, look at where you spend your time.