Interviewee #15 – Moustafa Sano On Fitness, Learning Five Languages, & Fitting In

It was an afternoon when I received a few video messages in my Instagram inbox.  Here was a guy that I’ve never met before sending me videos.  I was a bit adamant in terms of opening those videos, but I’m glad I did because it ended up  being one of the most inspirational guys ever!

 

Get in touch with Moustafa Sano of Malaysia

– About fitting in, learning 5 languages and fitness.

 

Links:

 

Things we discussed:

  • Rite of passage in our pre – teen years.
  • Different cultures, values and morals.
  • Understanding of other cultures are important.
  • People’s stories because people deserve to be listened to.
  • Different cultures have different ways of communication.
  • Pain turned to sports without realising it was self – expression to pain.
  • Self – image is important.
  • Need to have an empathy.
  • Fitness is important.
  • Don’t keep your pain inside you.
  • Pain is another key to success.
  • Racial tension or racism in Malaysia.
  • Learning Malay language (Bahasa) through playing football within his neighbourhood.
  • Languages are a way to bridge the gap between foreigners and locals.
  • Talking about personal development on “empathy”.
  • Benefits of reading – how you contextualise?
  • Personal development books that change your life and skills.
  • Pain is a good form of motivation.
  • Being proactive vs reactive.
  • Motivation comes from your morals and values and live life through your imagination.
  • The best way to learn a languages is by getting yourself outside — not by writing.
  • Learn about people’s languages.
  • Watching movies and listening to podcasts.
  • Learning different cultural – expressions through watching movies.
  • Talking about paradigm shifting of habits to growth.
  • Read more, talk more and train or challenge your brain to keep yourself fit in terms of spirituality.
  • The power of giving.
  • Believe in your words.
  • Life filled with fulfilment when you give people more.
  • The impact that you try to give to this world and the people.
  • The purpose of suffering and pain.

 

Thank you for listening!

 

Thank you so much for joining me for this podcast. Please do write down some feedbacks and comments. Please do share this podcast to your social media.

 

Links:

 

Podcast

Put A “Stop Loss” Order On Your Worries: Visa Madness Turned Multiple Trips

I covered this particular podcast a long time ago, but this has transformed COMPLETELY the way I view situations.  Putting a stop-loss on something can range from a unreliable friend that shows up late to meals, to dealing with mundane tasks.  If there’s something that’s bugging you, put a stop-loss on it, figure it out within a 10-minute time-frame, and move on.

Visa Madness

So, today I came across a situation that I had to really think things through.  After talking to myself in a voice message to one of my content writers, I figured it out instantaneously.

Because immigration in Thailand is a massive pain in the ass, my documents wouldn’t be ready for me to get my visa on July 9th, a trip that has already been booked and paid for.  What does this mean? That means I’m going to Malaysia from the 8th to the 10th next month and I won’t even obtain a visa while I’m there.

My historical self would’ve quickly jumped around, pouting, acting like the end of the world is here.  However, let’s put this into perspective and watch the stop-loss.

  • I have to leave the country no matter what, so buying the flight was perfect.
  • Two nights in Malaysia? Extra night and loss of $100 USD? Not so fast.  Meeting with my content writer, workout/podcast/meal/Instagram videos with a powerlifter who’s an entrepreneur, and a nice two-day trip.
  • July 27th-30th = Spartan Beast Malaysia…so I have to go back in 18 days already.
  • Visa trip = August 25th.

“Arsenio, ok….all planned out.  What about the money?”  I save an insane amount and I still travel and pay all my bills.  $100 RT ticket to Malaysia and a night or two (preferably two) in a hotel.  Spend next-to-nothing and that’s it! I win!

See, this is how you evaluate situations.  Am I in a hurry to get the visa? Absolutely NOT.  I can give a damn! That’s why I’m pushing it back even further because I simply don’t give a damn.  Yes, I have to travel a heck of a lot more often, but who the hell would complain about traveling?!

