Dealing with Flakers

Over the course of a week, I’ve had these types of fallouts.

  • Mentors/coaches/authors chastising me on social media about an opinion
  • “Coach” not getting back to my voice message
  • Instagram “single & relationship” coach being a complete asshole
  • A “self-love” coach literally bailing on the day of an IGTV live, then completely pulling out less than a week later
  • Another coach disappearing only to say “I don’t want to do this anymore”
  • A “marketing” IG influencer with 22k followers being a complete douche through message
  • Other IG “coaches” not messaging me back but messaging other used-to-be-companions back

Do you see the trend here? The majority of these people are apparent “coaches,” yet their labels don’t speak. It’s odd to see these “coaches” being assholes, not owning up to their word, being blatantly rude, jumping all over you for stating the obvious, and being total dick-bags in general.

I categorized them….

  • They’re all coaches
  • They’re all from IG
  • All but one are white (not that this matters, but it’s just obvious)
  • All but but are female (even the ones that I tried building the Global Coaches podcast with….were all females except one douche who just never got back to me)
  • All through technology

After doing my meditation this morning, I realized that I was in control of everything. I realized that the majority of my happiness was way out of my control. I also realized that i kept checking social media yesterday, likes, views, and if people had messaged me…..only to be a great disappointment in the end. I then began blaming algorithms and fell into a deeper hole. So, this is good news because I identified the source of all my “sorrows.”

If I could shed some light on the situation, I had two of the best ESL podcasts EVER over the past two weeks (amazing guy from the Bahamas and a Chilean teacher)….both of whom are in the same region and are of color. So, I have the Caribbean and South America who’s working to my advantage in terms of IG.

In saying that, what will I do for the day?

  • Check social media only in the evening
  • No news, no coaches, no connections, no messaging female coaches on IG
  • Stay only in touch with my Line application with potential jobs and a couple of close friends
  • Drop all projects (because the last coach went AWOL yesterday, that’s obviously a sign that it’s not going to work long-term).
  • Communication is absolutely key in having a podcast. I had a joint-podcast with a guy from the UK, but there was no vision and why behind it, nor could we make money from it….but it worked as long as it did. When it comes to women, it could be far more difficult because emotions play a significant role.

Trust Tips for Clarifying Expectations

A VERY AMAZING Thursday. A woman I used to work for invited me to an interview at a bank because she knew I could sell like crazy. She needed to give a presentation to four women and I was there looking at the every move of them.

When we sat in the room, we waited for about 10 minutes and then came in 4 women: no handshakes, eye-contact, hello, anything. Everything was forced, and then I felt a knot in my stomach, “oh, this isn’t going to be good.”

My ex-colleague, without small talk or anything, went straight into a formal presentation. This is scary because if you want to get a client, you shouldn’t do any speaking — only listening. She spoke for a solid 15 minutes without feedback and I watched the women across the table. Two young generation and two older. One in particular was very fidgety. In the first three minutes, I felt her mind had left the room. She was playing with her papers, phone, and looked as if she wanted to walk out. I felt embarrassed.

Just before that…

My ex-colleague told me that she hadn’t gotten any special projects because the competition is stiff. However, I don’t believe in competition…..you’re your own competition, and let me break this down.

As someone who wants to be heard (the client), they should do the talking in the beginning. Who cares about you, your track record, or your accolades. They need help, and you’re supposed to help them.

For the first 15 minutes, they were disengaged. They were given a ton of papers, and to add insult to injury, they were given the price quote (face palming the shit out of myself at this very moment). So what does this sound like? a win-lose situation. She was doing everything so structurally that she forgot this is supposed to be a win-win situation. Hell with the money, tell me how you can help us! — is what I would’ve said.

In the end, I was able to ask them straightforward what they wanted.

  • How to respond effectively, and with soft language, to complain emails.

See, instead of the presentation and given pre-courses, this is what she should’ve asked right out the gates, and that would’ve been a sure client. Because she didn’t, she was after the money and NOBODY likes money-grabbers because it’s a win-lose.

They opened up. They smiled. They laughed. She said, “what you guys have on the paper isn’t what we want.”

“It’s just the things that we offer,” I said. ” We create customizable courses for our clients to get maximum speed and cost from the training.”

Her eyes lit up.

Was it enough? Not sure, but if it was, it’s because I clarified expectations and everything in general.

