Arsenio’s ESL Podcast: Q & A # 1 – Overcoming The Fear of Speaking English

Woohoo! I’m kicking off a new edition of Q & A’s! That’s right, for those of you that ask questions about specific things, I’ll be featuring them on a podcast one a weekly basis (might be Wednesday) and answer your questions as fully as possible. Here’s our first question!

Teacher, I would like you to post a video explaining how to overcome fear or how to be confident when it comes to speaking English.

Cristian of Colombia

Brilliant question. Has a degree of self-awareness to it. Everyone in the world wants to know how they can become more confident in their respective fields, more importantly in communication. When it comes to fear, we’ll always have. We can’t banish fear because we’re human beings — when we feel such a thing — our defensive mechanism comes up. The “fight or flight” mode kicks in. But there is a way to handle it by asking yourself these questions.

What’s the worst that can happen?

Honestly, what’s the worst thing that can happen? They might make a mockery of you. It happened to me here in Thailand. I moved to a country not knowing the language, so I’m in the same group as many of you are who are studying the English language. Yes, I was made fun of, restaurants didn’t make my food on purpose, they pointed at me, laughed at me, talked about me behind my back BUT IN MY FACE, but it’s just noise.

Stick to your true values and beliefs and none of that will mean a damn thing.

Afraid of being judged?

I’ve been judged all my life. I’ve been judged because the color of my skin. Yes, if you’re a Spanish speaker and have a heavy accent, a lot of anglo Americans might judge you. If you have a Chinese accent in Australia, you’re probably judged by a lot of Aussies (as videos have shown). But again, where are the insecurities? You. It’s not them. They’re begging for your attention and have an alpha mask on. You, on the other hand, are giving them the attention by seeping down to their level. You will be judged when you’re trying to make the best of yourself…you have to be comfortable being uncomfortable to become a strong communicator in English.

Afraid of failure?

Better make him/her your friend! Failure is one big vitamin to me. I’ve had much more failures than successes and they’ve helped me achieve the unthinkable. It has helped me realize how unbelievable a human being I am. So what, you failed an academic English test. That’s impractical. Can you communicate effectively across cultures? That will be more important in life. Trust me.

Afraid of not being understood? Welcome to the party.

I’ve been misunderstood by my family on countless occasions — and we speak the same language! I’ve been misunderstood by some of my best friends, and that will never change. It’s a part of living and growing. When you’re communicating, people might ask other people what you’re talking about and put you in a more uncomfortable situation. Sucks at first, but what did you really learn from it?

Podcast

Positive Mental Attitude: Season 2 – Episode 22 – Quotient Analysis – Part C

Here we go! This is the last part of the quotient analysis!  If you haven’t already done Part A or Part B, I suggest you hit the links on the left and do them before the last part.

13. Learning from defeat
(a) Does defeat cause you to stop trying?

_____ _____
(b) If you fail in a given effort, do you keep trying?

_____ _____
(c) Is temporary defeat the same as failure?

_____ _____
(d) Have you learned any lessons from defeat?

_____ _____
(e) Do you know how defeat can be converted into an asset that will lead to success?

_____ _____
14. Creative vision
(a) Do you use your imagination constructively?

_____ _____
(b) Do you make your own decisions?

_____ _____
(c) Is the man who only follows instructions always worth more than the man who also creates new ideas?”

(d) Are you inventive?

_____ _____
(e) Do you create practical ideas in connection with your work?

_____ _____
(f) When desirable, do you seek sound advice?”

 

15. Budgeting time and money
(a) Do you save a fixed percentage of your income?

_____ _____
(b) Do you spend money without regard to your future source of income?

_____ _____
(c) Do you get sufficient sleep each night?

_____ _____
(d) Is it your habit to employ spare time studying self-improvement books?”

 

16. Maintenance of sound health
(a) Do you know five essential factors of sound health?

_____ _____
(b) Do you know where sound health begins?

_____ _____
(c) Are you aware of the relation of relaxation to sound health?

_____ _____
(d) Do you know the four important factors necessary for the proper balancing of sound health?

_____ _____
(e) Do you know the meaning of “hypochondria” and “psychosomatic illness”?

_____ _____
17. Using cosmic habit force as it pertains to your personal habits
(a) Do you have habits which you feel you cannot control?