Day-tight Compartments: Anxiety & “What Am I Supposed To Do” Happened

Touch a button and hear, at every level of your life, the iron doors shutting out the Past – the dead yesterdays.  Touch another and shut off, with a metal curtain, the Future – the unborn tomorrows.  Then you are safe – safe for today!  . . . Shut off the past! Let the dead past bury its dead . . . Shut out the yesterdays which have lighted fools the way to dust death . . . The load of tomorrow, added to that of yesterday, carried, makes the strongest falter.  Shut off the future as tightly as the past . . . The future is today . . . . There is no tomorrow.  The day man’s salvation is now.  Waste of energy, mental distress, nervous worries dog the steps of a man who is anxious about the future . . . Shut close, then, the great fore and aft bulkheads, and prepare to cultivate the habit of a life of ‘day-tight-compartments.’ ” – Dale Carnegie

When I read this a few days ago, I had weight lift off my shoulders.  It was a vortex of melancholy.  I was sitting on my bed, hunched over, and these thoughts started bearing down on me.  I get worked up when jobs send me jobs, stay quiet for about a week, then I have to ask them, “what happened?”  and when I do, they say “sorry, they chose another teacher.”

This is very infuriating, as what I’ve said a many times before, so I took charge.  I decided to email them back and I went on a clean, concise rant before blocking the email.

I won’t sit around and weight for people to choose me at the end of the stick because of obvious reasons.

I woke up the next morning and said, “what have I done?!”  But, in the end, did I want to work for a place like that anyways? Absolutely not.

So what did I do? I was succumbed by worry – worry that didn’t make any sense.  I look at my bank accounts and say, “I’m actually pretty good right now.”  I look at my income for this month, and I’m actually in a pretty good surplus.  So what the hell is it that I’m worried about?

The Future

I had to revert to the manual.  The future, and thinking about all the what ifs, will drive us insane.  It drives a lot of people to insanity, depression, and death.  As all of you have heard a many of times, we can only control the things that are happening at that moment – nothing else.  We get so caught up in the “what’s going to happen next month? I don’t have anything coming up? Omg. I’m in trouble!” However, this has happened so much in terms of my life even back in Australia.

I was a dental temp and boy, during the Christmas holidays, I was completely out of money.  I had all my money in an account I had no access to and banks were closed for like 2 weeks.  Not only that, but being a dental temp, a lot of offices are on vacation.  It picked back-up (obviously after Christmas), but my life was never in real danger, nor is it here (given the fact that expenses are much cheaper).  I know what I’m doing and I know where I’m going in life right now, so the goal is to stay focused.

Podcast

Darren Hardy: Associations – Who’s Influencing You?

Who do you spend the most time with?

Honestly, ask yourself this question because within it lies the answer to all your sorrows.  Are you constantly around negative people? Do I have to bring this up AGAIN? You are who your closest five friends are.  Just do me a favor and drop one loser friend out of your life.  Ok, if you don’t want to expunge the human being because he’s been your friend all your life, just reduce the amount of time you talk to him/her for.  Go form speaking three times a day to him/her – to two times a day.  It will make a difference.

When I first moved to Bangkok, I had no idea that I developed a hell of an intuition for the 11 months I was in Las Vegas (after my Australia visa finished).  What happened was I had a friend.  This friend had a “bad” job….not even sure how I met her (she was a soapy massage girl).  When I met her for the second time ever, I saw the amount of bad energy she had.  The feeling of pain (agony), discontent, anger, and depression that was around her was unbearable.  I recall looking into her eyes at one point and I immediately looked away.  When I left to my main province in job in southeast Thailand, I never spoke to her again.

Later, I had a couple friends by the name of Mook and Ploy who were very nice individuals.  I realized then that I should probably be around nice people; rather than soapy massage girls (comical – I know).

Do you spend time around people who want more in life, or people who are considered “losers?”

Who are the people you most admire?

Ahhhh….the sound of Les Brown’s voice is amazing.  Many of you reading this blog probably admire your parents, your best friends, even the dog down the road.  By all means…we have different means of inspiration, but my parent (my mother…I don’t consider Willie my parent) fueled my inspiration in 2006 when she gave me all rights to my life.  Magnificent human being.  After that, I found my inspiration on YouTube in 2015 – the last year I constantly victimized myself.   Lisa Nichols, Les Brown, Tony Robbins, Tim Ferris, Napoleon Hill, Dale Carnegie, and other books and videos disrupted my biochemistry and I began to believe in myself again – oh, most notably – Jack Canfield.

