Stephen Covey’s 8th Habit | Season 6 – Episode 14 | Find Your Voice

“EVERYONE CHOOSES ONE of two roads in life—the old and the young, the rich and the poor, men and women alike. One is the broad, well-traveled road to mediocrity, the other the road to greatness and meaning. The range of possibilities that exists within each of these two destinations is as wide as the diversity of gifts and personalities in the human family. But the contrast between the two destinations is as the night is to the day.”

Excerpt From: Stephen R. Covey. “The 8th Habit.”

Diagram explanation in podcast.

“The path to mediocrity straitjackets human potential. The path to greatness unleashes and realizes human potential. The path to mediocrity is the quick-fix, short-cut approach to life. The path to greatness is a process of sequential growth from the inside out. Travelers on the lower path to mediocrity live out the cultural “software” of ego, indulgence, scarcity, comparison, competitiveness and victimism. Travelers on the upper path to greatness rise above negative cultural influences and choose to become the creative force of their lives. One word expresses the pathway to greatness. Voice. Those on this path find their voice and inspire others to find theirs. The rest never do.”

Excerpt From: Stephen R. Covey. “The 8th Habit.”

Restoring Relationship Trust

Another area that creates huge trust issues in personal relationships is money. As many marriage counselors affirm, money problems are a key cause of divorce. While many such problems are caused by lack of character (selfish or impulsive spending, attempts to control or restrict a partner’s access to shared resources, or efforts to hide spending from a partner), many are also caused by lack of competence (lack of education or experience in money management). In addition, two people coming into a relationship are often scripted in different ways by family experience — for example, one may come from a background of spenders, while the other comes from a background of thrift.

Here’s a story from Stephen Covey’s book

“For years, my husband and I had problems managing our money. We would agree to spend our money in a certain way, then he would come home with some new thing we hadn’t agreed on. It was very frustrating, and I eventually withdrew emotionally as a financial partner.

Over time, however, we both came to realize that this situation was negatively affecting the trust in our relationship, and we decided to change. He worked on being more responsible to act based on our agreements; I worked on expressing my opinions better and participating more fully in financial decisions. And together, we became involved in learning more about good financial habits, including budgeting and investing.

It’s taken quite a while to shift old habits, but through it all, we’ve become amazingly close and more unified in our financial values, goals, and habits. In fact, I’d say that now financial units is one of our strengths. Doing something together that was this challenging has created even strong bonds of trust in our entire relationship.

Positive Mental Attitude: Season 2 – Episode 21 – Quotient Analysis – Part B

We’ve got the second part of this coming up.

I initially separated these into three parts because it’s long and it’s going to take a lot of writing and time.  To get through all 16/17 right off the back, can be overwhelming.

7. Applied faith
(a) Do you have faith in Infinite Intelligence?

_____ _____
(b) Are you a person of integrity?

_____ _____
(c) Do you have confidence in your ability to do what you decide to do?

_____ _____
(d) Are you reasonably free from these seven basic fears:

(1) fear of poverty?

(2) fear of criticism?

(3) fear of ill health?

(4) fear of loss of love?

(5) fear of loss of liberty?

(6) fear of old age?

(7) fear of death?

_____ _____
8. Pleasing personality

(a) Are your habits offensive to others?

_____ _____
(b) Is it your habit to apply the Golden Rule?

_____ _____
(c) Are you liked by those with whom you work?

_____ _____
(d) Do you bore others?

_____ _____
9. Personal initiative
(a) Do you plan your work?

_____ _____
(b) Must your work be planned for you?

_____ _____
(c) Do you possess outstanding qualities not possessed by others in your line of work?

_____ _____
(d) Is it your habit to procrastinate?

_____ _____
(e) Is it your habit to try to create better plans for doing your work more efficiently?

_____ _____

10. Enthusiasm
(a) Are you an enthusiastic person?

_____ _____
(b) Do you direct your enthusiasm toward carrying out your plans?

_____ _____
(c) Does your enthusiasm overpower your judgment?”

11. Controlled attention
(a) Is it your habit to concentrate your thoughts on what you are doing?

_____ _____
(b) Are you easily influenced to change your plans or your decisions?

_____ _____
(c) Are you inclined to abandon your aims and plans when you meet opposition?

_____ _____
(d) Do you keep working regardless of unavoidable distractions?”

 

12. Teamwork

(a) Do you get along harmoniously with others?

