10 Ways to make your dream come true

1. Be Yourself

SOME people might say you’re too fat, you’re too short, too straight, too gay. Whatever your sexual preference is, color of your skin, perception of life, values…just know that there will never be another YOU on this planet. In order to make your dreams come true, you have to be 100% authentic about who you are. If you’re even just slightly off, that could have a catastrophic effect on your passion.

Experiences During Meditation | Mindfulness Course

We’re back with episode III of this course and in today’s segment we will talk about experiences that you will possibly have during meditation. The breathing exercise podcast from yesterday was all about breath work and letting thoughts come and go, but in today’s podcast, it’s essential to understand what you could possibly feel during the process so that you don’t freak out. I had an unbelievable experience about 4-5 years ago when I went into a deep state. Hear the experience in the podcast!

Wheel of Life: March 2019 Edition – HERE IT COMES!

Boy, I woke up from a nap in the afternoon and realized that I had forgotten my wheel of life podcast! HEARTBREAKING!

Rest assured, I’ve delivered it and it’s time to kick things off!

So for those of you tuning in for the first time, you’re probably asking yourselves, “what is the wheel of life podcast?”

Perfect question.

Rate yourself on a scale 1-10 in the following categories.

  • Personal Development
  • Physical Environment
  • Wealth
  • Health
  • Career
  • Romantic Relationships
  • Family and Friends
  • Fun & Hobbies

Personal Development – 9

Yes, I have ‘Rich Dad Poor Dad’ in my ear, along with reading books and just injecting myself with so much information that can be extremely vital. However, there’s room for improvement.

For instance, my morning routine, which is always interrupted by my habit of picking up my phone, isn’t the best. I don’t do meditation as often and I don’t listen to affirmations in the morning. However, look at my self-awareness!

Physical Environment – 10

Quiet, cozy, conveniently located condominium and jobs that I enjoy going to. I don’t wake up in the morning saying, “ahhh I have this student or this job today.” That’s not in my vocabulary. I’m beyond content with what’s happening.

Romantic Relationships – X

You already know what this is. It’s been happening forever, but maybe because I’m so focused on achieving greatness in my personal life (with my career)

Circle of Friends (Family & Friends) – 8

I haven’t made that many contacts this month. I tried reaching out and I’ve also heard some amazingly inspiring stories, but it’s still not good enough. I have a ridiculously solid core around me, but then I’m let down because people can’t keep their agreements. So, I shoo them away and put them on the outside so that if they do leave again or do something that causes a disruption, I will have shrugged my shoulder and say “good riddance.”

Fun & Hobbies – 7

Yes, Malaysia, which was probably the most disappointing trip I’ve had since going to Laos (and for the last time) last year, did happen…but it’s nothing to brag about.

I filled in my Monday schedule again with more work after promising myself that Monday would be a core/meet friends day. I’m still cancelling people because I would much rather sleep than develop a relationship. See, lots of inner voices are still running rampant and I’m trying to control them.

Career – 10

Patreon to monetize my English language courses, UDEMY for the pronunciation course, business writing development for a client that’s going to score me my biggest ever salary, and so many other things. Yes, I haven’t been connecting and I’ve pressed “stop” on all interviewees (especially on my personal development podcast), but I’m more focused on the bigger picture now.

More in the podcast down below!

Vientiane, Laos: Part II & The End – Opinion Has Changed

So, I’m standing in this long immigration line and I couldn’t help but look and see who was around me.  Smokers from Russia over my left shoulder, smoking where everyone was standing; backpackers who had red eyes a couple of people in front of me who had slow reactions to everything, druggies sitting on the ground talking about what drugs they’ve experienced with on Koh Phangan.

Do I need to continue?

Ok, so Laos attracts the bare minimum of humanity.  No, I have no authority, nor do I like speaking negatively about people, but to see these types of people entering Thailand, it’s no wonder the visa laws have gotten strict to get these types of individuals out.

Ok, outside of immigration, what else?

Vientiane Luxury Hotel – 3.5 out of 10 stars

Staff unhelpful, pool bar advertised but doesn’t serve drink, unhelpful and unfriendly staff from different nations (they’re not Laos people, but more Vietnamese and Indian), dated hotel, elevator looks like a horror film.