How about you? Do you admire sports stars? Or, do you admire historical figures of the past? 

Are those two groups of people exactly the same? 

They’re all the same in terms of inspiration and what they preach and teach about.

Eventually, over the course of x amount of months, whoever you spend time with most….you begin to eat what they eat, talk what they talk, walk how they walk, dress like they dress, treat people how they treat people, read what they read.  You name it…you become it.

Think of a friend who orders the greasy food or cocktails before dinner (although I love me some oven-baked chicken and long islands from time-to-time), and if you hang out with them enough, you’ll know that it’s a very ugly habit.  Just recently I met a girl who was saying, “I hate working out. It’s boring. It’s not fun.  I’m lazy…and I like being fat.”  Stay around someone like that long enough and you’ll become that person.  Meanwhile, your other friends order healthy food and talk about the inspiring books they’re reading and their ambitions in their businesses, and you begin to assimilate their behaviors and habits. You read and talk about what they talk about, you see the movies they’re excited about, and you go to the places they recommend.

This was one of the biggest deciding factors in leaving America permanently.  I knew if I had stuck around in my families sorrows, I too, would become part of their sorrows.  The 11 months from June 2012 – May 2013 were some of the most difficult months of my life.  The constant nagging, not having enough money comments, complaining about one’s boyfriend, bad-mouthing people from work….it wore me out.  Luckily, I purchased a pair of Bose Headphones, which was one of the smartest purchases I’ve ever made in my life, in Australia earlier in 2012.  Nonetheless, you can’t live a positive life around negative people.

So, ask yourself now: “what’s the combined average income, health, and attitudes of the people you spend the most time with?”

When I was in Australia last year, my ex-friend (yeah, my ex-friend) had become a nurse.  Her income was much more than mine, but it inspired me.  My best friend in New York makes more than me.  That also inspires me.  Those are, or were my closest friends.  I don’t have to worry about this because I’m around my students the majority of the time.  So after a long work day, I don’t go hang out with friends because I have to prepare everything for the next day.

However, you….the reader….you need to write down the names of those five people. Write down the main characteristics.  Look at where they’re going in life, the relationships they have with other people.  Is that list ok for you. Are you heading in the right direction?

Podcast

Lewis Howes: Joker Mask – Part II

“Like many people, I want to avoid being the dark cloud in other people’s lives, so I pretend things are sunny, even when they are obviously not. So I keep things light, or at surface level. I want to talk about other people. I want to focus on other people’s challenges because focusing on my own feels more vulnerable.”

Excerpt From: Lewis Howes. “The Mask of Masculinity.” iBooks.

But when you’re able to spew your problems out and talk to people about them, like Dale Carnegie once said, you’re able to lift all of that off your chest.

If I can look back at the most “depressed” moments of my life, one coming for only 5-minutes back in 2014, it all had to do with my personal feelings and vendetta.  In 2014, I was denied jobs, face-to-face, because of being African American.  I was in the back of a taxi circling around an area of Bangkok (invasive technique taxi drivers do in Bangkok to rake up the meter), and at the given moment I felt like I was just a spec in the world.  I snapped out of it within minutes.

Also, being dismissed in a relationship in 2009 left me in absolute shambles.  It was the darkest cloud hanging over me, simply because it was my first love.  It took two-months to shake it off, but I did and later went to Australia for the first time in my life that summer.

In 2003, I was surely depressed in the latter portion of the year, but this revolved around my mother not having a job, no food in the house, and two girls not wanting anything to do with me.  This developed anger, which I talked about in an earlier podcast/blog, but I ended up getting over it by joining Track & Field – the best sport to join because you can only place blame on yourself.

I really need to tell this story that I read in Dale Carnegie’s ‘How To Stop Worrying And Start Living.’

