Dealing with Flakers

Over the course of a week, I’ve had these types of fallouts.

  • Mentors/coaches/authors chastising me on social media about an opinion
  • “Coach” not getting back to my voice message
  • Instagram “single & relationship” coach being a complete asshole
  • A “self-love” coach literally bailing on the day of an IGTV live, then completely pulling out less than a week later
  • Another coach disappearing only to say “I don’t want to do this anymore”
  • A “marketing” IG influencer with 22k followers being a complete douche through message
  • Other IG “coaches” not messaging me back but messaging other used-to-be-companions back

Do you see the trend here? The majority of these people are apparent “coaches,” yet their labels don’t speak. It’s odd to see these “coaches” being assholes, not owning up to their word, being blatantly rude, jumping all over you for stating the obvious, and being total dick-bags in general.

I categorized them….

  • They’re all coaches
  • They’re all from IG
  • All but one are white (not that this matters, but it’s just obvious)
  • All but but are female (even the ones that I tried building the Global Coaches podcast with….were all females except one douche who just never got back to me)
  • All through technology

After doing my meditation this morning, I realized that I was in control of everything. I realized that the majority of my happiness was way out of my control. I also realized that i kept checking social media yesterday, likes, views, and if people had messaged me…..only to be a great disappointment in the end. I then began blaming algorithms and fell into a deeper hole. So, this is good news because I identified the source of all my “sorrows.”

If I could shed some light on the situation, I had two of the best ESL podcasts EVER over the past two weeks (amazing guy from the Bahamas and a Chilean teacher)….both of whom are in the same region and are of color. So, I have the Caribbean and South America who’s working to my advantage in terms of IG.

In saying that, what will I do for the day?

  • Check social media only in the evening
  • No news, no coaches, no connections, no messaging female coaches on IG
  • Stay only in touch with my Line application with potential jobs and a couple of close friends
  • Drop all projects (because the last coach went AWOL yesterday, that’s obviously a sign that it’s not going to work long-term).
  • Communication is absolutely key in having a podcast. I had a joint-podcast with a guy from the UK, but there was no vision and why behind it, nor could we make money from it….but it worked as long as it did. When it comes to women, it could be far more difficult because emotions play a significant role.

The Enlightenment Series: S1 – E1 – Isabel Hundt on Overcoming Limiting Beliefs

As usual, Isabel Hundt never ceases to amaze me. A very hot topic that most of us struggle with was on point today on be.live tv. I was able to rip the audio from it and put it in podcast form, so guys, this is the first time hearing her on my personal development podcast. I had brought her on before on my English language podcast.

Isabel, who’s an author, coach, sociologist, empath warrior, etc….is one of the most brilliant minds I’ve ever met. In this video/podcast she discusses an array of limiting beliefs, triggers, and a few other things to overcome them. If you’re suffering from intolerance and have a bias against a specific gender, creed, color, this is for you.

Here are the show notes.

Get in touch with Isabel Hundt of Germany

Links:

Things we discussed:

  • Introduction given by Isabel Hundt and about her work.
  • Millennials and how they can build a better world.
  • Entitlements and privileges among the younger generations.
  • What are limiting beliefs?
  • What is ‘labelling’? Her experiences growing up in East Germany and about racism.
  • How to overcome self-limiting belief?
  • Subconsciousness of racism and epigenetics.
  • Self-limiting is a form of security.
  • How to develop self-awareness?
  • Emotional awareness.
  • What are the steps to overcoming limiting beliefs?

Podcast

Thank you for listening!

Thank you so much for joining me for this podcast. Please comment and ask questions! Please do share this podcast to your social media.

