Interviewee #11 – Harvesting Happiness Talk Radio’s Lisa Cypers On Positive Psychology & Coaching

Harvesting Happiness & Harvesting Happiness for Heroes (a 501c3 nonprofit corporation) provides positive psychology coaching tools to facilitate greater well-being. This communication is provided for education and inspiration. This communication does not constitute mental health treatment nor is it indicative of a private therapeutic relationship. Individuals desiring help for trauma, addiction and abuse related issues or other psychological concerns should seek out a mental health professional. 

“She is a “felicitator”—one who generates and spreads happiness. She accomplishes this through being an applied positive psychology and mindfulness coach, radio show host, author, documentary filmmaker, public speaker, and optimal lifestyle influencer. She’s a champion for greater health, fitness, medical innovation, and well-being.”

 

Harvesting Happiness Show Notes

Things we discussed:

  • What is happiness?
  • How do you cultivate happiness.
  • What is a mid-life crisis?
  • Ways to fight depression.
  • Signs of depression.
  • The real thing of “busy.”
  • What is positive psychology?
  • Experiencing trauma.
  • Psychology of medicine.
  • The power of vulnerability.
  • The power of failure.
  • What is mindfulness?
  • How to practice mindfulness.
  • The beginning of the Harvesting Happiness.
  • Books that influenced her life
  • Encouraging people to practice personal development.
  • Mental Health – how to practice lifestyle management.
  • Practice Spirituality.
  • Advice for people who are listening.

The podcast, which is down below, is for you to listen to the entire show.  Please do share this podcast on your social media!

Podcast 

 

Darren Hardy’s Compound Effect – Hands-On Assessments (LONG-READ)

Gratitude Assessment

Three amazing people in my life are……..

This was very difficult for me to think about.  I mean last year was an exodus.  One of my “best” friends unwittingly booted herself out of my life.  Two of the three people I praised back in October/November ended up disappearing.  So, I had to go back to my roots and really just see who’s always been there for me. 

  1. Andre.  I was teaching at night and I got an odd call while teaching.  My best friend Andre, who lives in New York, called me to inform me about a tsunami warning.  There’s no one else who would do that for me in my life.  Although the tsunami was way out of Thailand’s reach, he knew that I probably knew friends in Japan who could’ve been affected by it.
  2. Joy.  If there’s someone I can FaceTime at anytime, even her being an 8-hour flight away, it’s her.  From meeting her in a bar-that-I-Won’t-Mention-In-Honolulu, to being my best friend.  Joy is a remarkable human being with even more remarkable kidlets (sorry, Joy).
  3. I’m going to put my colleague Nelson here.  Nelson, who is from Uganda, is a man that helps me de-shroud the black smoke that surrounds me some days.  Him and I went through a ridiculous fallout last year, but him being the bigger man — approached me in the restroom and we talked it out over drinks a week later, eyeing some gorgeous women (lol).  He’s the one that is currently giving me guidance in terms of where to teach next and what to do.

Three great things about my physical body are….

Running for a long-time without any physical exhaustion.  What my body has turned into through hard-work in a wonderful gym in the heart of Bangkok (The Lab), to doing competitions all over the world, is a spectacle. LOL! I’m so grateful for looking at myself in the mirror, up and down, saying “god DAMN! Now that IS a spectacle indeed!”  If I look at myself from when I first came to Thailand, to now….it’s been an amazing transformation.

Three great things about my home and where I live are….

Now just a months earlier, there’s not a thing I would say that would be positive about where I lived. I got sick often, dirty looks lunged towards me because of ____________, no courtesy, ignorant teenagers with spoilers, zooming in the night and waking me up constantly, loud music – pretty much the worst situation imaginable.

Now? Ultra-gorgeous condominium in a wonderful neighborhood where middle-upper class people live….people who have lots of courtesy, smiles, and don’t give me any dirty looks.

Three great things about where I work and what I do for a living are…..

HA! That’s a hilarious joke on my part.  Well, where I work now,I don’t work there anymore. I mean my body is there, but my spirit isn’t.  That place is finished.  A conclusions on top of a conclusion.  HOWEVER, where I’m soon to work has me more excited than ever, all thanks to Linkedin.  YES! Not only that, but the brand and online presence I’m building is exciting beyond anything I could’ve ever imagined.  Outside the primary job, which accustoms for only 5% of my life, is staggering.  The podcast, which is booming more than ever, is on fire.  My YouTube channel, which is hitting the highest marks ever, will soon be converted to an online classroom.  There are a handful of other things, and I’m grateful for all of them.