Mrs. Moon’s Story

In December, a number of years ago, I was engulfed in a feeling of sorrow and self-pity.  After several years of happy married life, I had lost my husband.  As the Christmas holidays approached, my sadness deepened. I had never spent a Christmas alone in all my life; and I dreaded to see this Christmas come.  Friends had invited me to spend Christmas with them.  But I did not feel up to any gaiety.  I knew I would be a wet blanket at any party.  So, I refused their kind invitations.  As Christmas eve approached, I was more and more overwhelmed with self-pity.  True, I should have been thankful for many things, as all of us have many things for which to be thankful.  The day before christmas, I left my office at 3pm in the afternoon and started walking aimlessly on a street, hoping that I might banish my self-pity and melancholy the avenue was jammed with happy crowds — scenes that brought back memories of happy years that were gone.  I just couldn’t bear the thought of going home to a lonely and empty apartment.  I was bewildered.  I didn’t know what to do.  I couldn’t keep the tears back.  After walking aimlessly for an hour or so, I found myself in front of a bus terminal.  I remember that my husband and I had often boarded an unknown bus for adventure, so I boarded the first bus I found at the station.  After cross the Hudson River and riding for some time, I heard the bus conductor say, ‘Last stop, lady.’  I got off.  I didn’t even know the name of the town.  It was a quiet and peaceful little place.  While waiting for the next bus home, I started walking up a residential street.  As I passed a church, I heard the beautiful strains of “Silent Night.” I went in.  The church was empty except for the organist.  I sat down unnoticed in one of the pews.  The lights from the gaily decorated Christmas tree made the decorations seem like myriads of stars dancing in the moonbeams.  The long-drawn cadences of the music — and the fact that I had forget to eat since morning — made me drowsy.  I went to sleep.

When I awoke, there were two small children who had apparently come in to see the Christmas tree.  One said, “I wonder if Santa Claus brought her.”

The children were terrified when I woke up, but I told them I wouldn’t hurt them.  They were poorly dressed.  I asked them where their mother and daddy were.  “We ain’t got no mother and daddy,” they said. They were orphans.  They made me feel ashamed of my sorrow and self-pity.  I went on to buy them food and refreshments, and I banished my depression instantaneously.

See, in the book they would call this “masking a problem,” but I would disagree completely.  This is basically realizing that you have it well.  There has to be a deeper story to why people, of all statuses, commit suicide.  Robin Williams had all the money, a wife, oscars, and everything – but he ultimately killed himself.  So I will ask again: “what is depression?”

“Beneath the jokes is often a sadness or some problem. Behind the mask—no matter how funny or entertaining—is a real person. Psychologist Edward Dreyfus puts it even more directly: “Perhaps we should listen more attentively to those who hide behind the mask of humor. Perhaps we should be asking them to whom do they turn to make them laugh? Perhaps we should spend a little more effort in seeing the person behind the mask.” If we had listened to what Robin Williams was saying behind his mask, I wonder what we would have heard.”

Excerpt From: Lewis Howes. “The Mask of Masculinity.” iBooks.

Maybe people, who are comedians, just love making people laugh for the sake of bringing joy to the world?

“So many comedians/funny people will tell you they grew up feeling hopelessly inadequate, hideously ugly, impossibly fat, meekly small, and direly insignificant. These deep-rooted insecurities are what provided them with a die-hard desire and unrelenting ambition to be seen, respected, and accepted by their peers. Society will accept you for your flaws, so long as you’re funny. Taking on the role as the class clown at school is the ultimate way for the incessantly bullied kid to gain popularity. – Author Zara

Humor becomes the ultimate mask—one that gets you what you’ve always wanted (acceptance) for being the opposite of who you’ve always been (different). Not surprisingly, this detachment from the emotions and the identity hidden behind the mask can have profound effects on relationships, on professional life, and on overall happiness.” – Lewis Howes

Excerpt From: Lewis Howes. “The Mask of Masculinity.” iBooks.

I read this and I just couldn’t relate.  This part of the book is focusing on how bad “comedy” may be.  So someone, like myself, who loves to make someone laugh, is hiding something? Is that it? Absolutely not.  I know that the more we laugh and have those feelings of joy, the more we attract to us more of those feelings that will keep pushing us to a spiritual and joy “high.”