Trust Tips

Reaching the “sweet spot” in Clarify Expectations takes Integrity (being honest and courageous about setting expectations and communicating with others). It takes Intent to create expectations that represent a “win” for all involved. It takes Capabilities, including the ability to organize the elements of the agreement, to set up accountability, and to execute with excellence. And it takes the ability to identify the desired Results in a way that everyone involved understands.

– When you communicate with others, recognize that clarity is power. One way of checking to see if your communication has been clear is to “check for clarity” by asking a few simple questions.

1) What have you understood from this conversation?

2) As a result of our interaction, what do you see as your next steps? What do you see as mine?

3) Do you feel that others are clear regarding expectations?

4) What can we do to make things more clear?

– The next time you have a project at work, create a clear project agreement in advance. If you’re in charge, call everyone together and encourage them to express any ideas and concerns. Work to come up with a clear agreement that is realistic and represents a win for all stakeholders.

Podcast

The Enlightenment Series: S1 – E2 – Carla Trigo on

It’s been a long time coming, but Carla and I finally had the opportunity to connect on a wonderful Facebook live (both in YouTube and podcast format) in a very captivating and enlightening chat about a wide variety of things. You guys are going to enjoy this. The topics, audio and video are down below!

Get in touch with Carla Riago from Spain

Links:

Things we discussed:

  • Introduction given by Carla Trigo about her work.
  • What is lifestyle design?
  • How does an individual redesign their lifestyle?
  • How do people breakout from the familiar trend?
  • How can people be more observant?
  • How did Carla start innovating?
  • What are things that help the guest as her blueprint for mind changing?
  • Journaling is a way for you to get rid of negative mindsets.
  • How to ask questions instead of giving statements.
  • How to have a better relationship by asking the right questions.
  • Reading and applying from what readers have read is an important skill.
  • What three steps should be taken by listeners?

Thank you for listening!

Links:

  1. Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/thearseniobuckshow/
  2. Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thearseniobuckshow/?hl=en
  3. YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCIzp4EdbJVMhhSnq_0u4ntA
  4. Podcasts: https://www.spreaker.com/user/thearseniobuckshow, https://open.spotify.com/show/7hdzplWx6xB8mhwDJYiP6f, https://www.buzzsprout.com/165390
  5. Website: https://thearseniobuckshow.com/
  6. Twitter: https://twitter.com/arseniobuckshow?lang=en

Arsenio’s ESL Podcast: International Guest Speaker (Season 4) – Isabel of Germany

Omg! This was the game-changer. Isabel, an extraordinary individual with so many accolades under her belt, is here to discuss some amazing things about her journey from Germany to America.

Isabel Hundt is a successful Inspirational Speaker, Founder of the #ISeeUMovement, Sociologist, certified Transformation Coach working with Highly Sensitive Visionaries and World Changers aka Empath-Warriors™, Emotions Clearing Practitioner, published Author of The Power of Faith-Driven Success and 2x Amazon Bestselling Co-Author. 

Her expertise revolves around navigating your emotional world, the power of intuition and the importance of trust and perseverance in today’s society. Isabel has been featured on over 100 TV, well-known radio and podcasts shows. 

Get in touch with Isabel Hundt of Germany

Links:

Things we discussed:

  • Introduction given by Isabel Hundt and how she started it all.
  • Talked about global English learning and emotional connections.
  • Shared about languages as a form of communication and how to connect through emotions.
  • Talking about intuition and how to establish emotional communication.
  • How to communicate emotionally?
  • Talking about the guest’s online course about emotional communication.
  • Shared about fear and love.
  • Shared about anger and boundaries.
  • A stimulation of a scenario – sharing about why people label.
  • What is the impact of individualism??

Thank you for listening!

Links:

  1. Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/thearseniobuckshow/
  2. Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thearseniobuckshow/?hl=en
  3. YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCIzp4EdbJVMhhSnq_0u4ntA
  4. Podcasts: https://www.spreaker.com/user/thearseniobuckshow, https://open.spotify.com/show/7hdzplWx6xB8mhwDJYiP6f, https://www.buzzsprout.com/165390
  5. Website: https://thearseniobuckshow.com/
  6. Twitter: https://twitter.com/arseniobuckshow?lang=en

Arsenio’s ESL Podcast: Season 3 – Episode 39 – Pronunciation – Intonation in Conditional Sentences

First and foremost, I now have the first of five phases (pronunciation course) available on UDEMY. If you’re adamant with improving your enunciation in the work space, traveling, in the classroom, community, online with friends, etc….hit the link down below.

