Completing The Past Part II

After going back and completing the past, my conscious was now free. Those three individuals that were not only on my mind but also in the subconscious (dreams), they were no more. This was the most free-ing exercise. One of the individuals had responded with her explanation, but it didn’t even matter because it was ME who needed the closure, and perhaps that had given her some closure, too. The other two? One never responded…and that’s totally fine because I did it without expectation. The other one was actually resolved a couple of weeks prior but “dumb me” thought it could’ve been a life-time relationship but it was just a purposeful relationship. Lol. Tune in!

Questions & Answers With Celina Celeste: Putting In The Work!

Guys, unbelievably happy and grateful for bringing a massive ball of energy back onto my podcast.  Celina, who’s been on my podcast before, makes way on again to talk about putting in the work in what was a very free-flowing podcast.  Enjoy!

Get in touch with Celina Celeste

– Q&A with Celina Celeste about Putting in The Work.

 

Links:

 

Things we discussed:

  • Introduction by Arsenio Buck.
  • Number one problem with ‘work’.
  • Execute and keep working.
  • Feel guilty without doing any work.
  • Our stories on life.
  • Commitment is important.
  • Talking about instant gratification. Putting the work doesn’t guarantee swift success.
  • Building for reasons.
  • The Compound Effect.
  • Nurturing is the key.
  • Don’t worry about anything and have a go.
  • How to start taking steps.
  • Commitment is the key.
  • Build a firm foundation and drive.
  • Make a mindset shift.
  • Learn from failure.
  • Need a system and be consistent.
  • How to do a side hustle?
  • Meditating, studying successful people, executing your plans and goals.
  • Be consistent with your dreams.
  • Clarity is important.
  • Lifestyle is key.
  • A growth mindset can be addicted.
  • Audit your friends.
  • Surround yourself with winners.
  • Positive people who support and compliment you.
  • Being happy doesn’t means being reliant to somebody.
  • Getting extra ahead is important.
  • Sharing about hate and forgiveness.
  • Don’t seek outside for fulfilment because it begins from internally. Learn how to cultivate positively, happiness and momentum internally.

Podcast

 

Thank you for listening!

Thank you so much for listening to this podcast. Please do write down some feedback and comments. Please do share this podcast to your social media.

 

Links:

 

Podcast

Arsenio’s ESL Podcast: Season 2 – Episode 42 – Grammar – Past Perfect Tense

Oh, past perfect is here! Do not fear: Arsenio is here!  Honestly, this is just like the present perfect — it’s just you have an action happening before another action.  Here’s the breakdown for you guys.

Look at the sentences.  Which actions happened first?

  1. John was angry at Tim because he had gotten to the theme park before him.
  2. When Stacy had finished talking, she went home.

Rules: We use the past perfect to talk about an activity in the past that happened before another activity in the past.

So, let’s break this down even more.

  1. I put my pyjamas on.
  2. He finished shopping.
  3. They finished their dinner.
  4. He got out of the pool.
  5. We finished the exam.
  6. I found my keys.
  • They left the restaurant.
  • I got into bed.
  • I opened the door.
  • He carried it home.
  • We gave it to the teacher.
  • He dried himself with a towel.

 

Rewrite the sentences in 3a as one sentence.  Put one verb in the past perfect and the other in the past simple. Use when or after.

  1. When I had put my pyjamas on, I got into bed.
  2. After he had finished shopping, he carried it home.

Now it’s your turn!

Podcast

 

Acknowledge Your Positive Past: Part II – Thank Your Family, Job, & Circumstances

My mother, who took four children in all by herself, did a magnificent job at parenting.

My mother, who hasn’t spoken or communicated with me via voice in 5 years, doesn’t really care about me.

Can you see the difference?

We often times point out the negatives of our past, but it’s really time to start looking at the positives.

I’m going to give you some techniques on how to achieve, but first, this is how you can rewire your brain.

Last Job

So, I was taken in by a job and was given work for 3.5 years.  I had the opportunity to work at about 4 different companies, worked at one of the biggest companies in Thailand, worked at a university (tracing back my roots to this country and close that part of my life off) and saw one of my students’ parents (who speaks excellent English now).  I had the opportunity to teach some brilliant students from one of the best universities in Thailand.  I had projects because a lady believed in my ability and I realized my ability while living there, pushing myself to greater heights by resigning and moving onto the biggest projects of my life.

See, that’s called acknowledging your positive past. 

Sure, I could’ve pointed out all the negative, but all of the negatives were character building moments that set me up for this monumental moment right now.