_____ _____
(b) Do you grant favors as freely as you ask them?

_____ _____
(c) Do you have frequent disagreements with others?

_____ _____
(d) Are there great advantages in friendly cooperation among co-workers?

_____ _____
(e) Are you aware of the damage one can cause by not cooperating with co-workers?”

Excerpt From: Napoleon Hill. “Success Through A Positive Mental Attitude.” iBooks. https://itunes.apple.com/us/book/success-through-a-positive-mental-attitude/id381618319?mt=11

PDF

Podcast

 

Napoleon Hill: Your Standing Army – End of Lesson XIII

These fifteen soldiers are labeled: Definite Chief-Aim, Self-Confidence, Habit of Saving, Imagination, Initiative & Leadership, Enthusiasm, Self-Control, Doing More Than Paid For, Pleasing Personality, Accurate Thought, Concentration, Co-operation, Failure, Tolerance, Golden Rule.

This is the most powerful army on EARTH! This army is ready for the bidding of any person who will command it.

Will you take charge?

Without the aid of a definite purpose the remainder of the arm will be useless to you.  Find out, as early in life as possible, what your major purpose will be.  Neil Donald Walsh said in the secret, “alot of us think there’s this imaginary blackboard in the sky that god has for us.  We spend our entire life searching for this blackboard.  However, whatever that purpose or mission is…is the mission we give ourselves.”

Remember, Lincoln’s major definite purpose was to free black slaves of the south and he turned that purpose into a reality.  Roosevelt’s was to build the Panama Canal.  Henry Ford’s was to build the best popular priced automobile on Earth.  Bill Gates was to put a computer in every home in America.

If you can vitalize your mind with a definite purpose and immediately your mind becomes a magnet which attracts everything that harmonizes with that purpose.

The powerful man is the man who has developed, in his own mind, the entire fifteen qualities represented by the fifteen commanding officers shown in the picture.  Before you can have power you must have a definite purpose; you must have self-confidence with which to back up that purpose; you must have initiative and leadership with which to exercise your self-confidence; you must have imagination in creating your definite purpose and in building the plans with which to transform that purpose into reality and put your plans into action.  You must mix enthusiasm with your action or it will be insipid and without “kick.” You must exercise self-control.  You must form the habit of doing more than paid for.  You must cultivate a pleasing personality.  You must acquire the habit of saving.  You must become an accurate thinker, remembering, as you develop this quality, that accurate thought is based upon facts and not upon hearsay evidence or mere information.  You must form the habit of concentration by giving your undivided attention to buy one task at a time.  You must acquire the habit of co-operation and practice it in all your plans.  You must profit by failure, your own and that of others.  You must cultivate the habit of tolerance.  Last, but by no means the least important, you must make the golden rule the foundation of all you do that affects other people. – Napoleon Hill.

Create a picture of this army and keep it where you can see it everyday.  Study these soldiers everyday, by reading my blogs, or by listening to my podcasts.

Podcast

https://www.spreaker.com/user/thearseniobuckshow/napoleon-hill-your-standing-army-end-of-

Napoleon Hill: Cooperation – The Necessary Instructions For Action

Gary Vee kind of s***s on the secret, saying that “if you think you’re just going to visualize sitting in a yacht, thing again!”  He was talking on The Breakfast Club, a controversial show, and shortly after one of the speakers said, “hey, I actually believe that – but you have to follow it with action.”

See you have physical action and mental action.  You can be very active with your mind while your body is inactive.  If you believe that visualizing a billion dollars in your lap will make you obtain a billion dollars without inspired action or a burning desire, think again.

There are some men of action.  One his a dynamo and one is a balanced wheel.

The man who is a “balanced-wheel” who does nothing but compile facts, figures and statistics is just as much as a man of action as the man who goes upon the platform and sells an idea to a thousand people by the sheer power of his active personality.

