Dealing with Flakers

Over the course of a week, I’ve had these types of fallouts.

  • Mentors/coaches/authors chastising me on social media about an opinion
  • “Coach” not getting back to my voice message
  • Instagram “single & relationship” coach being a complete asshole
  • A “self-love” coach literally bailing on the day of an IGTV live, then completely pulling out less than a week later
  • Another coach disappearing only to say “I don’t want to do this anymore”
  • A “marketing” IG influencer with 22k followers being a complete douche through message
  • Other IG “coaches” not messaging me back but messaging other used-to-be-companions back

Do you see the trend here? The majority of these people are apparent “coaches,” yet their labels don’t speak. It’s odd to see these “coaches” being assholes, not owning up to their word, being blatantly rude, jumping all over you for stating the obvious, and being total dick-bags in general.

I categorized them….

  • They’re all coaches
  • They’re all from IG
  • All but one are white (not that this matters, but it’s just obvious)
  • All but but are female (even the ones that I tried building the Global Coaches podcast with….were all females except one douche who just never got back to me)
  • All through technology

After doing my meditation this morning, I realized that I was in control of everything. I realized that the majority of my happiness was way out of my control. I also realized that i kept checking social media yesterday, likes, views, and if people had messaged me…..only to be a great disappointment in the end. I then began blaming algorithms and fell into a deeper hole. So, this is good news because I identified the source of all my “sorrows.”

If I could shed some light on the situation, I had two of the best ESL podcasts EVER over the past two weeks (amazing guy from the Bahamas and a Chilean teacher)….both of whom are in the same region and are of color. So, I have the Caribbean and South America who’s working to my advantage in terms of IG.

In saying that, what will I do for the day?

  • Check social media only in the evening
  • No news, no coaches, no connections, no messaging female coaches on IG
  • Stay only in touch with my Line application with potential jobs and a couple of close friends
  • Drop all projects (because the last coach went AWOL yesterday, that’s obviously a sign that it’s not going to work long-term).
  • Communication is absolutely key in having a podcast. I had a joint-podcast with a guy from the UK, but there was no vision and why behind it, nor could we make money from it….but it worked as long as it did. When it comes to women, it could be far more difficult because emotions play a significant role.

The Enlightenment Series: S1 – E1 – Isabel Hundt on Overcoming Limiting Beliefs

As usual, Isabel Hundt never ceases to amaze me. A very hot topic that most of us struggle with was on point today on be.live tv. I was able to rip the audio from it and put it in podcast form, so guys, this is the first time hearing her on my personal development podcast. I had brought her on before on my English language podcast.

Isabel, who’s an author, coach, sociologist, empath warrior, etc….is one of the most brilliant minds I’ve ever met. In this video/podcast she discusses an array of limiting beliefs, triggers, and a few other things to overcome them. If you’re suffering from intolerance and have a bias against a specific gender, creed, color, this is for you.

Here are the show notes.

Get in touch with Isabel Hundt of Germany

Links:

Things we discussed:

  • Introduction given by Isabel Hundt and about her work.
  • Millennials and how they can build a better world.
  • Entitlements and privileges among the younger generations.
  • What are limiting beliefs?
  • What is ‘labelling’? Her experiences growing up in East Germany and about racism.
  • How to overcome self-limiting belief?
  • Subconsciousness of racism and epigenetics.
  • Self-limiting is a form of security.
  • How to develop self-awareness?
  • Emotional awareness.
  • What are the steps to overcoming limiting beliefs?

Podcast

Thank you for listening!

Thank you so much for joining me for this podcast. Please comment and ask questions! Please do share this podcast to your social media.

Links:

  1. Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/thearseniobuckshow/
  2. Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thearseniobuckshow/?hl=en
  3. YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCIzp4EdbJVMhhSnq_0u4ntA
  4. Podcasts: https://www.spreaker.com/user/thearseniobuckshow, https://open.spotify.com/show/7hdzplWx6xB8mhwDJYiP6f, https://www.buzzsprout.com/165390
  5. Website: https://thearseniobuckshow.com/
  6. Twitter: https://twitter.com/arseniobuckshow?lang=en

Additional Podcast: Motivational Mentors

Yes, the picture of me is pretty bad, but bear with me until I get a new one (LOL).

