How to Friendship Detox

We got the ultimate DETOX A FRIEND and FRIENDSHIP guide here. This was inspired by my main man Trent Shelton — a podcast that pumps golden gems in the world of social. So, I have some rules, stories, and lots more stories. So let’s get into it.

Be the friend that you want them to be to you. – Rule #1

See, when you’re giving 100% and they’re giving you 50% or even less, that means you’re pouring more than they are. Look at it as planting soil. You have a bag of about 10kg and your friend shows up to the planting session with 2kg and no seeds to plant, although they know both are essential. You have a problem, right? If you tell them to go out and come back, they still don’t have anything. When you commit to a friendship it has to be mutual.

If someone is continuously giving and another is continuously taking…it will come to an end. Rule #2

This is in all relationships. These are called leeches. They’re literally waiting for your paycheck, your upcoming, your explosion, and they’re just inching to make that call to leech off you (money or other things). This could be in terms of energy, too. One day I had gone to the gym and I had breakfast with this girl afterwards. When I went to the gym, I was like a 9. After working out with her, I was about a 5 because I felt a ton of bad energy. After 45 minutes of sitting in front of her, I fell to a 2. I never spoke to her on a personal level again because that’s an energy-draining human being. Be careful.

Don’t be there friend if they’re not your friend. — You can’t build something that’s not real. – Rule #3

Honestly, this happened to me recently. I’m literally trying to speak and build a friendship with a tomboyish girl and she was giving me nothing back. I would send her 10 minutes worth a voice messages, she would send me a paragraph. I would send her two paragraphs, she would send me a message. She then said “I don’t have feelings for you,” and I should’ve cut it right there, but a friend of mind told me to pursue and I was like “ummm, why? She doesn’t even give a damn about me as a friend.” Sure enough, I wanted to go silent to see if I would even cross her mind — and what do you think happened? Three weeks, I asked myself for forgiveness and that was the end of that. A true blocking on Instagram after watching an extremely bizarre story and seeing her have a blast with her friends. Ok, you can’t force friendship, Arsenio. This is what has happened with an old-friend-now-acquaintance who lives in America. I saw myself constantly supporting and helping her emotionally and she just never gave a damn. So, now I just keep my distance and let her watch my success. YOU CAN’T FORCE ANYTHING. It must come naturally.

Honorable Quotes

Associates with friends. You were just talking bad about that person 5 minutes ago and now you’re on social media being buddy buddy with that person. You’re giving friendship expectations to associates. – Trent Shelton

Trent Shelton Podcast

You’ll never be good friends to someone that you don’t want to be friends with. You don’t have to force it. They don’t want to have the hard conversation with someone to tell how it really is. – Trent Shelton

Trent Shelton Podcast

Real friends hold their friends accountable. They would check you, even if it makes you feel uncomfortable. – Trent Shelton

Trent Shelton Podcast

If you’re a person who always brings gossip to a friend but you don’t say anything, you’re not really a friend. – Trent Shelton

You got their back. – Rule #4

If someone is talking about your friend behind their back and you hear it, you won’t go back to your friend and tell them what they said without having a conversation about it. You must be real. If you don’t stand up for your friend, your integrity is lost.

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Wheel of Life: August 2019 – Stardom Begins!

I was watching TD Jakes recently and he said, “I never meant to be famous; I just wanted to make an impact.” Shortly after, notorious Washington Post (vile) wrote an article about him, completely defacing him of everything he represented (welcome to America — the House of Pain). See, I knew it was going to get to this point. When I was making my personal development podcasts in 2017, to the explosion of my ESL podcast in 2018/2019…..when I took the stage at the Bangkok International Digital Content Festival, I knew my life would change forever. As I was pacing, and using a variety of language to captivate onlookers, I didn’t know (and still don’t know today) how impactful my presentation was, but in my mind, I created that eventful Friday at Marriott Marquis Queens Park, a day in which I met app developers from all over the world. Here’s to the BIG ONE!

If you guys don’t already know, I was recently talking to another female entrepreneur (age of 19) who also spoke about the Wheel of Life. If it’s your first time viewing this blog, it’s time to begin and assess your life in the following categories and from number 1-10.

Personal Development – 10

Couldn’t be grateful enough. Those moments of struggle have paid off. I now value myself on such a level I KNEW I would achieve, but it was a struggle.

