Fake It ‘Till You Make It?’ — NO!

As I was sitting on my bed just yesterday evening, I covered my eyes in horror.  What I was hearing and seeing was something so new to me, but yet so frightening.  Millennials, those who are easily swayed into doing certain things, are being sucked into this horrific lifestyle.

Miami, a place where people believe the beaches and nightlife is everything, is actually a place of depression,  Here you have these young teenagers LYING about their life, posting it on Facebook, but in fact, it’s all fake.

This youngster, who went by an alias, apparently had “rented” cars from dealerships, and then he would rent them out to other guys who are/were visiting from outside to take photos.  After doing that, he would post all the pictures on Instagram, claiming that he owns them and that “this” is the type of lifestyle that young adults want: cars, sex, clubs, women, drugs.

This polarizing figure somewhat reflects what Tai Lopez has done.  He repackaged a book and sold it for obscene amounts online.  His target market? The middle east and India.  He displayed his array of super cars in his garage, had women walking around in hi-heels, but it was all show without any substance.  Tai Lopez has now come out with more YouTube videos as ads, again displaying a woman in a red dress walking into a Bugatti before walking away and trying to give the “weak-minded” some advice that would — sway them — into buying his course.

The amount of people who are falling prey to these controversial figures, especially those who showcase their materialistic things, is extremely high.

From Tai Lopez, to the middle school dropouts who saturate the streets at night in Miami; please, don’t fall victim to the trap.

Podcast

Season 1: Episode 4 – Book Review – Material & Sexual Mask

Let me first ask you some questions.

  • Are you driven to a country because of sexual activities?
  • Do you want to buy a car because of your insecurities?
  • Does having a big house mean more to you than making a difference?

Those are the most basic questions in terms of these masks.  From the sex tourists that have made Thailand the number 1 tourist destination on the planet as of 2017 (ok, not all are, but a significant portion of that 20 million came here to engage in sexual interaction), to the high society who lavish themselves in luxuries to cover-up what’s really wrong underneath their skin.

Welcome to the two most vicious masks of society (as most of them are).

Ok, maybe the material mask relates to women more than men, but if you put the #entrepreneurship hashtag in on Instagram, you will see a lot of men wearing super expensive suits (rented), wearing fancy watches (also rented) while standing in front of planes (jumping over fences to get to them) or standing in front of cars (without the license plate pictured).  Yes, I’m calling out the Laguna boys who seemingly lost all perspective in terms of living.

Shows such as Jersey Shore made it much worse when it was all about body-building, money and the latest trends.  This goes for both men and women.

Lewis Howes, at the time of writing the book, was sitting in a massive mansion in Beverly Hills.  This mansion was owned by one of the most polarizing characters (and still is) by the name of Tai Lopez.  Yes, the man who spouted “KNAWLEDDDGEEE” all over the net, preaching to people about the “good” life on a Ted Talk stage, and someone who would constantly show his materials.  He also went on to say, “these materials don’t mean anything,” but it’s a selling point for you to get those weak-minded individuals into buying your courses?

Anywho, this is a man who’s hampered by the media-crazy materialistic America.

“The irony is, for so many people, all that materialism invalidates the quality of a person’s ideas. There’s nothing Tai can do to get those people to hear him, which just drives him further behind the Material Mask. It’s like someone trying to convince you that they care about you by screaming, “I love you!” louder and louder right in your face at the top of their lungs with the veins bulging out of their neck. You don’t hear the words; you only see the vulgar display.”

Excerpt From: Lewis Howes. “The Mask of Masculinity.” iBooks.

What’s available if you drop the mask?

Fulfillment
Worthiness
Inner peace
Attracting people who are interested in who you are, not how much you have
Feeling enough
Satisfaction with your achievements
Gratitude

 

Sexual Mask

I worked at a job in Pathumthani, Thailand who had about 13 anglo teachers (the emphasis is coming), all of which who escaped a terrible divorce, got shunned by their own children (who no longer speak to them) and ended up seeking refuge by marrying a poor woman from a village.  This is the story of the over 45s here in Thailand.

Ok, those are wife-tourists.

Let’s put some focus on the sex monsters.

 

Lewis Howes: Material Mask – Part III

“Whatever success you’re after, keep in mind that someone has already had it, hated it, and deluded themselves into thinking that just a little more would solve their problems.” – Ryan Holiday

Excerpt From: Lewis Howes. “The Mask of Masculinity.” iBooks.

It makes you think a lot about materialistic things in general, doesn’t it? I’m completely fine making a solid 3k-5k a month.  All I really care about is traveling, making a difference, and once I start making over that amount, I’ll develop a non-profit organization and build schools in impoverished countries.  That’s my life assignment.