Three great gifts of unique talent or skills I’ve been given, or that have been created are…….

My personality, which was developed by being around my best friends in high school.  My discipline, which I continue to develop by listening to the likes of Gary Vee, Lisa Nichols and MindValley.  And lastly, my ability to make people laugh.  Yeah, I can point out the confidence, too.  However, I seriously have such a strong personality to the point that you either love me or hate me.

Three great gifts of knowledge and experience I’ve been given are….

I’m not black.

PERIOD.

I’m a being that has the opportunity to change the lives of millions around the world.  I have a core genius — something that I can focus on, develop, and improve — ultimately leading to unfathomable success.  (3) This country, known as Thailand, is the best place I could’ve developed my intra/interpersonal skills in the wake of some much racism.  BOOM!

Three ways in which my life is wealthy, abundance, and prosperous are……

Having a stacked savings that can protect me in times of turmoil.  Having unbelievably wonderful friends in my life who can help me at any given time.  Lastly, seeing my life without blinders are and seeing the true meaning of life – from the animals, to the people smiling everywhere around me.

Core Values Assessment

Who is the person I respect most in life? What are their core values?

Les Brown, Lisa Nichols, Tony Robbins, Bob Proctor, Alan Watts, Vishen Lakhiani and a few others got me into the game.  However, a person who has become a huge part of my life that doesn’t even know it – is Gary Vee.

Patience, keep creating and hard-work.  Now, his motto revolves a lot around “hustle,” which I’m not particularly fond of (because of the nature of the word in the streets of African American neighborhoods), but him telling other podcasters about being patient has helped me tremendously.

Who is my best friend and what is his top three qualities.

Andre – perseverance, never gave up, and persistence.

This guy has been through hell and back.  I won’t put his business all out there, but he lost a wonderful sister to Leukemia back in the last quarter of 2004.  He was accused of the most outlandish happenings from 2005-2008 and blamed by his family members.  He finally left in 2010 to New York and never returned.  Since then, that man has had a kid –with another on the way — and found a wonderful girlfriend (soon-to-be-fiancé-and-probably-wife-maybe).  He persevered through HELL…and I mean HELL…to become an owner of a warehouse.  He’s my inspiration.

If I can have an quality instantly, what would it be?

I have no regrets about who I am and what I “need,” but if I can have a quality instantly, it would be everything Gary knows.  That quality.  Whatever quality that is…I want it.

Which personality traits, attribute or quality do people most compliment me on?

This is my favorite.  I was speaking about this recently with one of my students.  I recall being in my college dorm and having Shayla, Alissa, DJ and Angie sitting in the room.  We had to take terms singing songs, and I had to sing “I swear” by  All For One (or what I thought was Soul 4 Real).  I sang it under my breath, but it seemed like she was trying ridiculously hard to hear my voice, and she succeeded.  I can’t remember when, but probably within a few months, people started raving about my voice.

One thing I didn’t have but developed — were dance moved.  I was made fun of by the entire softball team because I kept “snapping” my fingers and had the same move.  LOL! Good times.

But then there was my professor in dental assisting who said, “Arsenio, what you have is a gift.  You can’t teach personality and what you have is going to take you a long way in life.

She was absolutely right.

Also, my body.  That’s right.  What I’m not good at is accepting the compliment about my body.  Lol.  When I get compliments from South Americans, I find it super sexy.  Women from Costa Rica, Chile and other places say “muy guapo,” and I feel what they actually say.  However, I think when people call me handsome in Thailand it’s either with condition (they want to solicit sex for money – hahahah), or they’re just being nice but what they really wanna say is, “you’re a black man.”  Nonetheless, I know I’m becoming a freak, and that’s exciting.

Life/Habit Assessments, along with influences, are in the podcast down below.

Darren Hardy’s Compound Effect: Full Book Review

It’s been a hell of a journey in terms of the Compound Effect.  I went through this book and inherited a wide-range of actionable tools, and hopefully you did, too.

