Stephen Covey’s Speed of Trust: Season 4 – Episode 22 – The K in Tasks

Welcome back to another Stephen Covey blog with lots of explanations! Here are some questions for you to answer.

What is your current level of knowledge in your specific field?

What are you doing to NOT stay current?

What other areas of knowledge are you pursuing?

So, lately I’ve been having some hot sweats — hot sweats of the feelings I used to feel doing things that I absolutely hated to do. 2004, a year where I was DEAD BORED with school. 2005, watching TV all day long and not learning a damn things while saturating myself with sports and other things to keep me busy and away from making rash decisions.

Hell, even when I lived in Australia, or on those boring Saturdays and Sundays off from work…..it was a life of misery, while I was going to college.

Throughout my life, I was never asked about my purpose. I was never asked “do you really like what you’re doing?”

Karen Mulcahy, an ex-university professor, asked me “why do you want to become a dental assistant?”

I replied, “well, I’ve never had a nice smile and I would love to change others smiles because that’s the first thing we see.

First part was wrong, I’ve always had a nice smile, excluding my bottom incisors. However, I didn’t have the ability to change smiles as a dental assistant.

As a dental assistant, what could I have done to improve my knowledge and skills? Oh, ok…let me learn the different types of softwares related to the dental field and possible get paid more.

Get paid more….and then?

It was a dead-end job from the beginning and I was able to escape the rat race of just saying, “let me just making money for the weekend and travel twice a year…enjoy my life only twice a year before going back to a horrendous career.”

Some of you are in that career right NOW! Doing the same tasks and hating your life. I’m inviting you to take the leap.

For those of you who have already made the leap, ask yourself your questions about your specific field.

I was just having a conversation with another English Language tutor, and she said she wanted to go back to university to learn about business, reading, and writing — three things that I’ve learned ON MY OWN. The information is everywhere. I improved my knowledge of subjects taught out here in Thailand and was paid more for doing so.

That was 4 years ago. Since then, the amount of knowledge I have now is unbelievable and continuing to increase.

Don’t Stay Current

You stay current and you will lose. Apple has taken catastrophic hits. Sure, 245 billion in hard cash, but they’re now #3 in the world because they’re no longer innovating and hiking prices even more…with the same functions. This is a dead company.

If you’re not looking 5-10 years ahead and not innovating, you will fall way behind.

The areas I continue pursuing is insight and revelation. I want to continue learning and learning from people as much as possible because i know with experiences and collaboration brings some of the greatest heights of anyone’s life. That will be talked about in another blog, but please take these questions into account and start jotting down ideas.

Listen to “Stephen Covey’s Speed of Trust: Season 4 – Episode 22 – The K in Tasks” on Spreaker.

Stephen Covey’s Speed of Trust: Season 4 – Episode 18 – Core III – Capabilities Part II

So, this is a follow-up of what I’ve already written and talked about on my previous blog post. Let’s look at some of the people I’ve come across.

You could be the individual who has enormous capabilities, but be lacking in integrity, intent, or results.

For instance, you might have tremendous potential….and it remains just that — potential.

Let me give you a few examples.

There was a colleague I worked for who had a Masters in Business and Finance, yet he was in Thailand. It didn’t make much sense. Honestly, he was one of the most brilliant minds I’ve ever come across and gave me the original idea to start doing a podcast…..but he was never walking his own walk.

Another individual, who my content writer is in talks with (and has been for a while) has an insane amount of potential, is extremely smart, and the sky’s the limit….but she lacks self-trust and dooms everything right out of the gates.

Kenny, an ex-colleague at the College of Southern Nevada, was SOOO unbelievably smart. He knew about investments and anything you could ever imagine…yet, just worked as a slave in the front office of a dental faculty practice. An UNBELIEVABLY ENORMOUS AMOUNT OF POTENTIAL….but never walked his walk.

Guys and gals, capabilities mean everything in this globalizing and technologically advanced world. We’re outdating skill-sets faster than ever before. So you need to ask yourself some questions.

  • What capabilities do you have that make you credible and that inspire the trust and confidence in others.
  • What experience have you had (or not had) in developing capabilities that affects the confidence you have in yourself?
  • What impact are factors such as technology and globalization having on the relevance of your current capabilities.
  • What is your attitude and approach toward improving your current capabilities and gaining new ones?

Listen to “Stephen Covey’s Speed of Trust: Season 4 – Episode 18 – Core III – Capabilities Part II” on Spreaker.

 

Questions & Answers: Overcoming Betrayal & Dishonesty

Esther Perel: “many of us have had many experiences of broken trusts.  Betrayal. How do we mend? How do we bring back? How do we repair, as in pairing back? When trust is broken, it’s actually about reintegrating a new truth.  And the new trajectory for desire and once again feel safe to want.”

Esther Perel, who spoke at A-fest, said this.  It really hit me hard after going through so many things in my life, but also a brilliant question I got from one of my listeners.

“Hello, Arsenio.  I’m having trust issues with some of my colleagues.  Sometimes they say one thing, but they do the other.  They said they have work, but then they go quiet.  They’re also moody at times and we’re supposed to be forming life-long partnerships and grow professionally.  How do I go about doing that?”

Well, this is a question that I can relate to, but I need to break this down in step-by-step format to help you, rather than putting my experiences into your shoes.

When In Doubt, Check It Out

Look, we usually assume the worst when it might be bad news.  We’re simply afraid of what the answer may be.  There seems to be an ever-growing amount of assumptions that’s happening on your end, but it’s easy to assume something just by a facial expression.  I’ve seen angry teachers, staff, students.  One of the funniest things I’ve ever heard was, “I’m scared of Africans because they always look angry.”  What a stupendous assumption, right?

What you need to do is find out the cold-hard facts.  Did you really do something wrong? Example, I admitted my mistake with someone who’s an associate, but she continues to ignore me (for almost two weeks), and now I’m even thinking twice about being teamed up with her.  Why? The dishonesty is happening and I feel they’re not being 100% on so many areas.  So, I’ll call them out on it.  Man talk.  Mano y mano (hand and hand as we say in Spanish). Also, you have an option to do something about it – the situation – by helping her shift her mood.  Use some of the following phrases.

“I’m wondering if….”

“Would it be ok if….”

“Are you feeling…..”

I did this the first time with an associate and said, “come on, let’s have a talk.” She gets quiet and agitated when things don’t go her way.  When I ask her what’s wrong, she blames busyness.  However, we know there’s an underlying problem, right? That’s why this is necessary.

Technique 2 – Do You Mean

That’s right. If someone says “no” right off the back, we automatically assume that the individual is angry at us.

Example, “Arsenio, are you free on Sunday to teach a corporate class at the Exchange Tower?”

“No.”

She/he replies, “do you mean that you’re not going to be available on Sundays anymore”

I: “no, I didn’t mean that.”

She/he: “do you mean that you would rather be doing something else?”

I: “I didn’t mean that either.”

She/he: “do you mean that you’re busy on Sundays because of contract and have something going on that I don’t know about?”

I: “Yes.  That’s exactly what I mean.

Sometimes we just don’t tell the reasons behind our nos.  

When you start checking out your assumptions, you’re going to improve your communication.  You’re going to improve the relationships, quality of life, workplace atmosphere, productivity and start getting better results.

You’ll also have to look at it from a futuristic standpoint.  If they continue to be moody, distance, giving you the cold-shoulder and whatnot, is there something that you can do to salvage it? Maybe have a hearttalk? Because if not, maybe it’s best to just cut all ties.

Podcast