Some people’s life assignment revolves around getting a Bugati.  Look at Christian Guzman, for instance.  Back around August of 2016 before my breakthrough, I would watch his videos to try to get a burst of inspiration.  Instead, it was about houses, money, and cars.  A lot of followers, again in the comment section, would hurl rhetoric at him in terms of lavishing himself in luxury.  The point I’m trying to make is during the video, I felt his energy.  And in saying that, his energy was so off.  He had such a feeling of discontent with the entire process.  He did not seem happy whatsoever.  Same thing goes with another YouTuber (fitness) named Chris Jones.  I feel that he’s another person who doesn’t seemed entirely fulfilled, although he has a gorgeous house, significant other, and car.  This is what scares me.

“I think one of the big reasons why men, specifically, chase money and fame is because they were turned away earlier from those feelings of acceptance and attachment, and they found some security in this myth that being rich, that having Tai’s house, will finally make them feel like men.” – Lewis Howes

Luckily, I’ve never been one of those men.  However, I feel like a particular clothing store, which I would get my clothes tailored from, was pushing me to the bring of having a Material Mask.  It being an Indian based store in BKK, they’re very pushy.  They would constantly push me to buy and invest more after picking up some.  Thankfully, the last time I went there (back in April), the manager ripped me off completely and told me to pick up 300$ worth of clothing (which would be only one suit and a pair of slacks – compared to five shirts, three slacks and a blazer just a year before) by the following week.  I left and said, “is this it? Is the trust broken?” And if I had gone back to pick up everything, I think not only would I have lost all my dignity, but the mask would be officially on.  I messaged another employee expressing discontent; and later on that evening, I went on to block all numbers and never went back since.

Did I need an extra 3-7 suits? Hell no.  I have about 5-7 suits already; plus a couple of blazers, vests, and an assortment of ties and slacks.  However, people will push you to do things you don’t want to do. If you’re not accepting, they become more adamant.

Don’t get me wrong, wearing perfectly tailored clothes gives me such a “swag” that no one else in Bangkok has.  However, it doesn’t give me true fulfillment, and that’s what Teacher Edward told me just a couple years prior.

“Listen, you can have all the clothes you want, Arsenio.  If you don’t know what you’re going to say, all of that won’t mean a damn thing.”

And the last Tai Lopez story is….

“There’s two ways you can consume, as a person making money,” he said to me. “There’s conspicuous consumption and inconspicuous. And conspicuous is what makes you unhappy. So I don’t have any nice watches, okay? And some of my friends are like, ‘You should have a Rolex because if you are successful, you need to show that.’ Well, I don’t really care about watches, never did. So if I bought a watch for myself, it would be what’s called conspicuous, me trying to show off.”

Excerpt From: Lewis Howes. “The Mask of Masculinity.” iBooks.

Wait, but kicking off a video with you getting out of a Lambo or standing in front of a mansion isn’t showing off?

Look, we’re going to do different things with out money.  Entrepreneurs like Gary Vee says reinvest, which is the smartest thing to do.  Other people go to high-end stores and saturate themselves with high quality “materialistic” things.  Other people travel.  However, if you think that’s going to let you into the “cool group” you’re sadly mistaken.

Does anyone know the movie called “richie rich?” Ahhh, as a child, this movie was amazing.  A little boy who was unbelievably rich tried to fit in with the neighborhood kids by playing baseball. They shoved him away constantly because he wasn’t “them.”  Money is not a code, it’s an enabler.

Podcast

Lewis Howes: The Material Mask & Tai Lopez Excerpt

YIKES! I mean, I can write probably a book on what Americans deem to be happiness – just go to Beverly Hills and see yourself! Yes, I took shot at Beverly Hills, although I stay there with an ex-boss of mine and his wife for a day this past April.  The Material Mask – the most highly sought after mask on the face of the planet.

From Instagrammer influencers posing with six-figure cars, to people flaunting their riches on yachts.  I find it very laughable because deep down inside those individuals are insecurities far beyond what “normal” people have.

For example, the YouTube guru who took the world by storm over a two-year period, Tai Lopez, is deemed as a “scam” artist.  Some people say that he packaged his own course from Jack Canfield’s ‘Success Principles.”  Others dissected his videos to the molecular level when they realized that some of the people he would be in the video with, at the time, weren’t even listening to him.  Collection of books in the garage; house “rented” out, women wearing 2-piece bikinis and so much more.  Nonetheless, this man amassed a fortune behind a very ambiguous past and everyone to this date is still unaware of his age.