Here are my best parts about the book and some podcasts to follow.

Microwave Mentality

As I’ve told you so many times, there’s the smallest percentage ever who become an “instant success,” but you’re going to have to do-away with that mentality. The “insta-results” and lottery-winning expectations are a no-go because that same person endured hundreds of failures.

In the sports world, there’s no chance at you becoming a genetically gifted monster like Terrel Owens and a few other NFL players were.  The countless hours of reps, sweating, running bleachers, conditioning and hauling ass on the field is all behind the scenes.  The “lose weight fast; get abs in 6-weeks” blogs are bogus.  Fact is everyone has abs, but most people have them covered by fat.

In Thailand you have a beauty pill.  This beauty pill, which would be unbelievably illegal on top of illegal in America, can be bought in shops here.  The pill that causes diarrhea, vomiting and a range of other ailments, is used to make women “beautiful.”  No, you need to put in the world, and there’s no other way around it.

Choice

Look, everyone has a choice.  I really hate to put it in blunt terms, especially for people who are possibly living in impoverished countries, but you had the choice to join that gang.  You had the choice to smoke that “blunt.”  You made the choice of slandering someone online, only to hurt yourself more.

“Think about it. Everything in your life exists because you first made a choice about something. Choices are at the root of every one of your results. Each choice starts a behavior that over time becomes a habit. Choose poorly, and you just might find yourself back at the drawing board, forced to make new, often harder choices. Don’t choose at all, and you’ve made the choice to be the passive receiver of whatever comes your way.”

Excerpt From: Darren Hardy. “The Compound Effect.” iBooks.

“Have you ever been bitten by an elephant? How about a mosquito? It’s the little things in life that will bite you. Occasionally, we see big mistakes threaten to destroy a career or reputation in an instant—the famous comedian who rants racial slurs during a stand-up routine, the drunken anti-Semitic antics of a once-celebrated humanitarian, the anti-gay-rights senator caught soliciting gay sex in a restroom, the admired female tennis player who uncharacteristically threatens an official with a tirade of expletives. Clearly, these types of poor choices have major repercussions. But even if you’ve pulled such a whopper in your past, it’s not extraordinary massive steps backward or the tragic single moments that we’re concerned with here.”

I’m calling out all Americans: “it was you that bought the frozen food at the store, not the food companies profiting from you.”  I recently saw a photo of my not-so-immediate family at a party, and with the six women in the photo, I would have to make a guestimate that the total weight of all of them put together had to be around 2000 lbs.  This has become the norm.  So normal in fact that my Aunt, who i love so dearly, claimed that I was too skinny and that I needed to gain weight – even though I’m an extremely healthy weight.  Bizarre.

I’m imploring all of you to just say to yourself, “everything that is happening in my life is the result of my past thoughts and actions.  For me to change what’s happening in my life, I need to change my thoughts and actions.”

Super impose that and stick it above the bathroom mirror in big red lettering.  Make it a “pocket map” and read it every time you unload your pockets in the evening – kind of like a gratitude rock.  Be responsible for it all.

I’m declaring ownership to why all those egregiously krass and vice behaving Thai women approached me on different social media platforms – saying I was “black.  Yuck. Disgusting. I hate black men. Go back to Africa!”

Yeah, some of you are saying, “but you didn’t deserve that.”  It’s not what I deserve, it’s what I unconsciously called into existence.

University of Hard Knocks – My Favorite Part

Oh, yes! Thank you, Mr. _______ for telling me I wasn’t good enough in wake of one of the most racially influenced situations I’ve ever endured in my life.  Thanks to the company ____________, which I’ll be giving a firm shout out to, for showing me that I can do so so much more.  Yes, it was rough in the beginning.  What I thought was a sure-job heading into the last week of the year — turned — hiatus.  This was wrenching, simply because I almost severed my own head at my job by flipping birds and talking bad about wife-tourists.  I almost slipped up viciously, but luckily I didn’t; or else,  I’d be out of a job right now.  In the unfolding of the first quarter of this year are the dimensions of the “transitional period” for me.  Yeah, there’s a lot “if” and “omg, what’s going to happen next?”  However, I feel like I’m on the verge of getting my Master’s Degree at the University of Hard Knocks!

Success Is A (Half-) Marathon

Let’s put it this way: Sprint, Super, Beast.

