Dealing with Flakers

Over the course of a week, I’ve had these types of fallouts.

  • Mentors/coaches/authors chastising me on social media about an opinion
  • “Coach” not getting back to my voice message
  • Instagram “single & relationship” coach being a complete asshole
  • A “self-love” coach literally bailing on the day of an IGTV live, then completely pulling out less than a week later
  • Another coach disappearing only to say “I don’t want to do this anymore”
  • A “marketing” IG influencer with 22k followers being a complete douche through message
  • Other IG “coaches” not messaging me back but messaging other used-to-be-companions back

Do you see the trend here? The majority of these people are apparent “coaches,” yet their labels don’t speak. It’s odd to see these “coaches” being assholes, not owning up to their word, being blatantly rude, jumping all over you for stating the obvious, and being total dick-bags in general.

I categorized them….

  • They’re all coaches
  • They’re all from IG
  • All but one are white (not that this matters, but it’s just obvious)
  • All but but are female (even the ones that I tried building the Global Coaches podcast with….were all females except one douche who just never got back to me)
  • All through technology

After doing my meditation this morning, I realized that I was in control of everything. I realized that the majority of my happiness was way out of my control. I also realized that i kept checking social media yesterday, likes, views, and if people had messaged me…..only to be a great disappointment in the end. I then began blaming algorithms and fell into a deeper hole. So, this is good news because I identified the source of all my “sorrows.”

If I could shed some light on the situation, I had two of the best ESL podcasts EVER over the past two weeks (amazing guy from the Bahamas and a Chilean teacher)….both of whom are in the same region and are of color. So, I have the Caribbean and South America who’s working to my advantage in terms of IG.

In saying that, what will I do for the day?

  • Check social media only in the evening
  • No news, no coaches, no connections, no messaging female coaches on IG
  • Stay only in touch with my Line application with potential jobs and a couple of close friends
  • Drop all projects (because the last coach went AWOL yesterday, that’s obviously a sign that it’s not going to work long-term).
  • Communication is absolutely key in having a podcast. I had a joint-podcast with a guy from the UK, but there was no vision and why behind it, nor could we make money from it….but it worked as long as it did. When it comes to women, it could be far more difficult because emotions play a significant role.

Stephen Covey: The 7 Low-Trust Organizational Taxes – Politics & Disengagement

In an organization, “politics” is defined as the use of tactics and strategy to gain power. Office politics divide a culture against itself by creating conflict with what author Lawrence MacGregor Serven calls the “enemy within” instead of the enemy without.

Office politics generate behaviors such as withholding information, infighting, trying to “read the tea leaves,” operating with hidden agendas, behaviors result in all kinds of wasted time, talent, energy, and money. In addition, they poison company cultures, derail strategies, and sabotage initiatives, relationships, and careers. The indirect costs related to office politics are estimated at 100 billion per year; some observers put them substantially higher.

Stephen Covey

Remember the story I had told you guys about a colleague by the name of Hubert? Yeah, met him for the first time, worked alongside him, and then I was bit by him, the venomous snake. Why would I call him a snake? Simply because he was the one who stopped taking a taxi with me to a company (lightyears away) so he can cut costs for himself. This was infuriating beyond belief, and I told my boss about his insidious agenda and to never allow him to come inside “this” language center. Of course, I was ignored, he came in and wreaked havoc for several months, creating division and gossip around the office. He finally had quit after trying to get me fired because I had podcasts that called out teachers that “fit the profile,” but this type of malice should’ve never stepped foot inside. Give a man one foot, he’ll soon push the door open and let himself in.

Disengagement

Disengagement is what happens when people continue to work at a company, but have effectively quit (commonly referred to as “quit and stay”). They put in what effort they must to get their paycheck and not get fired, but they’re not giving their talent, creativity, energy, or passion. Their bodies are there, but not their hearts or their minds. There are many reasons for disengagement, but one of the biggest reasons is that people simply don’t feel trusted.

