Helping a suicidal student

I wrote this on my 101 goals list about 5 years ago: “help someone NOT commit suicide and get them out of a dark place.” I don’t know why it felt good at the time, but the opportunity had presented itself.

Years ago I met a student who was on fire. She was insecure at the age of 15, but with her level of speaking capabilities, I told her she couldn’t stay here in Thailand because ALL universities don’t know what to do with her level passion. She ended up moving to Singapore to go to school and ended up building an online business at the age of 17. The last time I had seen her in 2018, she was so excited and driven. She carried herself like a 30-year-old business professional.

Well, we lost touch and finally spoke again through video a couple weeks ago — to my shock, she completely changed: tone, facial expressions, discontent, and now suffering from severe depression. She went from Singapore back to Bangkok and now she’s around people who AREN’T driven.

While she was telling me these horrifying thoughts she was having, I was glancing to my left and thought of one person that could absolutely help her….and so the introduction was given and now the ball is on her side of the course — but I’m asking everyone out there that you should NEVER be AFRAID to ASK for help.

Full podcast down below!

What’s your Why?

“No one had to eat out of Trash Cans!” – Eric Thomas

Everytime I hear that, it gives me goosebumps. Could you imagine eating out of trash cans, homeless (because you ran away because of endless lies) and other things that a homeless child would go through? Yes, bullying, depression, and suicidal thoughts…Eric Thomas experienced this, and his goal now is to help people overcome just about anything and everything.

His why? He felt the pain.

Being who I am today didn’t happen because I saw the light, it was because my back was against the wall and I hated myself because people taught me to hate myself. 2015 I said ENOUGH! I’m not going through this anymore! I’m going to create a platform to help others overcome themselves!

And score!

Not only that, but even creating a number of platforms that will help get my story out there and change lives in regards to not only personal development, but English language communication.

I now have my WHY. I now have my purpose.

And even thinking about The Arsenio Buck Foundation? The ultimate life-assignment of them all….boy, I can’t be grateful enough.

But this isn’t about me. It’s about you. I’m scared for a lot of people out there because they don’t know their why. They don’t know what makes them tick. They don’t know what wakes them up in the morning, and this is why I’m here to spread such a profound message and represent an idea for people to finally go after what is theirs in the universe.

What’s your why?

Interviewee #34 – Jazz Pitt on Overcoming Depression, Exile, & Fulfilling Her Purpose

Jazz, who was the third of the three to really “jack me up,” helped me so much. It was a three day process when I went through the depths of hell to figure out what was actually wrong with me. After Richard came Isabel, followed by Jazz — and boy — did she have a story! This is going to hit home for a lot of people dealing with anxiety, depression, and even suicidal thoughts. Here it is!

Get in touch with Jazz Pitt on overcoming depression, exile and fulfilling purpose

Links:

Things we discussed:

  • Introduction given by Jazz Pitt and how she started it all?
  • Relationships and family exile.
  • Feeling of abandonment.
  • Mental breakdown and depression.
  • Situation after all feelings had subsided.
  • Unhappy childhood and how memories continued creeping into her present life.
  • Zombie state of depression.
  • Keys to overcome depression, anxiety and suicidal thoughts.
  • How she feels looking back on her past.
  • The importance of lifelong learning.
  • The power of love.
  • Sharing about the power of perceptions by other people and the importance of choosing.

Thank you for listening!

Links:

  1. Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/thearseniobuckshow/
  2. Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thearseniobuckshow/?hl=en
  3. YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCIzp4EdbJVMhhSnq_0u4ntA
  4. Podcasts: https://www.spreaker.com/user/thearseniobuckshow, https://open.spotify.com/show/7hdzplWx6xB8mhwDJYiP6f, https://www.buzzsprout.com/165390
  5. Website: https://thearseniobuckshow.com/
  6. Twitter: https://twitter.com/arseniobuckshow?lang=en

The Story of My Student’s Anti-Depressants & How Much Reaction Won

That’s right.

Remember the time my student turned to anti-depressants?

After meeting her at the base of my condo, I felt that there was a “aura” of disparity that was surrounding her. What she normally used to be and what she was at that moment.

