The Arsenio Buck Foundation: Protect Children In Southeast Asia + Giving Speeches In Impoverished Communities In America

All right, I’ve had enough with seeing old foreigners take advantage of slum kids.  The fact that I was just at work last Friday, looking at a completely disoriented foreigner with goggles on his face kissing a 16-year-old student without anyone speaking up is appalling.  Do immigration officers, police, or security guards even approach the couple? Of course not.  It’s a shoulder shrug and, “don’t worry; white man have good intentions” saying in Thai.

I spoke up about it with an employees and her body language explains the problem of why this country’s children are suffering from insidious foreigners.

So, Arsenio….what are you going to do? I’ve heard you talk about this before.  It’s a bigger issue.  It’s a terminal issue.  It’s a government issue in even letting them travel outside their countries, let alone getting inside Thailand to commit sex acts against humanity.  This problem is much bigger than you.

It is.  I agree.

But looking and bearing in mind how discombobulated the school system is with educating kids on culture rather than survival skills is completely intolerable.

Intolerable.  A word that I’ve spoken extensively back in my last Chapter of Napoleon Hill’s ‘Law of Success.” This country, just like America growing tolerant of the use of guns – known as human killing machines, has a very dark, underlying problem that’s plaguing not only the current generation, but the future generations, too.

In saying that, what if I can develop a curriculum or type of conference/awareness (with another Thai actor or actress) that will bring awareness to the vice that that not only foreigners bring, but people within Thailand.  How about I go on a country tour, just as I would do in the likes of Laos, Myanmar, Indonesia, and ESPECIALLY CAMBODIA, bringing awareness, disciplinary skills in case they’re approached by particular individuals, and knowing what to do when they feel unsafe.

Developing real-life situations when students of all ages can guard themselves against predators.

Moving forward, I just don’t want to focus on the negative, but also planting ideas in the minds of our young youth around the world – saying, “hey, you can make a change by being the change.”

Welcome to my non-profit organization.

Podcast

Lewis Howes: Aggressive Mask – Introduction

Imagine the moments before a fight.  One of the biggest fights that I’ve ever watched had to be Tito Trinidad vs. Ricardo Mayorga.  This was big on so many levels because it was the Puerto Ricans versus the Nicaraguans.  At one point in one of the rounds, Ricardo Mayorga began taunting Trinidad and there was an uproar in the house, people literally screaming at the television.  At the specific moment I couldn’t hear a word that was being said by my friend and he was standing six inches from me.

Fast-forwarding to a fight when Miguel Cotto got pummelled by Antonio Margarito.  I remember seeing the state of Miguel’s face and wondered, “how does he look that bad?”  Later, Margarito’s trainer was seen by Shane Mosley’s camp — putting plaster into the gloves of Antonio.  If you guys don’t know the horrific story of Billy Collins, this is exactly what probably took place during the Miguel Cotto fight.  Plaster, after being consumed and inundated with sweat, begins to harden.  Miguel said during the fight, “he got stronger as the rounds went on.”  There’s no real evidence, but we all know the truth.

That was from 2004, to 2008, and then after seeing interviews by boxing greats such as Evander Holyfield, Riddick Bowe, Thomas Hearns….I couldn’t understand a word that was being said from their mouths.  Why? They lost more than 50% of their speaking capabilities because the constant blows to the head.

So after seeing everything take place the way it did over decades of being a boxing fan, I no longer supported the sport.  Human beings literally raging in the stands, shouting, cheering on an assault between two men or two women.

Welcome to the aggressive mask.

Andy Cona, who’s a British cage fighter, said this…

“The first fight I ever had was like a release. Like, “I’m allowed to hit this lad, and it’s making me feel better.” See, I don’t have a family. Me and my brother were put into [foster] homes. He was everything—he was my mom, my dad, my brother, and my sister. He was everyone, and then he killed himself. I’ve never, ever told anyone that. I don’t like to show people weakness. I’m broken inside, I know I am.”