UDEMY Pronunciation Course

Welcome back to another episode, everyone! Today we’re going to get a listen sophisticated on this beautiful eve before Christmas. I’m going to up-the-ante and teach you something difficult. This will be a relatively short podcast, but understand how intonations in conditional sentences work.

When you begin a conditional sentence with an if clause, each clause has its own intonation pattern. The intonation falls at the end of each clause.

If there’s an underwater earthquake, you’ll probably have a tsunami.

When the main clause begins a conditional sentence, the sentence has a single intonation pattern. The intonation falls at the end of the sentence.

You’ll probably have a tsunami if there’s an underwater earthquake.

Tactic Practice

  1. I would definitely want to see Kilauea Volcano if I visited Hawaii.
  2. You’ll be familiar with earthquake safety if you live in a country like Japan.
  3. If you ever feel an earthquake, you’ll also probably feel smaller aftershocks later.
  4. If I had time to take another class, I’d study geology.

Podcast

Interviewee #024 – Lewis Raymond Taylor On Overcoming Himself

What an unbelievable story this was.  Lewis started off as a child who needed attention, like all children do, but after screamed at and neglected by his family, the fall of him began.  From drugs, alcoholism, run ins with the authority and even prison time, he changed his mind through a series of moments.  After putting himself back in prison the second time, the change happened.  Tune into the podcast!

Get in touch with Lewis Raymond Taylor

 

Links:

 

Things we discussed:

  • Introduction by the host with his guest.
  • Unhappy childhood and emotional abuse from his father.
  • The attention seeking disease.
  • Becoming a sexual abuse victim.
  • Wrong people, subconscious, prison.
  • Emotional needs.
  • Rejection, anger and rejection.
  • Being diagnosed with split personality disorder, bipolar disorder and other mental issues.
  • Attempted suicide and a near-death experience.
  • Nearly killing a man because the man’s aggression reflected his fathers.
  • The beginning of the change.
  • What the strategies were.
  • Mentorship in prison.
  • The beginning of being a business coach.
  • Being not responsible, but accountable.
  • 7 steps to make a change.

Listen to “Interviewee #024 – Lewis Raymond Taylor On Overcoming Himself” on Spreaker.

 

Thank you for listening!

 

If you found this useful, I would love for you to share the podcast on social media!

 

Links:

 

 

Arsenio’s ESL Podcast: International Guest Speaker: Life Coach — Ramona — From Romania!

After a friend request was accepted, I realized that Ramona was a life-coach from Romania and living in Dublin.  From that moment was the inception of a life-long friendship that could bring so much to human beings around the planet.  I’m super grateful for not only telling my story through personal development, but making connections all over the world.  I’m introducing you another International Guest Speaking Podcast today! Enjoy!

 

Things we discussed:

  • Ramona’s love for the English language.
  • Why she went to Ireland.
  • When she started learning English.
  • Her love for Romania after visiting.
  • What her appreciation of Romania was from a different perspective.
  • Problems acclimating in Ireland?
  • Becoming a life-coach.
  • Irish castles and beautiful Irish landscapes.
  • Irish cuisine and Irish soup.
  • Similarities between Romanian and Irish sense of humor.
  • Her visits to other parts of European countries.
  • Bali from a different perspective.
  • Recommendations of well-known places to visit in Romania.
  • The country Georgia and its beautiful language.
  • Her visit to Bulgaria.
  • Subconscious mind.
  • Next adventures.

Thank you for listening!

Thanks for joining me and please share it!

Links:

 

Coaching Session 003: Being Creative

So, I was asked this fascinating question just recently by one of my content writers.  She asked me how to be creative and how we can continue being creative.  Well, we’re living in a world that’s changing literally every year, month, week, day.  The YouTube’s and Apple’s of the world can ultimately fall apart just as Toys R Us and other massive chains in different countries plummeted.  Well, if we take a look at my ESL podcast and how I’ve been teaching in Thailand, this is probably the only way I can relate to this post.