After going up the elevator, she had a frown on her face and just didn’t see up-beat like she normally was. Upon entering my condo, she sat down and just looked unenthused. I sensed that something was wrong….she wasn’t happy with her life.

How does a doctor, making a significant amount, fall into such a state? Well, 48% of doctors in America are depressed, so that statistic wouldn’t be too uncommon.

After going over her motivations, taking her through a series of things i normally do and figuring out her center, she was completely unmotivated to do anything. She wasn’t living. The personal development category had hit rock bottom, and so were three other categories.

That day she went home and bought some anti-depressants. Luckily, she told me…and I said..

Wtf are you doing? You’ve identified the problem? People on anti-depressants either don’t know (don’t wanna know) or just masking/numbing what the actual problem is!

Arsenio

She felt my emotions through a message and quickly got off of them. She took literally one, and threw the rest away because she knew what the problem was.

Three days later she signed up with a gym and a few other activities to stop being so redundant with her life.

A few months later, she’s full of joy. I saw her again and I felt a radiation of positivity that I haven’t felt since she came back during a semester break 3 years ago (from Australia). She’s challenging herself and looking towards a job at the USA Embassy.

See, for those of you who believe depressants are going to help you, you’re wrong. You’re numbing the pain. You’re not facing what’s not working; whether it’s your shitty family, terrible job, or boorish friends. Once you isolate the problem and create a solution, those depressive feelings will go away….

…..such as what happened with my ex-student.

Interviewee #023 – Natalie Shaul on Stress, Mental Clarity & Physical Wellness

A super compelling podcast on how one’s mind can affect the body. On today’s show, Natalie Shaul joined me to talk about some great ways to deal with bloating, gut health in general, adding in different foods, and how she overcame a relentless amount of symptoms that were hovering over her for a decade and a half. 

Get in touch with Natalie Shaul

Links:

Things we discussed:

Her journey to where she is currently.

Good environment and a good childhood.

Believing she couldn’t complain because of how she was brought up. 

Health issues that lingered over time. 

What the causes are of  autoimmune and hyper-thyroid?

Causes of mercury poisoning.

What was the step-by-step recovery process to mitigate the symptoms?

Her meeting with Lewis.

More steps to combat her health issues.

 

Three things and actionable steps for the listeners.

Sleep deprivation.

Inflammatory foods.

Bloating and gut health.

Apple cider and how to make them. 

Sugary foods.

Probiotics.

Food and beverages that are good for your overall gut health. 

Her diet for breakfast.

Myths of overeating. 

Olive oil and omega fats.

Advantages of avocados.

Echinacea and its advantages

Turmeric and other spices that could be implemented in your diet. 

Physical fitness.

Yoga, detoxification and using a sauna. 

Three ultimate things for self-case.

Listen to “Interviewee #024 – Natalie Shaul on Stress, Mental Clarity & Physical Wellness” on Spreaker.

 

Thank you for listening!

Links:

  1. Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/thearseniobuckshow/
  2. Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thearseniobuckshow/?hl=en
  3. YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCIzp4EdbJVMhhSnq_0u4ntA
  4. Podcasts: https://www.spreaker.com/user/thearseniobuckshow, https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/the-arsenio-buck-show/id1181794790?mt=2, https://open.spotify.com/show/0x39CEN5tHvfRtfZaAMTgQ?si=8cpdu1rTTjKHogufXh91Cw
  5. Website: https://thearseniobuckshow.com/
  6. Twitter: https://twitter.com/arseniobuckshow?lang=en

Interviewee #024 – Lewis Raymond Taylor On Overcoming Himself

What an unbelievable story this was.  Lewis started off as a child who needed attention, like all children do, but after screamed at and neglected by his family, the fall of him began.  From drugs, alcoholism, run ins with the authority and even prison time, he changed his mind through a series of moments.  After putting himself back in prison the second time, the change happened.  Tune into the podcast!

