How to Friendship Detox

We got the ultimate DETOX A FRIEND and FRIENDSHIP guide here. This was inspired by my main man Trent Shelton — a podcast that pumps golden gems in the world of social. So, I have some rules, stories, and lots more stories. So let’s get into it.

Be the friend that you want them to be to you. – Rule #1

See, when you’re giving 100% and they’re giving you 50% or even less, that means you’re pouring more than they are. Look at it as planting soil. You have a bag of about 10kg and your friend shows up to the planting session with 2kg and no seeds to plant, although they know both are essential. You have a problem, right? If you tell them to go out and come back, they still don’t have anything. When you commit to a friendship it has to be mutual.

If someone is continuously giving and another is continuously taking…it will come to an end. Rule #2

This is in all relationships. These are called leeches. They’re literally waiting for your paycheck, your upcoming, your explosion, and they’re just inching to make that call to leech off you (money or other things). This could be in terms of energy, too. One day I had gone to the gym and I had breakfast with this girl afterwards. When I went to the gym, I was like a 9. After working out with her, I was about a 5 because I felt a ton of bad energy. After 45 minutes of sitting in front of her, I fell to a 2. I never spoke to her on a personal level again because that’s an energy-draining human being. Be careful.

Don’t be there friend if they’re not your friend. — You can’t build something that’s not real. – Rule #3

Honestly, this happened to me recently. I’m literally trying to speak and build a friendship with a tomboyish girl and she was giving me nothing back. I would send her 10 minutes worth a voice messages, she would send me a paragraph. I would send her two paragraphs, she would send me a message. She then said “I don’t have feelings for you,” and I should’ve cut it right there, but a friend of mind told me to pursue and I was like “ummm, why? She doesn’t even give a damn about me as a friend.” Sure enough, I wanted to go silent to see if I would even cross her mind — and what do you think happened? Three weeks, I asked myself for forgiveness and that was the end of that. A true blocking on Instagram after watching an extremely bizarre story and seeing her have a blast with her friends. Ok, you can’t force friendship, Arsenio. This is what has happened with an old-friend-now-acquaintance who lives in America. I saw myself constantly supporting and helping her emotionally and she just never gave a damn. So, now I just keep my distance and let her watch my success. YOU CAN’T FORCE ANYTHING. It must come naturally.

Honorable Quotes

Associates with friends. You were just talking bad about that person 5 minutes ago and now you’re on social media being buddy buddy with that person. You’re giving friendship expectations to associates. – Trent Shelton

Trent Shelton Podcast

You’ll never be good friends to someone that you don’t want to be friends with. You don’t have to force it. They don’t want to have the hard conversation with someone to tell how it really is. – Trent Shelton

Trent Shelton Podcast

Real friends hold their friends accountable. They would check you, even if it makes you feel uncomfortable. – Trent Shelton

Trent Shelton Podcast

If you’re a person who always brings gossip to a friend but you don’t say anything, you’re not really a friend. – Trent Shelton

You got their back. – Rule #4

If someone is talking about your friend behind their back and you hear it, you won’t go back to your friend and tell them what they said without having a conversation about it. You must be real. If you don’t stand up for your friend, your integrity is lost.

Podcast

The Ramble of Positivity: Episode XXV – That’s Number Three!

My morning list…..

I’m so happy and grateful now that I have possession of the driver seat in my life.

I’m so grateful that I have the opportunity to travel when I want, where I want, and still be able to save as much as I do.

I’m truly grateful for how the first part of the year has been: character building to say the very least!

With all my heart, I’m truly grateful for having developed the intuition to guide me through difficult decisions, one being the removal of a potential job while accepting another one.

I’m thankful this day because when I walked into my new full-time job, with surrounding windows, staff and students full of smiles….I felt at home.

I’m happy for the majority of my viewers of this blog that are coming in from all over the world.

I’m truly grateful for fulfilling my needs of traveling, given the fact that after I came back from Singapore, I wanted to travel again.

With all my heart, I have to be grateful and thankful for the development of my personal being while resuscitating some wonderful friends and nurturing the ones I already have.