Many of my podcast listeners have been listening to me on two different platforms.  When I wasn’t creating podcasts on my personal development podcast, they went to my ESL podcast.  So, I think it’s really exciting to tell you guys that there is a 3rd and joint podcast I’m doing with another mentor called Motivational Mentors. 

This particular podcast was thought of by one of my ex-interviewees that I had on back in March.  We flirted with some ideas in April, but nothing was concrete.  On July 3rd, we officially launched the first podcast.  We didn’t have much direction in the beginning, but we kicked it off by doing a Q & A.  So, the first couple of podcasts were by people who wanted to have questions answered by us.  Mild success, but then I thought about bringing on other entrepreneurs and whatnot and that’s when it exploded.

Luke Burrows, who has a great contact list, began asking people all over the world about coming on for episodes.  We set up an official date and on every Sunday, we brought someone on the show to chat it up with us.  So many interviewees later, our podcast plays have spiked significantly (especially compared to my personal development podcast) and we have booked out time slots for the next several months into the new year.

The best part about this is that NO ONE IS DOING THIS.  There aren’t mentors flexing their personal development muscles because it’s a bit risky to do so.  With the amount of experience and me putting in serious work with the things I’ve read, and with Luke teaching his clients and the amount of knowledge he has; this not only creates brand awareness, but it shows that we do know what we’re talking about.

I remember talking about some people recently on my podcast about being afraid of getting exposed — like dog trainers.  If you’re a dog trainer and you don’t have a podcast, videos, 1-minute videos on Instagram or no online presence, you don’t exist.  Moreover, people can call you out rather quickly because they don’t know if you’re real.

This is the important part of business, people.  You need to show the world that you’re competent in the area you’re talking about, because if you don’t, you have no leverage.  It’s about creating those relationships and collaborating with as many people as possible.  So with Motivational Mentors  and my ESL podcast excelling quickly, you can’t only imagine what’s about to happen in 2019!

Podcast

Motivation Mentors: Episode 004 Featuring Celina Celeste!

Hello, everyone! This is a special project I’ve been working on with another mentor and coach from Shroud, England by the name of Luke Burrows.  The focus of this is since we’re both mentors and coaches, we encourage people to send questions in throughout the week for them to be featured on our show.  On this week’s episode, we brought along another wonderful entrepreneur and podcaster by the name of Celina Celeste.  The links to each of our worlds are down below along with the show notes which were written up by content writer Jiun Ting Yong.  Be sure to tune into the FB page!

 

Things being discussed in this week’s episode…

 

  • Introductions and talking about the power of technology.
  • Talking about which comes first: passion or business ideas.
  • Passion and business are terms in a grey area.
  • Passion and business are two different things that people never realize.
  • Referring to GaryVee’s latest book ‘Crushing it’.
  • Learn to how to play the rules, learn what is their strategy and learn to do personal branding with social media.
  • Read a lot of books and understanding the economy from different regions from a non – entrepreneurial perspective, especially for people who are fresh out of college or universities.
  • Traditional colleges and universities aren’t working anymore and schools were built for workers.
  • Getting a business apprenticeship and learning the craft of being a business ownership as well as being self-educated, is important.
  • Many jobs will be obsolete like white collar and pink colour jobs, doctors (debatable until AI officially comes), nurses and other professional jobs. How the economy will look like in the next 20 years because of cryptocurrency, machine learning, artificial intelligences and blockchain? Currencies have a possibility of being wipe out.
  • Mainstream universities don’t teach life skills and personal development.
  • Being smart in the choices that you make.
  • Skills that are important in the next 20 years like entrepreneurial skills such as creative thinking, emotional intelligence, self-awareness, being resourceful and having entrepreneurial mindsets.
  • Being self-aware on how you fit into this world and being smart about jobs where the future of the specific industries are bleak.
  • Being creative to bring in something that can make people feel good and being true to yourself.
  • Being true to yourself, stop complaining about yourself, stop giving excuses and stop feeling discontent.
  • Reprogramme your subconscious mind.
  • Be responsible for people who are in your life and stop complaining.
  • Don’t forget yourself, being yourself and stop getting caught up externally with what is happening– build yourself up and invest in yourself.
  • Don’t fall into the trap or trap yourself with fake people around you.

Thank you for listening!

 

Thank you so much for joining me for this podcast. Please do write down some feedbacks and comments. Please do share this podcast to your social media.