Get in touch with Lewis Raymond Taylor

 

Links:

 

Things we discussed:

  • Introduction by the host with his guest.
  • Unhappy childhood and emotional abuse from his father.
  • The attention seeking disease.
  • Becoming a sexual abuse victim.
  • Wrong people, subconscious, prison.
  • Emotional needs.
  • Rejection, anger and rejection.
  • Being diagnosed with split personality disorder, bipolar disorder and other mental issues.
  • Attempted suicide and a near-death experience.
  • Nearly killing a man because the man’s aggression reflected his fathers.
  • The beginning of the change.
  • What the strategies were.
  • Mentorship in prison.
  • The beginning of being a business coach.
  • Being not responsible, but accountable.
  • 7 steps to make a change.

Listen to “Interviewee #024 – Lewis Raymond Taylor On Overcoming Himself” on Spreaker.

 

Thank you for listening!

 

If you found this useful, I would love for you to share the podcast on social media!

 

Links:

 

 

Coaching Session: Episode 004 – Toxic Family & Not Sure What To Do?

You know, I’ve talked about this on a number of occasions. How to veer and steer clear of negative human beings, even if they’re your family.  This is one of the toughest decisions any human being can make.  Did I think I would ever have to make a decision like this? Not in a million of years.  However, after an almost-fight with my brother in the living room of my home back in 2007 about the “Law of Attraction,” I realized that there was no way I can talk about these types of things with him anymore.  On one occasion, my mother asked if something was true and I said, “how do you think I got to Australia?”

No pun intended, but if I had consulted my family before my trip, I wouldn’t have gone to Australia to begin with.  My brother said angrily, “what the hell you going to Australia for?”

In brief, when I came back from actually LIVING in Australia, my older sister’s face had localized swelling. My mother was complaining about work mates, and my brother had three balls in his back, resulting in surgery.  My family was in a dark abyss and I couldn’t be rescue 911 this time.  I told myself, “it’s either my life, or I will fall into misery for the rest of my life.” That was the action.

I threw my bose headphones over my ears and cancelled out the noise, which brings me to number 1.

Make Positivity In Your Head Loud

It’s easier said than done, and people are often held back on life because memories that they are attached to — memories that are bad and continue recreating a life in the future — also known as having a predictable future.  How can you make it loud? Throw your headphones on, don’t take things seriously and read/listen to Dale Carnegie’s How to Stop Worrying and Start Living. 

If you actually look at your life from your outerself, you will realize that life isn’t too bad.  That’s number one.  Number two, unless someone is physically abusing you, you are in control of how you react to situations.  You’re either positive or negative; reactive or proactive; on offense or defense.  Leading up to my departure (to come here to Thailand), my family and I were LIGHT YEARS apart.  I would stay away from them as much as possible because I would feel the jealousy, animosity, hate, bigotry, you name it.  It was a tenacious force that I couldn’t overcome, but I made a promise to myself that when I leave this native Las Vegas today, I will NEVER return to see them.

On the day of leaving, my mother cried.  I thought they were fabricated because she sure as hell didn’t show any of that the entire year I was there.  When I first went to university, my mother cried from her heart at the airport with my uncle.  When I left this time, it felt as if she was forced to cry to show her feelings.  Everything I experienced over the year, especially with the amount of anger coming out of my brother, had to be banished forever — and so it was.

Are They Helping You, or Killing You?

Simple question.  Are you growing or dying? If you were to stay around them any longer, would the situations escalate even more? What kind of small steps can you take? Yes, you can try having a heart talk, but if has been perpetuated for years, the conditioning is imbedded into the DNA…..they believe.

Don’t Jump In, Ease In

When I had the ordeal happen with my family, it was a long period of time.  It wasn’t just a huge BANG and everything ended. That could be very daunting for a lot, emotional, and neither party wins.  If you just ease out of the toxicity on a nightly basis and talk to friends who encourage you to become better, this can go a long way.

Listen to “Coaching Session: Episode 004 – Toxic Family & Not Sure What To Do?” on Spreaker.

Coaching Session 002: The Follow-up With My Colleague — Changes Are Happening!

So, if you guys haven’t already read the blog or heard the podcast about my colleague who is/was depressed, I suggest you do that, first.

Now, just recently I had my colleague make some significant changes in her life.  I had her write down the list of everything she likes to do, passions, what are her strengths, and other things.  I’ve struck gold with it.

Over the next week, she seemed a lot happier.  She paid $500 bucks for dance lessons, and this was awesome because she’s always dancing at work.  She committed to fitness by making videos on Instagram, showing herself doing squats and other exercises.