The Initiation

When I first moved to Thailand, I was making a sloppy $600 USD a month.  Now, the teacher told me I would get paid $66 dollars less because I was black, too.  What was I doing at this school? Teaching younger kids — which required a lot of creativity.  That’s basically it. For five months I didn’t have any personal development and didn’t try learning useful skills that will make me a hot commodity.

Second Job

I moved up to $1000 dollars a month, which is an 80% increase, teaching technical college students.  Did I learn anything while I was there? Absolutely not…but with 5 months experience, this gave me a significant pay raise that I never thought I would get.

The Reality

When I finally moved outside of Bangkok, not only did I make 2k USD a month, but I first taught TOEIC (a test preparation course to enable the student to apply for higher paying jobs based on their English language literacy).  I learned to teach 4-skills (reading, writing, speaking, listening), academic writing, IELTS, business English and other facets.  When they saw I was an excellent speaker, they wanted me to create a new course that catered to conversation, which was a success beyond a success.  I got gigs teaching at the top-5 companies within these borders (email writing, business English and other areas), and when this happened, jealousy began growing.

Then I knew I was on the right path. The more I learned, the more I earn.

In 2015, I created a YouTube video that now has over 9k views…..never did I think that would happen.  It wasn’t until earlier this year that I had the idea, “hey, if there are lots of people viewing my videos YouTube, how about I make a podcast and see where it goes? Bingo! From there, my podcast soared over the last couple of months.  I began creating 1-minute videos on Instagram and my Facebook page — resulting in BIG HITS.  I turned that into online coaching, which I do live on the weekends and set up the refreshment course via YouTube.

And Then

A coach for Toyota, who has traveled the world and who I’ve been teaching the past three weeks (TOEFL) spoke to me for twenty minutes at the end of class saying, “you have e-test, e-learning, coaching, and refreshing).  While he was talking to me, I realized that I was unconsciously doing two of them already (coaching and refreshing) and it has been STELLAR since beginning two weeks ago.

The Creative

If I can create an e-test for my students and provide specialized courses in the different sectors of English, this could be the new-age part of learning.  If you haven’t already heard, universities are 1 trillion in debt and now people are realizing that university, is indeed, a scam.  In ten years time, we could be learning in virtual reality.  The language centers here in Thailand and all over the world, which are my competitors, can no longer provide a book and a “teacher” to teach from a book (super easy to do). They’ll have to become more creative.

So, how do I stay relevant? Integration of sophisticated lessons that will capture the imaginations of my students, making them better members of society while focusing on their core genius.  Professors around the world teach what’s only in books, and that will all be gone once AI is implemented and we no longer need to memorize information that’s useless.

Being creative is doing exactly what the big companies, which have failed, didn’t do.  Continue evolving and providing your customers with more things and innovate your technology to make life easier.  Jack Ma says “find a need and fill it.”

If you had known about Buzzsprout in the beginning of the year, you would know how garbage it was.  This platform, which podcasters can use to host, was completely useless compared to SoundCloud (a now “pay for plays” platform).  I didn’t know the metrics, who was listening, the last x amount of plays, or ANYTHING.  It was generic as hell compared to sites like Spreaker — a site I can see all the sources on.  However, I’m able to schedule my ESL podcasts now, transcript for little to no money (compared to hosting sites which charge 10x more), and I can put chapter markers in my podcast — a feature that has been invented on any other platform.

Buzzsprout knows in order for it to stay afloat, it has to continue evolving. The moment it began to grow complacent (at the beginning of the year), that was beginning of its downfall.

Always continue making life easier for your customers. Period.

Podcast

 

Coaching Session 002: The Follow-up With My Colleague — Changes Are Happening!

So, if you guys haven’t already read the blog or heard the podcast about my colleague who is/was depressed, I suggest you do that, first.

Now, just recently I had my colleague make some significant changes in her life.  I had her write down the list of everything she likes to do, passions, what are her strengths, and other things.  I’ve struck gold with it.

Over the next week, she seemed a lot happier.  She paid $500 bucks for dance lessons, and this was awesome because she’s always dancing at work.  She committed to fitness by making videos on Instagram, showing herself doing squats and other exercises.

Shortly following that, she sent me her list in regards to the positive things about her and this is what she wrote.