Following the end of my teaching career at a particular place that I had been working at for 3.5 years, I lost my energy, passion, and everything for the job. I would say things to my students that would get me in trouble in the long term. I would shrug my shoulders and not do the mundane tasks. It’s almost as if I put a bullseye on my back everyday and wanted them to take me out, and they did. I had been disengaged from teaching at that place for months (since the dawn of the New Years) and I shouldn’t have stayed past 2016 (always leave when you’re at the peak — which sounds crazy). However, I did….and when one of our best salespeople left, along with a forcible firing of a great head teacher, cancer began spreading rapidly throughout the office and forced the best teachers out….to the most amazing journeys of life.

Podcast

Arsenio’s ESL Podcast: Season 3 – Episode 39 – Pronunciation – Intonation in Conditional Sentences

First and foremost, I now have the first of five phases (pronunciation course) available on UDEMY. If you’re adamant with improving your enunciation in the work space, traveling, in the classroom, community, online with friends, etc….hit the link down below.

UDEMY Pronunciation Course

Welcome back to another episode, everyone! Today we’re going to get a listen sophisticated on this beautiful eve before Christmas. I’m going to up-the-ante and teach you something difficult. This will be a relatively short podcast, but understand how intonations in conditional sentences work.

When you begin a conditional sentence with an if clause, each clause has its own intonation pattern. The intonation falls at the end of each clause.

If there’s an underwater earthquake, you’ll probably have a tsunami.

When the main clause begins a conditional sentence, the sentence has a single intonation pattern. The intonation falls at the end of the sentence.

You’ll probably have a tsunami if there’s an underwater earthquake.

Tactic Practice

  1. I would definitely want to see Kilauea Volcano if I visited Hawaii.
  2. You’ll be familiar with earthquake safety if you live in a country like Japan.
  3. If you ever feel an earthquake, you’ll also probably feel smaller aftershocks later.
  4. If I had time to take another class, I’d study geology.

Podcast

Interviewee #024 – Lewis Raymond Taylor On Overcoming Himself

What an unbelievable story this was.  Lewis started off as a child who needed attention, like all children do, but after screamed at and neglected by his family, the fall of him began.  From drugs, alcoholism, run ins with the authority and even prison time, he changed his mind through a series of moments.  After putting himself back in prison the second time, the change happened.  Tune into the podcast!

Get in touch with Lewis Raymond Taylor

 

Links:

 

Things we discussed:

  • Introduction by the host with his guest.
  • Unhappy childhood and emotional abuse from his father.
  • The attention seeking disease.
  • Becoming a sexual abuse victim.
  • Wrong people, subconscious, prison.
  • Emotional needs.
  • Rejection, anger and rejection.
  • Being diagnosed with split personality disorder, bipolar disorder and other mental issues.
  • Attempted suicide and a near-death experience.
  • Nearly killing a man because the man’s aggression reflected his fathers.
  • The beginning of the change.
  • What the strategies were.
  • Mentorship in prison.
  • The beginning of being a business coach.
  • Being not responsible, but accountable.
  • 7 steps to make a change.

Listen to “Interviewee #024 – Lewis Raymond Taylor On Overcoming Himself” on Spreaker.

 

Thank you for listening!

 

If you found this useful, I would love for you to share the podcast on social media!

 

Links:

 

 

Arsenio’s ESL Podcast: Special – IELTS Coaching: Episode 005 – Lexical Recourse & Correcting

Guys, welcome back to another IELTS Coaching podcast and Facebook live.  Last week was a success in terms of doing the joint podcast/live, so I decided to go through with it again this week.  Let’s dive into the good stuff!

Improving your Lexical Resource score

This is a criteria that you will be graded on.  You will score well only if you use a wide range of vocabulary and don’t limit yourself to basic words and phrases.  During the speaking test, try not to use the same words and use synonyms.  I’ve also told my students to use idiomatic expressions if you can.

A student recently asked me, “is it good to use idioms?” YES! The examiner doesn’t care about formality. That’s not “natural” English.