_____ _____
(b) Have you recently eliminated undesirable habits?

_____ _____
(c) Have you recently developed any new, desirable habits?”

Rating System

Here’s how to rate your answers. All the following questions should have been answered NO: 3c – 3d – 4b – 5b – 5c – 5e – 6b – 6c – 8a – 8d – 9b – 9d- 10c – 11b – 11c – 12c – 13a – 13c – 14c – 15b – 17a. All other questions should have been answered YES. Your score would have been 300 if all the questions had been answered “No” or “Yes” as shown above. This is a perfect score and very few people have ever made such a score. Now let’s see what your score was.”

Number of “Yes” answers instead of “No”:
——x 4 =——
If you answered “No” to any of the meaning questions that should have been answered “Yes,” deduct four points for each one:
Number of “No” answers instead of “Yes”:
——x 4 =——
Add the subtotals together, and subtract from 300. This will be your score.
Illustration:
Number of “Yes” answers instead of “No”: 3 x 4 = 12
Number of “No” answers instead of “Yes”: 2 x 4 = 8
Total Number of Wrong Answers __________ 20
Perfect Score ____________________ 300
Minus Total Number of Wrong Answers __________ 20
Your Score ____________________ 280

 

300 points _____ Perfect (Very Rare)
275 to 299 points _____ Good (Above Average)
200 to 274 points _____ Fair (Average)
100 to 199 points _____ Poor (Below Average)
Below 100 points _____ Unsatisfactory

You have now taken an important step to success and happiness.”

Podcast

 

 

Reject Rejection: Some Will, Some Won’t; So What – Someone’s Waiting!

I woke up this morning to a message on my LinkedIn.  A man, who invests heavily into Crypto and does a lot of blockchain, denied coming onto my podcast to talk about both topics (it’s very common for those to do so because they’re scared about ruining their reputation — including Forex Traders).

24 hours prior to that, a “spiritualist” who I’ve come across on my Instagram post told me, “oh, due to my bandwidth, I’ll have to decline your offer.”  I scratched my head and said, “huh? Well, ok!”

The point I’m trying to make here reverts back to Jack Canfield’s 18th principle: “Some Will, Some Won’t; So What – Someone’s Waiting!”

I’ve brought on millionaire authors, actresses and so many other unbelievable personalities who shared with my audience unbelievable knowledge.

Rule #1: Acknowledge what you’ve already done!

Sure, I don’t get many responses, but at least I got two that officially rejected me.  In the future, when I’m making it big, guess who will probably come back?  Just saying…this is what always happens.

“If you are going to be successful, you are going to need to learn how to deal with rejection.  Rejection is a natural part of life.  You get rejected when you aren’t picked for the team, don’t get the part in the play, don’t get elected, get denied, don’t get into the graduate school or college of your choice, don’t get the job or promotion you wanted, don’t get the sale, don’t get the raise you wanted, don’t get the appointment you requested, don’t get the date you asked for, don’t get the permission you requested, or you get fired.” – Jack Canfield.

However, rejection is simply a myth! It’s a concept you hold in your ear! Example, back in 2006, I asked a girl name Marja to the senior prom.  She said, “oh, I have an agreement with someone else — sorry!”  Was it a lie? Absolutely…but the simple fact is I wasn’t suppose to go with her to prom because it would’ve been cringing.  Instead, I went with a triplet couple and had a great time.

Just Say “Next!”

Colonel Harland Sanders left his home with his pressure cooker and his special recipe for cooking Southern fried chicken, he received 1,009 rejections before he found someone to believe in his dream.

Because he was rejected over a thousand times, there are now over 10k KFC’s in more than a hundred countries around the world.