  1. What are my natural gifts? Making people laugh.
  2. What are my skills? Organizing and acting.
  3. What do I enjoy? Dancing, singing, taking photos.
  4. When do I feel most alive? When I’m with friends.
  5. What am I passionate about? (still undecided)
  6. What brings the greatest joy in my life? Good work, taking care of my mom, good family (all conditionals though — nothing in the present)
  7. When do I feel best about myself? Helping others.

 

Strengths

Listening

Challenges

Commitment

 

Now, her natural gifts, skills and enjoyment interlink with each other, but there are still some areas that she’s not exactly sure about and that we need to tap into.  Also, living in a country like Thailand, most people aren’t good at giving positive reinforcement and feedback with peers.  In the spot where it says “what have people always said I’m really good at,” there wasn’t anything.  This isn’t an issue, but culturally speaking, this isn’t good.

Nonetheless, she did message me and tell me that she feels much better and she claims that it’s fromt he medication at the psychiatrist.  However, that’s actually the problem. With Fish Oil, Vitamin D tablets and 20 minutes of exercise a day, she can wick away those “depressive thoughts.”

That’s the next big step in my coaching with her.

Podcast

Coaching Session #001: Figuring Out Where Your Depression is Coming From

It was a coaching session like no other; in fact it was with a significant language barrier in between the both of us.

I first received a message from one of the girls that works at a place I’m part-timing at. She said she wanted to talk to me about something serious, so I immediately thought  something went bad — AGAIN — at work in regards to a student.

However, that wasn’t the case.  Previously i had coached one of my colleagues to snap out of her depression, and it worked.  So, the second staff member approached me and it was time to be the coach.

I made her do the “Wheel of Life” podcast and she became aware of what was going on in her life.  On a scale 1-10, and rating 8 categories, her highest mark was seven, which didn’t make any sense.  So her outer feelings and what is going on in her life is very apparent.  Here’s what she had.

Health – 5 – low blood pressure, dizzy, tired quickly

Wealth – 3 – no car, home, business, can’t take care of mother,

Career – 1 – absent-minded, indecision

Personal Development – 0 – cannot create happiness

Physical Environment – 3 – high competition, selfishness

Fun & Hobbies – 0 – no time or money

Family & Friends 7 – friends are there but not all

Physical Environment – 4

Romantic Relationships – 4 – lots of negative feelings towards love (6 entries)

So, here is what she wrote down (via google translate), and as you scan see, it focuses primarily on what she doesn’t have.  There’s conditioning happening here, which is not unusual, but she’s holding onto a lot of past things that aren’t suitable anymore.

Health revolves around her personal development.  Tired quickly, gets dizzy, etc….there could be a massive deficiency on so many levels in terms of vitamins, nutrients, minerals — but remember — it’s not what you see on the surface.  It’s much deeper than that.

Wealth is a fixed mindset.  She focuses on things she doesn’t have that I don’t have.  I don’t have a car or own a home, either.  It all depends on preferences, and because she believes success relates to materialistic things, she thinks she’s a failure for not having these things.

Physical Environment, in a place where competition is very high and ignorance amongst her colleagues, of course she’s going to hate it.  Little money? Of course! But why do you continue doing something that gives you no ROI? Is she happy doing the job? No way.

What to do?

What are her beliefs? What negative beliefs does she have on the subjects above? She needs to write them down and then write down something outrageously opposite from her belief.  This is when it begins to change.  You have to get rid of all the “have nots and don’t haves” and turn them into positive, reassuring statements because the subconscious doesn’t know what’s right from wrong.  It just takes in everything you feel, and in her case, she feels like complete s***.

Put one good food into her diet a day. There are plenty of mood-boosting foods out there in the world.

Career is a toss-up.  I can’t ask her what she does, but she definitely needs to do the “how to find your life purpose” questionnaire to get somewhat guidance.

Hate your job? Time to change it.  Hate something else? Drop it.  I’m a super advocate for taking out negativity.  My workplace has become an unbearable environment to be in over the last couple of weeks because of petty stuff.  What have I done? Start looking for new work.  That’s the basis.  Is it long-term where you’re working? Ok, you need to pay the bills….keep doing that, but never take ignorant bosses berating you over your sanity.  If that happens, goodbye.  Trust me, you will find something when you stop a herd of negativity from coming into your life.

Listen to “Coaching Session 001: Figuring Out Where Your Depression is Coming From” on Spreaker.