A good reference is when a man, who has hated me, called for a meeting and almost my ahead.  He sat there showing statistics that were completely covering up the internal problem of the company.  He said, “your renewals are going down.”  I can sit here and justify why my renewals are going down, but the fact and matter is that one of the “top” academic teachers in the company had a 30% lower mark in renewals than me – yet I was being scrutinized heavily for students “not renewing.”

“The world pays you for what you do and not for what you know.”

This statement could be a bit misconstrued.  What the world really pays you for is what you do and what you can make others do.

A man who can make others co-operate and do effective team-work, or inspire others so that the become more active, is no less a man of action than the man who renders effective service in a more direct manner. – Napoleon Hill

The main purpose of this book and what I’m trying to convey is to help you analyze yourself and determine what your native ability.  Figuring out your definite chief-aim is the first part.

Let’s now talk about how action can be developed.

First: Form the habit of doing each day the most distasteful tasks first.  This procedure will be difficult at first, but after you have formed the habit you will take pride in pitching into the hardest and most undesirable part of your work first.

THE MUNDANE TASKS! Remember I’ve been saying this for almost two years.  Completing the most mundane tasks first and free-ing up those attention units are pivotal.  Some people like to brush it aside, but get it done, and out of the way first.

Example, if I have to write monotonously boring reports for students, bet your a$$ I’m going to do it almost immediately.  The philosophy in terms of putting something on paper for a student rather than explaining it to them face-to-face is quite unsettling.

If someone tells me to do something that I don’t want to do…but that I have to do, I’m going to hurry up and do it.

Another example is preparing for a big project.  If my colleagues say: “could you please send this, come in and talk to us about this…blah blah blah” – I’m going to do that immediately.

Second: Place this sign in front of you where you can see it in your daily work, and put a copy in your bedroom, where it will greet you as you retire and when you arise: “Do not tell them what you can do; show them!”

Third: Repeat the following words, aloud, twelve times each night just before you go to sleep: “Tomorrow I will do everything that should be done, when it should be done, and as it should be done.  I will perform the most difficult tasks first because this will destroy the habit of procrastination and develop the habit of action in its place.”

Fourth: Carry Out These Instructions with faith in their soundness and with belief that they will develop action, in body and in mind, sufficient to enable you to realize your definite chief-aim.

Podcast

Happy New Years + Goal-Setting Time + YouTube Video/Podcast

HAPPY NEW YEARS!

Being on top of my balcony and seeing the amount of fireworks I did last night was just resounding.  I felt the love in the air and now I’m onto the biggest year of my life (as I said last year and it exceeded my expectations).

On the other hand, the majority of people this  morning have resolutions, but they don’t have the proper techniques, skills, and things in place to make their “goals” manifest.

For one, resolutions base-word is “resolve,” meaning you’re looking to resolve something in your life.  You can handle that just by dumping the girlfriend/boyfriends, quitting the s***ty job, and learning how to say ‘no’ more often.

So, let me let you in on some techniques + some of the goals I set for myself in the past and what’s happening this 2018.

Habits

What’s a habit? Something that has turned into a daily party of our routine.  We wake up, brush out teeth, take a shower, get ready — that’s all habitual.  It’s on auto-pilot.  However, we’re oblivious to the bad habits that are happening: eating junk food, engaging in heated online debates, watching television, being around the wrong who bitch all the time.  These are also habits.  So what did I do?

2017 Was The Change

I needed to compile a morning routine that would ultimately help me win the day.  You have what Jim Quik said in terms of brushing your teeth with the opposite hand, making your bed, etc.  These are all wonderfully great things, but I’m still not able to win it.  I’ll give you a nice glimpse at my morning.

Normally at 5:30am I wake up (I sleep the night before at about 9:30), and I go straight into a meditation.  If I have a busy morning, which I normally do, I do the meditation “overcoming procrastination,” which is a guided meditation with one of the apps I use (let me know if you want the name in the comment section).  After that, I would take my vitamins and possibly even a pre-workout, depending on if I workout in the morning.  After that, I post on an inspirational message on my instagram, and sometimes even my podcast (which could’ve been pre-recorded).  I then record or pre-record a live podcast.  Now, depending on if I’m working out in the morning or not, for the bulk of this year, I would workout around 8am.