“Don’t get stuck in your fear or resentment.  Move on to the next person.  It’s a numbers game.  Someone is waiting to say yes.”

Building Stronger Job Esteem

There’s nothing like getting the “thank you for applying” email, right?

Heck, just recently I went into a second-stage of an interview, only for them to tell me, “oh, well we think there are more qualified teachers.”  Ha! The qualified teachers who just open a book and teach number by number, right?

I began putting some figures together and things just weren’t adding up to be honest.  Honduras was offering 400$ USD a month – mind boggling.  Costa Rica, and it’s big companies, was offering just over $1K.  The job that denied me, located in Providencia, Chile, was offering just over 1k, too.

Well, after long though, why would I take gigantic steps back, right? I mean my first job (and I say this out of all honesty) was a measly $600 dollars a month: “sorry, we can’t give you the same price as the white teachers because they’re white and you’re black,” I was told.

Second job was an 80% increase.  However, I started making waves at my present job about two years ago, propelling myself to the $3k on pure hustle.  Since then there has been a change of management, and of course, lots of jealousy.  Lots of finger-pointing and “don’t give Arsenio work because he talked about why I came here to buy a wife” angry-at-my-dad syndrome.  LOL! Good times.

See, you never want to fall or take a gigantic step back.  Take your monthly average, for instance, and make that your starting mark.

I applied for an online teaching job, which will ultimately fall into my laps, recently.  What I like is I can make 2.5k easy and teaching at my own pace and rate.  Not only that, but breaking into the Chinese market is HUGE at this point.  I’ve been preaching about the emergence of online teaching and how China will ultimately burn out all language centers around the world because of face-to-face English conversation.  Well, I have an interview, which I should’ve had with another company about two years ago, coming up in a few days.  Once I land this, I’ll be able to teach from home, make a consistent wage, and push all my projects and MSI’s (multiple sources of income).  However, I don’t have a place I can call home…..which is being sorted out now.

Nonetheless, if you look at denial and failure by face-value, you will always give-up pretty quickly.  I just told you guys about the dream job – pulled disappearing act – that bailed.  Then, Providencia, which is located on the other side of the planet, later followed suit.  Are these blessings in disguise? ABSOLUTELY! How about you just have your own projects, Arsenio (what I ask myself)?

If you find yourself feeling like a failure such as what happened to me just a couple days ago, and in the last few months, create a list of “bragging rights.”  Create a list of all your accomplishments, contributions, and three key stories about times when you overcame an obstacle in the past.

By recognising your strengths and ability to succeed in the face of challenge, you can totally shift that bummed out state-of-mind that you’re in.

Podcast

Napoleon Hill: Your Standing Army – End of Lesson XIII

These fifteen soldiers are labeled: Definite Chief-Aim, Self-Confidence, Habit of Saving, Imagination, Initiative & Leadership, Enthusiasm, Self-Control, Doing More Than Paid For, Pleasing Personality, Accurate Thought, Concentration, Co-operation, Failure, Tolerance, Golden Rule.

This is the most powerful army on EARTH! This army is ready for the bidding of any person who will command it.

Will you take charge?

Without the aid of a definite purpose the remainder of the arm will be useless to you.  Find out, as early in life as possible, what your major purpose will be.  Neil Donald Walsh said in the secret, “alot of us think there’s this imaginary blackboard in the sky that god has for us.  We spend our entire life searching for this blackboard.  However, whatever that purpose or mission is…is the mission we give ourselves.”

Remember, Lincoln’s major definite purpose was to free black slaves of the south and he turned that purpose into a reality.  Roosevelt’s was to build the Panama Canal.  Henry Ford’s was to build the best popular priced automobile on Earth.  Bill Gates was to put a computer in every home in America.

If you can vitalize your mind with a definite purpose and immediately your mind becomes a magnet which attracts everything that harmonizes with that purpose.