Physical Environment – In Podcast

Health – In Podcast

Wealth – In Podcast

Career – In Podcast

Fun & Hobbies – In Podcast

Romantic Relationships – 0

Friends & Family – In Podcast

Wheel of Life: May 2019 Edition – Weathering the STORM

Perhaps the storm of the century? After being stopped, for whatever reason it may have been (of course — it’s Thailand) at immigration, it threw my life into a whirlwind. I was scrambling to set up what should’ve been done last year. If it had fallen through, my time in Thailand would’ve been up. With determination and the willingness to get things done, I’m on the verge of finally solidifying myself on a visa needed to stay in the country and now I’m onto the next juncture in my life.

Nonetheless, this was the most emotionally exhausting few weeks since living here in Thailand (and certainly since 2014-2015). Take some steps back, reassess the situation, and execute if possible.

For those of you tuning in for the first time, the wheel of life cycle is a way of assessing my life over the last month in eight categories: personal development, physical environment, health, wealth, career, fun and hobbies, family and friends, and romantic relationships.

Wealth – 3

I’m going to cover just the ones that might be of importance for a lot of you. Some of you might be going through the same problems as me, yet you don’t know the solutions for getting over it. So, thi sone is especially for you all.

When everything began falling apart about a week ago, I had to take a step back and ask myself, “how can I make more money?” Robert Kiyosaki says if you say a statement, there’s nothing else you can do. It’s like quicksand that turn into cement.

Following that was a series of different occurrences. A lady, who I hadn’t spoken to in almost a year, called me out-of-the-blue. A few days later, I met with her an she offered me permanent, part-time work that enables me to get a decent, fall-back salary every month in case I don’t get work from my main job.

Ahhh, yes, the main job! On the verge of getting a visa and every salary this year has been head-scratching, to abhorrent. I cannot wait around and believe that people are going to fill my pockets. I had to go out and take, and that’s exactly what I did.

Family & Friends – 3

So, friends are gone. Yes, I met a friend while out there in Singapore, but after I came back, it’s been downhill. I must say that it’s quite funny when people try getting in touch with me again after x amount of weeks. A girl, who I had blocked because she was basically idolizing white men, sent me a message to my Facebook group. My content writer showed me the photo and I laughed. “Why come back now?” Unless it’s pure desperation, I won’t even think about messaging her back because there’s nothing to that friendship. It’s dead, history, archived.

Then, there was the weird situation where I met a samaritan from America at the base of my condo. After a few days, there was a message sent by him that was very…..peculiar. It was odd beyond belief. I didn’t quite understand it….to the point that I blocked him. That was so odd to the point that I was like, “whoa, how am I supposed to respond to a weird rant like that?”

Guys, dump those losers. Honestly, if they’re not feeding your roots or watering your plant, they’re looking for takeaway. When they get it, they’re going to leave anyway, so you might as well drop them from the beginning.

All in All

Let’s just say hypothetically speaking that everything goes the way it should. Now, living here in Thailand, nothing is perfect….but if all goes well today, and then all goes well next Thursday; 99% of my nervousness, anxiousness, and degree of worry will be expunged and done away with. When this happens, I’ll be able to refocus and reaffirm what’s really important in life.

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Wheel of Life: April 2019 Edition – Overcoming Fake Hurdles

What a month it’s been! Yes, lots of amazing souls I’ve come across, lots of connections, plenty of crazy podcasts, and getting the ears of a lot of people. Things are beginning to get real interesting…and that’s to say the least.

However, because of holidays here in Thailand, the Wealth section had taken a big hit, leading to a couple of other mental hurdles that I had created within my own mind. These have become increasingly problematic and has stopped me from thinking clearly.

There were morning that I woke up anxious, wondering what’s happening with work allocation and the places I work at…and so then I told myself, “ok, how can I make more money?”

When you rely on one source of income, you’re doomed. This is why I’ve always covered my ass in terms of side projects in and around Bangkok because I know when one source fails, I always have one that has my back. If I had become reliant on THAT specific place that doesn’t have any work right now, I would be in big trouble. Having multiple sources is always better than one source.

So, tides have changed. I’ve launched great things and have focused so much on myself.