  • Meditation
  • Posts on Instagram
  • Inspirational message on twitter
  • Podcast
  • Blog
  • Workout
  • Work
  • Grateful List

This was the bulk of my year, but things have changed.  So, if I workout (and now I do) at 6:45am, my podcast has to be pre-recorded and blog done the day before.  During the commute, I would post everything on social media and then hit it hard.  After I workout and before I go to work, I would have my protein shake, rice & pork, and respond to emails, messages and other things for 30 minutes before my students arrive.

This is how I ultimately had such an effective morning for a good portion of the year.

Sure, it’s not always going to work, but a behavior compounded over time becomes a habit.  That’s what you will need to succeed.

Night Routine

Same as the morning routine. Now, night routines are extremely difficult at times because once I get home, I want to get on the news.  This is why I’ve been media fasting on and off.  Reading something that doesn’t pertain to me, my goals, and just revolves around the ‘circle of concern’ is disastrous.  However, on the nights everything did work, this is how it went.

During my commute home I turn off all notifications.  I say what I need to say, respond to emails, then that’s it.  When I get home I make sure I set everything up for the next day.  Clothes are packed, bottles for working out, belts, socks — YOU NAME IT!  This is how it happened.  If I can read before I sleep, it would be a success.  Normally, I always do my meditation.  Now, depending on how the day went, there’s a lot of head trash that gets thrown at me throughout the day at work.  Opinions and ignorance of colleagues, management, and just being in a very “slummy” area where people look down on me.  Those tides have changed though.  But when these things happened, I would do the “detox my mind” podcast so I can wake up fresh.

Goal-Setting

Here’s a list of things to add into your morning routine.

  • Make your bed
  • Grateful list
  • Meditation (20 minutes)
  • Exercise (20 minutes)
  • Read (20 minutes)
  • Inspirational podcast or YouTube video (I listen to Gary Vee)
  • News Feed on all social media MUST have inspirational messages on there.  Follow the people that make you feel better.

Now, onto Goal-Setting.

Now, first thing is first…get rid of these phrases: I wish, if only, I don’t, I can’t, but I don’t have….

These are all doomers.  They’re either in the future or completely denying your ability and mindset of obtaining a goal.

When you figure out your vision, life-purpose, desire, objectives and everything for this year, then you can unleash the power.  Thinking about goals gives you a 43% chance of obtaining them.  Writing them down gives you a 56% chance.  Sharing them with a friend bumps it up to a 64% chance.  And then there’s the weekly progress report to a friend – 76%.  This gives you an idea of how it works.

To make sure the goal is imbedded into your subconscious mind, you must meet two criteria: how much (measurable quantity), and by when (specific time).

Example: I want to travel to Bishkek, Kyrgyzstan.  – Wrong

The conditional “I want” is a killer.

I will travel to Bishkek, Kyrgyzstan this year. 

  • Better, but there isn’t a specific time frame.

I will travel to Bishkek, Kyrgyzstan on April 13th by Astana Airlines and come back April 20th. 

  • Now this is sexy.  I have the time, month, and even specific airline.

The universe loves action!

Go online and start looking for the airlines, hotels and everything that relates to your travel.  This is something that my mother was never able to overcome because she always said, “I don’t have any money. I wish I can go, but my finances aren’t straightened out.”  They never will be! There’s never a right time for anything! When you get that intuitive nudge, act!

This is the power of goal-setting.  Visualize yourself being on the snowboarding fields in Hokkaido, Japan by listening to a blizzard and fire crackling.  Look up how much the tickets are, where to stay, and everything that relates to the trip.  That’s where the magic happens.

Podcast

 

YouTube Video

Napoleon Hill: Lesson 11 – Concentration

Let us first device the word concentration:

“Concentration is the act of focusing the mind upon a given desire until ways and means for its realization have worked out and successfully put into operation.”

There are two important laws that coordinate with the act of concentrating the mind on an objective: auto-suggestion and the law of habit.