The Spartan Spring is 7km long; Super is 13km long; and the beastly Beast is 20km long.

If this is your first time doing the competition, or if you’ve fat and overweight, would it be smart to do the Beast? No.

Super? No.

Sprint? NO!

None of them.  What’s smart is to walk for 100m-400m every morning and get in the groove.  The micro winds.  Some people want to take leaps.  I remember a man by the name of Mike, who was Persian, said to me “Arsenio, can you train me for the olympics?”  Mike had never ran the 100m or 200m sprint before in his life, let alone he was clocking in an 11.5 in the 100m.  In the olympics, you have to be sub-10 seconds.

Mike, no.  However, if you train everyday, get the proper nutrition, see a masseuse on a routine basis and search for a how-to guide, you’ll ultimately make waves – but not in America.

I’m not trying to discourage Mike, but it’s a bit insane to just jump in with the wolves without knowing what their diet is – if that makes any sense.

The other podcasts and recommendations are in the podcast down below!

Darren Hardy: Do The Unexpected & Do Better Than Expected

Have you guys seen  the “do what the 99 percent aren’t doing?”

Yeah, I’ve seen those as thumbnails on YouTube videos and at least on a weekly basis on Instagram.

If you look at Christmas and how everyone sends Christmas cards; in addition, the family members who want to be handed materialistic things.  Those things we already expect, right? So it kind of just loses its value.  Take a look at the trends that are happening right now.  I just read something online that said, “think about what’s going to happen in five years then do that.”

Elon Musk just launched one of the heaviest rockets into orbit, sending a roadster into space and landing two booster rockets.  NASA thought he was crazy and Jeff Bezos, who’s his competitor, has tried rebuking everything he’s ever done.  All of that was completely ignored when Falcon Heavy used 4-5 million pounds of TNT to launch itself off the platform, beaming what looked like the thickest lightsabres in the world from the tail and soaring into the sky — followed by endless cheers.

He got a ridiculous amount of praise online for it….because he did what so many people wouldn’t do.  He did what NASA is terrified of doing, and that’s doing the unthinkable – the impossible.

More often than not, the extra effort doesn’t come with dollar signs or energy.

After posting a few days on LinkedIn, I realized that maybe this could be very reputable and beneficial to what I’m doing with expanding my brand.  Just two days ago, after going over a part of an ESL Business book with some executives, I realized that LinkedIn proved to be extremely beneficial with recruiters checking my profile.

I later talked to my graphic designer and even before the banner was made for my social media platforms, she agreed to make one specifically for LinkedIn, which is the most important platform for my business and the growth.

That came with very little effort.

“If I set my sights on something, I’m going to ensure success by going all in and all out. I launch what I call “shock and awe” campaigns. During this same job hunt I suggested Alex pull out all the stops—attack from every possible front and do it relentlessly.”

Excerpt From: Darren Hardy. “The Compound Effect.” iBooks. https://itunes.apple.com/us/book/the-compound-effect/id1212219081?mt=11

Do better than expected

“Find the line of expectation and then exceed it. Even when it comes to the small stuff—or maybe especially then. Whatever I think the dress standard is going to be for any event, for example, I always choose to go at least one step above it. When I am unsure of the attire, I always err on the side of dressing better than I suppose the occasion calls for. Simple, I know, but it’s just one way I try to meet my standard to always do and be better than expected.” – Darren Hardy

The last note….

“I challenge you to adopt these philosophies in your own life—in your daily habits, disciplines and routines. Giving a little more time, energy, or thought to your efforts won’t just improve your results; it will multiply them. It takes very little extra to be EXTRAordinary. In all areas of your life, look for the multiplier opportunities where you can go a little further, push yourself a little harder, last a little longer, prepare a little better, and deliver a little bit more. Where can you do better and more than expected? When can you do the totally unexpected? Find as many opportunities for “WOW,” and the level and speed of your accomplishments will astonish you… and everyone else around you.” – Darren Hardy

Podcast

https://www.spreaker.com/user/thearseniobuckshow/darren-hardy-do-the-unexpected-do-better

Darren Hardy: Exceeding Expectations – Oprah’s Ultimate Viewers Win A Trip

During this particular Oprah video, she was going to surprise her audience with a trip to Australia.  However, the anticipation had some of the audience members in tears.  She mentioned Philadelphia, then mentioned New York and said, “well I was think this place, but I told myself that I wanted to do something…..bigger.”  The build-up was incredible, and then when she said the other side of the world, the audience erupted without even knowing where they were going until she rolled the airplane and confetti — expectations exceeded.