If this is your first time tuning into the wheel of life, rate yourself in the categories below — 1-10.

Personal Development

Physical Environment

Wealth

Health

Career

Romantic Relationships

Fun and Hobbies

Family and Friends.

If you want to hear my stories, podcast is down below!

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Wheel of Life: March 2019 Edition – HERE IT COMES!

Boy, I woke up from a nap in the afternoon and realized that I had forgotten my wheel of life podcast! HEARTBREAKING!

Rest assured, I’ve delivered it and it’s time to kick things off!

So for those of you tuning in for the first time, you’re probably asking yourselves, “what is the wheel of life podcast?”

Perfect question.

Rate yourself on a scale 1-10 in the following categories.

  • Personal Development
  • Physical Environment
  • Wealth
  • Health
  • Career
  • Romantic Relationships
  • Family and Friends
  • Fun & Hobbies

Personal Development – 9

Yes, I have ‘Rich Dad Poor Dad’ in my ear, along with reading books and just injecting myself with so much information that can be extremely vital. However, there’s room for improvement.

For instance, my morning routine, which is always interrupted by my habit of picking up my phone, isn’t the best. I don’t do meditation as often and I don’t listen to affirmations in the morning. However, look at my self-awareness!

Physical Environment – 10

Quiet, cozy, conveniently located condominium and jobs that I enjoy going to. I don’t wake up in the morning saying, “ahhh I have this student or this job today.” That’s not in my vocabulary. I’m beyond content with what’s happening.

Romantic Relationships – X

You already know what this is. It’s been happening forever, but maybe because I’m so focused on achieving greatness in my personal life (with my career)

Circle of Friends (Family & Friends) – 8

I haven’t made that many contacts this month. I tried reaching out and I’ve also heard some amazingly inspiring stories, but it’s still not good enough. I have a ridiculously solid core around me, but then I’m let down because people can’t keep their agreements. So, I shoo them away and put them on the outside so that if they do leave again or do something that causes a disruption, I will have shrugged my shoulder and say “good riddance.”

Fun & Hobbies – 7

Yes, Malaysia, which was probably the most disappointing trip I’ve had since going to Laos (and for the last time) last year, did happen…but it’s nothing to brag about.

I filled in my Monday schedule again with more work after promising myself that Monday would be a core/meet friends day. I’m still cancelling people because I would much rather sleep than develop a relationship. See, lots of inner voices are still running rampant and I’m trying to control them.

Career – 10

Patreon to monetize my English language courses, UDEMY for the pronunciation course, business writing development for a client that’s going to score me my biggest ever salary, and so many other things. Yes, I haven’t been connecting and I’ve pressed “stop” on all interviewees (especially on my personal development podcast), but I’m more focused on the bigger picture now.

More in the podcast down below!

Wheel of Life: February Edition – On Track & Amazed

Welcome back to another edition of the Wheel of Life, people!

Now, lots of new people from all over the world are tuning in, so let me go over how this actually works.

Eight categories — scale 1 – 10 — goal is to be honest. Look at my scores below.

Personal Development – 10

Personal development is what you’re feeding your mind. Are you feeding it trash or things that will expand your vision? No more news; start opening books and take action on what you see in the books!

The reason why I’m rating myself a 10 is because this was the month I’ve been waiting for — for years. I was literally one person away from making things explode, and that’s exactly what happened — it exploded!

Entrepreneur/speaker/author Isabel Hundt, who I’ll be bringing on my ESL podcast in the new months, was the person that introduced me to the unbelievable masses and my podcasts have taken off since then.

To see where I’m at now in life in extraordinary compared to the previous month.

Romantic Relationships – working

So, where would you rate yourself in relationships? If you have a relationship right now, are you growing or dying together?

Things are happening, but lots of work has to be done in order for it work. This is why it’s a work in progress for me.

Physical Environment – 10

This was the big one for me. Of course, my main/primary work has always been solid, but the other places where I’m working — are sky high. I’m finishing two projects, but I’m inheriting private students who might loophole me into huge hotels around Bangkok.

Home life? Always solid. Not only that, my plants are GROWING!

5 pts for each….where would you rate yourself in your home-life and work-life? Be honest!