My Brother

in 2003, there was a bone-head taunting the marching band of Rancho High School.  I sat behind these two thug-spewing neanderthals as they berated the band and threw things at us.  I said, “enough” as I was looking at my friend Carlos.  I removed my hat, walked over to the stairs and made my way up before losing it.  There were a cluster of adjectives coming out of my mouth.

My brother, who had gotten injured playing basketball, was in a cast.  He then said, “ughhh you ain’t gon be talking to my brotha like dat!”  He stood up and people started running over — instigators — is what I call them.

At that very moment, it was a family moment.  It was an older brother protecting his younger brother against the wrestling team of Rancho High School.   How about that?!

Thailand

Nakhon Si Thammarat, I’m going to be grateful for this place.  I went to this province in the south of Thailand in hopes to find my alchemy.  I failed, but I met some wonderful people along the way.  So many of my students from a particular school loved me because I was so charismatic.  I went to a wedding and this lady asked me, “hey, you’re always in a good mood, come fishing with me.” I was approached my two sisters who spoke fluent English.  They recently lived in my Native Las Vegas and worked at a hotel that I would routinely pass by when going to work.  They had also lived in Hawaii, a place I visited just 6 months prior.  The women at the gym loved me.  Both had a boyfriend/husband, respectively, but you can see it in their eyes (LOL!).

Guys, I’ve just gone over the simplest way to acknowledge your positive past, and here are some additional ways.

Begin With Nine Major Successes: Based On Your Age

If you’re 21, break it down in three increments (birth – 7; 8 – 14; 15 – 21).  

Whatever age you are, divide it by three.

Mirror Exercise

just before you go to bed, stand in front of a mirror and appreciate yourself for what you accomplished during the day.  Start with a few seconds of looking directly into your eyes.

Any achievements –  business, financial, educational, personal, physical, emotional.

Disciplines: exercise, reading, meditation

Temptations you never gave into: Ex: my eating gummy bears habit.

When you start doing this exercise, you’ll realize that all that junk, negative internal self-talk will totally vanish.

Reward Your Inner Child & Children

Make key deposits into your relationships, friendships, parents everyday.  Fill those bank accounts with positivity and rewards.  If you succeed at something, whatever you craved as a child, take yourself (and even your children) with you to get that craving.

 

Day-tight Compartments: Anxiety & “What Am I Supposed To Do” Happened

Touch a button and hear, at every level of your life, the iron doors shutting out the Past – the dead yesterdays.  Touch another and shut off, with a metal curtain, the Future – the unborn tomorrows.  Then you are safe – safe for today!  . . . Shut off the past! Let the dead past bury its dead . . . Shut out the yesterdays which have lighted fools the way to dust death . . . The load of tomorrow, added to that of yesterday, carried, makes the strongest falter.  Shut off the future as tightly as the past . . . The future is today . . . . There is no tomorrow.  The day man’s salvation is now.  Waste of energy, mental distress, nervous worries dog the steps of a man who is anxious about the future . . . Shut close, then, the great fore and aft bulkheads, and prepare to cultivate the habit of a life of ‘day-tight-compartments.’ ” – Dale Carnegie

When I read this a few days ago, I had weight lift off my shoulders.  It was a vortex of melancholy.  I was sitting on my bed, hunched over, and these thoughts started bearing down on me.  I get worked up when jobs send me jobs, stay quiet for about a week, then I have to ask them, “what happened?”  and when I do, they say “sorry, they chose another teacher.”

This is very infuriating, as what I’ve said a many times before, so I took charge.  I decided to email them back and I went on a clean, concise rant before blocking the email.

I won’t sit around and weight for people to choose me at the end of the stick because of obvious reasons.

I woke up the next morning and said, “what have I done?!”  But, in the end, did I want to work for a place like that anyways? Absolutely not.

So what did I do? I was succumbed by worry – worry that didn’t make any sense.  I look at my bank accounts and say, “I’m actually pretty good right now.”  I look at my income for this month, and I’m actually in a pretty good surplus.  So what the hell is it that I’m worried about?

The Future

I had to revert to the manual.  The future, and thinking about all the what ifs, will drive us insane.  It drives a lot of people to insanity, depression, and death.  As all of you have heard a many of times, we can only control the things that are happening at that moment – nothing else.  We get so caught up in the “what’s going to happen next month? I don’t have anything coming up? Omg. I’m in trouble!” However, this has happened so much in terms of my life even back in Australia.

