Beware of These Three Traps: Neglect

Trap 3: Beware Neglect

It’s easy to neglect the important people and things in our lives when we get overcommitted or overreach. Perhaps that’s why this is one of the most important chapters in the book. Read it twice. Trust me. No one wants to wake up and realize they took their eye off what matters.

Performance Prompts

  1. An area where I am neglecting someone or something important in my life is . . .

Being true to my commitments, would be mine. But how about you? Someone you consistently put off who you love?

  1. An area where that neglect will cause me regret later on is . . .
  1. An area where I can return my focus, reallocating my attention to things that matter, is…
  2. Some areas in my life where I feel overcommitted right now are . . .
  3. The things I need to learn to say no to more often are . . .
  4. An opportunity I really want to chase right now that I could schedule to revisit in few
    months is . . .
  5. The main things moving the needle toward my success that I should be focused on right
    now, despite all the other exciting interests and opportunities I could chase, are . . .
  6. The way I’ll remind myself not to take on too much is . . .

Podcast

Beware of These Three Traps: Dissatisfaction

Trap 2: Beware Dissatisfaction
Do not listen to those who say, “Never be satisfied.” Satisfaction is something you should feel as you strive, not one day when all is perfect. Being satisfied, then, doesn’t mean “settling.” It simply means accepting and taking pleasure in what is. It’s allowing yourself to feel contentment whether or not a thing is complete or “perfect.” You have to reach yourself to feel fulfilled and enjoy the journey now.

These prompts will help.

  • The areas of my life I’ve felt consistently dissatisfied with include . . .

Think about personal development, health, wealth, career, fun & hobbies, family and friends, etc.

  • Some good things that have also happened in those areas include . . .

Look at the good side of these areas and ask yourself what has been learned. Again, if you’re dealing with year-long dissatisfaction on the job, it’s because it’s no longer providing meaning to you.

  • Something I can say to myself the next time I feel dissatisfied, to get me to notice the good things and continue moving forward, is . .

  • Someone who probably sees me dissatisfied more than I want them to is . . .

  • If I were going to inspire that person to believe you can enjoy life as you work hard and
    succeed, I would have to change these behaviors . . .

Podcast

Beware of These Three Traps: #1 Superiority

High performers face a unique set of character traps because they are, by definition, outperforming so many around them. When you are succeeding beyond others, it’s easy to get a big head. You can begin to think you’re special, separate from, better than, or more important than other people. Of course, you probably would never say to yourself, “One day, I want to start feeling that I’m better than other people.” So consider these prompts closely.

Performance Prompts

  • A recent situation where I found myself being overly critical or dismissive of others was…

Think of any situation in your life that you felt like you were looking down on someone based on what class you think you’re in versus theirs. This could be you looking down on a street cleaner, maintenance, bus driver, etc.

  • The thoughts I had about myself in that situation and the others involved were . . .

Did you have thoughts of “well, I make this much money and you make a fraction, therefore I can treat you poorly.” This is the Thai mindset, and it could be very disheartening for a lot of people out there. I make sure I always give grace to security and the cleaners at my condo (except one lady because she’s a total crazy.)

  • Had I reimagined the situation from a more humble and appreciative view, I would
    probably have realized that . . .

Go back and apologize. Be different in your next interaction with people you believe you’re more superior too.

  • The best way I can remind myself that everyone is dealing with difficulties in life and that we’re all more alike than we are different is . . .

Podcast

Sharing Your Ambitions Performance Prompts

Practice 2: Share Your Truth & Ambitions


The main motivation of humankind is to be free, to express our true selves and pursue our dreams without restriction—to experience what may be called personal freedom. Follow this impulse by consistently sharing your true thoughts, feelings, needs, and dreams
with other people. Do not play small to placate others. Live your truth. – Brendan Burchard

Performance Prompts

  1. Something I really want to do that I haven’t shared with enough people is . . .
  • Traveling, starting that business, taking that leap of faith, committing to that passion. Put it out there….
  1. If I were going to be more “me” in my everyday life, I would start to . . .
  • Since living in Thailand, I realized that regardless of what I do, I will always be just “black” or “bad” through the eyes of Thais — not only Thais but Asians on the continent of Asia in general. So, that enabled me to establish me and live ME everyday.
  1. When I put myself out there and someone makes fun of me, I’m just going to . . .
  • Critical. YouTube is troll city. Are you ready for people to judge you? What criticism will you accept? Will you respond to no-face trolls out there? This is why I turned off ALL COMMENTS on my YouTube because it shows I don’t give a fuck about anyone’s opinion. I’ve turned off likes, too. If they truly admire my work, they would click the description and follow me elsewhere. I’m very lucky to also be in a realm where Americans in general would NEVER follow me, so I eliminate about 10% of the trolls in the world.
  1. A major dream I’m going to start telling people about and asking for some help with is . .
  • Be careful with WHO you share your dream with though.