Health – 7

Ughhh, got hit with a runny nose and a couple of other things over the month. However, my overall health is pretty good. Mental health, as always, is phenomenal. I’m now at the heaviest in my life, but it’s pure muscle. This is the healthiest I’ve felt in a long time.

Mental Health, Physical Health, what you eat…..rate it together from 1-10.

Wealth – 8

This has always been a solid area, but there’s a hump that’s not being overtaken. That’s right…I feel subconsciously, I’ve limited myself to a specific figure. Yes, I have to travel because of visas, etc….but I still haven’t cleared a specific mark and I just realized it. So, it’s time to start doing some conditioning.

Overall, savings, checking, assets….where would you rate yourself?

Career – 10

This took a massive hit when the UOB potential suitor collapsed. Was pretty down for 24 hours because I thought this was the true game-changer. However, it was within those 24 hours that everything, including my blogs, podcasts, Facebook, Instagram, everything else…took off.

Ebooks, webinars, things to be edited, tasks to be delegated. This is the fiery one and it’s a beast….waiting to be unleashed. I do believe March is the monster.

Fun and Hobbies – 9

I FINALLY installed fun into my life! This has been a long-time coming! For the last few Monday’s, I hung out with a friend. Now, that friend has since gone away, but she did tell me to join seminars, which then lead me to joining a seminar hosted by a CEO of a gym I go to. See, some people come into your life and you need to see the breadcrumbs.

Not to mention, MALAYSIA! Omg! Two days and another Spartan Super is here! YIKES!

Family & Friends (circle of friends)

Now, mine is the circle of friends. I don’t really have “friends.” The acquaintances that are in my life linger around and come around when they want. Those aren’t friends…they used to be friends, but I don’t considere them friends today.

This is why it’s important to have that “circle of friends,” because they’re trusted people. Mine consists of mentors, coaches, entrepreneurs, etc. Some of the greatest people and people who with one message, can change my mind.

Now, it’s your turn!

Listen to “Wheel of Life: February Edition – On Track & Amazed” on Spreaker.

Wheel of Life: January 2019 Edition – The Calm Before Freedom

Boy, for a moment, I was scared as hell. After a huge scare at a job where a woman no longer wanted me to buy lunch, I overanalyzed the situation and scampered off without using their Grab taxi service, it taking 2-hours to get home…and it was a very good two hours because I was able to think things through.

On the train I reapplied for some jobs that I used to work for. After seeing one of the best jobs (a place where there were a number of mentors) advertising in the same area as my primary job, I quickly sent an email to the director, who I hadn’t spoken to in ages, and he responded in 10 minutes, completely ecstatic.

See, if you place all your eggs in one basket, such as what Americans do and have done for a long time, you could be in trouble. If I relied on the big job opportunity in February, only for it to not work, then what? I would’ve been defeated.

Don’t wait!

Wealth – 6

My goal this month was to create bigger opportunities. I was recently talking to a friend of mine and we chatted about having to work long hours to achieve so much, but now an achieve the same price in just an hour or two.

That was my motto this year. Stop chasing SHORT-TERM MONEY. I’m done making small money. I was willing to shove aside potential job suitors, extra jobs, and focused solely on one thing — the big opportunity.

Business cards made, powerpoint ready, enthusiasm checked, and if I land this, I’ll be able to go back to small money and say (here’s your alternative…16 hours a week or I walk).

Health – 8.5

It’s very flattering for women to approach me and say “omg, you have a six-pack!” Ok, that happens primarily in the gym when I’m gasping for air, but you get the point. Never have I EVER had anyone approach me or tell me that my physique was on par. I know exactly who I am so I don’t need the compliments, but I’m really starting to push myself.

Mental Health? I still have those moments where I become immerse into a very toxic society where women grip their purses firmly while walking by. Resets must take place. What did I do? Lisa Nichols’ Abundance Now AUDIOBOOK. That’s right. I found it and I’ve been listening to it for four days already…this quickly turned off that negative frequency and I’ve officially overcome THAT world.

Career – 10

I finished my first project of the year — creating the TOEFL project that pushed me to making my first revenue online.

Motivational Mentors is coming together.

Delivered all my material for luke Burrow’s Grow2Gether Academy.