Lewis Howes went on to say, “but still, there’s something scary about taking years of childhood issues and pain and channeling them outward at a total stranger for money and fame. As Andy’s story reveals, for the most part, the pain you inflict on others never reduces the pain you are trying to escape from within yourself.”

If you look at the majority of athletes, especially in America, they’re all inner-city kids.  Mike Tyson had a horrendous childhood and be brought along a lot of those problems outside the ring, becoming a very polarizing character in the 1990’s.

Thai prison systems, which are very controversial, has inmates practice Muay Thai and fight – fighters outside the prison yard.

What is it with aggressiveness and pouring on all your childhood pain, mistakes, and suffering onto another individual rather than honing into 100%?  Sure, no one asked to be molested.  I didn’t deserve to be dropped at a doorstep myself in 1999…however, it happened.  Did I make that my story to why I’m such a “f*** up?” No.

Ray Lewis, who had upbringings beyond comprehension, is the greatest linebacker to ever play the position in the NFL.  Fierce, ferocious, tenacity, inspirational, hungry, and just a demon on the field……he was able to unleash his childhood tribulations into wrestling first (in high school), then onto the football field.  His mother was abused for a long time by her bf….and Ray Lewis asked, “mom, you have two black eyes! Let’s go!”

She said, “no.  He’s our only means of financial stability. We can’t leave.”

Ray Lewis used a deck of cards to relieve himself of so much pain by doing pushups.  1-10; jacks, queens and kings are ten; ace 11; and jokers were I think 11-21.  I’m not sure what the exact number is, but I’m sure he did over 300 pushups.

At 41, he said this in Lewis Howes podcast interview.

“There are certain moments in a child’s life that a father should never miss because when you replace [that influence], most of the time you replace it with things that get you in trouble. I replaced it with dominance over another individual. I had hate for my father, and that hate turned into fuel. I don’t encourage anybody to live the way I lived.” – Ray Lewis

It’s like young men don’t have an outlet to their anxiety, anger or other things.  I saw the students, when I was a student, sit in class and stay quiet while they were getting bullied by other aggressive kids.  Then the shooting massacre in Colorado happened in 1999.  I was listening to Gary Vee yesterday and he was saying that poor parenting results in bullies and children being bullied.  Why do children have this aggressiveness that generates into an Alpha Mask.  Stories of Ariece, P’Allen, and Marcos (childhood classmates) will be in my podcast down below! Time to welcome in this introduction!

Podcast

Terry Crews’ Section In Tribe of Mentors Struck A Nerve

Voluntary Relationships

Terry Crews, in his excerpt in Tim Ferris’ ‘Tribe of Mentors, said something that really struck me.  He said all his relationships must be voluntary.  If his wife wanted to leave him, so be it.  Grandparents and family members suddenly don’t want to call him anymore, ok.  However, he said the same thing should work for him, too.  If he doesn’t want to be friends with someone anymore, that’s how it should be with no equivocations.

After last year and seeing how so many people have come and gone, I knew I prolonged the inevitable with a handful of relationships.  One girl, who said ‘yes’ to our dating, didn’t even want to date to begin with? But she felt obligated to say ‘yes’ because she didn’t want to destroy the relationship we had before.  That’s something I don’t want the other individual to feel.  Don’t say ‘yes’ because you’re afraid of the future; rather than just living in a day-tight compartment.

Another one is the complete break-up and fallout of what was one of my close friends.  After visiting America and establishing an 11-year relationship, the bond felt damn near impenetrable.  With my own money, I booked another flight to America.  However, leading into the latter months of the year, I saw potential danger – danger in terms of her getting into a relationship and that two-week vacation having the potential of being a catastrophe.  With my money, I cancelled the trip.  It’s my money.  Voluntarily cancelled the trip…so the other party should not be mad – period.