The gorgeous part about this is not only how warmhearted Oprah is, but the expectations that each individual was feeling at the time.  I mean the build-up was unlike anything I’ve ever seen before in my life.  This is especially something I want to do with my staff one day.

When I was first introduced the idea of developing a conversation curriculum, I had no idea that it would turn into a multi-million baht course and the most sought after one in the entire school.  In the beginning, they asked me “how much would you want for creating this course?”  I got paid maybe 200$ and the course has made between 50k-100k since then.  Was that fair? Obviously not….but we weren’t sure how well it was going to get.

Going forward, I’m getting insane ideas about uploading and delivering so many test preparation videos, courses and other things to beat all the other language centers.  Is this centered around me “getting back” at a language center? Of course not, because then I would never be happy, even if I did achieve the goal.  This is me building an empire.  I’m literally uploading a video per day and since then (over the last four days), the viewership and clicks on my website and YouTube page has sky-rocketed.

I asked myself at the time, “what can I do? What can I do to build more of an audience?” I was depleted and discouraged over the Christmas holiday because all forms of communication had hit a new low, but that was mainly because I stopped creating.  I had no idea that being consistent would allow me to take over all of YouTube and beat out every other “test prep” video.

That extra-mile means everything.

While I was working out this morning, I had Darren Hardy’s words in the back of my mind. “When that pain kicks in, you push more because that’s when the growth takes place.”

“Where in life can you do more than expected when you hit the wall?  Or where can you go for “WOW?” It doesn’t take a lot more effort, but the little extra multiplies your results many times over.  Whether you’re making calls, serving customers, reorganizing your team, acknowledging your spouse, going for a run, bench pressing, planning a date night, sharing time with your kids, whatever…..what’s the little extra you can do that exceeds expectations and accelerates your results?” – Darren Hardy

Podcast

https://www.spreaker.com/user/thearseniobuckshow

 

Darren Hardy: Multiplying Your Results

What if you can speed up the process and multiply your results?

Well, I just realized this recently.  With my test preparation videos, I wasn’t as consistent as I should’ve been last year.  I mean, even going back to the beginning stages of me uploading.  I launched two videos back in 2015 and stopping making videos all the way until last year.  Not good enough.

So, I asked myself how I can bring in more traffic? Staying consistent! DUH!

So over the last few days I decided that I would make one grammar preparation video, an incomplete sentence video, and one other specifically catering to TOEIC.  I also decided to throw at least one IELTS video in every week and possibly a TOEFL video.  That’s literally 5-6 videos a week.  In doing that, and just doing that the last few days, I’ve saw one of the biggest influxes in views, revenue, sharing and all other analytics in a three-day period EVER!

How did this happen? Consistency = multiplying results.

“Let’s say you’re weight training and your program calls for you to do twelve repetitions of a certain weight. Now, if you do the twelve, you’re fulfilling the expectation of your program. Great job. Stay consistent, and ultimately, you will see this discipline compound into powerful results for you. Yet, if you get to twelve, even if you’ve hit your max, and you push out another three to five reps, your impact on that set will be multiplied several times. You won’t just add a few reps to the aggregate of your workout. No. Those reps done after you hit your max will multiply your results. You’ve just pushed through the wall of your max. The previous reps just got you there. The real growth happens with what you do after you’re at the wall.”

Excerpt From: Darren Hardy. “The Compound Effect.” iBooks.

I mentioned in a recent podcast about how Ali never started counting his ab reps until the pain came in….because that’s when the growth took place.

Runners can attest to this, too.  Anytime I run a 10km race, the first km is a drag trying to control my breathing.  Shortly following that, I hit the wall probably halfway through.  It never has to do with my breathing but always the lower-body.  This is the “growth” stage of the race.  Another instance was when I was doing a recent strength training class in the evening.  After a few side squats with the kettlebell, I felt not pain, but soreness in my hamstrings and glutes.  I continued fighting through the discomfort and after the workout and in the ensuing couple of days, I could barely even walk.  However, when my muscle soreness goes away, I’ll be a hell of a lot stronger than before.