The powerful man is the man who has developed, in his own mind, the entire fifteen qualities represented by the fifteen commanding officers shown in the picture.  Before you can have power you must have a definite purpose; you must have self-confidence with which to back up that purpose; you must have initiative and leadership with which to exercise your self-confidence; you must have imagination in creating your definite purpose and in building the plans with which to transform that purpose into reality and put your plans into action.  You must mix enthusiasm with your action or it will be insipid and without “kick.” You must exercise self-control.  You must form the habit of doing more than paid for.  You must cultivate a pleasing personality.  You must acquire the habit of saving.  You must become an accurate thinker, remembering, as you develop this quality, that accurate thought is based upon facts and not upon hearsay evidence or mere information.  You must form the habit of concentration by giving your undivided attention to buy one task at a time.  You must acquire the habit of co-operation and practice it in all your plans.  You must profit by failure, your own and that of others.  You must cultivate the habit of tolerance.  Last, but by no means the least important, you must make the golden rule the foundation of all you do that affects other people. – Napoleon Hill.

Create a picture of this army and keep it where you can see it everyday.  Study these soldiers everyday, by reading my blogs, or by listening to my podcasts.

Podcast

https://www.spreaker.com/user/thearseniobuckshow/napoleon-hill-your-standing-army-end-of-

Questions & Answers: Friendship Woes

Ahhh, thank you for asking the question and hopefully I have the answer!  A listener from Iraq asked me, “my friend and I have been friends for years, but after a miscommunication, we stopped talking for several months.  I tried reaching out to her and she never responds; however, she posts daily on social media.”

Well, I’ll try putting myself into your shoes, but at this very moment I’m going through the same problem.

If you haven’t heard the story already, I’m suppose to currently be in America.  As a matter of fact, today is suppose to be the day that I stay at the snowboarding fields in Flagstaff, Arizona.  However, because I had a gut-feeling about having a bad trip, I bailed.  This was the friendship “detonator.”

See, if I had gone out there and the trip was sour, I would’ve never seen her again.  If I cancelled, I might’ve been able to salvage the friendship.

Instead, the plan backfired on me.  2 months – not a word.  I was the big man yesterday and messaged my friend a beautiful, long message, wishing her a Merry Christmas.  Response? Absolutely not.

So, what do we have here? We have someone who doesn’t give a damn (your friend and my friend) and you’re wanting to know what to do next.

Waiting Game But In Your Mind You Move On

Honestly, other than wasting your time trying to get in touch with her, act as if she’s already gone.  That there is no more of her.  When you come into acceptance of that, you’re not longer using your available attention units, waiting on her to respond.  That will just clog everything that’s trying to come in your life and your life, will come to a grinding halt.  Friendships have to go two-ways.  If you have a friend that develops the “I’m 16-years-old and I’m angry at my dad” syndrome, you’re better off just cutting your losses and moving on.  I’ve had this happen SO many times on so many different occasions.  Friends just go completely silent for two weeks and I just say, “ahhh f*** it.”  I go silent, too.

For instance, a few recent friends I’ve befriended went silent so I uninstalled an app (since it was the only app I used to talk to them), and just went cold.  Later, I got an email probably two days ago from them, shockingly.  I was upfront and said, “well, you didn’t speak, so I didn’t talk to you.” I then reinstalled the app and I realized that not only her, but the other friend tried contacting me.  Not only that, she cared much more than the other who messaged me about 4 days ago.  But if we talk through a different pair of lens, I was ‘ok’ if they never came back into my life ever again.  Why? I made it up in my mind. What’s the worse that can happen? You can’t change people and force them to go back to their historical self.  People change for what we perceive to be the ‘good’ or ‘bad.’

So, in your case, and the case of my best friend, it’s time to move on.  You’ve done all the messaging.  Put your friend on a restricted profile, make sure they’re not in your Newsfeed on any form of social media (but don’t block them just yet), and just move on with your life.