Get this, regardless of what you might or might not like about him, he was one of those people who didn’t have that type of money when he was younger.  So, when he got the money, he lavished himself in it and had to show everyone.  His Tedx, called the ‘Good Life,’ was a bit laughed, in my opinion.  This coming from a public speaker – but this human being by the name of Tai Lopez has still been able to make millions of dollars.  Dollars that he must show to the rest of the world to make them feel inferior.

Podcast

https://www.spreaker.com/user/thearseniobuckshow/lewis-howes-material-mask-tai-lopez-intr

The Masks of Society, Identifying Yours & The Journey

1.The Stoic Mask: Because every man must be invulnerable and tough, emotions are carefully managed and suppressed. There can be no crying, no pain, no feeling. A wall is put up between him and the world to protect him, to pretend he doesn’t feel the things he does, because weakness is an invitation to scrutiny and judgment and rejection.

2.The Athlete Mask: One of the clearest ways a man can distinguish himself is on the field or on the court. He is like a modern-day gladiator whose weapon isn’t death, but domination. Sports are how men prove themselves, and a good athlete is a good man—period. This means spending hours in the gym to get in shape. It means fighting through injuries and pain and fear to win at all costs. And of course, if for some reason a man isn’t good at sports, he had better compensate for that by loving them and knowing everything he can about them.

3.The Material Mask: There is no clearer sign of a man’s worth than the amount of money in his bank account. Not only do men work incredibly hard—and sometimes do questionable things — to make as much money as possible, it’s all for naught if other people don’t know how much money he has. In this way, his cars, his watches, his houses, and his social media feeds become a representation of who he is. A man’s net worth becomes his self-worth.

4.The Sexual Mask: A man is defined by his sexual conquests—his worth determined not only by his bank account but by the number of women he’s slept with. Relationships? Those are for lesser men—for quitters and settlers. A real man loves them and then leaves them—but he’s so good in bed, they’re left fully satisfied, of course.
5.The Aggressive Mask: Men are aggressive. It’s their nature. They’re violent and tough, and they never back down. When they see something they want, they take it. Men hate; men have enemies. Of course they have a temper; of course they break things; and of course they get into fights. They’re the hunters, not the gatherers. It’s what men do. A man who thinks otherwise is not a man and is responsible for the weakening of the world.

6.The Joker Mask: A man has a sense of humor and a wit that can repel even the most withering critique or the most nagging doubt. Talk about his problems? Okay, Dr. Phil, maybe later. Cynicism and sarcasm and a sense of superiority, these are the intellectual weapons that a man uses to defend against every attempt to soften him or connect with him. If you want a man to let you in, expect a knock-knock joke, not an open door.”
7.The Invincible Mask: A man does not feel fear. A man takes risks. Whether that’s betting his life savings on a company or cliff diving or smoking and drinking in incredible quantities, a man doesn’t have time to think about consequences, he’s too busy doing. Other people (i.e., women and betas) have “problems.” But men? Men have it all under control. They’ve “got this” and they’ll be fine.

8.The Know-It-All Mask: A man is not only physically dominant but intellectually dominant too. If you don’t understand why that is, a man is happy to explain it to you—along with all the other subjects he’s an expert in. He went to a top school, he watches the news, and he knows all the answers. He certainly doesn’t need your—or anyone’s—help. He knows it all.
9.The Alpha Mask: At the most basic level, men believe that there are only two types of men: alphas and betas, winners and losers. No man can stand to be the latter—so a man must dominate, one up, and win everything. A man can’t ever defer. As a man, he must be in control, and he can’t ever do anything a beta (or a woman) would do.

Excerpt From: Lewis Howes. “The Mask of Masculinity.” iBooks.