“Viewing yourself as your toughest competitor is one of the best ways to multiply your results. Go above and beyond when you hit the wall. Another way to multiply your results is pushing past what other people expect of you—doing more than “enough.” – Darren Hardy

Podcast

https://www.spreaker.com/user/thearseniobuckshow/darren-hardy-multiplying-your-results

Darren Hardy: Chapter 6 – Acceleration

First time I did a Tough Mudder in Melbourne, Australia, I was stoked.  I mean I remember the long drive there, the cool temperatures, the enthusiasts at a pit-stop along the way wearing leggings.  I mean the build up was insane.  My best friend, Joy, was just driving casually; meanwhile, the energy going through my body was unimaginable and I was just tapping my feet nervously while gazing away at the gorgeous green hills.  This was that moment of truth.  This was that moment that everything that had taken place in Thailand would be completely disrupted.  This was Arsenio versus Arsenio.  This was literally gathering up all this embattled pain and hammering it on this course.

Well the race had begun and in the first km, I was gassed. LOL! I built up some momentum with the Big Mo, and around the 6km-8km mark, the race got increasingly fun.  Music was on point, gorgeous Chinese-Australian women everywhere ( just saying – lol), and I was rapping and dancing during one obstacle.

However, when the half-way mark came, the wall came.  The mental barrier.  The wall that goes up in the mind of humanity when you just wanna give up.  .

I recall looking up the hill and seeing these ants sprawled everywhere.  Were they ants? Of course not….they were people straggling off in the distance, going up the goliath that towered over me.  I was terrified and said, “I think it’s time to give up.”

That’s when you hit the wall.  This could be in physical exertion, or just life in general.  That point when your mind says, “enough.”

Another instance was in the south of Thailand at a place called Lan Saka.  I thought it was going to be a mellow and cool bike ride with my neighbors from across the street, but without the proper biking shorts, it turned into a painful haul.  Halfway in it we were going up yet again…..hills.  Hills that didn’t make any sense.  Again, I recall looking up this particular hill and saying, “no, there’s no way I can go up.”

I told the other rider, “mai dai krap.”  Which is a proper way of saying “cannot.” He, with just one hand, began pushing me up this hill.  I was yelling in sheer anger, feeling the absolute burn running through my thighs and I was saying “I CAN’T DO IT!”  He kept saying, “pai! PAI!” Meaning “go! GO!”

I reached the “summit” and there it was….ecstasy showered with pain and laughter.

There is a point at which you “hit the wall” and come face to face with your true inner character. Suddenly, all the projections and ideas you had about yourself are stripped away and you’re left with the naked truth.

“When conditions are great, things are easy, there aren’t any distractions, no one is interrupting, temptations aren’t luring, and nothing is disturbing your stride; that too is when most everyone else does great. It’s not until situations are difficult, when problems come up and temptation is great, that you get to prove your worthiness for progress. As Jim Rohn would say, “Don’t wish it were easier; wish you were better.”
When you hit the wall in your disciplines, routines, rhythms, and consistency, realize that’s when you are separating yourself from your old self, scaling that wall, and finding your new powerful, triumphant, and victorious self.”

Excerpt From: Darren Hardy. “The Compound Effect.” iBooks.

Podcast

Darren Hardy: Environment – Change Your Views; Change Your Perspective

There are some things I’ve already covered throughout my podcasts that I’ve read in this book, but I’ll just share them briefly with you before going into changing your “perspective.”

Peak-Performance Partner

Finding or having someone in your expanded associations who’s committed to personal growth is extremely important.  Remember I talked about Henry Ford, Harvey Firestone and Thomas Edison going to a cabin up in the mountains, forming their mastermind group, right?

Example, I will be doing a bi-weekly podcast with a cryptocurrency investor/trainer/health guru who at the time (last Thursday) gave me so much information in terms of life.  Not only that, it was the frequency that I was on and us putting together our thoughts that propelled me to landing three job interviews this week.  It’s amazing beyond belief seeing what has happened since having someone in my “close” circle who’s committed and as positive as I am.  Remember, subtract one loser friend and put a better one in.