Meet New Friends

I went through this phase in October/November when I met the Indonesia, Indian and Thai.  Two of them are not in my life anymore and the Indonesia caught onto my hook that I threw into the deep-sea.  I meant to do that to see if she really cared, and she does.  My best friend, on the other hand, doesn’t give a damn.  So, that’s the end of that.  All the best!  At the same time, there are plenty worthier “friends” that are much more deserving.

And as I was typing the above paragraph, guess who messaged me? The Indian.  This is the universe we live in.  What you speak about and talk about — you bring about.  Always remember that!

Use an app.  I mean you’re a woman, so it’s incredibly difficult to meet nice men in the world who aren’t after you for the sacred nectar.  On the other hand, I don’t meet women in Thailand because it’s always a one-way street and dead-end most of the time.  I use different apps and go to exotic countries to get new perspectives.  On top of that, start writing down the goals and things you’re trying to achieve in the New Year!

Podcast

https://www.spreaker.com/user/thearseniobuckshow/q-a-friendship-woes

Lewis Howes: Material Mask – Part III

“Whatever success you’re after, keep in mind that someone has already had it, hated it, and deluded themselves into thinking that just a little more would solve their problems.” – Ryan Holiday

Excerpt From: Lewis Howes. “The Mask of Masculinity.” iBooks.

It makes you think a lot about materialistic things in general, doesn’t it? I’m completely fine making a solid 3k-5k a month.  All I really care about is traveling, making a difference, and once I start making over that amount, I’ll develop a non-profit organization and build schools in impoverished countries.  That’s my life assignment.

Some people’s life assignment revolves around getting a Bugati.  Look at Christian Guzman, for instance.  Back around August of 2016 before my breakthrough, I would watch his videos to try to get a burst of inspiration.  Instead, it was about houses, money, and cars.  A lot of followers, again in the comment section, would hurl rhetoric at him in terms of lavishing himself in luxury.  The point I’m trying to make is during the video, I felt his energy.  And in saying that, his energy was so off.  He had such a feeling of discontent with the entire process.  He did not seem happy whatsoever.  Same thing goes with another YouTuber (fitness) named Chris Jones.  I feel that he’s another person who doesn’t seemed entirely fulfilled, although he has a gorgeous house, significant other, and car.  This is what scares me.

“I think one of the big reasons why men, specifically, chase money and fame is because they were turned away earlier from those feelings of acceptance and attachment, and they found some security in this myth that being rich, that having Tai’s house, will finally make them feel like men.” – Lewis Howes

Luckily, I’ve never been one of those men.  However, I feel like a particular clothing store, which I would get my clothes tailored from, was pushing me to the bring of having a Material Mask.  It being an Indian based store in BKK, they’re very pushy.  They would constantly push me to buy and invest more after picking up some.  Thankfully, the last time I went there (back in April), the manager ripped me off completely and told me to pick up 300$ worth of clothing (which would be only one suit and a pair of slacks – compared to five shirts, three slacks and a blazer just a year before) by the following week.  I left and said, “is this it? Is the trust broken?” And if I had gone back to pick up everything, I think not only would I have lost all my dignity, but the mask would be officially on.  I messaged another employee expressing discontent; and later on that evening, I went on to block all numbers and never went back since.

Did I need an extra 3-7 suits? Hell no.  I have about 5-7 suits already; plus a couple of blazers, vests, and an assortment of ties and slacks.  However, people will push you to do things you don’t want to do. If you’re not accepting, they become more adamant.

Don’t get me wrong, wearing perfectly tailored clothes gives me such a “swag” that no one else in Bangkok has.  However, it doesn’t give me true fulfillment, and that’s what Teacher Edward told me just a couple years prior.

“Listen, you can have all the clothes you want, Arsenio.  If you don’t know what you’re going to say, all of that won’t mean a damn thing.”

And the last Tai Lopez story is….