Now doing live interviews on my English Language page to rack in more views. But if we talking about the bigger picture, I’ve actually delegated two mundane tasks that I simply didn’t want to touch. While listening to a Pat Flynn podcast during my commute last Friday, it dawned on me that I should probably delegate more things to my content writer, Jiun, so I don’t have to worry so much about the rest. This would improve my ebook process and give me more time to focus on other things.

Since I did that, I had her create a Trello account, which is great to put all of our tasks on and in one place so we know what’s next, rather than messages that get pushed down on a routine basis. Since then, efficiency has gone up significantly.

Find things that work better for you, people!

Personal Development – 10

I’ve not only been reading a lot, but now that I realize audiobooks are more of my thing, I don’t waste ANY TIME. Personal Development, as always, is pure fire.

Physical Environment – 9.5

Home life and work life. How are they? Where I live is never a problem, and my working environment, which is about 4 places, is fine. I could be dumping off another environment real soon to make it even better. If I start to travel while coaching and training, this could be the biggest transformation in my life EVER.

Romantic Relationships – DISASTER

At the beginning of this year, a relationship fell apart. In the last three years, three relationships have fallen apart, but all of them have taught me something. Other than that, this is going to be a “relationship free year” for me.

Fun and Hobbies – 8

YES! Now that I’m not teaching erroneous hours anymore that give me little pay, I’ve injected “play-time” into my schedule. Please, check this out on next Thursday’s podcast.

  • What are you doing for fun?
  • Do you have “me” time? Or are you constantly hustling?
  • What hobbies do you have?
  •  

Family and Friends/CIRCLE of friends – 8

I’ve created my own category called “the circle of friends” and this is because I don’t have family or friends. I have acquaintances on my outer circle and everyone else who’s of higher stature is in the inside because they’ve cemented their reliability.

All in all, people. I love doing this because it gives me so much awareness and I understand so much about myself in general — just because I’m able to to figure out what areas are hurting me. You should do the same, too!

Listen to “Wheel of Life: January 2019 Edition – The Calm Before Freedom” on Spreaker.

Romantic/Human Relationships: Goals for 2019!

Oh, yes! How can I become a better boyfriend!

I can’t. Lol.  I’m single and I’ll remain this way for a very long-time.  However, looking back on my past relationships, there were some areas of improvement. 

This is what relationships are about. Jack Canfield would ask his wife “how did I do today on a scale 1-10?”  She would give him a number and he would then ask, “how can I improve?” 

However, that’s a bad technique because you will always aim for perfection….but no one is perfect, right?  Although asking for feedback in very important, you might develop the “everything I do is still not enough” attitude towards someone. 

Another great technique I would implore to all of you would be what Darren Hardy does.  He actually sets an alarm for Friday at 6pm and then it goes off 48 hours later.  During these hours, he dedicates it entirely to his family.  That’s something that everyone is more than capable of doing, regardless of the workload. 

I’m more sided with the Vishen Lakhiani quote.  He said, “there’s a bullshit myth that life revolves around hardwork and hustling.  I think this is dangerous as hell to accept because it’s crushing families and lives all around the globe.”

Yeah, I’m not with the Gary Vee bullshit.  His book “crushing it” has toppled charts and helped me alot, but the majority of the things he says right now his so self-loathing and ignorant that I no longer follow him.  Not that his 10 million followers would care, but I’ve graduated from Gary Vee for the simple fact that he’s too “work and money centered” whereas if people with marriages actually believe the shit that comes out of his mouth, their marriage will ultimately end. 

For all of you out there who are in marriages/relationships…consider the following. 

  1. Are we growing or are we dying? (JUST BE HONEST.  Do you see yourself going anywhere? Or is it just the same s*** year after year? Are you fully content? Is this relationship you’re in holding you back from doing great things? Just ask yourself).
  2. What can I do differently? How can I be more loving, caring, and build more of an intimate relationship? 
  3. What messes have I not cleaned up? What did I repeat all year that she didn’t like (habits) and what should I do away with?
  4. What two things did I do everyday for the other half without being told to do it?

Me, relationships are a foregone conclusion.  I’m super content with my life right now, but maybe in the future someone will come about. 

Ask yourself these questions and see what’s happening and where you can improve. 

Listen to “Romantic/Human Relationships: Goals for 2019!” on Spreaker.