Links:

  1. Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/thearseniobuckshow/
  2. Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thearseniobuckshow/?hl=en
  3. YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCIzp4EdbJVMhhSnq_0u4ntA
  4. Podcasts: https://www.spreaker.com/user/thearseniobuckshow, https://open.spotify.com/show/7hdzplWx6xB8mhwDJYiP6f, https://www.buzzsprout.com/165390
  5. Website: https://thearseniobuckshow.com/
  6. Twitter: https://twitter.com/arseniobuckshow?lang=en

Interviewee #32 – Wren Margaret Grace on Holistic Living, Vulnerability, & Mental Health

What a wonderful podcast this was — featuring Wren — an author, speaker, and many other things. This is going to hit home for a lot of you and there’s a very strong message in it that needs to be told.

Wren Margaret Grace, mom of 5, life coach, writer, speaker on topics such as simplifying consistent holistic growth to provide better resources for mental and emotional health, and community support for families.

Get in touch with Wren Margaret Grace

Things we discussed:

What is holistic, mental and emotional health?

How did it all start?

What is vulnerability? How does an individual manage ‘vulnerability’?

External toxicity and self-victimisation.

Resentment, pain, and self-support without your parental support.

How to get out of depression.

Engagement and it’s importance.

Reprogramming your mind.

How to stabilise self-development, career, mental health and relationships.

Her three pieces of advice for all listeners.

Thank you for listening!

Links:

  1. Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/thearseniobuckshow/
  2. Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thearseniobuckshow/?hl=en
  3. YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCIzp4EdbJVMhhSnq_0u4ntA
  4. Podcasts: https://www.spreaker.com/user/thearseniobuckshow, https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/the-arsenio-buck-show/id1181794790?mt=2, https://open.spotify.com/show/0x39CEN5tHvfRtfZaAMTgQ?si=8cpdu1rTTjKHogufXh91Cw
  5. Website: https://thearseniobuckshow.com/
  6. Twitter: https://twitter.com/arseniobuckshow?lang=en

Additional Podcast: Motivational Mentors

Yes, the picture of me is pretty bad, but bear with me until I get a new one (LOL).

Many of my podcast listeners have been listening to me on two different platforms.  When I wasn’t creating podcasts on my personal development podcast, they went to my ESL podcast.  So, I think it’s really exciting to tell you guys that there is a 3rd and joint podcast I’m doing with another mentor called Motivational Mentors. 

This particular podcast was thought of by one of my ex-interviewees that I had on back in March.  We flirted with some ideas in April, but nothing was concrete.  On July 3rd, we officially launched the first podcast.  We didn’t have much direction in the beginning, but we kicked it off by doing a Q & A.  So, the first couple of podcasts were by people who wanted to have questions answered by us.  Mild success, but then I thought about bringing on other entrepreneurs and whatnot and that’s when it exploded.

Luke Burrows, who has a great contact list, began asking people all over the world about coming on for episodes.  We set up an official date and on every Sunday, we brought someone on the show to chat it up with us.  So many interviewees later, our podcast plays have spiked significantly (especially compared to my personal development podcast) and we have booked out time slots for the next several months into the new year.

The best part about this is that NO ONE IS DOING THIS.  There aren’t mentors flexing their personal development muscles because it’s a bit risky to do so.  With the amount of experience and me putting in serious work with the things I’ve read, and with Luke teaching his clients and the amount of knowledge he has; this not only creates brand awareness, but it shows that we do know what we’re talking about.

I remember talking about some people recently on my podcast about being afraid of getting exposed — like dog trainers.  If you’re a dog trainer and you don’t have a podcast, videos, 1-minute videos on Instagram or no online presence, you don’t exist.  Moreover, people can call you out rather quickly because they don’t know if you’re real.

This is the important part of business, people.  You need to show the world that you’re competent in the area you’re talking about, because if you don’t, you have no leverage.  It’s about creating those relationships and collaborating with as many people as possible.  So with Motivational Mentors  and my ESL podcast excelling quickly, you can’t only imagine what’s about to happen in 2019!

Podcast

Wheel of Life: October 2018 Edition – Closing Out The Year

Another month, another close.  Yes, it’s been a year with far more ups than downs, but the closing is coming to an end.