What Robin Williams had was something much more deep-rooted in his childhood.  Kevin Hart, who’s a comedian, had very little when he was growing up.  He used all of the transgressions in the past as comedy today.  He’s not hiding a thing….or so I believe.

Podcast

Napoleon Hill’s Cooperation + Morning Ritual + How The Body Works

I was on the BTS Skytrain in the heart of Bangkok glaring out one of the windows just before the evening when I heard Valuetainment talking about the morning rituals of a lot of successful people.  Having already made a couple of blogs and podcasts on morning routine, I know this could become redundant until I saw what Napoleon Hill had done for his.

First: I drink a cup of hot water when I first get up in the morning, before I have breakfast.

Second: My breakfast consists of rolls made of whole wheat and bran, breakfast cereal, fruit, soft-boiled eggs once in a while, and coffee.  For lunch I eat vegetables (most any kind), whole wheat bread and a glass of buttermilk.  Supper, a well-cooked steak once or twice a week, vegetables, especially lettuce, and coffee.

Third: I walk an average of ten miles a day: five miles into the country and five miles back, using this period for meditation and thought.  Perhaps the thinking is as valuable, as a health build, as the walk.

Fourth: I like across a straight bottom chair, flat on my back, with most of my weight resting on the small of my back, with my head and arms relaxed completely, until they almost touch the floor.  This gives the nervous energy of my body an opportunity to balance properly and distribute itself, and ten minutes in this position will completely relieve all signs of fatigue, no matter how tired I may be.

Fifth: I take a hot shower bath, followed immediately by a cold shower, every day, usually in the morning when I first get up.

After reading through this in Napoleon Hill’s book, the fifth one capture my eyes.  Just yesterday I heard Patrick Bet-David talking about Tony Robbins plunge into cold water for one-minute before jumping into hot water.  He, unlike most people, is one of the very few people that do the plunge.  I had no idea where he got it, but now I do.

He goes on to talk about the importance of keeping his health in tip-top shape, although not laying so much stress upon the importance of keeping the intestines clean.  He does it by drinking water.

For more than fifteen years at the time of writing, there wasn’t a day that went by that he got a headache.

I love the way he put it in his book.

You cannot be a person of action if you permit yourself to go without proper physical attention until auto-intoxication takes your brain and kneads it into an inoperative mass that resembles a ball of putty.  Neither can you be a person of action if you eat the usual devitalized concoction called “white bread: *which has had all the real food value removed from it and twice as much meat as your system can digest and properly dispose of.

You cannot be a person of action if you run to the pill bottle every time you have, or imagine you have, an ache or pain, or swallow an aspirin tablet every time your intestines call on your brain for a douche bag of water and a spoonful of salt for cleansing purposes.

You cannot be a person of action if you overeat and under-exercise.

You cannot be a person of action if you read the patent medicine booklets and begin to imagine yourself ailing with the symptoms described by the clever advertisement writer who has reached your pocket book through the power of suggestion.

I will reiterate about the enemy which you must conquer before it conquers you – worry.

Worry, envy, jealousy, hatred, doubt, fear….all of these are states of mind that are fatal to taking action.

Any of these can destroy the digestive process and cause physical damage, just as Dale Carnegie said in his ‘How To Stop Worrying And Start Living’ book.  Stomach ulcers…ring a bell?

To keep myself in a positive frame of mind, I’ve discovered a very effective “gloom-chaser.”

LAUGHING!

Five minutes of this sort of mental and physical exercise can free yourself from all negative tendencies.

Podcast 

https://www.spreaker.com/user/thearseniobuckshow/napoleon-hills-cooperation-morning-ritua

Wheel of Life: Merry Christmas! The Most Successful Year of My Life!

MERRY CHRISTMAS to ABSOLUTELY EVERYONE AROUND THE WORLD!

Yes, did it in caps because it’s a big deal.

Guys and gals, Christmas is celebrated in some cultures as a religious holiday, but I celebrate it as a day to live, love, and laugh.  I don’t go to church, nor do I have a religion.  My religion is universal (like the universe) unity.  I try to spread as much love into the atmosphere as possible…..so for those of you with different customs, cultures, creed and other things, don’t let people say to you, “you can’t celebrate Christmas because it’s a Christian holiday.”  No, it’s a holiday at the end of the year whereas you can look back and enjoy how much you’ve progressed.