“There’s two ways you can consume, as a person making money,” he said to me. “There’s conspicuous consumption and inconspicuous. And conspicuous is what makes you unhappy. So I don’t have any nice watches, okay? And some of my friends are like, ‘You should have a Rolex because if you are successful, you need to show that.’ Well, I don’t really care about watches, never did. So if I bought a watch for myself, it would be what’s called conspicuous, me trying to show off.”

Excerpt From: Lewis Howes. “The Mask of Masculinity.” iBooks.

Wait, but kicking off a video with you getting out of a Lambo or standing in front of a mansion isn’t showing off?

Look, we’re going to do different things with out money.  Entrepreneurs like Gary Vee says reinvest, which is the smartest thing to do.  Other people go to high-end stores and saturate themselves with high quality “materialistic” things.  Other people travel.  However, if you think that’s going to let you into the “cool group” you’re sadly mistaken.

Does anyone know the movie called “richie rich?” Ahhh, as a child, this movie was amazing.  A little boy who was unbelievably rich tried to fit in with the neighborhood kids by playing baseball. They shoved him away constantly because he wasn’t “them.”  Money is not a code, it’s an enabler.

Podcast

Napoleon Hill: End of Failure Lesson – Failure Is Success + Turning Points

Neither temporary defeat nor adversity amounts to failure in the mind of the person who looks upon it as a teacher that will teach some needed lesson.  As a matter of fact, there is a great and lasting lesson in every reverse, and in every defeat; and, usually, it is a lesson that could be learned in no other way than through defeat.

Defeat often talks to use in a “dumb language” that we do not understand.  If this were not true, we would not make the same mistakes over and over again without profiting by the lessons that they might teach us.  if it were not true, we would observe more closely the mistakes which other people make and profit by them.

Napoleon Hill’s First Turning-Point

After finishing business college, I secured a position as a stenographer and book-keeper which I held for five years. I saved my money; and my bank account amounted to several thousand dollars.  My reputation spread rapidly and I found competitive bidders for my services.

Then kindly hand of Fate reached out and gave me a gentle nudge.  My employer lost his fortune and I lost my position. This was my first real defeat; and; even though it came from a result of causes beyond my control, I should have learned a lesson from it; which, of course, I did, but not until many years later.

Second Turning-Point

Next position: Sales Manager for a larger lumber manufacturing factory.  My advancement was rapid, my salary having been increased twice during the first year.

And like a stroke of lightning out of a clear sky, the 1907 panic swept down upon me; and, overnight, it rendered me an enduring service by destroying my business and relieving me of every dollar that I possessed.

Third Turning-Point

It required the 1907 panic, and the defeat that it brought me, to divert and redirect my efforts from the lumber business to the study of law. When I entered law school, it was with firm belief that I would emerge. I attended law school at night and worked as an auto-salesman during the day.

Again, I was beginning to near the end of the rainbow.  Again, I knew I had at last found my niche in the world’s work; that nothing could swerve me form my course.

My banker knew that I was prospering, therefore he loaned me money with which to expand.  A peculiar trait of bankers – a trait which may be more or less developed in the remainder of us also – is that they will loan us money without any hesitation when we are prosperous.

My banker loaned me money until I was hopelessly in his debt, then he took over my business s calmly as if it had belonged to him, which it did!

After putting up the hardest fight of my life, up to that time, I accepted my temporary defeat as failure. 

Fourth Turning-Point

My first position in Chicago was an advertising manager of a large correspondence school.  The first year I earned 5k$!

I was “coming back” by leaps and bounds.  Gradually the rainbow’s end began to circle around me, and I saw, once more, the shining pot of gold almost within my reach.

Self-approval is a dangerous state of mind.

This is a great truth which many people do not learn until the softening hand of time is rested upon their shoulders.

5-7 Turning Points – In The Podcast

And In The End…..

The publication of Hill’s Golden Rule magazine brought me in contact with the thinking class of people all over the country.  It gave me my big chance to be heard.  The message of optimism and good-will among men that is carried become so popular that I was invited to go on a country-wide speaking tour during the early part of 1920.