Grr, I hate being negative, but this could help people with making a decision on coming here in the future.  Why did I stay here? Looked very nice in pictures with great reviews.  Outside of a slightly above average breakfast, walking through the lobby scares me because everyone is just RUDE.

You’ve Pointed Out Everything NOT About Lao People

That’s right. Lao people are amazing.  The restaurants I’ve gone to have been superb.  Excellent service just outside the main road in town at a small, but wonderful restaurant with some pretty good food.  Went to a burger joint in the evening on Thursday and had a DELICIOUS Aussie burger.  Staff was FANTASTIC! Yes, the embassy employees were rude, but who wouldn’t be? If you would’ve seen some of those people yesterday, you would be disgusted.  But if I can some this all up, lao people are unbelievably friendly, but the city is overrun by druggies, smokers, and the worst backpackers in the world.  I was walking to my hotel yesterday and an American walked by, suspiciously looking at me, wreaking of marijuana and wanting a conversation, although he could hardly even hold himself up.

I’m grateful for Laos and Lao people, but this is a place I can never come to again because the energy is downright depressing.  Seeing these foreigners here, drugged out and socially awkward (AS HELL), makes me cringe.

So long, Laos!

Wheel of Life: October 2018 Edition – Closing Out The Year

Another month, another close.  Yes, it’s been a year with far more ups than downs, but the closing is coming to an end.

How will you leave your mark?

For those of you tuning in for the first time, this is a podcast that’s for people who are willing to identify what areas of life are their strengths and which ones they’ve been neglecting.  Here are the categories.

  • Personal development
  • Physical environment
  • Romantic relationships
  • Health
  • Wealth
  • Career
  • Fun & Hobbies
  • Family & Friends

Rate yourself from 1-10 in each category and be brutally honest about yourself.  Once you understand what areas are suffering, now you’re consciously aware and can make a change.  Here are not only my categories, but what I need to improve in.

Improvement Stages Launch

Normally I’ve talked about my main scores followed by explanation, but I want to see where I can improve.  It’s not about becoming a perfectionist, but improving.

Physical Environment – *3

So, in terms of my physical environment, I believe that it can increase significantly.  First and foremost, my separate projects outside my main place of work are great.  A turning point happened at my job where someone “bitched” at me over something that isn’t even worth repeating (ok, it was about writing on a back of a sheet of paper), but it made me realize “maybe this place doesn’t deserve a teacher like me?”  When she did this, I scratched my head and said, “I’m not going to get my visa until early next year…and that’s if I’m still here.”

That’s called a yellow flag, folks.  Never fully commit when you have nastiness happening.

I’m now cancelling a lot of my availability with the job — because I CAN.  I’m also focusing on my main projects, but that and a couple of blackouts at my condo has hampered the everlasting 10 you would see on a continuous basis.

Physical Environment – *2

I could’ve increased my personal development by a large margin if I just know how to end my day.

I’ve been scuffling and trying to figure out an evening routine that’s suitable for m Because I finish work so ridiculously late, it’s very hard for me to end my day effectively (no excuses.  It all deals with my phone.  If I’m able to listen to affirmations or listen to my “calm” application, which has some nice story-telling to put me in a good state of mind, I win.  However, I haven’t been able to do that.

So, there are several things that I will implement. Tune into my podcast down below for that!

Career – *1.5

Honestly, I’m on the right track.  The comments, the love, the support, the things I’m attracting…but my actions are still not showing that I’m hungry for my ebook and webinar launch.

Wealth – *5

This was the category that made me upset.  I should be making a solid figure per month at my day job, but I’m not — STILL.  So, what can I do to buck the trend? In the podcast!

Because I don’t want to make this long extra long, I decided put everything into my podcast down below to here how I’m able to cope with things that aren’t working.

Podcast

Positive Mental Attitude: Season 2 – Episode 22 – Quotient Analysis – Part C

Here we go! This is the last part of the quotient analysis!  If you haven’t already done Part A or Part B, I suggest you hit the links on the left and do them before the last part.