 

Links:

 

The Arsenio Buck Show

 

 

Luke Burrow

 

 

Motivational Mentors

 

 

Celina Celeste

 

Stephen Covey’s Levels of Communication: Low, Trust, High

Levels of communication.  Yes.  This is extremely important on so many levels.  If you look at the chart I’ve created, you can probably indicate not only what category you fall into, but everyone else you know. Let’s do a breakdown of the three levels.

Lowest Communication

Low-trust situations, period.  If you’re in a relationship where you’re unsure of the other person and what he/she is doing, you’re falling into this trap.  Let me tell you why.  You’re more than likely developing defensiveness, protectiveness, and often legalistic language, as Stephen Covey has said.

To be honest, most people are in this category.  If you eavesdrop on conversations in public, to what’s happening in your friendship circle, to work, to your own family. There’s a lot of chatter and assumptions that happen and we often conjure up ideas of what another person MAY be doing, but it’s because we lack communication. Simple as that.  There’s no trust and it will always be a win/lose, or lose/win situation.

Middle Positioning

This is more of a respectful level.  This is how fairly MATURE people interact (and I emphasize mature because there aren’t that many mature adults whom I’ve worked with the past five years in Thailand — lol). However, these people have respect for each other.  They love avoiding the ugly confrontations, and so they communicate politely but not empathically.

Respectful communication works in independent situations and even in interdependent situations, but the creative possibilities are not opened up.  In interdependent situations compromise is the position usually taken.  The communication isn’t defensive, protective, or angry; it is honest and genuine.

The Third Alternative & An Example

It’s vacation time, and a husband wants to take his family out to the lake country to enjoy camping and fishing.  This is important to him; he’s been planning all year.  He’s made reservations at a cottage on the lake and arranged to rent a boat, and his sons are really excited about going.

His wife, however, wants to use the vacation time to visit her ailing mother some 250 miles away.  She doesn’t have the opportunity to see her very often, and this is important to her.

Their differences could be the cause of a major negative experience.

This could be a sure lose-lose situation.  The father can say, “I’ll have to cancel and lose all this money,” and the wife would say, “I have one mother! Where’s your sympathy!”

“The plans are set.  The boys are excited.  We should go on the fishing trip!” – Father

“But we don’t know how much longer my mother will be around, and I want to be by her,” she replies. “This is our only opportunity to have enough time to do that.”

“All year long we’ve looked forward to this one-week vacation.  The boys would be miserable sitting around grandmother’s house for a week.  They’d drive everybody crazy.  Besides, your mother’s not that sick.  And she has your sister less than a mile away to take care of her.”

“She’s my mother, too.  I want to be with her.” – Mother

“You could phone her every night.  and we’re planning to spend time with her at the Christmas family reunion. Remember?” – Father

“That’s not for five months.  We don’t even know if she’ll still be here by then.  Besides, she needs me, and she wants me.”

“She’s being well taken care of.  Besides, the boys and I need you, too.”

“My mother is more important than fishing.”

“Your husband and sons are more important than your mother.”

See, this can transpire and unfold into a back and forth argument.  Neither party will win and they’ll eventually split up. Boys go with daddy and mom goes with mom.

Both feel guilty and unhappy.  The boys sense it, and it affects their enjoyment on the vacation.

The husband may give in, but he does so grudgingly.

Mother might give in but she’s withdrawn from all activities because her mother’s health is far more important.

Whatever compromise the finally agree on, it could be rehearsed over the years.  Hostility will begin to manifest and the relationship will slowly deteriorate.

Or Maybe!!!……

If they have cultivated the habits of effective interdependence, they approach their differences from an entirely different paradigm.  Their communication is on a higher level.

Because they have a high Emotional Bank Account, they trust and open communication in their marriage.  Because they think win/win, they believe in a third alternative, a solution that is mutually beneficial.  Because they listen empathically and seek first to understand, they create within themselves and between them a comprehensive picture of the values and the concerns that need to be taken into account in making a decision.

High Emotional Bank Account Ingredients In The Podcast

https://www.spreaker.com/user/thearseniobuckshow/stephen-coveys-levels-of-communication-l

Idea of Heroism Has Been Shattered

Athletic ‘stars’ such as Lebron James, Kevin Durant, Stephen Curry & more are considered role models and heroes in a many of communities across America; yet, they rarely sign autographs for fans or give back to fans/communities.

If you look at Cristiano Ronaldo, Messi, and other football players in Europe, they have more than 100 million followers on social media, but what acts of heroism have they displayed? How have they made your life better?  What did they change within your mind? At less you’re an athlete, this doesn’t really relate to anyone.