And the 7th turning-point came like this.  I was watching the hardest downpour of rain come down while sitting in a restaurant in Dallas, Texas.  The water was pouring down over the plate-glass window in two great streams, and playing backward and forward from one of these streams to the other were little streams, making what resembled a great ladder of water.

It flashed into my mind!

This could be a splendid lecture! Seven turning-points.  I can call it the “Magic Ladder to Success.”

On the back of an envelope I outline the fifteen points out of which this lecture was built.  Fifteen points = fifteen lessons.

Failure is success!

Podcast

https://www.spreaker.com/user/thearseniobuckshow/napoleon-hill-failure-is-success

 

 

Napoleon Hill – Failure – Introduction of My Physical Failure

Let me paint this picture of this life-turning night at Palo Verde High School back in May of 2005.

I was a 300m intermediate-hurdler who was favored to at least make it to the Sunrise Regional Championships.  I remember I failed miserably at the 110HH – not intentionally, but because I was more focused on the ‘endurance’ run that was approaching the next day.  So, here I am sitting on what feels like a frosty field for 10-20 minutes.  Before the race began, I did a fair amount of stretching to keep loose.  However, all athletes were forced to keep seated in the inside of the field until the 800m race had finished – which seemed like for AGES.

Boom, here we go.  Approached the blocks, glanced at the heavy crowd on-hand and I recall glancing at just two random Filipinos, making eye-contact with them.  It just seemed like at the moment, it was time to do WORK!

“Runners on your block!”

I did my usual jump-crunch and backed into my blocks, waiting calmly for the gun to go off and unleash hell.

“SET”

…………

“SHOT FIRED”

I’m flying out the blocks in tenacity so I can get ahead quickly and pace myself.  This track’s 300m race starts in the first curve rather than the back straightaway, which was very odd.  It didn’t throw me off, but I just remember getting to the first and last curve before I felt my legs tighten up on me.  Not to the point that I pulled my hamstrings, but it felt like I had 2-20KG cinder blogs on both shoulders.  The other athletes zoomed by me and I saw my hopes of making finals dwindle before my very eyes.

I finished, fell to the ground, and wept like a baby.  I staggered walking across the field in utter devastation and seeing some of my teammates looking at me with no reaction.  The hardest part was going to my coach and apologizing to him.  Other athletes from my team who were heavily favored to reach the Class 4A State Championship Race also didn’t qualify.  It was a night of misery.

Or was it?

Podcast 

Do This And You’ll Be Welcomed Anywhere

Some of you wonder why are you even reading some of my blog posts on how to win friends and listening to my podcasts on developing the confidence to win people? Why not just study the greatest man-winner of them all.  The thing that runs up to your leg, tail-wagging, licking you, jumping all over you.  Why not just study dogs?  This is the showing of affection, and you won’t have to sell him real-estate, buy him dinner, or marry him, either.

When I was younger, the first dog I had ever owned was a I-Dont-know-What-Breed called Muscles.  Muscles was the protector.  The warrior that protected us from all evils.  In plain English – the biggest and even sweetest dog you can ever imagine.  Later, snoop dog (yes, just like the rapper), which was a husky,  was inducted into the family.   And the last one was poncho….a ratchet and audacious chihuahua that wreaked havoc on just about everyone.  Anytime we went home, this trio would greet us with copious amounts of saliva.

Dogs are genuinely interested in their caregivers.  On the other hand, we try to win everyone’s interest by doing outlandish things.

The New York Telephone Company made a detailed study years ago about the most frequently used word.  Can you guess what it was? The personal pronoun “I,” which was used 3900 times in 500 calls.  When you see a group picture, whose picture do you look for first?

If we merely try to impress people and get people interested in us, we will never have many true, sincere friends. Friends, real friends, are not made that way.

It is the individual who is not interested in his fellow men who has the greatest difficulties in life and provides the greatest injury to others. It is from these individuals that most failures come about.

Podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/episode/12332584