This is how your grateful list should look.  If you want to do it through affirmations, go ahead. As long as you’re putting your thoughts out there to the universe.

It’s been a crazy and turbulent first half of the year.  Trips to Malaysia, Singapore and now Laos (super plus side), but searching for a new job and trying to decide what’s best for me has been nothing short of chaos.  I had a bad feeling about a previous job, dumped them, and found a perfect job in a perfect setting that’s suitable for me.  How did I get through all of this? Knowing that with PMA, I would be guided to by my intuition.

I was recently talking to one of my students and I told her, “you know, this job, also known as New Education World (for Thai students to avoid be solicited by sex/wife tourists), made me have anxiety.  After I worked out, or even when I woke up, I had a bad feeling about what could’ve happened at work: “your students said this, we don’t have work, the student wants a white teacher.”  From the anxiety, I developed chest pain.  In February and March, my chest would get heavy when I arrived north of Bangkok, knowing not only that I was going to an openly racist company (just for the remainder months), but the people had been openly racist in the area (all of Pathumthani) for years.”

When I moved to Bangkok, away from all the madness, I was able to breathe.  Seriously, I didn’t have those feelings anymore.  See, if I had stayed there longer, it could’ve developed into depression — a condition that had a stronghold on at least half the sex/wife tourists “teachers” there.  I didn’t want to become a statistic.  Guys had died of heart failure, depression, and other things from this company, so it was best for me to GTFO of their and never look back.

And after this week, I now know that I’ll never have to travel to that area again for as long as I live.

See, when it comes to this thing called “depression,” there’s always an underlying problem.  Most actors/actresses are saturated with dollar signs, but they have an underlying problem that they’re not addressing.  I was heading for the “I hate everything about Thailand” phase of my life until I made a conscious decision to pursue the things I was doing well at.

When I did, life was never the same.  Now here I am, sitting down just hours before my flight (third country in just two months), smiling away, knowing that I’ve attracted and continue to attract to me the most beautiful opportunities.  I suggest you do this, too!

https://www.spreaker.com/user/thearseniobuckshow/the-ramble-of-positivity-episode-xxv-tha

 

Questions & Answers: Feeling Left Out? Drop Them!

That’s right! You heard it here first! Today I’m bringing everyone another Q & A – a Q & A from an individual in Asia.

“Hello, I see you do a lot of podcasts on friends and speak a lot about well-being.  I have a class with friends and we chat in a line group.  For the past month, they haven’t been replying to any of my messages.  They send 30 messages a day to one another, but they leave me out.  What should I do?”

See, that’s simple.  I went over a couple of things in my podcast in terms of this, but I’ll give you guys my story in bulk and how I handle “worry” situations.

Now, let me try to break this down as much as I can.

I was suppose to go to Spartan Thailand in two weeks with my original friends from the last Spartan.  Because one didn’t like pushing himself, “powerlifters do zero cardio,” I decided that I needed to go with some others.

I came across a gym called the Lab last September and loved them ever since….given the fact that everyone from there had done the Spartan Race before.

However, there was a little bit of a discrepancy of late.  Because it’s a distance (the race) away, I asked anyone and everyone about transportation (in the same group you’re in — Line)…….*crickets*

No one said anything and no direct messages were given.  This is called not acknowledging what other people are saying.  However, within a few minutes, someone brought up another random topic and completely ignored mine.

Push came to shove….I’m 3 weeks away and I found out the other guy I was going to would be staying in rat-infested Pattaya — the city with the most prostitutes in the Eastern Hemisphere.  I, having the dignity I do, don’t want to stay there.  But because he’s the driver, I have no choice.

I woke up this morning and I said, “ok, Arsenio.  You woke up with those asses on your mind.  They now have your attention.  They have your self-control.  You no longer have control over something so microscopic.  My question is….what are you going to do?”

I went to the group…..clicked “leave group.”

It’s that simple.  They completely ignored me and have been for weeks, no one is setting up transportation, and everyone is doing their own individual thing…yet they all have a team for the race (but no one converses with me?).