13. Learning from defeat
(a) Does defeat cause you to stop trying?

_____ _____
(b) If you fail in a given effort, do you keep trying?

_____ _____
(c) Is temporary defeat the same as failure?

_____ _____
(d) Have you learned any lessons from defeat?

_____ _____
(e) Do you know how defeat can be converted into an asset that will lead to success?

_____ _____
14. Creative vision
(a) Do you use your imagination constructively?

_____ _____
(b) Do you make your own decisions?

_____ _____
(c) Is the man who only follows instructions always worth more than the man who also creates new ideas?”

(d) Are you inventive?

_____ _____
(e) Do you create practical ideas in connection with your work?

_____ _____
(f) When desirable, do you seek sound advice?”

 

15. Budgeting time and money
(a) Do you save a fixed percentage of your income?

_____ _____
(b) Do you spend money without regard to your future source of income?

_____ _____
(c) Do you get sufficient sleep each night?

_____ _____
(d) Is it your habit to employ spare time studying self-improvement books?”

 

16. Maintenance of sound health
(a) Do you know five essential factors of sound health?

_____ _____
(b) Do you know where sound health begins?

_____ _____
(c) Are you aware of the relation of relaxation to sound health?

_____ _____
(d) Do you know the four important factors necessary for the proper balancing of sound health?

_____ _____
(e) Do you know the meaning of “hypochondria” and “psychosomatic illness”?

_____ _____
17. Using cosmic habit force as it pertains to your personal habits
(a) Do you have habits which you feel you cannot control?

_____ _____
(b) Have you recently eliminated undesirable habits?

_____ _____
(c) Have you recently developed any new, desirable habits?”

Rating System

Here’s how to rate your answers. All the following questions should have been answered NO: 3c – 3d – 4b – 5b – 5c – 5e – 6b – 6c – 8a – 8d – 9b – 9d- 10c – 11b – 11c – 12c – 13a – 13c – 14c – 15b – 17a. All other questions should have been answered YES. Your score would have been 300 if all the questions had been answered “No” or “Yes” as shown above. This is a perfect score and very few people have ever made such a score. Now let’s see what your score was.”

Number of “Yes” answers instead of “No”:
——x 4 =——
If you answered “No” to any of the meaning questions that should have been answered “Yes,” deduct four points for each one:
Number of “No” answers instead of “Yes”:
——x 4 =——
Add the subtotals together, and subtract from 300. This will be your score.
Illustration:
Number of “Yes” answers instead of “No”: 3 x 4 = 12
Number of “No” answers instead of “Yes”: 2 x 4 = 8
Total Number of Wrong Answers __________ 20
Perfect Score ____________________ 300
Minus Total Number of Wrong Answers __________ 20
Your Score ____________________ 280

 

300 points _____ Perfect (Very Rare)
275 to 299 points _____ Good (Above Average)
200 to 274 points _____ Fair (Average)
100 to 199 points _____ Poor (Below Average)
Below 100 points _____ Unsatisfactory

You have now taken an important step to success and happiness.”

Podcast

 

 

Stephen Covey: Application Suggestions: Emotional Bank Account, Empathy, Closing Your Ears, Autobiographical Responses

It’s time to apply what we’ve already learned about in the blog post: The Emotional Bank Account, with our daily lives.  This has to be the Top 5 most viewed blog on my website.  My guess is it’s providing a significant amount of feedback, and like a lot of writers and other YouTubers out there, they never give an example from their life in regards to them applying the questions and suggestions that books give.  So, here I am to give you a great example.

  1. Select a relationship in which you sense the Emotional Bank Account is in the red.  Try to understand and write down the situation from the other person’s point of view.  In your next interaction, listen for understanding, comparing what you are hearing with what you wrote down.  How valid were your assumptions? Did you really understand that individual’s perspective?

So, the first situation that came to mind was a girl named Zern.  This is a girl I dated towards the end of last year, but things and communication completely fell apart within maybe a two-day period.

What I wrote down was, “she complained about every single detail; from not asking what she wanted out of 7-11, to not picking up the luggage for her at her condo.”  The Emotional Bank Account had become so overdrawn that while driving back to Bangkok, she was spewing an insane amount of pessimism and complaining about even the smallest details.  Her last message was, “you are too independent.”