This year has been a year of change, progression, obstacles, and unbelievable rewards.  If I talk about countries I’ve traveled to, it’s been the biggest success in my life.  Personal development has definitely been the best EVER.  Career, although with the current blockage going on for the next couple of weeks, has been on the rise.  How so? Because life doesn’t revolve just around a primary job.  My podcast, YouTube, speaking, writing, etc., has gone up significantly.  Better yet, let me just break down each one by category.

Career – 9.5

I think the majority of this came at around May when I began to rebel against the primary “job.”  I felt that the job had gone stagnant.  It was the same thing happening over and over.  Same bs wage while the upper folks make hundreds of thousands/millions of baht….so then I got a phone call.  That “thing” was accepted, that lead to two projects, that’s leading to two massive projects in back-to-back months (February).  Just get this – everyone.  If I hadn’t accept that job on the weekend, I wouldn’t have gotten all these opportunities to begin with.  That moment they told me they had someone of power….I hurried to say, “ok.”  I accepted it, and I had to battle with this lose-ended, primary job (pretty much finished) to keep it.  That lead to three massive projects throughout the year that lead me to million baht earners.

Enough with that.  Podcast? I think over 100 countries listened to me worldwide.  YouTube? So many countries tune into my videos around the world.  Book? Twitter? Instagram? Interviewing people all over America? CHECKS ALL AROUND!

Hobbies & Fun – 8.5

It wasn’t even the Tough Mudder, Spartan Race (2x), and going to Maldives that made this an 8.5, but it was more of the decision that I made just a few weeks ago, cancelling a morning class to be around entrepreneurs and great people. I’ve been neglecting “fun” in my diet for so long.  I would work 9 hours on Saturday and Sunday, but ultimately make the same wage for the last four years? I mean I had no idea I can work two hours in Bangkok and make the same wage in 2 there compared to 9 in the outskirts.  So, now that my time is free(ing) up, and now that I’m preparing for my new life, I’m definitely going to incorporate “fun” into my life next year on a routine basis.  Now, does that mean going out? Nope. I hate going out unless it’s a business meeting and socializing to make connections.  I’m talking about meeting likeminded people and having time to myself and for my my projects.  No more 8-11 hour days on garbage wages.  It’s time for 2-4 hour days and have the rest of the day to do big things.  Nonetheless, It’s beginning to happen!

Wealth – 9.5

Look, I was able to to go back to America, travel to Sedona, layovers in Korea, Singapore and Japan, Maldives, Malaysia, do two Spartan races while staying at the Sheraton for the first time in my life.  These are massive accomplishments; and with all of with being stated, I still have the most saved up at the end of the year at any point in my life.

Yes, Crypto currency is what I’m going to start looking into to top off the year (so I have extra money on the side), but the wealth will come when I start looking.  Well, that has come and gone.  Why?  I realized that I can get paid 450% more per hour working in Bangkok then my current job.  I want to make more money in less time.  If I can work two-hours a day, amassing a total of a nine-hour work day at my present job, it’s time to go!

Big ideas, projects, jobs, and places to grow is coming up!

Personal Development – 9.5

Dale Carnegie’s ‘How To Stop Worrying & Start Living’ helped the HELL out of me this year.  I’m going to tell you why.  If I think about the current job situation going on – the company having a ‘secret santa’ without me, although they employ some of the most malicious teachers….what’s the worse that can happen? They fire me, and then my work permit automatically cancels and I can begin the new life at the beginning of the year.  That worse case scenario is a golden case scenario.

Physical Environment – 9.0

Because I was able to take the risk of be ostricized at my present workplace, I was rewarded with three massive projects, two unique students, and the teaching of millionaires.  This is what made my physical environment skyrocket.  The things that happened the way they did were suppose to happen.  Because they did, I decided to move to a very gorgeous area of Bangkok.  If I can just sit here and close my eyes, envisioning how it would be spending Christmas at my old condo, I would be depressed.  Same neighborhood, same people, same lifestyle.  Enough was enough…and now I just went running down these gorgeous streets where everyone was smiling.  It’s out there, people.  You just have to search for it.

