Dale Carnegie’s ‘How To Win Friends & Influence People’ – Full Book Review + Podcasts From My Favorite Chapters

It’s been a long time since I’ve done podcasts and blogs on this particular book because I thought the substantial amount of great material dwindled towards the end.  So, here are my best chapter and podcasts down below if you want to listen on in!

 

Do This & You’ll Be Welcomed Anywhere

If we want to make friends, let’s greet people with animation and enthusiasm. When somebody calls you on the telephone use the same psychology. Say “Hello” in tones that bespeak how pleased you are to have the person call. Many companies train their telephone operators to greet all callers in a tone of voice that radiates interest and enthusiasm. The caller feels the company is concerned about them. Let’s remember that when we answer the telephone tomorrow.

Showing a genuine interest in others not only wins friends for you, but may develop in its customers a loyalty to your company.

“I would like you to know how much I appreciate your staff. Everyone is so courteous, polite and helpful. What a pleasure it is, after waiting on a long line, to have the teller greet you pleasantly.
Last year my mother was hospitalized for five months. Frequently I went to Marie Petrucello, a teller. She was concerned about my mother and inquired about her progress.”

 

The Big Secret of Dealing With People

Complimenting and the desire of feeling important.

“The next time you enjoy filet mignon at the club, send word to the chef that it was excellently prepared, and when a tired salesperson shows you unusual courtesy, please mention it.”

“Try leaving a friendly trail of little sparks of gratitude on your daily trips. You will be surprised how they will set small flames of friendship that will be rose beacons on your next visit.”

“When we are not engaged in thinking about some definite problem, we usually spend about 95 percent of our time thinking about ourselves. Now, if we stop thinking about ourselves for a while and begin to think of the other person’s good points, we won’t have to resort to flattery so cheap and false that it can be spotted almost before it is out of the mouth.”

Excerpt From: Dale Carnegie. “How to Win Friends & Influence People.” iBooks.

How To Interest People

Be interested in what others have to say.

How To Make People Like You Instantly

When someone is having a bad day, compliment them. (Story of Port of Subs in the podcast down below).

You Can’t Win An Argument

You can’t win an argument. You can’t because if you lose it, you lose it; and if you win it, you lose it. Why? Well, suppose you triumph over the other man and shoot his argument full of holes and prove that he is non compos mentis. Then what? You will feel fine. But what about him? You have made him feel inferior. You have hurt his pride. He will resent your triumph. And—

The Safety Valve In Handling Complaints

Most people trying to win others to their way of thinking do too much talking themselves. Let the other people talk themselves out. They know more about their business and problems than you do. So ask them questions. Let them tell you a few things.
If you disagree with them you may be tempted to interrupt. But don’t. It is dangerous. They won’t pay attention to you while they still have a lot of ideas of their own crying for expression. So listen patiently and with an open mind. Be sincere about it. Encourage them to express their ideas fully.

A Simple Way To Make A First Good Impression

How To Criticize And Not Be Hated For It

 

 

 

Final Podcast of This Book

Napoleon Hill – Concentration Continued + The 3 R’s

We have seen what an important part environment and habit play in connection with the subject of concentration.  Let’s now get into the three R’s as stated in Napoleon Hill’s Law of Success.

  1. Retention: The receiving of a sense impression through one or more of the five senses, and the recording of this impression, in orderly fashion, in the mind.  This process may be likened to the recording of a picture on the sensitised plate of a camera or soda.
  2. Recall: The reviving or recalling into the conscious mind of those sense impressions which have been recorded in the sub-conscious mind.  This process may be compared to the act of going through a card index and pulling out a card on which information had been previously recorded.
  3. Recognition: The ability to recognize a sense impression when it it called into the conscious mind, and to identify it as being a duplicate of the original impression, and to associate it with the original source from which it came when it was first recorded.  This process enables us to distinguish between “memory” and “imagination.”

Now lets look at the principles and see how we can apply these….

First: when you wish to be sure of your ability to recall a sense impression, such as a name, date or place, be sure to make the impression vivid by concentrating your attention upon it to the finest detail.  An effective way to do this is to repeat, several times, that which you wish to remember. Just as a photographer must give an “exposure” proper time to record itself on the sensitised plate of the camera, so must we give the sub-conscious mind time to record properly and clearly any sense impression that we wish to be able to recall with readiness.

Second: Associate that which you wish to remember with some other object, name, place, or date with which you are quite familiar, and which you can easily recall when you wish, as, for example, the name of your home town, your close friend, the date of your birth, etc, for your mind will then file away the sense impression that you wish to be able to recall, with the one that you can easily recall, so that when bringing forth one into the conscious mind it brings, also, the other one with it.

Third: Repeat that which you wish to remember, a number of times, at the same time concentrating your mind upon it, just as you would fix your mind on a certain hour at which you wished to arise in the morning, which, as you know, insures your awakening at the precise hour.  The common failing of not being able to remember the names of other people, which most of us have, is due entirely to the fact that we do not properly record the name in the first place.