Am I? Absolutely.  Is there such thing as being “too” independent? Not necessarily.  If I can back track in time and see what I did wrong that day, which was simply not asking her what she wanted from 7-11 (although I didn’t even see her after I came out the restroom), there was more of an underlying problem.  Because I’ve been living alone for so long, I sometimes forget the littlest things.  It’s holding the door open, kiss on the forehead (maybe that’s too much, lol), picking up luggage, washing the dishes, making sure everything is clean when I leave the bathroom, obeying by simple rules.  I’ve been accustomed so much to being alone that I unconsciously do everything based on habits I’ve developed.  Most men in the world go through long spans in life without having another significant other.  I’m one of them.  There was another girl I dated and it didn’t work because she simply said, “we’re too different.”  It’s not necessarily me, but it’s my habits.

What can I do going forward? Well, create a new habit and start practicing being dependent.  However, am I ready for a relationship right now? Absolutely not.  Lol

2. Share the concept of empathy with someone close to you.  Tell him or her you want to work on really listening to others and ask for feedback in a week.  How did you do? How did it make that person feel?

Alissa, a college friend, emailed me after months of terminating the friendship.  She was very sad about my actions in terms of broadcasting what had happened with the botch trip — on FB.  I apologized, pointed out my faults, and I ‘seek to understand.’

She made some valid points, and sure, the friendship could be revived, but after some of the most critical situations in my life….she was never there.  Can I let her back in “close friend” circle? Absolutely not.  That boat sailed.  If there’s something we can do to salvage a “distance” relationship, then fine.  I’m 100% for either decision regardless.

Now, aside from my ridiculous story, I want all of you to use this in terms of rating yourself — the Jack Canfield exercise I talked about a very long time ago. Example.

“Hey, babe, what would you rate me for today?”

“An 8.”

“What can I do to be a 10?”

This could drive people insane because there’s no way anyone is perfect, but establishing close listening and hearing something, without saying a word, can make you a victor and help your relationship.  Synergy!

3. The next time you have an opportunity to watch people communicate, cover your ears for a few minutes and just watch.  What emotions are being communicated that may not come across in words alone?

4. Next time you catch yourself inappropriately using one of the autobiographical responses — probing, evaluating, advising, or interpreting — try to turn the situation into a deposit by acknowledgement and apology.

“Sorry, I just realized that I’m not really trying to understand.  Could we start again?”

You’re Either Positive; Or You’re Negative

Family

After going through a journey back home to America in 2012, meeting some of the most magnificent people in Thailand, Japan, and Hawaii, you could imagine how high I was on Cloud 9.  I felt like I had conquered everything.  I was really unsure of my whereabouts over the ensuing months, but I was still elated at the fact that I went to a wild Bangkok/Phuket and I touched down in Japan.

The moment I got home, my mother picked me up at the airport and took me back to that “neighborhood.”  I was in limbo and still in vacation mode, but then slowly I smelled (marijuana) in the neighborhood and in my house – nothing had changed.  For one year I was gone, my family was still circling around in that wheel of life many people fall victim too.

I was lecturing my sister that evening about my travels to Japan, what was happening in my life, meeting people at a bar not too far from my house, and of course, the girl racial comment I got was from an anglo woman making fun of the Japanese Kanji lettering on my t-shirt.  Welcome back to Las Vegas.

My brother had a cluster of bumps on his back and ultimately needed surgery; my oldest sister was going through a TERRIBLE breakup and kept bitching about her BF, and my youngest sister, cleverly, tucked herself away in the bedroom.

Look, either you’re going to be positive or negative.  I didn’t know anywhere near as much as I do now, but I knew that complaining about reality and circumstances were going to get me nowhere.  My mom lost her job because of poor decisions, and I don’t ever recall my mom getting a job until I left (9-10 month period).  So, my brother and I had to pay the bills and it was competition.  If I paid 20$, he paid 30$ and told me I wasn’t doing much for mom.  Every time he came around me, he was always upset and wanting to bitch about something.  I could feel the energy when he walked by, and luckily, just days before my departure, the eruption didn’t happen.  I felt it festering because I wasn’t talking to my family AT ALL, but thankfully nothing ridiculous happened before I left.

Some things I will just never understand I suppose.