They’re undeserving of your attention, your work, your personality, and your well-being in general.  Maybe I’m going a little overboard, but if they’re bringing nothing to the table and you see them constantly talking to one another in the group, what’s the f***ing point of even having them in your group?  What are they giving to your tree? It sounds like they’re a bunch of ants who have mauled a dying tree, and if that’s the case, I would say “bye bye.”

I break the situation down more in my podcast down below!

Podcast

https://www.spreaker.com/user/thearseniobuckshow/questions-answers-feeling-left-out-drop-

Lewis Howes: Invincible Mask – What Can You Do Right Now?

A lot of people do big things or risky things to get the attention of others.  Remember at the beginning I talked about one of my students’ brother who slammed into a pillar at high speeds, intoxicated and ultimately killing himself.  He was unrecognizable after it happened.  Before he got on his bike, he told everyone that he was safe to drive, although he was completely inebriated.  He was going welllll over the speed limit and resulted in him no longer being able to live.

A many of these “van” boys drive at top speeds with spoilers off, trying to get the attention of women on the streets.  This gives them that since of invincibility and that’s why Thailand, by percentage, has the highest traffic fatality in the WORLD.  These adrenaline junkies are always looking for the next thrill.

So what can you do? What if you stole, or do things that could question the law just to get the attention of women? More importantly, what’s available if you take off the mask?

A fulfilled and healthy life span
Deeper relationships
Self-esteem
True courage
The permission to just be and not constantly do
A sense of belonging

Ask yourself these questions

What is valuable to me?

Friendships.  That invincible mask that Billy had on — I had on, too.  I would treat my best friend Andre like crap over the years, and after my run yesterday, he spilled the beans on how I treated them from a “funny” aspect.  However, I didn’t look at it as funny.  I was embodying anger from when Billy use to treat me like crap, so I wanted to dish out those feelings, too.

Andre is everything to me.  The most valuable friendship I have today.  When he speaks, I absolutely listen and take thought to it.

What do I value about my life?

I honestly need to stop playing the “black” card, as the Irish teacher told me.  I love that he’s in my face about it, because he shows me how much of a magnificent being I can truly become.  This is why I love the fact that I am “different.”  Just last night I was thinking to myself, “oh man! Look at all of these anglo men in the picture of this company that sent me those jobs three days ago.  No wonder I can’t get the job!”  Self-doubt.  I still have that lingering deep within my bloodlines, and it’s something I need to address immediately.

What am I looking for in these activities?

Can I see the true value in friendships and myself?

Can I get those things elsewhere in my life?

Absolutely NOT.  Once I’m gone, I’m gone forever.

Additional Questions In The Podcast

 

Wheel of Life: It’s A Little Foggy + Heart Talk Achieved!

Oh, yes! Welcome back to another edition of the wheel of life, which is coming about 5 days earlier from when I normally debut it.  I’m grateful as hell, regardless of all the things I’ve been through, but I do believe I’ve been looking in the wrong places.

Over the course of this month, it’s been a bit turbulent.  Job offers but no jobs; a woman applying for jobs for me – only to tell me “they chose another teacher;” British language center (not my cup of tea) which said they would use me, but they never did.

These are all just forms in the road and it revolves a little bit around career.  It’s been a bit wild in general, but it’s time to go over the month in it’s entirety!

Family & Friends – 4

Yeah, definitely a bit low from the last time.  Remember the story about the Indian girl who’s a fitness trainer? Yeah, too much baggage, lies, voids and no trust.  Dumped like a bad habit.  I’ve also realized that one of my best friends is an afterthought now.  This category took a ferocious hit this month.

What Now?

Ok, the loose and unwanted baggage has been taking out.  So what’s the next step? Nurture those life-time relationships I already have and don’t take the newcomers too seriously.

Family will always be family.  Not much around but hear some motivating words from my family from time-to-time.

Health – 7

In terms of my healthy living, it’s extraordinary.  I get enough sleep and I haven’t had any allergies whatsoever.  My mileage on my runs continues to go up and I don’t feel extremely tired after my runs, either.