Here are some expressions.

  • Actions speak louder than words.
  • You can’t judge a book by its cover.
  • The best of both worlds.
  • My teacher was a bit of a slave driver.

Checking, correcting and assessing.

  1. Dealing with problems.
  2. Pronunciation and intonation
  3. Running words together (chunking, which I’ll have in my Advanced lesson next year)
  4. Assessing your level.

Always listen carefully to the examiner’s questions to make sure that you answer them fully and appropriately.  Also, some teachers say “don’t ask them to repeat the question,” because then you’ll lose marks, but I don’t think this is entirely true because other examiners who I’ve worked for have said the exact opposite.

Useful phrases for dealing with mistakes or problems in the test.

  • Sorry, I meant to say
  • I’ve never really thought about that before.

Fourth Criterion: Pronunciation

  • Pronouncing individual sounds clearly.
  • Using intonation and stress to help communicate your ideas.
  • ‘Chunking’ (running your words together naturally and clearly, not in a robotic way).

A great way to practice intonation and fluency is simply by copying NES speakers.  Again, I tell my students not to sound like them, but more just to mimic them.  Listen to some recordings or even my podcasts and you’ll understand.

Here are some random examiners comments on the four criteria.

  • Slow speech and frequent hesitation.
  • Discourse markers (well, so, it depends, actually, I think so)
  • Good vocabulary (architectural design, last two decades, cooperative and tolerant).
  • Limited flexibility is demonstrated by lack of range, repetition of certain items.
  • SLow speech interferes with chunking and rhythm and she has a problem with ‘th.’

YouTube

 

 

Coaching Session: Episode 004 – Toxic Family & Not Sure What To Do?

You know, I’ve talked about this on a number of occasions. How to veer and steer clear of negative human beings, even if they’re your family.  This is one of the toughest decisions any human being can make.  Did I think I would ever have to make a decision like this? Not in a million of years.  However, after an almost-fight with my brother in the living room of my home back in 2007 about the “Law of Attraction,” I realized that there was no way I can talk about these types of things with him anymore.  On one occasion, my mother asked if something was true and I said, “how do you think I got to Australia?”

No pun intended, but if I had consulted my family before my trip, I wouldn’t have gone to Australia to begin with.  My brother said angrily, “what the hell you going to Australia for?”

In brief, when I came back from actually LIVING in Australia, my older sister’s face had localized swelling. My mother was complaining about work mates, and my brother had three balls in his back, resulting in surgery.  My family was in a dark abyss and I couldn’t be rescue 911 this time.  I told myself, “it’s either my life, or I will fall into misery for the rest of my life.” That was the action.

I threw my bose headphones over my ears and cancelled out the noise, which brings me to number 1.

Make Positivity In Your Head Loud

It’s easier said than done, and people are often held back on life because memories that they are attached to — memories that are bad and continue recreating a life in the future — also known as having a predictable future.  How can you make it loud? Throw your headphones on, don’t take things seriously and read/listen to Dale Carnegie’s How to Stop Worrying and Start Living. 

If you actually look at your life from your outerself, you will realize that life isn’t too bad.  That’s number one.  Number two, unless someone is physically abusing you, you are in control of how you react to situations.  You’re either positive or negative; reactive or proactive; on offense or defense.  Leading up to my departure (to come here to Thailand), my family and I were LIGHT YEARS apart.  I would stay away from them as much as possible because I would feel the jealousy, animosity, hate, bigotry, you name it.  It was a tenacious force that I couldn’t overcome, but I made a promise to myself that when I leave this native Las Vegas today, I will NEVER return to see them.

On the day of leaving, my mother cried.  I thought they were fabricated because she sure as hell didn’t show any of that the entire year I was there.  When I first went to university, my mother cried from her heart at the airport with my uncle.  When I left this time, it felt as if she was forced to cry to show her feelings.  Everything I experienced over the year, especially with the amount of anger coming out of my brother, had to be banished forever — and so it was.

Are They Helping You, or Killing You?