Podcast

https://www.spreaker.com/user/thearseniobuckshow/napoleon-hill-the-memory-game

A Simple Way To Make A First Good Impression

Walking up to everyone, smiling before shaking their hand.  You will be remembered, why? The emotional reaction behind it.

Lily Singh, who’s a prominent Indian-American youtuber, mentioned Jimmy Kimmel in a chapter of her new book titled, “shake what your momma gave you.”

Jimmy began laughing in confusion as to why he was in that specific chapter, given the fact that his hips are definitely a big lie (lol).  Lily retorted by saying he has a tremendous character.  One day, both of them walked into a room somewhere in Hollywood and although everyone had already known who Jimmy Kimmel was, he still walked up to every single person in that room and shook their hand.  That’s a man with class.

Have you ever had a terrible day and then you saw yourself staring at a baby who was in pure joy? This baby ends up establishing a connection with you and either they will stare at you ominously (like in Thailand LOL), or they will smile at you.

There was a day I was walking out of my favorite restaurant (Wine Connection) and this child literally ran right up to me and hugged my leg with a big smile.  I poked his stomach and he nudged at me.  I walked a meter before seeing his parents smiling at me — BOOM! My day was made!  Children have the personality of a dog essentially……huh? Arsenio, what the hell are you talking about?

Think about it…..what other things do you see on the planet that makes you smile instantaneously? Babies and dogs….why? They have nothing to complain or worry about.

Professor James V. McConnell, a psychologist at the University of Michigan, expressed his feelings about a smile. “People who smile,” he said, “tend to manage, teach and sell more effectively, and to raise happier children. There’s far more information in a smile than a frown. That’s why encouragement is a much more effective teaching device than punishment.

“You don’t feel like smiling? Then what? Two things. First, force yourself to smile. If you are alone, force yourself to whistle or hum a tune or sing. Act as if you were already happy, and that will tend to make you happy. Here is the way the psychologist and philosopher William James put it:”

“Action seems to follow feeling, but really action and feeling go together; and by regulating the action, which is under the more direct control of the will, we can indirectly regulate the feeling, which is not.”

Podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/episode/12362134

Enthusiasm + Creed

I will repeat again, “the human mind is a marvelous piece of machinery!”

One of the most outstanding characteristics are the impressions which reach it, either through outside suggestion or auto-suggestion.  The negative impressions could be stores away, all in one portion of the brain, while the positive impressions are stored in another portion.  When one of these impressions is called into the conscious mind, through the principle of memory, there is a tendency to recall with it all others of a similar nature, just as the raising of one link of a chain brings up others links with it.

For example, anything that causes a feeling of doubt to arise in a person’s mind is sufficient enough to call forth all of his experiences which caused him to become doubtful.

If I’m engaged in a conversation with someone I met online and my instinct begins talking to me, that’s because my guards are being raised and I ultimately reminisce what happened the last time I was in a situation similar to the one that was taking place.

If a man is asked by a stranger to cash a check, immediately he remembers having cashed checks that were not good, or of having heard of others who did so.

Through the law of association all similar emotions, experiences, and sense impressions that reach the mind are filed away together, so that the recalling of one has a tendency to bring back to memory all the others.

Take the feeling of fear, for example; the moment we permit a single emotion that is related to fear to reach the conscious mind, it calls with it all the relations.

You need to deliberately place in your own mind, through the principle of Auto-suggestion, the ambition to succeed through the aid of a definite chief aim, and notice how quickly all of your latent or undeveloped ability in the nature of past experiences will become stimulated and aroused to action in your behalf.

There are a few things I want you to read aloud and do this daily either before you get out of bed, or before you retire at night.

I do not believe that i can afford to try to deceive anyone, about anything, but I know that I cannot afford to try to deceive myself.  To do so would destroy the power of my pen and render my words ineffective.  It is only when I write with the fire of enthusiasm burning in my heart that my writing impresses others favourably; and it is only when I speak from a heart that is bursting with belief in my message, that I can move my audience to accept that message.

There have been times, and many of them, when it appeared that if I stood by this principle it would mean starvation.

There have been times when my closest friends, and business advisers have strongly urge me to shade my philosophy for the sake of gaining a needed advantage here and there, but somehow I have managed to cling to it, mainly, I suppose, for the reason that I have preferred peace and harmony in my own heart to the material gain that I might have had by a forced compromise with my conscience.

Strange as it may seem, my deliberations and conclusions on this subject of refusing to strange my own conscience have seldom been based upon what is commonly called “honesty.”  That which I have done in the matter of refraining from writing or speaking anything that I did not believe has been solely a question of honor.

Also, read the following law aloud because it embraces a great law that you must understand and apply before you can become a person of influence.

In making these requests, for the sake of emphases, I am not trying to take undue liberties with you.  I am giving you full credit for being an adult, a thinker, an intelligent person, yet I know how likely you are to skip over these vital laws without being sufficiently impressed by them to make them a part of your own workaday philosophy.  I know you weakness because i know my own.  It has required the better part of twenty-five years of ups and downs – mostly downs – to impress these basic truths upon my own mind so that they influenced me.  I have tried both them and their opposites; therefore, I can speak, not as one who merely believes in their soundness, but as one who knows.

Podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/episode/12270145