I was a dental temp and boy, during the Christmas holidays, I was completely out of money.  I had all my money in an account I had no access to and banks were closed for like 2 weeks.  Not only that, but being a dental temp, a lot of offices are on vacation.  It picked back-up (obviously after Christmas), but my life was never in real danger, nor is it here (given the fact that expenses are much cheaper).  I know what I’m doing and I know where I’m going in life right now, so the goal is to stay focused.

Podcast

Is Technology Really Bad? Or Is It The Older Generations That Are Feeding Us Suggestions?

I was reading an article with my students about 2017 being the safest year in aviation history.  That’s right.  52 deaths in a 365 day calendar year.  Half of those deaths came within the last week (what I call freak accidents) with what it seems to be a very bad plane model (forgot the name but I think it’s a Cessna).  Nonetheless, no commercial airlines crashed.  Is it because Air Traffic control and communication improved vastly? Oh, no? Ok, plane models got much better than? The horrendous 747-400 is finally retired in America, leaving behind a pretty horrendous crash report (and these planes should’ve been retired after the 80’s).  Nonetheless, we have to say that technology, in general, has improved in this area.

Deadliest decade? 1970’s and 1980’s with over 100,000 deaths per decade (correct me if I’m wrong).  Hmmm….so let’s think about that.  Martin Luther King Jr’s assassination along with JFK (which happened a bit earlier); the horrendous Vietnam War, the Khmer Rouge ransacking Phnom Pehn Cambodia, the introduction of cocaine in the Americans.  It’s safe to say that it was a batshit crazy couple of decades, and it’s very important to acknowledge what has happened in the past.  But it was a lack of communication that fueled wars, was it not?

However, the focus here is technology.

No social media.  International calling? Ceased to exist, right? Landlines only.  Took forever to send mail and packages.  You name it….but because technology evolved so much, I can send a text message from where I’m sitting now to the other side of the world instantaneously.  News outlets, such as all of them, are pleading that it’s the end of the world, yet they’re the ones who technically created the “beast.”

Let’s focus on the kaleidoscope.  How nuts was it to look into lens of some object to the stars? Let’s look at the introduction of the Atari – the first “inventive” video game system in the 80’s (I think?).  Let’s fast forward to the SNES and Sega Genesis.  Oh, those were supposed to ruin the lives of many people, yet I was able to befriend the best basketball player in my elementary school by having him come over and play a game with me before our 3rd grade class.

What about the introduction to MSN messenger and AIM?! Who remembers that? Ok, Korea had Xanga and Thailand had Hi-Five.  Yikes…that was into the dawn of the new millennium.  Remember pagers? I mean people were complaining about those, Myspace, and now they’re pointing fingers at FB.

Yes, just recently in Thailand there was a suicide on FB live.  Hell, there are beatings, killings, and all types of other things happening on FB live, YouTube, Twitter and so many other things….but it’s just exposing what human beings actually are.  That’s what it comes down to.

I mean how can we say something, which will continue to evolve and disrupt the world, is actually destroying our lives? Can you say accountability?  We’re now flying with in-flight entertainment systems before our eyes in some of the biggest aircraft to ever inhabit the sky; we can send messages and FaceTime with a human being who’s on the other side of the world; Air Traffic control, which I haven’t mentioned just yet, can redirect more than a dozen planes at one time and manoeuvre them around the city to avoid collision.  If we look at the deadliest years in aviation history, to what’s happening right now with Bitcoin…..which age groups exactly are the ones pointing fingers? Those that saw the JAL flight go down in Japan? The ones that were around while the USA invaded a small country in southeast Asia because of something called “communists?”  The only ones complaining about social media are those from a completely different time.  On the other hand, young one’s are on their phones and just adapting to what’s in front of their eyes.

Gary Vee, “technology is exposing exactly who we are, not changing who we are.  Everybody shows their best life on Instagram.  But that’s what we always did…we just did it over some coffee with a friend.  Mike Tyson’s punch out was suppose to ruin my life.  The walkman. You name it.”

Who’s profiting from the penny ads on these “fake news” websites? Can I ask you a question? How much money was made by each click when there was a “tsunami triggered” just off the coast of Alaska? Do you know how much these “news” websites make by delivering “circle of concern” type news to make it seem like it’s the end-of-the-world.

Everything is not what it seems.

Embrace the change.  Embrace the fact that this world is evolving into a magnificent planet….one that has evolved drastically in the last 4, 3, 2, 1, decade and a half.  Yes, we need to clean up the plastic island mess, stop hoarding all the damn fish with these fishing companies in the pacific, polluting our coral, and clean up our greenhouse emissions – but it will take an overall gigantic effort from us.  The individuals.  You…who are reading this.  It starts now.