Shortly following that, she sent me her list in regards to the positive things about her and this is what she wrote.

  1. What are my natural gifts? Making people laugh.
  2. What are my skills? Organizing and acting.
  3. What do I enjoy? Dancing, singing, taking photos.
  4. When do I feel most alive? When I’m with friends.
  5. What am I passionate about? (still undecided)
  6. What brings the greatest joy in my life? Good work, taking care of my mom, good family (all conditionals though — nothing in the present)
  7. When do I feel best about myself? Helping others.

 

Strengths

Listening

Challenges

Commitment

 

Now, her natural gifts, skills and enjoyment interlink with each other, but there are still some areas that she’s not exactly sure about and that we need to tap into.  Also, living in a country like Thailand, most people aren’t good at giving positive reinforcement and feedback with peers.  In the spot where it says “what have people always said I’m really good at,” there wasn’t anything.  This isn’t an issue, but culturally speaking, this isn’t good.

Nonetheless, she did message me and tell me that she feels much better and she claims that it’s fromt he medication at the psychiatrist.  However, that’s actually the problem. With Fish Oil, Vitamin D tablets and 20 minutes of exercise a day, she can wick away those “depressive thoughts.”

That’s the next big step in my coaching with her.

Podcast

Special Blog: Arsenio’s Entrepreneurial Journey from 2016-Now

Ok, you guys wanted it, and here it is.

At the beginning of 2016, I started a podcast.  Keep in mind that my followers on Twitter were LOSER sex tourists and my online persona, up to that point, was not very good.  I constantly focused on the negative and the victimization of being a “black” teacher in Thailand.

Then came the man — also known as Napoleon Hill.  Who’s Napoleon Hill? Well, you’ll have to google him, but this man ended up teaching me everything that I either had lost, or was completely unaware of.  Those books became my podcasts in the beginning and that ended up pushing away the majority of those “losers” who followed me online.

Then came the Jack Canfield book, most notably — Principle #5: Believe In Yourself.  While reading this just before my trip to Vietnam, I was reduced to tears.  At that moment, there was a shift in my entire biochemistry, indicating that this victimhood no longer serves you.  Getting rid of it didn’t happen overnight, but this was the beginning.

Lisa Nichols’ Abundance now came next, along with a few others, including Tim Ferriss’ 4-Hour Work Week and a couple of others.  This was the beginning of the new me.

In 2017, I began to rebel.  Hell, it started a couple months before.  My work, which wasn’t suitable for me anymore, wasn’t fair in terms of work allocation.  Some teachers got more work based on pre-conceived notions that they were better than other teachers.  So, I told myself, even in early 2016, that I would start working outside to gain more notoriety and build a brand that I didn’t know I was building at the time.  One after another, projects after projects, and “NO! I DON’T WANT YOUR CLASS IN THE MORNING!” — after another.  This probably was my downfall at the company because I constantly denied work from them, leading to my ultimate plunge and being the “last in line” and the “dark little brother,” however, this was the beginning of my new life.

In October of 2017, I got removed from teaching at Toshiba in Pathumthani, citing me for the most outrageous comments imaginable that were completely untrue and irrelevant to my moving.  Somebody had a bone to pick, and with two other white teachers, one having an insane amount of complaints, I was the odd one out (in a very unprofessional way).  That following weekend, it was the comment “if you want to continue working here we need to have a meeting” that sent shivers of disgust, threats, and “Arsenio, it’s time to get the hell out of here” down my back.  That moment, I made up in my mind that I was too good for these folks.

No one knew, but after learning that I had moved to the other side of town, they knew what was happening.  I cancelled, didn’t want class, and want to be away from that place as much as possible because it gave me chest pains — literally.

At the same time, I was grinding and trying to find work.  There were people saying “oh, this company decided this teacher over you because you’re white” and other deplorable comments. I knew I would scrape the bottom-of-the-barrel in regards to finding suitable language centers, but i kept at it.

Then March came.  Job offers came over the next two months along with entrepreneurs, a content writer, and hundreds of other things.