Health – 8.5

Tough Mudder in Phoenix, Spartan Super in Malaysia, Spartan Sprint in Chon Buri, Thailand.  My body has transformed, I workout at the best gym ever and I’m around a supporting cast of people, and now that I’m living in my new place, I cook more often because I have an AMAZING kitchen.

Family & Friends – 4

This category took a massive hit.  From a best friend completely disappearing on me after cancelling my trip, to two individuals who I thought were developing friends vanishing.  What to do in the new year? In the podcast. 

Romantic Relationships – X

Although I did have a couple of opportunities this year to make something happened, it ultimately failed on me.  Funny stories in the podcast down below!

 

Podcast

Dale Carnegie’s ‘How To Win Friends & Influence People’ – Full Book Review + Podcasts From My Favorite Chapters

It’s been a long time since I’ve done podcasts and blogs on this particular book because I thought the substantial amount of great material dwindled towards the end.  So, here are my best chapter and podcasts down below if you want to listen on in!

 

Do This & You’ll Be Welcomed Anywhere

If we want to make friends, let’s greet people with animation and enthusiasm. When somebody calls you on the telephone use the same psychology. Say “Hello” in tones that bespeak how pleased you are to have the person call. Many companies train their telephone operators to greet all callers in a tone of voice that radiates interest and enthusiasm. The caller feels the company is concerned about them. Let’s remember that when we answer the telephone tomorrow.

Showing a genuine interest in others not only wins friends for you, but may develop in its customers a loyalty to your company.

“I would like you to know how much I appreciate your staff. Everyone is so courteous, polite and helpful. What a pleasure it is, after waiting on a long line, to have the teller greet you pleasantly.
Last year my mother was hospitalized for five months. Frequently I went to Marie Petrucello, a teller. She was concerned about my mother and inquired about her progress.”

 

The Big Secret of Dealing With People

Complimenting and the desire of feeling important.

“The next time you enjoy filet mignon at the club, send word to the chef that it was excellently prepared, and when a tired salesperson shows you unusual courtesy, please mention it.”

“Try leaving a friendly trail of little sparks of gratitude on your daily trips. You will be surprised how they will set small flames of friendship that will be rose beacons on your next visit.”

“When we are not engaged in thinking about some definite problem, we usually spend about 95 percent of our time thinking about ourselves. Now, if we stop thinking about ourselves for a while and begin to think of the other person’s good points, we won’t have to resort to flattery so cheap and false that it can be spotted almost before it is out of the mouth.”

Excerpt From: Dale Carnegie. “How to Win Friends & Influence People.” iBooks.

How To Interest People

Be interested in what others have to say.

How To Make People Like You Instantly

When someone is having a bad day, compliment them. (Story of Port of Subs in the podcast down below).

You Can’t Win An Argument

You can’t win an argument. You can’t because if you lose it, you lose it; and if you win it, you lose it. Why? Well, suppose you triumph over the other man and shoot his argument full of holes and prove that he is non compos mentis. Then what? You will feel fine. But what about him? You have made him feel inferior. You have hurt his pride. He will resent your triumph. And—

The Safety Valve In Handling Complaints

Most people trying to win others to their way of thinking do too much talking themselves. Let the other people talk themselves out. They know more about their business and problems than you do. So ask them questions. Let them tell you a few things.
If you disagree with them you may be tempted to interrupt. But don’t. It is dangerous. They won’t pay attention to you while they still have a lot of ideas of their own crying for expression. So listen patiently and with an open mind. Be sincere about it. Encourage them to express their ideas fully.

A Simple Way To Make A First Good Impression

How To Criticize And Not Be Hated For It

 

 

 

Final Podcast of This Book

Lewis Howes: Athlete Mask – Part II

As I’ve talked about in my previous blog posts and podcasts, we normally shred players who are often out of play due to injury.