Teacher Ray

47-year-old Irishman who I worked with at my first, and worst job (of my life) back in Chanthaburi Thailand, which is located about 3 hours southeast from Bangkok.  Now that I look back at this particular individual, I realize that he’s the epitome of what’s wrong with foreigners in Thailand – and now he’s trapped with a child the government has taken away from him.

He had a wife that barely knew any English, and one of the most wonderful daughters one could ever imagine.  She was delightful and had a contagious laugh; also calling me “Uncle Buck.”

However, Ray would talk about his past life heaps for some odd reason.  There was a particular character he worked with and he just couldn’t let the stories go.  I’m guessing this is what he ended up running away in general.  He would go to bars, have sex with women between 18-30 years of age (in Thailand it’s extremely easy when you’re of a fair complexion), and cheat on his wife continuously.  Every time I was around him, he complained about the world and all the politics.  He never smiled or laughed about anything – just full on rants.  Last time I heard two years ago that his life left him, taking the child.  He began dating someone at the school we worked at and then broke up (super awkward situation).  He then started spewing a lot of hate at staff and then POOF! Just like that…he up and left.  Most foreign men over 40-45 years of age in Thailand suffer from the same thing.

Last Job

40-45 year olds complaining, bitching, having sex with the staff behind their wives’ backs, pointing fingers, saying their students are dumb, alcoholics, drug addicts, whore buyers.  You name it.  This was my workplace.  All of them? Well, about 75% of them.  The other ones I just couldn’t figure out.  In 2016 and after reading Jack Canfield’s book, I realized that being around life-sucking animals was stumping my growth, so I started ignoring everyone and then the “taddle-telling” began.

You had a teacher who was 72 and had a 40-year-old wife, insulting her on a continuous basis and spewing hateful rhetoric about muslims at work.  You had one of the most despicable human beings who was 50 and had a 18-year-old girlfriend.  Apparently he was a neighborhood drunk and constantly argued and beat her, all while smashing bottles out on the streets.  Another one, who was actually the worst teacher and had the worst complaints, had sex with staff, and on a nightly basis, he drove to 7-11, chugged down 3 beers, and went home.  Another one was jacked up on drugs.

I mean, why am I telling you these stories.  One, be grateful.  Be grateful that you’re not trapped in a country you absolutely hate (well, most of us).  Realize that everything you’re putting out is going to ultimately come back.  If you’re a negative, newly divorced old man, southeast Asia isn’t for you because you could be part of the jumping men, which are men who hurl themselves over balconies in Pattaya, Thailand, killing themselves.

If you move to a country because you think women are submissive and you think it’s an easy life, you’re going to find yourself hating that country because you will attract to you the bottom-of-the-food-chain-women who will milk you of all your savings.  I used to see this everyday in Pathumthani, a province north of Bangkok.  On weekends, the play was overflowing with pedaphiles trying to solicit young girls and boys to sex, but of course police did NOTHING because they were “white,” through the eyes of the dumb-beholders.  Seeing this everyday — working at a job where the British head teacher, too, was a wife-tourist — was disheartening and infuriating.

I wanted to be happy.  That area was slum-filled with the worst of mindsets.  So, how I had to infer and look at my life through a strangers eyes.  I was unhappy, terrible health (lots of pollution around there), racism, removed from company, lack of hours and money.

LEAVE.

I was either going to be on the offense, or be defensive. I was either going to surround myself with writers, business owners, trainers, and successful people – or be around men who escaped the past.  It was one way or the other.  I chose to go right.

Stephen Covey’s Understanding & Perception

The world would be a vast place of harmonious prosperity ONLY IF WE UNDERSTOOD life through the eyes of other people.  If I was the president of any country, I would try seeing and understanding the world through the eyes of other countries that are suffering from poverty, war-torn, nuclear war, and other things that relate to the fall of a Kingdom/Country.

As the days go on, there’s rhetoric being spewed everywhere; from the Gambian president saying “if you want sex, go to Thailand,” to Thai citizens retorting in the most disgusting fashion with racial hatred.  All of this: colorism, racism, fanaticism, religionism, culturalism, fascism, and all other ‘isms,’ is what’s separating not only the countries of the world from each other, but our daily lives.