At the beginning of the year, I made goals list.  I made goals list for each category of my wheel of life, pin-pointing things that I wanted to do and how I wanted to grow.  To this date, I’ve not only achieved those marks, but I think in some categories, like the social circle and personal development, I’m two years ahead.

I have a content writer, social circle consisting of graphic designers, mentors, marketing execs and coaches, double podcasts website that’s sky-rocketing, YouTube that’s climbing, messages and comments saying thank you.

In all of that, do you think this could’ve happened if I didn’t leave that old place of work? No way.  I needed to leave there to create flow of goodness and change in my life.

See, the majority of the time, you guys get stuffed up in the now and personal wants.  You’re control by the mainstream media, dying relationships, loser friends, terrible jobs.  However, if you can just come to the awareness that if you let these things go, you will attract to you everything in life that you need to take you to the next level.

That’s a promise.

Upon the magnificent New Years, I’m literally positioning myself as the top ESL podcaster on the planet.  I’m owning hashtags on Instagram.  I’m teaching people all over the world and people want my services.  See how that works? And this all came because I dumped an employer in F.E.A.R of not getting a new job.

Face FEAR.

Stephen Covey: Work Centered – The Story of My Student

When I met her at the base of the elevator, her energy was off.  I’ve seen this wonderfully, stern-faced doctor a plenty of times.  She’s kin to me….like a sister.  However, I just felt like there was a ball of negative energy around her that I couldn’t quite understand.  So, I asked her, “what’s on your mind?”

“Nothing,” she replied.

As the lesson went on and I tried asking her about different stories: funny, scary, adventurous, inspirational…..she was at a loss of words.

I asked, “have you been living?” — jokingly.

“No, I have a sad life,” she retorted.

The opening up came in and that’s when I realized something was up.  I went through the wheel of life exercise with her and her categories were suffering.

Personal Development – 0

Career – 4

Fun & Hobbies – 4

Friends – 8 (although the friends she’s around kind of live the same dismal lifestyle)

Health – 4

 

Awareness

“Look what’s happening.  You’re now aware though.  A lot of people don’t develop this type awareness and go through life seemingly discontent which ultimately breeds depression.  Best part about this session is you’re not aware of what’s happening.”

“What am I supposed to do, AJ (nickname is AJ in Thailand because they can’t pronounce Arsenio)?”

I pulled out my little Jack Canfield book that has an exercise to “find your purpose.”

I went down a series of questions.  “What brings you joy? What’s your defining moment?”…..and so many others.  She didn’t know.

See, schools (especially those “academic” schools) don’t knock on the core genius of young individuals…so then they grow up being “work centered” and end up being miserable.  A study showed these results of American doctors.

A GRIM PICTURE OF PHYSICIANS’ MENTAL HEALTH

The study polled more than 15,000 doctors in 29 specialties. In the survey, 42% of physicians reported burnout. Physicians in critical care, neurology, and family medicine had the highest rates of burnout. The specialties with the lowest rates were plastic surgery, dermatology, and pathology. The specialists with the lowest rates were also more likely to seek professional help for their mental health.

Fourteen percent of physicians reported being both burned out and depressed. The specialties with the highest rates of co-occurring depression and burnout were:

  • Obstetrics and gynecology (20%)

  • Public health and preventive medicine (18%)

  • Urology (17%)

  • Neurology (17%)

Of course she’s a Thai doctor, but you guys get my point.

I was sitting there with my hands on my chin wondering what the hell to do next, and then suddenly I realized a very good exercise I saw in Stephen Covey’s book in regards to finding your “center.”  She read through it and she began reciting something so identical to what her present situation was — she was work centered.

Someone who puts everything into work to whereas they forget about everything else, especially life.

What did I do next as a coach?

Ok, we need to find your passion.  You’re uninspired for so many different reasons. Do this exercise in terms of answering the questions about yourself that’s been untapped forEVER.  After that, you need to figure out your true alchemy.  Sure, you have the money, but you’ve neglected every other area (as pointed out above).  So, time to read about your alchemy (Paulo Coehlo’s The Alchemist).  After that, read the ensuing 10 pages of Stephen Covey’s book to completely unlock what’s happening in your life (I almost know the chapters verbatim).

What I’m expecting?

She’s going to come back with renewed passion.

Podcast