One huge storyline came from Derek Rose.  Back in 2011, this man was an absolute menace.  To be honest, he was one of the greatest PG’s I’ve ever seen play the game because is unbelievable explosiveness.  Right before I went to Australia on my working holiday visa, I was in awe by his play.  Later that year, I remember laying on my bed one Saturday morning and seeing him go down in a playoff game.  From that point forward, Derek Rose was never the same because of ACL and MCL injuries.  Since then, and to this day, Americans berate him with insensitive comments – calling him a girl and a b**** because his knees are done.  Most recently, he just went down again and he’s out for an extended period of time.  The speculation is that he’ll never play again, and if he doesn’t, we will always say “what if.”  In America media, they will call him a fragile boy, but in reality, he was a freak of nature who’s knees gave up on him.

Psychologist Martin Phillips-Hing said in Lewis Howes book….

“I would suggest that most men watch soap operas too, except they call it sports. Think about when you most often publicly see men expressing strong emotions such as joy . . . fear . . . disappointment . . . sadness . . . anger. Sports, like novels and soap operas, allow men to identify and live vicariously through their team.

Lewis Howes went on to say that men bonding with other men on common grounds serves as a bedrock in relationships.  For instance, if it wasn’t for sports, my brother and I would’ve never had anything in common – therefore, our relationship would’ve fallen apart a long time ago.  Sports create a space where men are ‘ok’ to express their emotions.  However, crying is not part of that equation.

Often when men retire from the NFL, their lives take a turn for the absolute worse.  Ben Gordon, for example, was a furious SG for the Chicago Bulls about a decade ago.  Now, after a stint of legal charges, he’s now back in the news for literally robbing a manager at his apartment.  This is a man that made over 80 million dollars over his career and now he’s robbing people.  Players, of all colors and backgrounds, don’t have much of a life after sports and they go back to what they were brought up as.

Another “masking” would be when men go to the gym and try lifting as much as their peers, although their peers are +50 lbs on them. Most men don’t have the strength or cardio to compete with others who lift so much more.  What happens? Puts them in harms way.  Overexertion in the muscles and most notably, a man by the name of Rich Piana died.  People would say because of steroids, but there were 15 other ailments, including heart disease, fatty liver and discolored kidneys.  He did all of that because…..what? It begs the question, doesn’t it?

Some guys go to the gym, craving that six-pack because it will make them more attractive.  They want that feel.  They need that feel.  The perceptions and suggestions of other people now rule over them.

“When the team is gone and the playing days are over, however, a weird thing happens to many guys stuck behind the Athlete Mask. The value of selflessness and sacrifice starts to disappear, and all that’s left is competitiveness and the need to win. ”

Excerpt From: Lewis Howes. “The Mask of Masculinity.” iBooks.

Podcast

How Reading Books Changed My Life

It was a potential trip to Singapore – resulting in a completely botched trip because of a friend pulling a hiatus and me saying to myself, “well, Arsenio….you spent about 300-400$ USD on this trip to stay in a hotel with a “friend” and her apparent boyfriend.  Are you sure you don’t want to go?”

“NO!”

“Ok, well I’m going to put something in your life and it’s up to you to find it.”

It was like the universe speaking to me; only then I realized that the keyword was “library.”

I recall getting in a minivan stuffed up with 13 other people and headed into the heart of the city to go to a bookstore.  Asia Books, which is one of the most famous bookstores here in Thailand, was a goliath sitting in it’s lonesome at the end of the shopping plaza.  I walked in and went straight to the self-development section.

There it was.  Napoleon Hill’s Law of Success staring at me.  First thing I noticed was that it was MASSIVE.  We’re talking more than 500 pages; and the pages were BIG!  Just a couple months earlier I heard Will Smith mention Paulo Coelho’s book “The Alchemist,” which was standing unscathed right next to Napoleon’s book.  I snagged both off the bookshelf, had some wondrous Mexican food, and booked it home to start the reading.

That was the beginning.  Just a few months later, Jack Canfield’s The Success Principles made it’s way into my lap on top of a few others such as Lisa Nichols’ Abundance Now, Tony Robbins Money: Master The Game, and Dale Carnegie’s The Art of Public Speaking.

Since then, my life has completely changed, and it all came from a small shift in my awareness.

Podcast