Simple question.  Are you growing or dying? If you were to stay around them any longer, would the situations escalate even more? What kind of small steps can you take? Yes, you can try having a heart talk, but if has been perpetuated for years, the conditioning is imbedded into the DNA…..they believe.

Don’t Jump In, Ease In

When I had the ordeal happen with my family, it was a long period of time.  It wasn’t just a huge BANG and everything ended. That could be very daunting for a lot, emotional, and neither party wins.  If you just ease out of the toxicity on a nightly basis and talk to friends who encourage you to become better, this can go a long way.

Listen to “Coaching Session: Episode 004 – Toxic Family & Not Sure What To Do?” on Spreaker.

Coaching Session 003: Being Creative

So, I was asked this fascinating question just recently by one of my content writers.  She asked me how to be creative and how we can continue being creative.  Well, we’re living in a world that’s changing literally every year, month, week, day.  The YouTube’s and Apple’s of the world can ultimately fall apart just as Toys R Us and other massive chains in different countries plummeted.  Well, if we take a look at my ESL podcast and how I’ve been teaching in Thailand, this is probably the only way I can relate to this post.

The Initiation

When I first moved to Thailand, I was making a sloppy $600 USD a month.  Now, the teacher told me I would get paid $66 dollars less because I was black, too.  What was I doing at this school? Teaching younger kids — which required a lot of creativity.  That’s basically it. For five months I didn’t have any personal development and didn’t try learning useful skills that will make me a hot commodity.

Second Job

I moved up to $1000 dollars a month, which is an 80% increase, teaching technical college students.  Did I learn anything while I was there? Absolutely not…but with 5 months experience, this gave me a significant pay raise that I never thought I would get.

The Reality

When I finally moved outside of Bangkok, not only did I make 2k USD a month, but I first taught TOEIC (a test preparation course to enable the student to apply for higher paying jobs based on their English language literacy).  I learned to teach 4-skills (reading, writing, speaking, listening), academic writing, IELTS, business English and other facets.  When they saw I was an excellent speaker, they wanted me to create a new course that catered to conversation, which was a success beyond a success.  I got gigs teaching at the top-5 companies within these borders (email writing, business English and other areas), and when this happened, jealousy began growing.

Then I knew I was on the right path. The more I learned, the more I earn.

In 2015, I created a YouTube video that now has over 9k views…..never did I think that would happen.  It wasn’t until earlier this year that I had the idea, “hey, if there are lots of people viewing my videos YouTube, how about I make a podcast and see where it goes? Bingo! From there, my podcast soared over the last couple of months.  I began creating 1-minute videos on Instagram and my Facebook page — resulting in BIG HITS.  I turned that into online coaching, which I do live on the weekends and set up the refreshment course via YouTube.

And Then

A coach for Toyota, who has traveled the world and who I’ve been teaching the past three weeks (TOEFL) spoke to me for twenty minutes at the end of class saying, “you have e-test, e-learning, coaching, and refreshing).  While he was talking to me, I realized that I was unconsciously doing two of them already (coaching and refreshing) and it has been STELLAR since beginning two weeks ago.

The Creative

If I can create an e-test for my students and provide specialized courses in the different sectors of English, this could be the new-age part of learning.  If you haven’t already heard, universities are 1 trillion in debt and now people are realizing that university, is indeed, a scam.  In ten years time, we could be learning in virtual reality.  The language centers here in Thailand and all over the world, which are my competitors, can no longer provide a book and a “teacher” to teach from a book (super easy to do). They’ll have to become more creative.

So, how do I stay relevant? Integration of sophisticated lessons that will capture the imaginations of my students, making them better members of society while focusing on their core genius.  Professors around the world teach what’s only in books, and that will all be gone once AI is implemented and we no longer need to memorize information that’s useless.

Being creative is doing exactly what the big companies, which have failed, didn’t do.  Continue evolving and providing your customers with more things and innovate your technology to make life easier.  Jack Ma says “find a need and fill it.”