Podcast

 

Don’t Try To Saw Sawdust

I was watching highlights of a Los Angeles Clippers game this last year, and there was one particular player named Caron Butler who was mic’d up.  This mic was attached to his jersey and it recorded everything he said the entire game.

There was an instance that he told the players on the bench, “hey, man…don’t cry over spilt milk.”  That was probably the first time I’ve ever heard that “idiom” or “saying,” but until now, I never really abide by it.

Until of course I saw it in Dale Carnegie’s book.

There’s a bunch of things we complain about.  At the moment I was reading this chapter, I was waiting anxiously at Kuala Lumpur, International Airport.  My flight had been delayed already for an hour (never fly Malaysian Airlines), and I needed to teach in Bangkok within the next four hours.  To put a stop-loss on my worry, I hurried up and told my class that I wouldn’t make it. Just so I wouldn’t prematurely age and relax.  On top of that, I told myself that there’s absolutely nothing I can do in regards to the flight, so just accept it for what it is.

Fred Fuller She’d about a hundred years ago was addressing a graduating class and asked all of them if they had sawed wood before.

They all said, “yes.”

And then he said, “how about the dust?”

None of them raised their hands and he said, “exactly! It’s already sawed! And it’s the same with the past.  When you start worrying about things that are over and done with, you’re merely trying to saw sawdust.”

Podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/episode/12367833

Clean Up Your Messes & Incompletes

If a cluttered desk is the sign of a cluttered mind, what is the significance of a clean desk? – Laurence J. Peter

I really like to say this about a lot of people.  If you walk into a friends home and it’s an absolute mess, what do you think is happening within the mind?  People who can’t properly care for themselves ranging from a simple morning routine involving a shower, to the severely obese beings who continue to saturate themselves with the worst-processed-foods-imaginable.

You ask yourself, “why?”

I personally can’t think if my condo is a mess.  Every morning after meditation, I take a pre-workout before working out, and while it’s kicking it, I literally clean my condo within 2 minutes so when I come back, my clothes are laid out and ready to go for work.

This doesn’t just revolve around the physical world, but also the psychological world.

Look at it this way by bullet points.

  • Decide
  • Plan
  • Start
  • Continue
  • Finish
  • Complete

This is called the Cycle of Completion.  This is a great diagram Jack Canfield has in his book.

Are there areas in your life where you’ve left uncompleted projects or failed to get closure with people?  When you don’t complete the past, you can’t be free to fully embrace anything that’s happening in the present and it surely blocks anything from coming in, too.

When you start anything in life, make an agreement or identify a change you need to make, it goes into your present memory bank and takes up what Jack calls an “attention unit.”  We can only pay attention to so many things at one time, and each promise, agreement, or item on your to-do list leaves fewer attention units to dedication to completing other things.

Another Example of this is Tim Ferris.  He goes to bed on a clean conscious every night by rambling on paper everything that’s on his mind.  It could be that advertiser who pissed him off, the person who didn’t give the correct change back…ANYTHING.  Why? These events that take place during the day rob us of attention units.

A lot of us take on requests, projects, tasks and other things; however, we really want to say no, but we’re afraid of being perceived as the “bad one.” So what happens if you put off responding in order to avoid saying no.

Meanwhile the sticky notes and stacks of paper pile up and distract you.  There may be times whereas you have to make some uncomfortable decisions….but it’s better struggling with discomfort then cleaning up those incomplete.

Some incompletions come from simply not having adequate systems.  Other incompletions pile up due to bad working habits.  Be firm, assertive, and just say no.

 

Acknowledge Your Positive Past

The sad truth about how we look back on our past is that we all have a lot more victories than failures.  In present day, we count all our negatives rather than the blessings.  That’s a given.  However; if we refer back to the past, we count all the negatives, too.

Yes, my mother and father split up after endless arguing between 95-98.  Yes, I had two step mothers both whom were wonderful. Yes, I switched school four times over a one calendar year period and I never had the opportunity to acclimate.  However, at the age of 11 when my mother took full custody of me, I can seriously count my major successes. This is a good exercise to begin with to start acknowledging your positive past.

BEGIN WITH NINE MAJOR SUCCESSES

Here’s a good way to begin an inventory on all of your major successes.  Start by dividing your life into three equal time periods.

For example, I’m 28, so I’m looking at 3 increments of 9 (although massive success has came in the past year. HA!). If you’re 40 years old, you’re looking at “Birth to 13” and so on.

Here’s a list below of my major successes.