  1. This has to be one of the strongest misrepresentations of the African American community.  Turn on your TV in America and see a man berating the airways by Lavar Wall, preaching that he’s a man because of whatever reason.  People, especially men, who cry, are not men….period.  I’d have to say a good 70% of American men have this “Stoic” mask on, but luckily I’m not one of them who suffers from it.
  2. On part of the other book I’m doing by Darren Hardy, his father was definitely a representation of the “Athlete Mask.”  Football coach among so many other things taught Darren to be “tough,” but that toughness also equated to amazing habits and unshakable discipline that manifested millions upon millions of dollars.   However, if you look at the “jocks” of high school – you need to have a letterman jacket, a car, and a ton of girls to be considered the “cool guy” of the school.  I still remember a handful of those boneheads that walked around school with their chest out – and all of them are working 10$ hour jobs at the age of 30.  Damn.
  3. INSTAGRAMMERS! How many of you have scene those men, “motivational” (although fake) posts of guys in ultimate, luxurious suits strutting those high end watches in front of Ferraris? Yeah, these are the fakes.  These are the men who seriously believe their bank accounts and being successful only means the dollar signs.  90% of American men MUST suffer from this, because it almost seems like every Instagram post I see has a link that says, “click the link to make six figures.”
  4. This is more of the Generation Z tribe.  I remember also being in school and hearing African Americans (just trying to make a point about a specific group) that would spew sexual rhetoric towards their friends: “did you f*** her yet? Ahhh n*gga you a b****!”  Yeah, welcome to my junior and senior year of high school in North Las Vegas.
  5. Men who club. PERIOD! I believe clubs are grounds for the worst people, including women.  How often do you hear of the “big fight after a night club closed” news?  Go online and type “fight at the club” and hundreds of videos will pop up.  These are men trying to claim their territory, most notable men such as singers Chris Brown and the singer from Canada (completely forgot his name) who got into a massive scrum inside of a nightclub.  Short-tempered thuggery is what I call it, but this also happens at football games in Europe (Serbia) where hooligans throw chairs and all kinds of objects at each other…..for…..nothing.
  6. Yes, and no.  There is a colleague I have that just uses endless amounts of jokes and doesn’t take anything serious. That’s not necessarily a mask, though. There have been a few people that tread this line before, but nothing very blatant.
  7. MY BROTHER! My goodness.  This made me laugh out loud.  Drinking, smoking, etc…he also has the know-it-all-mask.  Try telling him anything and he wants to argue to the point a fight breaks out.  If the sea looks black, please agree….or else.
  8. Shaquille O’Neal, Kobe Bryant, along with so many other athletes who try showing that they’re “macho” blur out this “Alpha male” bs.  There’s no such thing as Alpha.  If there is, it’s a man who’s beyond insecure to show his true side.  My best friend, who lives in New York, tried being an Alpha male….but there were times I saw his weak side (that he doesn’t want to show).

Podcast

Tim Ferris: Questions & Actions: Monday

1. What would you do if there were no way you could fail? If you were 10 times smarter than the rest of the world?

Create two timelines—6 months and 12 months—and list up to five things you dream of having (including houses, cars, clothing), being fluent in Spanish, visiting Samoa, in that order. If you have difficulty identifying what you want in some categories, as most will, consider what you hate or fear in each and write down the opposite. Do not limit yourself, and do not concern yourself with how these things will be accomplished. For now, it’s unimportant. This is an exercise in reversing repression.

2. Drawing a blank?

No excuses to why you’re being held back from your dream. NONE!

If this is the case, even if you’ve ran into a mental roadblock, consider these questions:

a. What would you do, day to day, if you had $100 million in the bank?

b. What would make you most excited to wake up in the morning to another day?

Don’t rush—think about it for a few minutes. If still blocked, fill in the five “doing” spots with the following:

one place to visit
one thing to do before you die (a memory of a lifetime)
one thing to do daily
one thing to do weekly
one thing you’ve always wanted to learn”

3. What does “being” entail doing?

Convert each “being” into a “doing” to make it actionable. Identify an action that would characterize this state of being or a task that would mean you had achieved it. People find it easier to brainstorm “being” first, but this column is just a temporary holding spot for “doing” actions.

Great cook —->make Christmas dinner without help
Fluent in Spanish——> have a five-minute conversation with a Spanish speaking co-worker”

4. What are the four dreams that could change it all….

I’m talking about myself coming here to Thailand.  If it wasn’t for coming here, I wouldn’t be in a remarkably primed position where I’m at today (because the story of teaching here and hardships I’ve overcome).  Pick four dreams that could reshape your life forever.  Period.

5. Target Monthly Income

Read carefully since I actually made it much more complicated in my podcast.  Target Monthly Income is how much you’re going to need to finance your goal (car, plane ticket, train ticket around Europe, etc).   With that being said, take a Hawaiian Airlines RT ticket from Los Angeles for example.

Hawaii Airlines ticket July 3rd, 2017 = 682.10$

I’ve found the ticket for you, although there are other tickets 50$ cheaper but involve you doing multiple stops (makes no sense doing multiple stops when you’re already at LAX).

So, look at your finances.  Another example would be if you make 1500$ USD a month, how much are your monthly expenses and utilities?  How much can you actually save? Ok…lets say you can save a hundred a month.  In 7 months, you have a plane ticket.  Cut back a little bit and you might possibly have a plane ticket in 6 months.

Get the drift?

So, in 6 months…you have money for the plane ticket and hotel per night is probably around 100$ (could pay much cheaper for hostels but wouldn’t recommend it).  In one year, you have the hotel and plane ticket money for that absolute dream trip to the most gorgeous state and America and one of the most beautiful islands on the planet.

No excuses.  Start calculating!

Here’s an example from Tim Ferris’ book which he had written down.

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Podcast:  https://www.spreaker.com/episode/10945267