Masks of Masculinity: Season 1: Episode 2 – What Can You Do Right Now To Remove The Alpha Mask

“The first step to shedding this mask is, in a way, just embracing that fact. Just give yourself enough gut-check moments about the kind of behavior you see around you. It isn’t enough to see it; you’ve got to see it and then have a reaction that’s more critical than complimentary.” – Lewis Howes

Honestly, your true friends don’t give a damn about how “alpha” you are.  All it takes is for a male to say that “one time” and I’ll switch him off and can him in no-time.  Alpha Males honestly pile a lot of pure pressure on their peers.  I saw my brother succumb to pure pressure back in 2000 when his friend, Brandon, told him to spoke a cigarette.  When I saw him smoking a cigarette, I was amazed.  What is this 14-year-old kid doing smoking a cigarette; let alone he’s my brother.

Now that I think of it, all of these alpha males my brother is or was friends with ultimately took him down a path he never wanted to go down.  There was a Puerto Rican, ego-maniacal friend my brother had by the name of Raf who would constantly demean me because I was the “younger” one.  The other friends my brother had at the beginning of his young adulthood had already committed crimes, or they were into drugs, smoking weed and playing videos games all day.  What my brother thought was “cool” was a disease he was slowly drowning himself in.

Now that you know the situations, now it’s time to breakdown what you can actually be free of if you remove this mask.

Win-win scenarios
Being the hero who lifts others up
The joy of being in service
Empowering others around you
Letting go of being in control
Deeper sense of love

“Work for win-win scenarios in every possible circumstance. Use your energy to win and empower others to win. Instead of looking for things that separate us, look for things that unite us. Instead of looking for evidence that your way is the only way, try other people’s ways. Listen, connect, and hear other people’s ideas. A true leader doesn’t need to be right in order to feel worthy; he is able to see the best idea from anyone and bring it to light.”

Excerpt From: Lewis Howes. “The Mask of Masculinity.” iBooks.

What does winning mean to you? What does losing mean to you? If you look at all the NFL players, they’re obsessed with winning and hate losing.  Losing is the greatest part of life…and this is how a lot of them are sucked into wearing the Alpha Mask.

I lose everyday in Thailand.  I lose at getting the typical passerby’s respect.  That’s my loss, and I love it.  I’m a man who’s not afraid of showing his emotion.  When I cross the line at the Spartan Beast later on this year, I will cry.  I’ll go on Instagram stories and show my emotions to the world, too.  That doesn’t make me any less of a man than Ray Lewis. Your self-worth shouldn’t be wrapped up in winning.



The Crazy Thought – Lack of Adaptability = My Gains!

Not adapting to the market can leave your company in shambles.  There’s a massive discrepancy between generations right now.  I work with people over 50 who think conversation isn’t important in learning English; however, their ego is going to ultimately supplant the country, leaving it dry of work and resulting in closure.

In any working environment or business world, if you don’t push your ego aside, your company will never recover and those who do adapt – will win.

So, I had a thought.  There have been a lot of things happening at work.  After the change of management last March, there was a steady decline and then a plunge.  The amount of work coming in now is close-to-none; and condensing classes makes it harder for teachers to get work, too.  Not only that, but there was a curriculum that I developed (conversation) that amassed millions upon millions of baht.  Because the Gen B thinks it’s not necessary to learn English, he’s now trying to make the staff sell the monotonously horrific 4 skill courses over conversation.  That means he’s going from what is a full-circle, to 20%, resulting in whats going to be a demise within 18 months.  Luckily I’m just a couple months away from never walking in that place again, but after watching and listening to so many Gary Vee videos online, I realize that I could become an opponent.

Not only that, but I just read an article online that the government is implementing Smart Visas – one being for “start ups” to try and drive more foreigners in here.

Do you understand what my next move is now? That’s right.

Jack Canfield -How Much, By When?

Bob Proctor once asked a gentleman during an interview more than 30 years old, “how much money do you want?”

He replied, “a lot?”

“That’s not measurable.  That’s not a number.  You’re not specific so the universe has no idea how much “a lot” is.”

To make sure a goal releases the power of your subconscious mind, it must meet two criteria: how much (some measurable quantity such as pages, pounds, dollars, square feet, points) and by when (a specific time or date).

“I will have a six pack.”  That’s not as measurable as “I will have a six pack by the end of the month.”

The time and date is the most important because giving that specific aspect of your goals lets just say expedites it.  Include every little details about the goal you want to achieve.  The color, size, features, etc.  The more vague you are, the more vague the results are.