First Third: Birth to 9

  1. Learned how to ride a bike.
  2. Learned how to play basketball, football, and soccer.
  3. Was a Math magician in my 4th grade Math class whereas my teacher (Mr. Parven) said, “multiples of 4” to me and I went on an incredible rant – 4, 8, 12, 16, 20….amazing stares from my classmates followed and then I understood that I was gifted. (Not many people in the world know this story – consider yourself lucky).

Second Third: Age 10 to 19

  1. Got first place in a track & field meet and went to three consecutive Sunrise Regional Track & Field Championships in the Southern of Nevada.
  2. Graduated from High School.
  3. Went to college.

Final Third: Age 20 to 28

  1. Traveled to Australia (and lived there for a year), Taiwan, South Korea, Japan, Hawaii, New Zealand, Laos, Malaysia, Singapore, and Vietnam.
  2. Became a teacher in Thailand.
  3. Now have a worldwide viewed podcast, my own website, working for massive corporations, soon to be Tedx speaker, motivating the masses.

Create A Victory Log

How about this, another way to stack those poker chips even higher is to keep a written record of your daily successes.   It could be doing your morning meditation, making your grateful 10 list, following up on phone calls and so forth.  By recalling and writing down your successes each day, you log them into your long-term memory, which enhances  your self-esteem and builds your confidence.

If a lot of your victories are on the internet – for example, if you’re an athlete, artist, author, or businessperson – you can make a digital scrapbook on Pinterest.

The End of The Day Mirror Exercise

Here’s an example os what my exercise might sound like:

Arsenio, I want to appreciate you for the following things today: First, I was to appreciate you for waking up on time and knocking out that to-do list with grace.  Then, you meditated for twenty minutes before dropping your clothes off at the wash.  You created a couple of podcasts and inspiring instagram posts before going to work and preparing for the next two days.

One of the best things you accomplished was finally you created a website.  You have your own website now! WOW! Who would’ve ever though, ey? You’ve done some maintenance and connected with people who can help you start ironing out the gorgeous platform that will have tons of traffic.

Oh, you got home, prepared your gym bag for the next day, meal-prepped for the next day, and now you’re looking up flight details for upcoming trips.  Today was an absolute MARVELLOUS day, Arsenio.  Now, go get some sleep!

And one more thing, Arsenio  – I love you!

Yes, you might feel awkward, silly, might want to cry, or generally uncomfortable.  There are all natural and normal reactions.  We aren’t trained to acknowledge ourselves.  In fact, we are mostly trained to do the opposite.  Doing this can extinguish that negative internal self-talk

So, try it!  Go on!

 

 

Jack Canfield – Believe In Yourself

You weren’t an accident.  You weren’t mass produced.  You aren’t an assembly-line product.  You were deliberately planned, specifically gifted, and lovingly position on the Earth by the Master Craftsman – Max Lucado

You have to believe that you are capable of making these dreams become a reality.   You have to believe that you’re able to pull it off.  Did Roger Banister believe he can break the four minute barrier back in the 1950’s? Yes.  And what happened after that? More than 20,000 people have done it, including high school students.

Whether you call it self-esteem, self-confidence, or self-assurance, it is a deep-seated believe that you have what it takes – the abilities, inner resources, talent and skills to create the results you want.

I’ll be honest, the majority of us had run-of-the-mill parents who inadvertently passed on to us the same limiting beliefs and negative conditioning they grew up with.  In my household, money was scarce.  It was the ultimate limitation until my father came home with a brand new Dodge Grand Prix 1995….yet we had the water cut off?

Remember, the past is the past.  There is no useful payoff for blaming my parents, your parents, and everything else for our current level of self-confidence. It’s now time to take charge.

How can you do that? You’re going to have to give up the “I can’t.”  Also, ‘I can’t has a vast array of cousins in conditional form such as “I wish” and “if only”…just to name a few.  These phrases disempower you.  They actually make us weaker when we say them.

Does everyone remember Susan Boyle? The unknown 48-year-old woman when in the spring of 2009, she skyrocketed onto the international stage.  You received two grammy nominations and amassed an estimated net worth of more than 37 million dollars.

Brianna and Brittany Winner, by the age of 12, completed their first novel, The Strand Prophecy, which was distributed nationwide.  Not only that, they completed four novels, a screenplay, a guide to writing, and a comic book…..oh, and they were both dyslexic.

Don’t ever say you can’t do something.  If you got a dream, you gotta protect it.  When people can’t do it themselves, they wanna tell you that you can’t do it.  If you want something, go get it.  Period.  – Will Smith Pursuit of Happiness

Podcast – https://www.spreaker.com/episode/8334086