I was wrong.  Not only was the other party mad, but it was a friendship ender.  It’s funny because yes, we see the true colors of individuals through hard-times.  On top of that, it goes to show you how selfish some human beings can be.  If I had a gut-feeling about not traveling to America at the end of the year, so be it.  Who’s money did I blow? On the other hand, because I made it a life-lesson to my listeners around the world, I was told “it’s a damn shame you put it on social media.”  And what does social media have to do with the origin of the problem?

Fast-forwarding to one of the most difficult months of my life just two months ago when I was banished from a company due to racial discrimination, she wasn’t there – just like she wasn’t there in the darkest month of my life in 2014.  So, the voluntary approach to this is that was strike number three.  Because the ego of you and you in search of your prince charming, the friendship is no more.

Another notable story is a student who attended the University of Sydney to become an epidemiologist.  This student would ask me grammatical questions for a year.  Did I answer them? Sure.  When I needed some translations, she helped.  When I needed to talk to her, she was gone.  Literally – she vanished and I never heard from her again.

This then brings me to the story of the extremely-odd-and-bizarre-individual whom I met a few days ago who said, “why don’t you have any friends?”

Well……

I held my tongue.  I didn’t need to explain.  From the beginning of 2009 to the madness that happened last year.  Friends.  What a term, right?

This is why when I believe a friendship is going sour, I end it.  If someone is pleading to make things amend or salvage what little may be left, I have flashbacks of what my ex-girlfriend did almost a decade ago.  I tried resuscitating something that was completely dead.  She didn’t let me.  She then started to say, “stop calling me!”  When that happened, I realized I fell to “wackest” and most pathetic form of a man possible.  When you have to plead for a friendship, it’s already dead.

Terry Crews went on to say that he always imagines his grandchildren.  What they would be saying to him in present time? One example was, “Grandpa, you shouldn’t do this, or you need to leave these people alone because we will be affected negatively, or worse, we won’t exist.”

Think about it next time when you’re around that “grimey” group of people.  Think about what your grandchildren might be saying.

What we go through in our life is always just part of the process.  Learn from those mistakes and look for those “hairs” of people who will make a profound difference in your life.

Dale Carnegie’s: Making People Glad To Do What You Want

Because of our personal preferences and interests, we’re never able to look at life through someone else’s shoes, right? We want to look at how we can benefit ourselves first versus anyone else.  That’s why the term “selfish” gets thrown around so much in relationships and friendships.

How can you begin to suggest things to someone, but first show them the rewards of it?

1. Be sincere. Do not promise anything that you cannot deliver. Forget about the benefits to yourself and concentrate on the benefits to the other person.

  • I stopped making promises a long time ago because I would have a fulfilment of about 50%.  Not only do you lose face, but also respect.  The distrust begins to increase and then people just think you’re full of s***.

2. Know exactly what it is you want the other person to do.

3. Be empathetic. Ask yourself what it is the other person really wants.

  • Always look at it from their standpoint and how they can benefit from it – your standpoint can wait.

4. Consider the benefits that person will receive from doing what you suggest.

  • This part can be fun.  As I talked about in my podcast about a father seeking out the benefits of his child, this can relate to a lot of parents out there.

5. Match those benefits to the other person’s wants.

6. When you make your request, put it in a form that will convey to the other person the idea that he personally will benefit. We could give a curt order like this: “John, we have customers coming in tomorrow and I need the stockroom cleaned out. So sweep it out, put the stock in neat piles on the shelves and polish the counter.” Or we could express the same idea by showing John the benefits he will get from doing the task: “John, we have a job that should be completed right away. If it is done now, we won’t be faced with it later. I am bringing some customers in tomorrow to show our facilities. I would like to show them the stockroom, but it is in poor shape. If you could sweep it out, put the stock in neat piles on the shelves, and polish the counter, it would make us look efficient and you will have done your part to provide a good company image.

Podcast

 

Five Major Deposits Into An Emotional Bank Account

It’s time to figure out how to build an emotional bank account.

Understanding The Individual 

What might be perceived as a deposit through the eyes of you might not constitute as one for someone else.  Better yet, it might even be a withdrawal.  Going on a walk, eating ice cream, or doing an activity out of ‘guilt’ will further dampen the account.