How will you leave your mark?

For those of you tuning in for the first time, this is a podcast that’s for people who are willing to identify what areas of life are their strengths and which ones they’ve been neglecting.  Here are the categories.

  • Personal development
  • Physical environment
  • Romantic relationships
  • Health
  • Wealth
  • Career
  • Fun & Hobbies
  • Family & Friends

Rate yourself from 1-10 in each category and be brutally honest about yourself.  Once you understand what areas are suffering, now you’re consciously aware and can make a change.  Here are not only my categories, but what I need to improve in.

Improvement Stages Launch

Normally I’ve talked about my main scores followed by explanation, but I want to see where I can improve.  It’s not about becoming a perfectionist, but improving.

Physical Environment – *3

So, in terms of my physical environment, I believe that it can increase significantly.  First and foremost, my separate projects outside my main place of work are great.  A turning point happened at my job where someone “bitched” at me over something that isn’t even worth repeating (ok, it was about writing on a back of a sheet of paper), but it made me realize “maybe this place doesn’t deserve a teacher like me?”  When she did this, I scratched my head and said, “I’m not going to get my visa until early next year…and that’s if I’m still here.”

That’s called a yellow flag, folks.  Never fully commit when you have nastiness happening.

I’m now cancelling a lot of my availability with the job — because I CAN.  I’m also focusing on my main projects, but that and a couple of blackouts at my condo has hampered the everlasting 10 you would see on a continuous basis.

Physical Environment – *2

I could’ve increased my personal development by a large margin if I just know how to end my day.

I’ve been scuffling and trying to figure out an evening routine that’s suitable for m Because I finish work so ridiculously late, it’s very hard for me to end my day effectively (no excuses.  It all deals with my phone.  If I’m able to listen to affirmations or listen to my “calm” application, which has some nice story-telling to put me in a good state of mind, I win.  However, I haven’t been able to do that.

So, there are several things that I will implement. Tune into my podcast down below for that!

Career – *1.5

Honestly, I’m on the right track.  The comments, the love, the support, the things I’m attracting…but my actions are still not showing that I’m hungry for my ebook and webinar launch.

Wealth – *5

This was the category that made me upset.  I should be making a solid figure per month at my day job, but I’m not — STILL.  So, what can I do to buck the trend? In the podcast!

Because I don’t want to make this long extra long, I decided put everything into my podcast down below to here how I’m able to cope with things that aren’t working.

Podcast

Interviewee #17 – AJ’s Fitness Journey & Entrepreneurship

First time I met this man, I was in awe.  The size of him was unlike anything I had ever seen in my life.  If I can compare him to Evander Holyfield, one of America’s famous boxers, he’s a bit close.  Nonetheless, after chatting it up with him and hearing/seeing his charisma + his story, I decided to bring him on the show.

AJ is an NSCA Certified Personal Trainer and Strength and Conditioning coach.

​AJ’s athletic background and his ongoing curiosity to the latest nutrition and exercise research fuels his passion to assist and educate individuals in fulfilling any fitness and wellness goals. AJ strongly believes in taking a multi-dimensional approach towards optimal health and works with his clients to find ways to incorporate it in their lifestyles.

Get in touch with AJ of Bangkok, Thailand

– About fitness training, personal training and coaching.

Links:

 

Things we discussed:

  • Introduction about himself.
  • How long has AJ been in Bangkok.
  • How he started his work for the Lab and how long he’s been working for the Lab?
  • Discussing about the beginning of his fitness journey.
  • How he ended up in ESPN as a boxer.
  • How he ended up in the national championship.
  • Decision to become a personal trainer in boxing.
  • When the last time he fought in a boxing match.
  • How he ended up in other fields like engineering, teaching Mathematics, being  an online teacher, and digital nomading by travelling to Europe, India and Asia?
  • Your advice on about being a digital nomad or location – independent entrepreneurs.
  • Advise to people about being digital nomads or location – independent.
  • You need to be dedication in your work or side hustling by investing yourself.
  • Find something that is helping you and others. Think big and dare to dream.
  • Why the interviewee ended up in Thailand.
  • Applying teaching jobs from Thailand, South Korea and China.
  • When did you decide to become a fitness trainer?
  • How he branded himself as a fitness trainer?
  • Why the most fit is considered unhealthy?
  • How do you approach your fitness and your health?
  • Talking about mindfulness and personal development.
  • Talking about diets.
  • Be attentive to what and how you are doing with your body and your fitness.
  • Make the wholesome food as your priority in your health and diet.
  • You need to have quality diets between farm raised meat and plant based.
  • Your opinions on about keto-diet from a personal trainer.
  • Do your research about certain diets and lifestyles before you make a decision on which to follow.
  • Marketing about AJ’s personal branding.
  • Balance all in mindfulness, relationships, health and personal development, that’s what it’s all about being healthy.
  • What is the interviewee’s inspiration?
  • What is the interviewee’s outlook from 2 years from now?
  • What is the most difficult workout?
  • What is the number one condition for fat burning?

 

Thank you for listening!

 

Thank you so much for joining me for this podcast. Please do write down some feedbacks and comments. Please do share this podcast to your social media.

 

Links:

How To Use Affirmations

Tony Robbins said the late Jim Rohn told him, “you have very poor psychology.  Makes some statements about the life you want to live.  Restate it over and over and over again.”

There was a homeless man asking Tony for some change one evening and all he asked for was 25 cents.  Tony then pulled out a wad of cash with a lot of 100$ bills on top of it….the man looked at the money, the quarter, and then Tony.  He took the quarter and told Tony, “you’re weird!”

You get in life what you ask for.  Sure, entrepreneurs will talk about “hustle, hustle, hustle….affirmations and meditations mean nothing,” but I can go so far to tell you that many of the entrepreneurs out there lack empathy and have rotten personalities.  They’re in fight-or-flight mode 24/7 and they always think the “worse case” scenarios.  Everyone has bluerprints; whether they’re social, geographical, financial, etc.  To get over that negative conditioning, I don’t care how much you hustle, you’re going to have to reprogram your mind.

How to use your affirmations.

  1. Repeat your affirmations at least three times a day.  The best times are the first thing in the morning, the middle of the day, and around bedtime.
  2. Work in depth with a few affirmations.  This is much more effective than working less frequently with a greater number of them.
  3. Say your affirmations out loud, if possible.  If not, read them silently to yourself.
  4. Close your eyes and visualize yourself as the affirmation describes.  See the scene through your eyes, as if it were happening around you, just the way you would be seeing it in real life.
  5. Hear the sounds; see the images that would be present when you successfully achieve what your affirmation describes.  Include any other people who would be there, and hear their words of encouragement and congratulations.
  6. Feel the emotions that you would experience when you achieve this goal.  The stronger your feelings are, the more powerful the impact.

My most powerful affirmation…..

I’m more handsome than ever!

The drop back of this story has to be the fact that I would constantly say, “Thai women hate black men!” So what ended up happening? I attracted to me the most disgusting specimen imaginable three years ago.  So, how could I reverse the negative self-talk? By using reaffirming positive self-talk.

Pick a solid three affirmations.  I’m talking about affirmations that negative the most common negative self-talk phrases you spew everyday.  Example, I asked my students what happened during there tenure while learning English and they constantly said, “I’m stupid” — although they go to the best university in Thailand? That’s absurd. It’s ridiculous.  You can’t be STUPID in learning a language, so instead say “I’m brilliant with learning English as I learn 30 minutes in both the morning and evening.”

I’m fat, I’m stupid, I’m black, I’m not handsome enough, I’m not beautiful enough, I’m not tall enough, I’m not smart enough, I’m not experienced enough.  Enough with the bullshit opinions of others.  Reprogram your mind NOW!