Jack Canfield also held a seminar whereas this lady specifically said, “I want a lot of money.” So he (acting as a universe) gave her a dollar.  She said, “I want more.”  He gave her an extra quarter and said, “is this enough?”

“No.  I want more!”

“Well be more specific,” he said.

A Goal Versus A Good Idea

Here’s a few examples on how to engage your subconscious mind, a goal or objective.

  • Good Idea

I would like to own a nice home on the ocean.

I want to lose weight.

I need to treat my employees better.

  • Goal or Objective

I will own a condominium in Pattaya oceanside on the 37th floor just outside Jomtien beach.

I will lose 5 pounds by April 15th, 2017.

I will give 25$ bonuses to each employees at the end of the month when all tasks are met.  If they complete more than what they’re paid to do, I’ll add on a vacation day.

The specificity that comes along with goal setting needs to be vivid.  Example, if you want a home, write down the location, landscaping, furniture, artwork, sound system, floor plan.  If you don’t have an idea, go on  They have such a wide variety of perks for home decor.

When you write it all down, your subconscious mind will know what to work on.  It will know which opportunities to home in on to help you reach goal.

When you create your goals, be sure to write down some big ones that will stretch you and require you to grow to achieve them.  It’s a good thing to have some goals that make you a little uncomfortable.  Why?  Because the ultimate goal, in addition to achieving your material goals, is to become a master at life.  And to do this, you will need to learn new skills, expand your vision of what’s possible, build new relationships, and learn to overcome your fears, considerations, and roadblocks.



Q & A: When, Why, & How Did I Start Traveling?

From being an interested boy in the mid-90’s, to meeting my first every Japanese friend on Myspace 10 years later, to traveling to Australia where an idea was born. Here it is!

The Backstory 

I woke up in the morning to see that an earthquake had taken place in Japan – a country which I described as a “red dot in the middle of a white piece of paper.”  Coming from a predominantly Caucasian and African American neighborhood, I was unaware of the way they looked.  I only recall seeing seeing the flag in another occasion such as Street Fighter on Super Nintendo.

I asked my mom, “mom, where is this?”

She replied, “Japan, boy!”

I said, “what dat mean?”

She retorted abruptly, “boy, don’t make me smack you in the mouth.”

And there that goes.

Myspace – 2006

At the conclusion of high school, my mom bought desktop computer for our household and once the internet got hooked up, I immediately got on myspace as any captivated teenager would; and shortly after, I found myself in the Japanese forums trying to meet people in Japan.

That moment back in the 90’s rescinded within me to the point I was so enthused about meeting people there – thousands of miles across the pond. And, so I did.

Satomi Nakagawa.  She was my first ever foreign friend; however, her English was very limited at the time.  Over the course of a year or so, and me being at college in Arizona, we kept in touch (since she was attending university in Miami) leading up to 2008.  After a massive argument with my brother that resulted in the police coming to my house and me making the decision to move out of my mom’s house, I moved into a bachelor’s pad apartment with my best friend.  It all culminated into a text message from Satomi saying she bought a RT ticket from Kyoto-Las Vegas and she ended up coming to Vegas that August.

When this happened, my life changed forever – it wasn’t necessarily the wondrous Satomi, but the idea was born. The idea whereas satomi dropped on her knees a day before leaving and sobbed before saying, “I’m never going to see you again, am I?

I replied, “I’ll come to see you.  I promise.”

And when this happened, I literally made an oath to myself that I would see her again, even if it was the last time.

Early May Morning – 2009

Email to Satomi: “Satomi, you’re in Australia going to school, right? I’m thinking of traveling this summer and would love to come see you, only if I could stay at your duplex with you friend for the two days and not pay hotel. HA!”

I went from being at a moped shop the day before and almost giving up 1500$ for one of them, to going to Australia on July 22nd, 2009.

Life is a game of inches, as Al Pacino once said. Why? If I had bought that shiny blue moped, I would’ve never gone to Australia – resulting in a cubicle job for the next ten years.

Yes, I met a girl named Satomi, and I did fall in love with her.  Well, that’s what I originally thought, but it wasn’t her… was the idea of going abroad for the first time and seeing how much of a magnificent world I lived in.

8 countries, lots of experience, and a compelling story later….HERE I AM!

Thank you, Satomi.  Regardless of the fallout, it was the idea in our short-story that got me to where I am today.