Stephen Covey talked about having a friend who was a college professor.  He had a terrible relationship with his teenage son.  This man’s entire life was academic, and thought his son was wasting away his life by using his “hands” instead of using his mind. As a result, he was constantly on the boy’s back, and, in moments of regret, he would try to make deposits that just didn’t work.  What happened more was the boy began perceiving his gestures to be even more rejecting.

So, after Stephen spoke to him about this, he decided to engage with his son in a project to build a Wall of Chin around their home.  Ridiculous time consuming, but the bonding experience occurred whereas that son moved through that phase in his life and into an increased desire to develop his mind.

Our tendency is to project out of our own autobiographies what we think other people want or need.  We project our intentions on the behavior of others.  We interpret what constitutes a deposit based on our own needs and desires, either now or when we were at a similar age or stage in life.  If they don’t interpret our effort as a deposit, our tendency is to take it as a rejection of our well intentioned effort and to give up. – Stephen Covey

“Do unto others as yo would have others do unto you.”

Attending To The Little Things

There was a time Stephen took his sons out for a memorable day trip involving gymnastics, wrestling matches, hotdogs and other things.  At the end of the day, they were watching a movie when Stephen realized one of his sons fell asleep.  The older brother and Stephen kept on watching until the end.  When it was over, he picked up his son, put a coat around him and walked him to the car.  He then realized after getting home that his six-year-old son began to go through withdrawals.  In the car ride home, Stephen tried asking him questions and the answers were very bland.  He wondered what was going on until the very end of the night, his son, who was sleeping in the other bed, turned around with tears and quivering lips and chin before asking, “Daddy, if I were cold, would you put your coat around me, too?”

Of all the events that happened that day, the most important one was a little act of kindness.

What a powerful, personal lesson that is.  I felt the same way when my mother obtained her income tax and took us to “The tower.”  She bought my brother videos games and when I asked for a pair of shoes, my brother influenced her decision and said no.  The entire ride home I was crying, at the age of 15, because I felt she cared more about my brother than I.  People, including myself, are very tender and sensitive inside.

Keeping Commitments

I’ve talked about this subject quite a few times already.  When you cancel over and over and over, the person’s tolerance level will only go so high.  That feeling of distrust and “you don’t care about me” begins to amplify until someone just gives up.  This has happened a lot with me in Thailand.  I canceled my friend on so many different occasions, her ultimately going on a rant and pity party saying, “you don’t give a s*** about me.”  I felt terrible.  If you can’t keep your promise, don’t promise to begin with!

Clarifying Expectations

This is one of those subjects that happen all the time, especially at work.  When someone wants to know their job description and how much they need to do, they can get into a verbal battle with their boss, resulting in an argument that happens over and over and over again.  This happens because of ambiguous expectations around goals and roles.

That’s why it’s so important whenever you come into a new situation to get all the expectations out on the table.  People will begin to judge each other through those expectations.  And if they feel like their basic expectations have been violated, the serve of trust is diminished.  We create many negative situations by simply assuming that our expectations are self-evident and that they are clearly understood and shared by other people. – Stephen Covey

Apologizing Sincerely When You Make A Withdrawal

  • I was wrong.
  • That was unkind of me.
  • I showed you no respect.
  • I gave you no dignity, and I’m deeply sorry.
  • I embarrassed you in front of your friends and I had no call to do that.  Even though I wanted to make a point, I never should have done it.  I apologize.”

It takes a great deal of strength to apologize quickly.

I was eating my favorite pizza in the world and salad when my staff came in five minutes before class began to bring students inside.  I told her, “I’m eating.”  Both her, and the maid, completely disregarded my comment; so this resulted in my standing up, grabbing my belongings in haste and storming out of the class.  In doing so, she asked me, “are you ok?”

I retorted, “all I wanna do is eat my pizza and peace and I can’t even do that.”

