Three Keys To Developing Self-Confidence

I was listening to another Gary Vee podcast and he said some things that I needed to talk about in terms of building up confidence.  Are there easy ways to becoming an effective communicator? I made a podcast on ‘How Come Become A Good Conversationalist’.

In addition to the podcast above and the one that will appear down below, here are some ways that you can break out of that slump that society imbedded in you.

Do The Opposite of What Your Culture Does

Wait, wait, wait, don’t not wear clothes and expect wonders to work in your advantage.  Nothing obscenely outrageous that will get you thrown behind bars.  I’m telling everyone right now to look around.  Be aware of how people stand.  For instance, if you go to Japan or Korea, they all stand the same way and acclimate to their environment.  Why? They’re terrified of how others could be looking at them.  They’re afraid of being on another social media video-gone viral for whatever reason.  Most Thai people, after witnessessing what I have the past four years, walk the same way.  They’re terrified of speaking up, out, and putting someone in their place.

I run down the streets howling Macklemore ‘Can’t Hold Us,’ and sure, people stare at me in terror.  But what could they do? What’s the worse that can happen? Absolutely nothing.  Stop worrying about the pundits around you and stop worrying about what you think they might be thinking about you.  Dance.  Sing a little.  Laugh at a video on the bus.  Talk to a friend.  Be your f***ing self because it’s utterly frustrating seeing the conformity of mankind converting to something they’re not; let alone not doing the things they’ve always wanted to do because of “society.”

Supporting Cast

My best friend Carlos — the story I always talk about — was my coming out party.  This was the kid, who I didn’t like back in middle school, who changed me in the first few months of high school.  I was terrified beyond belief.  I didn’t speak to any of my numerous crushes because I had zero confidence.  Over the course of the school year (the 9th grade being the most pivotal of them all), I had my coming out party.  Oh, and it was life-changing because I somewhat made a council table and put some figures who I admired at the time — at that council table.  I took a piece of everyone, and I still continue to do that today.  If there’s something about me, or someone in my close circle who I don’t like….I know exactly what I have to do.

Number 3 in the podcast!

Tedx – What To Wear

In my personal opinion, what you wear means everything on-stage.  I was referred a Tedx video by one of my colleagues, and although he did crack a few jokes, I couldn’t take his appearance.  He was wearing about 5 different colors, spoke extremely fast, and had one of the most awkward stances I’ve seen on stage.  You just can’t look ridiculous.

On the other hand, there was this video.

Now, this attire is completely understandable because the speaker is apparently still in prison, yet he delivered a speech that resonates so much in the African American community.

Nonetheless, TEDx said there are a few questions worth asking like “who am I speaking to? How’s the audience? Is it on the resort island of Bali or is it in London? That makes a HUGE difference.

Will you be filmed? If so, avoid wearing white or jet black.

Will you be using an over-the-ear microphone?  Avoid earrings that bang into the attachment – ultimately making loud, clanking noises.  Have a clean shave (for men)!

If you’re using accessories, avoid using flashy bracelets that would give off a reflection to those around you and in front of you.

What will the stage look like? Consider wearing something off-colour that sets you apart from the background.  If there’s a red background, choose a color that doesn’t blend in.  The audience loves bold, vibrant colors.

For men’s fashion, be sure your clothes are neatly pressed.  I BEG YOU! If you don’t care about the way your clothes are, I can tell just how disorganized your mind is.  I’ve worked with men before who look downright disgraceful; in addition, those specific individuals have the most personal problems.  True story.

Am I saying wear a suit? Probably not…..if you’re giving a Tedx on an island, but I would definitely consider a vest + slacks combo.  I feel that’s the most comfortable outfit and you can even dress it up or down.  Is a tie essential? In my opinion, no – unless it’s a formal outing.  Again, these little things are very important on top of knowing what type of audience you’re speaking to.

Ray Lewis knew that he would be doing a Tedx at Stanford University; therefore, he wore a gorgeous suit and tie because the majority of the crowd was Gen B.  If you’re going to wear a shirt and baggy jeans in front of Gen B, not only will you lose all respect, but they’re going to label you very fast before even saying your first line.

Just beware!

On Friday the 16th, a business associate and I will be doing an interview in terms of fashion and how it equals success….so stay tuned for that!  Hopefully this helps those out there.