If you had known about Buzzsprout in the beginning of the year, you would know how garbage it was.  This platform, which podcasters can use to host, was completely useless compared to SoundCloud (a now “pay for plays” platform).  I didn’t know the metrics, who was listening, the last x amount of plays, or ANYTHING.  It was generic as hell compared to sites like Spreaker — a site I can see all the sources on.  However, I’m able to schedule my ESL podcasts now, transcript for little to no money (compared to hosting sites which charge 10x more), and I can put chapter markers in my podcast — a feature that has been invented on any other platform.

Buzzsprout knows in order for it to stay afloat, it has to continue evolving. The moment it began to grow complacent (at the beginning of the year), that was beginning of its downfall.

Always continue making life easier for your customers. Period.

Podcast

 

Coaching Session 002: The Follow-up With My Colleague — Changes Are Happening!

So, if you guys haven’t already read the blog or heard the podcast about my colleague who is/was depressed, I suggest you do that, first.

Now, just recently I had my colleague make some significant changes in her life.  I had her write down the list of everything she likes to do, passions, what are her strengths, and other things.  I’ve struck gold with it.

Over the next week, she seemed a lot happier.  She paid $500 bucks for dance lessons, and this was awesome because she’s always dancing at work.  She committed to fitness by making videos on Instagram, showing herself doing squats and other exercises.

Shortly following that, she sent me her list in regards to the positive things about her and this is what she wrote.

  1. What are my natural gifts? Making people laugh.
  2. What are my skills? Organizing and acting.
  3. What do I enjoy? Dancing, singing, taking photos.
  4. When do I feel most alive? When I’m with friends.
  5. What am I passionate about? (still undecided)
  6. What brings the greatest joy in my life? Good work, taking care of my mom, good family (all conditionals though — nothing in the present)
  7. When do I feel best about myself? Helping others.

 

Strengths

Listening

Challenges

Commitment

 

Now, her natural gifts, skills and enjoyment interlink with each other, but there are still some areas that she’s not exactly sure about and that we need to tap into.  Also, living in a country like Thailand, most people aren’t good at giving positive reinforcement and feedback with peers.  In the spot where it says “what have people always said I’m really good at,” there wasn’t anything.  This isn’t an issue, but culturally speaking, this isn’t good.

Nonetheless, she did message me and tell me that she feels much better and she claims that it’s fromt he medication at the psychiatrist.  However, that’s actually the problem. With Fish Oil, Vitamin D tablets and 20 minutes of exercise a day, she can wick away those “depressive thoughts.”

That’s the next big step in my coaching with her.

Podcast

New Book Series: Stephen Covey’s ‘The Speed of Trust’

After contemplating for a while, I decided to go back to personal development while doing Crypto.  I will switch Crypto to two days a week (Tuesday & Thursday) and back to one of my favorite authors EVER — Stephen Covey.  Because my blogs featuring Stephen Covey’s work have gotten so many views over the past year, I decided to go back to his work because I believe it has struck a nerve of a lot of people out there.  So, here’s an overview and a foreword about what I’ll be covering.

  • The one thing that changes everything.
  • How trust affects the trajectory and outcome of our lives — both personally and professionally — and what we can do to change it.
  • Nothing is as Fast as the Speed of Trust.
  • You Can Do Something About This!
  • Cores of Credibility
  • The Principle of Behavior
  • Talk Straight
  • Demonstrate Respect
  • Create Transparency
  • Right Wrongs
  • Show Loyalty
  • Deliver Results
  • Get Better
  • Confront Reality
  • Clarify Expectations
  • Practice Accountability
  • Listen First
  • Keep Commitments
  • Extend Trust
  • Organizational Trust
  • Market Trust
  • Societal Trust
  • Inspiring Trust

Foreword

“I’ll never forget an experience I had several years ago when I worked for a short stint with a major investment banking firm in New York City.  We had just come out of a very exhausting meeting, during which it had become evident that there were some serious internal trust issues.  These issues were slowing things down and negatively affecting execution.  The senior leader said to me privately, “These meetings are dysfunctional and a waste of time.  I don’t trust her, him, etc.