Wheel of Life: October 2018 Edition – Closing Out The Year

Another month, another close.  Yes, it’s been a year with far more ups than downs, but the closing is coming to an end.

How will you leave your mark?

For those of you tuning in for the first time, this is a podcast that’s for people who are willing to identify what areas of life are their strengths and which ones they’ve been neglecting.  Here are the categories.

  • Personal development
  • Physical environment
  • Romantic relationships
  • Health
  • Wealth
  • Career
  • Fun & Hobbies
  • Family & Friends

Rate yourself from 1-10 in each category and be brutally honest about yourself.  Once you understand what areas are suffering, now you’re consciously aware and can make a change.  Here are not only my categories, but what I need to improve in.

Improvement Stages Launch

Normally I’ve talked about my main scores followed by explanation, but I want to see where I can improve.  It’s not about becoming a perfectionist, but improving.

Physical Environment – *3

So, in terms of my physical environment, I believe that it can increase significantly.  First and foremost, my separate projects outside my main place of work are great.  A turning point happened at my job where someone “bitched” at me over something that isn’t even worth repeating (ok, it was about writing on a back of a sheet of paper), but it made me realize “maybe this place doesn’t deserve a teacher like me?”  When she did this, I scratched my head and said, “I’m not going to get my visa until early next year…and that’s if I’m still here.”

That’s called a yellow flag, folks.  Never fully commit when you have nastiness happening.

I’m now cancelling a lot of my availability with the job — because I CAN.  I’m also focusing on my main projects, but that and a couple of blackouts at my condo has hampered the everlasting 10 you would see on a continuous basis.

Physical Environment – *2

I could’ve increased my personal development by a large margin if I just know how to end my day.

I’ve been scuffling and trying to figure out an evening routine that’s suitable for m Because I finish work so ridiculously late, it’s very hard for me to end my day effectively (no excuses.  It all deals with my phone.  If I’m able to listen to affirmations or listen to my “calm” application, which has some nice story-telling to put me in a good state of mind, I win.  However, I haven’t been able to do that.

So, there are several things that I will implement. Tune into my podcast down below for that!

Career – *1.5

Honestly, I’m on the right track.  The comments, the love, the support, the things I’m attracting…but my actions are still not showing that I’m hungry for my ebook and webinar launch.

Wealth – *5

This was the category that made me upset.  I should be making a solid figure per month at my day job, but I’m not — STILL.  So, what can I do to buck the trend? In the podcast!

Because I don’t want to make this long extra long, I decided put everything into my podcast down below to here how I’m able to cope with things that aren’t working.

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Wheel of Life: September 2018 Edition – Grateful!

Period! Need I say more? Man, just looking back on some things that have happened at the beginning of this year and last year.  You know, some time around December, I remember going to a fitness class in the heart of Bangkok and seeing two Australian Air Force personnel and meeting them.  They were so happy and content, and the first time I met them, I opened up about moving to Bangkok and sharing them my story in terms of dealing with all the shenanigans of my last job.

I recall sharing other stories with the likes of personal trainers and I was under such distressed, completely unaware of what was going to happen in the future.  After contacting Chilean teaching headhunters and other corporations, I decided to possibly venture out and get out of Thailand.  Going back and forth with a place that was barely giving me any work because the vindictive revenge that they had in mind, I needed to get the hell outa there.

I got some part-time jobs here and there.  Two women, who were nice at the beginning of the year, helped me with March-May because of teaching TOEFL iTP at their small testing center.  I accepted a contract that I thought was steep (initially but it ended up being complete bullshit) and worked way outside Bangkok with another guy that looks 89 years old.  I had another side gig at a place that I found quite enjoyable (teaching a doctor) in an area that was just beautiful (but takes 1.5 hours to get home).  You guys understand, now.  The beginning of this year was tough.  It was bleak.  I got two jobs through emails and then turned down because the students wanted a “white” teacher.  I began applying for jobs in Malaysia, Tunisia, France, Spain, etc.  Lots of different offers were coming in, but I kept at it and stayed strong here.  Guess what? It all paid off.

Nonetheless, I just want to review the hardships because that’s where the primary growth takes place.  I never learn from seemingly non-stop success.  So to see myself on what looks like the pillar of success, is the greatest thing that has ever happened.  I’m humble, but here’s my Wheel of Life.

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