What is habit? I’ve preached this so many times and you guys have to really understand what it is to have it work to your advantage.  For example, just two days ago I fell completely out of sync with my purpose in life, feeling absolutely miserable.  However, there was a post that ignited that fire within me just yesterday and this morning, at 6:20am, I’ve accomplished more in the past hour than most people have done in a day – out of habit!

Habit can grow out of the environment – doing the same thing you do over and over and over again.  If you look at people who are poor, people who are rich; people who are in line with goals and people who aren’t….it’s all predicated on habit.  Repetition – out of thinking the same thoughts and doing the same things over and over.  It kind of resembles a cement block that has hardened in the mood.

“Except on rare occasions when the mind rises above environment, the human mind draws the material out of which thought is created, from the surrounding environment, and habit crystallizes this though into a permanent fixture and stores it away in the subconscious mind where it becomes a vital part of our personality which silently influences our actions, forms our prejudices and our biases, and controls out opinions.” – Dale Carnegie

So frankly put, environment very large supplies the food and materials out of which we create thought.

You want to know how to can create good habits right now? How to use all of what I’m telling you to your advantage? Well, I’ll be jotting down an excerpt from Napoleon Hill’s book and also will include a PDF at the bottom of the page so you can read this over twice a day.  Be sure to print it and hang it anywhere in your home….a place where you’re going to see it and read it everyday.

First: At the beginning of the formation of a new habit put force and enthusiasm into expression.  Feel what you think.  Remember that you are taking the first steps toward making the new mental path; that it is much harder at first than it will be afterwards.  Make the path as clear and as deep as you can, at the beginning, so that you can readily see it the next time you wish to follow it.

Second: Keep your attention firmly concentrated on the new path-building, and keep your mind away from the old paths, lest you incline toward them.  Forget all about the old paths, and concern y ourself with the new ones that you are building to order.

Third: Travel over your newly made paths as often as possible.  Make opportunities for doing iso, without waiting for them to arise through luck or chance.  The oftener you go over the new paths the sooner will the become well worn and easily traveled.  Create plans for passing over these new habit-paths, at the very start.

Fourth: Resist the temptation to travel over the older, easier paths that you have been using in the past.  Every time you resist the temptation, the strong do you become, and the easier will it be for you to do so the next time.  But overtime you yield to the temptation, the easier does it become to yield again, and the more difficult it becomes to resist the next time.  You will have a fight on at the start, and this is the critical time.  Prove your determination, persistency and will-power now at the very beginning.

Fifth: Be sure that you have mapped out the right path, as your definite chief aim, and then go ahead without fear and without allowing yourself to doubt. “Place your hand upon the plow, and look not backward.” Select your goal, then make good, deep, wide mental paths leading straight to it.

PDF of The Rules Above (printable): Rules of Concentration

Podcast:

Four Good Working Habits That Will Help Prevent Fatigue

Good Working Habit #1: Clear your desk of all papers except those relating to the immediate problem at hand.

I remember someone told me, “if you walk into an office and see a man’s desk, you will know exactly what his mind is.”  In other words, if you go into an office and see a messy desk, you’re going to be dealing with someone with a messy mind.  A disorganized closet, home, car, etc….you know exactly what the person is.  My brother’s car was always filthy.  I want you to make a guess if he was fit or not? No.  He drank, and probably continues to drink almost on a nightly basis with a rapidly deteriorating lifestyle.

This is being brought up because someone else might be going through the same problem that my brother has gone through, and continues to go through today.  Without accepting someone’s help on alleviating the problem, it will fester and gradually grow into something you won’t be able to shake off.

Every morning I have my to-do list.  What are the things I need to do immediately in the morning? Respond to emails, post my inspirational message on my instagram (The Arsenio Buck Show), make sure everything is in place for my podcast, clothes are laid out and ready to go….etc.  This is of course after my meditation and priming.

Good Working Habit #2: Do Things In Order of Importance

Normally I delegate the task of washing, ironing and pressing my clothes to the lady down the road; however, I fall off on getting my clothes and let it spill over for a couple of days without collecting them.  That’s an issue.  I recall Tim Ferris saying, “what’s the one thing you can do out of ten things whereas if you do it, it makes everything much easier?” Do first things first! You will never see me writing a blog before a podcast in the morning.  The blog comes AFTER.