She came in a couple minutes later (when I went into the computer room) and apologised.  Later, I felt bad and I apologized, too.  I told her if I don’t eat and get interrupted while trying to get energy in my body, I have a tendency of exploding.  OOPS!

Hopefully these things will help you guys going forward and my podcast is down below!

 

 

Reward Your Inner Child

People have forgotten about laughter being one of the greatest elixirs on the planet.  When you laugh, not only does it help your abs (for my fitness enthusiasts), but releases endorphins and feel-good brain chemicals.

Will Smith, who’s a remarkable and iconic figure (not just a movie star), has sent shockwaves across the planet with his interview just before New Years (somewhere in England).  His 30 minute talk inspired thousands upon thousands here in Thailand and someone even translated his entire speech  into Thai.

Children absolutely love to laugh.  Children love to play around and they certainly don’t care about criticism of others.

However, you know that childlike ego does what all children do – it whines, begs for attention, craves hugs, and acts out when it doesn’t get what its needs met.  As we go through life, it’s almost as if we have that 3-year-old child holding on to us and constantly asking “why are we sitting at this desk? Why aren’t we having more fun? Why am I still up at three in the morning? Why am I reading this boring report?

If you had a 3-year-old ing eat life, yo might say, “Mommy has to finish this proposal in the next twenty minutes.  But after Mommy’s done, we’ll go for an ice cream or play a video game.”  Your real-life 3-year-old would probably answer, “Okay; I’ll be good because I know i’m going to get something good at the end of it.” – Jack Canfield.

I rewarded my inner child recently when I traveled to Singapore, Tokyo, Los Angeles, Phoenix, Sedona, Los Angeles, Seoul, Singapore, and back to Bangkok.  My inner child, at some point, needs to know that I’ll be taking a break or a vacation.  My inner child right now knows that I’m going to Fiji in August.  My inner child knows that I’m always in high spirits in the morning when I do deadlifts.

A big part of creating more success in your life is rewarding yourself when you succeed. In reality, rewarding yourself for your successes keeps your inner child happy, right? If you don’t, you begin to get grumpy at everything.  after a while, it knows it can trust you and eventually deliver on your promises.  If you don’t, just like a real child, it will start to sabotage your efforts by doing things like getting sick, having accidents, or making mistakes that cost you anything and everything in life.

Stephen Covey – Circle of Concern vs. Circle of Influence

“People think the world is going insane right now with the problems happening but I think we’re doing just fine.  7 million of us cramped up on this planet….I think we’re going a pretty good job.” – Jim Carey

This is a prime example of not only proactive language, but also the circle of concern which is the activity that I’ll be talking about out of Stephen Covey’s book.

Look at how you focus your time an energy.  Really….take a look.  Are you focusing on things that you have no control over? Or things you can control?

We have a wide range of problems: health, children, problems at work, debt, nuclear war, etc.  There are some things that we can control and others that are way out of our control. We can separate from these particular things in which we have no particular or emotional involvement by creating a “Circle of Concern.”

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“As we look at those things within our Circle of Concern, it becomes apparent that there are some things over which we have no real control and others that we can do something about.” Stephen Covey.

A lot of foreigners residing in Thailand, for instance, complain heavily about just about everything in Thailand; from the cat down the road, to one of the biggest shopping centers in the heart of Bangkok.  None of these things in which they have control over.  Get the picture?

Proactive people, on the other hand, focus their energy on the Circle of Influence.  Things they can actually do something about.

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Reactive people focus their efforts in the Circle of Concern.  They focus soon the weakness of other people, the problems in the environment, and circumstances over which they have no control.  Their focus results in blaming and accusing attitudes, reactive language, and increased feelings of victimization.  The negative energy generated by that focus, combined with everything else, causes their Circle of Influence to shrink.

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Stephen Covey said, “Be a light, not a judge.  Be a model, not a critic.”

For the next week, see where you fit in. See if you can control the energy that you’re emanating. See if you’re reactive vs. proactive.  Listen to your language.

Podcast – https://www.spreaker.com/episode/10222857