Invest In Mentorship

This is something I would do as a last resort.  Example, I’m a mentor already.  I have a friend (and maybe more *wink wink*) who I was giving a lot of valuable information to about my life and relating things that can enable her to cultivate a positive mindset.  Did I charge? Absolutely not.  There’s a mentor everywhere you look who’s willing to take you under their wings for free; not to mention there’s YouTube and daily videos of some of the greatest motivational, inspirational and transformation coaches out there that are readily available.

Environment

You have the story of Jim Carey going up on Mulholland Drive every evening, visualizing is perfect life and having money.  You have the great AAAAAAAAAAA who would take a taxi to a very wealthy side of town on a routine basis.  Tom Bilyeu, who’s the founder and CEO of quest nutrition, took a troubled African American child to a different side of Los Angeles to show him “hey, this stuff does exist.”

I just don’t understand the generality or willingness to “not move” in terms of people who live in poverty-infested neighborhoods.  Now maybe it’s different in Africa, Indonesia, India, Bangladesh and whatnot, but America, given the vast opinion of being the “greatest country on the planet,” has tons of towns/cities that are drowned in violence.

Example, my mother has lived in the same horrendous neighborhood the past two-decades and has no sights on leaving, yet in terms of her life, she’s been doing the same things and has been around the same people for that same amount of time.  Is that a coincidence?

Another example would be where I lived when I first moved into the area known as “Rangsit,” Thailand.  My first apartment complex had quite a few prostitutes and people who were in my business 24/7.  The Thai mindset here is I would bring over students and Thais would label them as hookers.  Why? Because I’m a foreigner.  I got into a massive argument that stemmed from people constantly being in my business and I blew up.  Then, I realized one morning “why the hell am I living in this slummy ass neighborhood?” I got up and left.  I then found myself in an apartment, which was in the middle of a parking lot, arguing with security because of the surrounding slums playing loud music.  What did I do? I left.

Found another condominium, which I stayed for 22 months and was a massive upgrade from the previous ones.  However, being around slum mindsets (people who hold their purses tight when I walk by them; people who cover their noses; or people who turn their heads immediately after looking at me)….it took a toll on my mind.

I picked up and left….although my present job was still there.  Now, my I’ve free’d up those attention units because now I see people who smile all the time, hold the door open for me, want to chat, and office workers who don’t give me dirty looks.

“The dream in your heart may be bigger than the environment in which you find yourself. Sometimes you have to get out of that environment to see that dream fulfilled. It’s like planting an oak sapling in a pot. Once it becomes rootbound, its growth is limited. It needs a great space to become a mighty oak. So do you.
When I talk about your environment, I’m not just referring to where you live. I’m referring to whatever surrounds you. Creating a positive environment to support your success means clearing out all the clutter in your life. Not just the physical clutter that makes it hard for you to work productively and efficiently (although that’s important too!), but also the psychic clutter of whatever around you isn’t working, whatever’s broken, whatever makes you cringe. Each and every incomplete thing in your life exerts a draining force on you, sucking the energy of accomplishment and success out of you as surely as a vampire stealing your blood. Every incomplete promise, commitment, and agreement saps your strength because it blocks your momentum and inhibits your ability to move forward. Incomplete tasks keep calling you back to the past to take care of them. So think about what you can complete today.  Additionally, when you’re creating an environment to support your goals, remember that you get in life what you tolerate. This is true in every area of your life—particularly within your relationships with family, friends, and colleagues. What you have decided to tolerate is also reflected in the situations and circumstances of your life right now. Put another way, you will get in life what you accept and expect you are worthy of.
If you tolerate disrespect, you will be disrespected. If you tolerate people being late and making you wait, people will show up late for you. If you tolerate being underpaid and overworked, that will continue for you. If you tolerate your body being overweight, tired, and perpetually sick, it will be.”

Excerpt From: Darren Hardy. “The Compound Effect.” iBooks.

Podcast

 

Darren Hardy: Disassociations, Limited Associations & Expanded Associations

I had to weed out some people in my life who aren’t trying to cultivate the right mindset.  I can’t be around complainers.  This is why I ended up getting scrutinized at work because I was no longer part of the “ain’t it awful” club, which is the older Gen X and B men who literally sit in a circle and complain about the country’s woes.