Good Working Habit #3: When You Have A Problem, Solve It Then & There

Too many people let things boil over to the next day.  I’m a victim of that.  There have been so many times when I didn’t confront someone about a problem and I ended up losing sleep.  What happened the next morning? I woke up up disgruntled and my day continued on in the same fashion.  Three months ago I couldn’t even focus in the gym without having an influx of thoughts about my current job come to mind – ultimately causing myself to lose motivation in the gym, which then lead to an explosion at work.  SOLVE PROBLEMS IMMEDIATELY

Good Working Habit #4: Learn To Organize, Deputize and Supervise

I recently heard a story from a friend that revolved around her ex-employer paying her late.  This is a travesty in the working world.  Another instance occurred, and continues to occur today which teachers at an international school in Thailand — get paid three months late.  The three above do not exist within that particular school.  As a director, if you don’t deputize and supervise, your school will end up losing it’s value.  Moreover, the students suffer the most.

These, of course, are just examples of how you can establish some good working habits.

https://www.spreaker.com/user/thearseniobuckshow/four-good-working-habits-that-will-help-

Napoleon Hill: Lawrence Massacre + Ending of Self-Control.

If and when an angry person starts in to vilify and abuse you, justly or unjustly, it’s your reaction and the retaliation in a like manner where you will either be drawn down to that person’s mental level, or rise above it.  If you do fall down to their level, that means that person is dominating you.

On the other hand, if you just refuse to become angry and have that self-composure needed to keep you calm, you will take the other person by surprise.  Retaliating with a weapon that the other person is unfamiliar with will catch them off guard and easily dominate them.

Look at the majority of salespeople around the planet.  When an angry customer comes in hailing and flailing expletives and adjectives of all kinds, are they going to retaliate in the same manner? Absolutely not.  When the outburst subsides, the person who was using vilification will feel like a……douche.

Always remember, like attracts like! There’s no denying this.

Lawrence Massacre Story On Podcast

 

Summary of Self-Control

We’ve learned that our thoughts and actions towards others resemble an electric magnet which attracts to us the same sort of thought and the same sort of action that we, ourselves, create.

We have learned that the human mind responds in kind, to whatever thought impressions it receives.  We have learned that kindness begets kindness and unkindness and injustice beget unkindness and injustice.

Easy, huh?

Everything we put out comes back in a much larger measure.  We have learned that the human mind responds in kind, to all sensory impressions it receives.

Now it’s time to go into lesson seven which is an extremely critical one – Habit of Doing More Than Paid For.

Chief Factors Which Enter Into The Development of An Attractive Personality

First: Form the habit of interesting yourself in other people; and make it your business to find their good qualities and speak of them in terms of praise.

Second: Develop the ability to speak with force and conviction, both in your ordinary conversational tones and before public gatherings, where you must use more volume.

Third: Clothes yourself in a style that is becoming to your physical build and the work in which you are engaged.

Fourth: Develop a positive character, through the aid of the formula outlined in this lesson.

Fifth: Learn how to shake hands so that you express warmth of feeling and enthusiasm through this form of greeting.

Sixth: Attract the people to you by first :attracting yourself” to them.

Seventh: Remember that your only limitation, within reason, is the one which YOU set up in YOUR OWN mind.

  • If you will cultivate those finer thoughts, and feelings, and actions, out of which a positive character is built, and then learn to express yourself with force and conviction, you will have developed an attractive personality.
  • There is a great power of attraction back of the person who has a positive character, and this power expresses itself through unseen as well as visible sources.
  • Every “shady” transaction in which you engage, every negative thought that you think, and every destructive act in which you indulge, destroys just so much of that “subtle something” within you that is known as character.

For example, I do my banking here in Thailand with KTB, not because it’s the closest, but because the tellers, cashiers, and even people working the door are unbelievably charismatic.

I always eat pizza at a restaurant called wine connection, not only because the pizza is delicious, but because the waiters and waitresses are amazing with service.

The people who I engage with throughout my daily life I’m attracted to because their personalities, character, and charisma is rare.