Remember the reference I made to a colleague that didn’t see life through my eyes?  I, being from Las Vegas, was completely gutted after the terrorist attack that happened last October.  I erupted in front of my students because they giggled about it.  That next month, the “head teacher” tried putting blame on me to why it happened.  I was appalled.  That same individual, within the matter of minutes, began to say that racism doesn’t exist at these companies, although I’ve talked about it a plentiful of times for years.  This is the problem with the very old generations, especially from England and especially wife-tourists.  The bulk of the racism in Thailand comes from anglos; and also in China, too.  When we fail to have empathy for one another, conflict happens.

As you learn to listen deeply to other people, you will discover tremendous differences in perception.  You will also begin to appreciate the impact that these differences can have as people try to work together.

You see the young woman; I see the old lady.  And both of us can be right.

You may look at the world through spouse-centered glasses; I see it through the money-centered lens of economic concern.

You may be scripted in the abundance mentality; I may be scripted in the scarcity mentality.

You may approach problems from a highly visual, intuitive, holistic approach right brain paradigm; I may be very left brain, very sequential, analytical, and verbal in my approach.

Our perceptions can be vastly different.  And yet we both have lived with out paradigms for years, thinking they are “facts” and questioning the character or the mental competence of anyone who can’t “see the facts.”

One time I got unbelievably frustrated at work about 8 years ago because I wasn’t getting any help from everyone.  The practice manager immediately called me in and sat me down.  We (me and the new assistant) didn’t understand our roles in the practice.  It was becoming more confusing as the days went on, so this hearttalk and having the practice manager see what I was going through – through my eyes – made him understand the situation.

SEEK FIRST TO UNDERSTAND

 

Thailand: 5 Years & Counting – What Have I Learned?

When I first landed, I was astounded by the humidity.  Yes, I had come here once before, but the humidity wasn’t at this magnitude.  Being in Sukhumvit in May is like being in a damn oven – filled with stenches beyond this planet.

I recall meeting up with a teacher — at Platinum Mall in Ratchthewi — and I knew I was going to be in for a mess.  Her energy was some of the worst I have ever seen TO THIS DAY! What she said about Thai people (although she’s Thai), how she spoke to me, and how vindictively malicious she was….unlike anything I’ve ever seen.  I can go back to my first job in Melbourne, Australia — and first job in Sydney, Australia — both unbelievably bad.  Terrible bosses, relentless dentists, and drove me to insanity.

So, coming here I already had some experience.  Getting a stomach bug for the first 6 weeks before getting a shipment of Herbalife was a kilogram dropper.  That’s right.  I lost probably 5KG, eating what was a black egg (not smart at all…I know).

Anyways, I can go all the way to the south of Thailand and tell you about one of the worst experiences I had, and trek all the way up to a northern province called Ang Thong, a place I stayed for only 2 weeks because I knew the racial tensions were evident.

The biggest thing I’ve learned about this entire process has been….purpose.  Why did I come here to Thailand to begin with? Why did I continue to remain in a country that wasn’t and still isn’t particularly fond of colored people? Yes, the tides have completely changed and I see the love everywhere, but that wasn’t the case for almost 3 years.

How did I end up developing an inspirational podcast, website, YouTube videos, and so many other things that has brought me a lot of notoriety in the self-improvement and educational realm? Was this my intention to begin with? No.

Thailand, coming up on the 5th year, has taught me to never give up.  In the wake of so much racial discrimination, to having bosses (currently) who wants to see me fail.  I now know what my true self-worth is compared to years past.  When everything went down the way it did a month ago, I immediately told myself, “everything this man is saying right now is a thought form about his monolithic perception of African Americans.  None of it has to do with you, Arsenio.  However, you don’t deserve this….and my mental capacity doesn’t, either.  Could you please start applying for jobs elsewhere so you can discover more?”….

……that’s what I exactly did.

A new job, 6 projects, wonderful people, gorgeous new area of living, etc.

Don’t take the bull*hit from people.  When you’re being disrespected, become a lawyer.  List out everything that had happened up until that point and then make a decision.  Become a “crime solver” and have fun with it.  Don’t let the negative suggestions of others dictate your life.