This was the beginning.  When I started removing the garbage from my life, I had so much more time to focus on the good.  Remember the conversation I had on my podcast when I told you about a particular individual (the snake who tried getting me fired 2 years ago)?  Yeah, finished work at 5pm and left with him back to the other side of town.  The amount of bitching he did for the ensuing 45 minutes made me feel so horrible about life, yet he had a girlfriend was was less than half his age and he was also anglo.  I needed to draw the line once and for all, and when I did just that, everyone began ignoring me.  Shit.  Happens.

Another individual I have to mention is the “apparent best friend” who decided to get into a relationship before I bolted to America.  This individual got so angry at me that she stopped talking to me.  This was mid-October – and later – I had yet another one of those difficult Thailand moments that she wasn’t there to support me and guide me through because of her ego.

I told myself, “it was first October 2014 when she rarely spoke to me.  Now it’s October of 2017? She has failed to come through again? She’s off the list.”

I cancelled my ticket based off instinct.  Days later I got removed from a terrible company and threatened by someone who has never liked me to this date.  Did she shove her personal wants aside to encourage me through the dark clouds? Absolutely not.

I’m quick to remove people.  If I feel someone no longer serves a purpose or becomes very bitchy, I’m done.  You need to also put up those boundaries.

Limited Associations

Gary Vee spoke about this recently.  If it’s very difficult to just remove someone in the entire form, just reduce the amount of time you spend with them.

You have your three minute, three hour, three day, and vacation type of people.

It’s hard for me to go into the teachers room with teachers in there because those are three-second beings (lol).  Look at the three minute people in your life.  When does the conversation go completely south? Have you ever been on a vacation with someone and you wanted to kill them by it’s end? Because they’re not a vacation type of person!

Expanded Associations

Reach out to the people who have or influence you in different ways.  A great example of this would be investor/influencer that I workout with.  She’s an amazing person.  Yes, she’s Thai — and her husband is — too.  However, being around them just makes me so incredibly happy and inspired.  Seeing her successful FB photos of her being in Bali inspires me like crazy.  Another girl, by the name of Praew, has some of the highest energy I’ve seen in five years living here.  I would love to go out with her to a lounge and talk business.  Look for people who have those “attractive” personal qualities.  Join organizations, businesses, health clubs (such as what I joined to meet the above people) and be around these people who can ultimately be mentors.

Podcast

https://www.spreaker.com/user/thearseniobuckshow/darren-hardy-disassociations-limited-ass

Routine Power

Some of our best intentions fail because we don’t have a system of execution. When it comes down to it, your new attitudes and behaviors must be incorporated into your monthly, weekly, and daily routines to affect any real, positive change. A routine is something you do every day without fail, so that eventually, like brushing your teeth or putting on your seatbelt, you do it without conscious thought. Similar to our discussion in the Habits section, if you look at anything you do that’s successful, you’ll see that you’ve probably developed a routine for it. These routines ease life’s stresses by making our actions automatic and effective. To reach new goals and develop new habits, it’s necessary to create new routines to support your objectives.

Excerpt From: Darren Hardy. “The Compound Effect.” iBooks.

Remember what I said a couple days ago? I know what I said because I was sitting there, reading and speaking it when I said it (name the movie).

When I first moved to Thailand, I always had the habit of putting my seatbelt on.  After a while, and seeing that there weren’t any readily ready seat belts in the majority of transportation in Thailand, I stopped using it.  That’s one of the worst habits ever.  And you know what, Thailand has one of the worst traffic fatality rates in the world (second – behind Libya).  You want to know why? You guessed it!

The key to becoming world-class in your endeavors is to build your performance around world-class routines. It can be difficult, even futile, to predict or control what will show up in the middle of your workday. But you can almost always control how your day starts and ends. I have routines for both. I’ll share aspects of each here to give you some ideas and to help you better understand the power and importance of building your new behaviors into disciplined routines. Starting with my goals in mind, I designed my behaviors and routines accordingly. Perhaps in sharing some of what works for me, you’ll identify strategies you’d like to try.”

And like I shared with you a few days ago, know that this is the most important aspect of it all.   For those of you who want to know Darren Hardy’s Routine, tune into my podcast!

Podcast

https://www.spreaker.com/user/thearseniobuckshow/momentum-continued-darren-hardys-morning