Stephen Covey said, “why? Why don’t you work hard on increasing trust?”

He replied seriously, “look, Stephen, you need to understand either you can trust or you can’t. We don’t have it, and there’s nothing we can do about it.”

I strongly disagree.  In fact, both my personal life and my work as a business practitioner over the past 20 years have convinced me that there is a lot we can do about it.  We can increase trust — much faster than we think — and doing so will have a huge impact, both in the quality of our lives and in the results we’re able to achieve.

 Listen to “New Book Series: Stephen Covey’s ‘The Speed of Trust’” on Spreaker.

Coaching Session #001: Figuring Out Where Your Depression is Coming From

It was a coaching session like no other; in fact it was with a significant language barrier in between the both of us.

I first received a message from one of the girls that works at a place I’m part-timing at. She said she wanted to talk to me about something serious, so I immediately thought  something went bad — AGAIN — at work in regards to a student.

However, that wasn’t the case.  Previously i had coached one of my colleagues to snap out of her depression, and it worked.  So, the second staff member approached me and it was time to be the coach.

I made her do the “Wheel of Life” podcast and she became aware of what was going on in her life.  On a scale 1-10, and rating 8 categories, her highest mark was seven, which didn’t make any sense.  So her outer feelings and what is going on in her life is very apparent.  Here’s what she had.

Health – 5 – low blood pressure, dizzy, tired quickly

Wealth – 3 – no car, home, business, can’t take care of mother,

Career – 1 – absent-minded, indecision

Personal Development – 0 – cannot create happiness

Physical Environment – 3 – high competition, selfishness

Fun & Hobbies – 0 – no time or money

Family & Friends 7 – friends are there but not all

Physical Environment – 4

Romantic Relationships – 4 – lots of negative feelings towards love (6 entries)

So, here is what she wrote down (via google translate), and as you scan see, it focuses primarily on what she doesn’t have.  There’s conditioning happening here, which is not unusual, but she’s holding onto a lot of past things that aren’t suitable anymore.

Health revolves around her personal development.  Tired quickly, gets dizzy, etc….there could be a massive deficiency on so many levels in terms of vitamins, nutrients, minerals — but remember — it’s not what you see on the surface.  It’s much deeper than that.

Wealth is a fixed mindset.  She focuses on things she doesn’t have that I don’t have.  I don’t have a car or own a home, either.  It all depends on preferences, and because she believes success relates to materialistic things, she thinks she’s a failure for not having these things.

Physical Environment, in a place where competition is very high and ignorance amongst her colleagues, of course she’s going to hate it.  Little money? Of course! But why do you continue doing something that gives you no ROI? Is she happy doing the job? No way.

What to do?

What are her beliefs? What negative beliefs does she have on the subjects above? She needs to write them down and then write down something outrageously opposite from her belief.  This is when it begins to change.  You have to get rid of all the “have nots and don’t haves” and turn them into positive, reassuring statements because the subconscious doesn’t know what’s right from wrong.  It just takes in everything you feel, and in her case, she feels like complete s***.

Put one good food into her diet a day. There are plenty of mood-boosting foods out there in the world.

Career is a toss-up.  I can’t ask her what she does, but she definitely needs to do the “how to find your life purpose” questionnaire to get somewhat guidance.

Hate your job? Time to change it.  Hate something else? Drop it.  I’m a super advocate for taking out negativity.  My workplace has become an unbearable environment to be in over the last couple of weeks because of petty stuff.  What have I done? Start looking for new work.  That’s the basis.  Is it long-term where you’re working? Ok, you need to pay the bills….keep doing that, but never take ignorant bosses berating you over your sanity.  If that happens, goodbye.  Trust me, you will find something when you stop a herd of negativity from coming into your life.

Listen to “Coaching Session 001: Figuring Out Where Your Depression is Coming From” on Spreaker.