Teemaree Interview on Affirmations 

How To Make Affirmations

Improve Your Sleeping

Electronic media is not your friend when it comes to getting a good night’s sleep, especially if it’s used in the hours close to bedtime. This is partly due to the physiological effects of the “blue light” of the screen, which impacts the brain’s production of melatonin, delaying the onset of sleep. In one study, for example, people reading on an e-reader at night, compared to those reading a print book, experienced delayed melatonin release, took longer to fall asleep, and felt less rested the next day.

In addition, we have probably all experienced the “quick check” of our phones or computers that inadvertently leads to many unplanned minutes (or hours) of use. When this happens at night, we lose sleep. It’s also increasingly common for people to sleep with their phones nearby, which means that calls and texts can awaken them. Add to all this the likelihood that the emotional tone of media engagement will be stimulating or stressful (work emails, news reports, social comparison on Facebook…), and you have a perfect recipe for sleep disruption.

“Breaking away from media allowed me to be more empathetic to not only my own struggles but to others’ as well”

―A student on a media detox

For all these reasons, many experts are suggesting that we avoid screens in the hours leading up to bedtime as a matter of basic self-care. Sleep is one of the single most important foundations of physical and mental health. The impact on sleep alone would be more than enough reason to undertake a media fast. But there is more.

Source: https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/five_reasons_to_take_a_break_from_screens

Podcast

How To Crowd Worry Out of Your Mind – Part II

I talked about this in a podcast a long time ago, but I want to speak how I use this particular technique in a real-life situation.

Long ago, there was a man that lost two children under the age of find.  Him being in a vice/guillotine that seemed to get tighter and tighter, he found himself in a decision whereas he was going to either turn down his boy, who hadn’t died and needed his support, or play with him and create something out of some toys.

So, he decided to play with him.  He didn’t want to be bothered at the time because he was emotionally distraught, as one would be.  However, in those three hours that he played with his boy, there was a sudden mental relaxation that came over him.  How? He crowded his mind by being busy.

So over the past couple days, you guys probably didn’t know, but I’ve been a rut of worry.  If you’ve ever seen a person with rolled-over shoulders, walking with their head down…that’d be me.  I’ve been very disconcert over the past few weeks because of not knowing my future in finding new work.  Last night I hit a new low in teaching one of my students.  I remember looking at the worst-case-scenario “opportunity” go away right before my eyes.  I then said, “oh, man! No friends; no family; no options…..Arsenio, what’s next?”  I kept scanning job boards and none of them were showing anything, although I was applying for virtually all of them out of pure desperation.  So, I decided to apply for this particular job and I was a bit amazed at the response time – 5 minutes.  That’s right, I applied with a student sitting in front of me and almost in an instant, the response came back — in voice form.  I answered, remained composed (even though I wanted to jump out of my skin), was told a story (the opening up of a human being to another human being) and landed an interview, which will prove to be a monumental success.

In an instant, that worry was gone.  Not because of a call, but also because the comments of one of the parents.  He said, “there are plenty of jobs in Bangkok.  Just be patient.”

I was more worried about my personal wants than giving.  This is why so much of humanity fail.

In the following morning (this morning), I was listening to Tony Robbins say, “if you’re unhappy with your workplace, change it.  If you say there aren’t any jobs out there, that’s bull.”

This is something I always tell myself because of victimization.  I know damn well there are jobs out there, but the fact is I keep telling myself there aren’t because of everything that has happened in my life here.

With an interview looming large and opportunities and views coming in from all cylinders, I must keep myself busy.  Sometimes and especially at home, I get caught up in my own thoughts about “money.”  On the other hand, I just checked my bank account for the first time in forever and realized, “omg, wtfffffff am I even worried about?”

The future.

But the future is uncertain for everyone.  Everything can be taken away at the blink of an eye.

Your job today is to keep yourself busy.  Not with survival busyness, but constantly creating and deploying patience.  You will prevail.

Podcast