I stopped taking sports serious when I realized I was losing my voice for people who didn’t even know I existed.

I stopped taking university basketball serious when I realized I didn’t have anything invested into those students or that particular university.

I stopped taking sports seriously in general because I felt a degree of separation.

Seeing those fans front-row of Man U games flipping off players they know nothing about.  Is that really how humanity should be? Is that the divide we need in a world that’s itching so desperately for a leader?

When it comes to heroism, I’m talking about Rosa Parks making a stand for African Americans and what a lot of people believe was the kickoff of the Civil Rights Movement in America.

What about the wondrous Muhammad Ali who did absolutely everything for African Americans spanning decades; in addition, helping free some hostages in the early 90’s.

How about those incredible beings who have scaled Mt. Everest and beat off ‘death zone.’

I feel that the world looks up to the wrong people.  The pop singers who don’t give a hoot about their fans, the actresses who lavish themselves in endless materialism and deny as little as a handshake with fans.  As human beings, we now have changed the way we view role models, and quite honestly it’s pretty sickening.

One of my students here in Thailand said he did a presentation after Muhammad Ali died in class and his Thai teacher said, “why do you like him? He’s black.  He’s ugly.”

However, when Paul Walker died, the entire world mourned, although illegal street racing statistics have gone up insurmountably since the first instalment back in 2001 (https://www.theguardian.com/film/2001/jun/26/news).  That was just shortly after the movie was launched, too.

Heroism comes with bravery, courage, valor, self-sacrifice, fearlessness, boldness.  Pushing the true human potential wheel to the very edge.  What those firefighters did climbing the stairwell of the twin towers on that infamous September morning.

Those are the true heroes.  The one’s who made an unbelievable sacrifice to push humanity, even if it costed their lives.  That also sounds like entrepreneurs.  The ‘real’ legacy being left behind.

That’s heroism.

Jack Canfield – Create A Network Of Mentors And Others Who Will Up-Level You

“Study anyone who’s great, and you’ll find that they apprenticed to a master, or several masters.  Therefore, if you want to achieve greatness, renown, and superlative success, you must apprentice to a master.” – Robert Allen

Success leaves clues.  Why not take advantage of all the wisdom and experience that already exists by finding a mentor who has already done what you want to do? Just ask!

Determine in advance what you want from this mentor.  Les Brown, for instance, would help you see possibilities.  In other words, mentors help you overcome “possibility blindness.”

Maybe you just need someone to open doors for you. Or perhaps you need a referral to a technical expert.  Whatever it may be, these particular individuals/mentors will allow you to see the bread crumbs in life that most of us miss throughout our daily lives.

Do Your Homework

Do your research on the names and backgrounds of people. I’ve given a list of names a number of times for you to look up who you like the most. The people who have been successful in the industry you’re trying to enter.

There’s an excerpt in Jack Canfield’s book that plays the role of a specific individual asking someone for help – ultimately getting help from the mentor and ended up expanding his company exponentially.

Hello, Mr. Johnston, my name is Neil. We haven’t met yet.  And I know you’re a busy man, so I’ll be brief.  I own a small trucking business.  Over the years, you have done a fantastic job building your business into one of the largest companies in our industry.  I’m sure you had some real challenges when you were first starting out.  Well, I’m still in those early stages, trying to figure everything out. Mr. Johnston, I would really appreciate it if you would consider being my mentor.  All that would mean is spending ten minutes on the phone with me once a month, so I could ask you a few questions. I’d really appreciate it.  Would you be open to that?

Not too hard, right?

You also better be prepared to give your mentors something in return.  Even if it’s something simple such as keeping them updated on industry information or calling with new opportunities that might benefit them.

Network Your Way To Success

Generating referrals and increased business – normally the referrals you get from networking are high quality. You can ultimately turn these people into clients over time.

Expanding opportunities – getting together with motivated business owners could lead to a joint venture, partnership, speaking and writing opportunities, business or asset sales, investment opportunities and so much more.

Networking is all about relationships – If you’re attending networking events hoping to sell something, you’re dreaming.  Don’t confuse direct selling with networking.  Effective networking is all about developing relationships. Networking is more about farming, not hurting. Development with other business professionals.  Sometimes you’ll want to go to a networking event just to increase your visibility, establish credibility, etc.