However, I lost my shape 🙁 I’m very diligent now with my funds until something is consistent, so I haven’t been joining my workout class twice-a-week like I normally did last year.

Fun & Hobbies – 6

This is a bit unchanged because nothing miraculous happened over this month.

Romantic Relationships – Hell No

That’s a big hell no, too.

Career – 10

*CLEARED CONSCIOUS*

YouTube hit the biggest peak just a few days ago with people in almost every country listening to me.  It’s unbelievably fascinating and sooooo exciting! People are commenting, suggesting, recommending and speaking about me – on top of sharing my videos.  So grateful!

Podcast hit some massive spikes over the past week.  I’ve gotten some great downloads from countries such as Mauritius, and lots of isolated towns around America are figuring out about me.  I mean it’s finally beginning to promote itself!

Blog/website is very enticing to say the least.  I get sparks from Greece, Mexico, Tanzania and a few other countries, looking for my education blogs and whatnot.

The ultimate project I got could possibly land me residual income for the next 10 years, so now I’m hustling big time in terms of making practice tests and getting ready for the massive herd of people who are about to come in by the thousands – literally.

My graphic designer, who I probably will cut ties with soon, did my Facebook cover art and a few other things.  However, having things put off and attitude is started to make me second guess everything.  I think I will upgrade my wordpress site and install plugins.  MAYBE!

This is probably the immediate things that are happening.  Of course there are probably another half-dozen things that are taking place at the moment.  I’m just TOO EXCITED!

I think what’s happening and what just happened with my primary job, as of today, was a blessing in disguise and made me rethink a couple of things, thanks to someone who cares about me.

Personal Development – 9

Found ET (Eric Thomas) YouTube channel, along with listening to Be Inspired (another YouTube channel) has really changed me a lot over the past several days.  I’m literally on fire.  I’ve been doing a lot of reading and converting so much of it to blogs and podcast.

Physical Environment – 8

Now, I’m dumping the trash out right now.  Once that’s over, my environment should be at a consistent 10 every month.  New jobs all around Bangkok, wonderful women that I work with, big projects and living in a gorgeous condo says it all.

Wealth – 7.5

Worst month in terms of salary in January at the burning trash dump (lol – I love creating nicknames for this place).  However, I got my projects on board, teaching trainer project, and so many others are coming in.  This month I’ll be in a very good surplus, but March, April, and May will determine the outcome of whether I stay or go to possibly Spain or France.

Podcast

Choice

Everyone has a choice.  In the beginning, we all come into this world naked, scare, and ignorant to everything.  We have no color, no nationality, no nothing – just a name.

When it comes to our choices, they can be our best friend or worst enemy.  Sit back and think about it.  Everything in our life exists and is the way it is because of our choices. The choices we make are the roots of all our results.

My mother, unfortunately, has made a choice to live in the same neighborhood where gunshots are heard on a nightly basis.  Could she leave? Yes.  Why doesn’t she? Because she’s comfortable living uncomfortably.

African Americans in low-socio economic states in the likes of Gary, Indiana, to Flint, Michigan…..they make a choice everyday to go left, or do what’s right.  Everyone has it.

“For instance, have you ever been going about your business, enjoying your life, when all of sudden you made a stupid choice or series of small choices that ultimately sabotaged your hard work and momentum, all for no apparent reason? You didn’t intend to sabotage yourself, but by not thinking about your decisions—weighing the risks and potential outcomes—you found yourself facing unintended consequences. Nobody intends to become obese, go through bankruptcy, or get a divorce, but often (if not always) those consequences are the result of a series of small, poor choices.” – Darren Hardy

I recall having siblings and even friends coming home saying, “I ate a sandwich for lunch” – only to find them eat frozen food, packed with sodium and trans fat.  That small, mindless, thoughtless decision they made literally sabotage that “one good meal” they had previously.  A lot of people around the world don’t have intentions on becoming fat.  They don’t wake up one day and say to themselves, “fat is the new thing! I’m going to become obese so my organs can work double/triple and hammer my gut flora.”  Of course not.  However, unconsciously they make a series of poor A$$ decisions that lead them to the demise of…..them.

Podcast