Podcast

Honor Thy Struggle – Performance Prompts

Practice 1: Honor the Struggle


When you have the opportunity to learn and serve, you don’t complain about the effort involved. View struggle as a necessary, important, and positive part of your journey so that you can and true peace and personal power. Don’t bemoan the inevitable hardships of self-improvement and chasing your dreams; have reverence for challenge. – Brendan Burchard

Performance Prompts

  1. A struggle I’ve been facing in my life is . . .
  2. The way I could change my view of this struggle is . . .
  3. If something great could come from this struggle, it would be . . .
  4. The way I choose to greet life’s inevitable hardships from today forward is . . .

Podcast

Stop Looking Externally/Look Internally

You guys all know the story. I’ve been denied over 200 jobs in Thailand for my skin tone. Over the past week, I had been applying for jobs — and with my resumé, I should’ve at least been called in for an interview. But because this is Thailand — not so. 

My friend Deeptha said, “Arsenio, stop playing small. You have a global business with global listeners!”

I said, “ok, no more looking externally and look internally.”

Over the past 8 days, I’ve gotten three clients off Spotify search engines and lots of praise from listeners. 

STOP PLAYING SMALL, PEOPLE!

Podcast

Increasing Performance Necessity Prompts

Welcome back! We have some ways of increasing your performance in the prompts down below!

  • Three things I want to become extraordinarily good at doing are…..

Speaking. This is already fantastic, but my goal is to have at least 3 speaking engagements a year. This is something I wanted to achieve at the beginning, but then obviously COVID happened and stopped many things from unfolding. However, my podcast has already prepared me for profound greatness, so I’m very excited about what’s going to happen next. Another thing is being a high-performance coach. That’s right, on top of business and personal development, I would like to be a coach, in this sector, but in the central and south Americas. Thus why I have to take up learning Spanish. And the last thing would being the best IELTS/TOEIC/TOEFL ITP/IBT coach in the world. I will ultimately be out the big brands (such as what’s happening already), and I really want to be that go-to person in this field. When people think “I need help,” I want my blog and podcast to be the first one in search engines.

  • My why” for becoming excellent in each of these areas are….

This is all part of my passion.

  • The people I will tell……

Mira and Deepth

  • Some ways I can remind myself these important “why” and goals are…..

Because this life is no longer about me, but more about who I’m serving. Of course to be the best server I will take care of myself in so many ways…and I will always serve me first. No more going after short-term economics. I need to take the quantum leap.

Podcast

The Arsenio Buck Perspective | Personal Development | Official Patreon Launch!

Yay! For my long-time followers, I’ve finally created a Patreon! This Patreon, priced at $5 a month, will feature Early Access podcasts, exclusive content, interviews, and a community of accountability to help expedite your journey in becoming the best version of YOU! This is going to be great for a lot of you, and since some of you have come to me asking how you can give back to what I’ve delivered, now’s your chance to be part of an amazing community!

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Patreon

The Question to Ask Yourself In The Shower Every Morning…

What can I do today that will make me excited?

Just a couple days ago, I knew that I was going to wake up in the morning to go on my city-run. What is that? Well, first 1.5 km is quiet, with only a few passerbys and things to maneuver around. Once I get to the intersection, I cross over a skytrain bridge, make a left, and then it begins. I’m running on the road, weaving through people, rapping aloud and generating crazy energy. By the time I pass the two stations and hundreds of people, I have to go through a narrow passageway, cross another busy street, and go up Saphan Taksin Bridge, one of the biggest bridges in Bangkok. There’s no stopping there. There are tons of cars and people watching my crazy black ass run, so then I up the ante and power over Chao Phraya River. Once I reach the end, I go back down, and then there are even more people, more traffic, and more ways to generate energy. This continues until I go full speed ahead about 1.5 km later and finish off my run with onlookers looking at me in awe.

That — right there — makes me excited. Knowing that I have the ability to inspire people with my grimacing and willing to push myself to the physical limit.

This gets me excited.

Also, planting seeds in the morning. What does that mean? Well, if you plant a seed in soil and water it everyday, it will soon blossom, right? You’re not exactly sure when, but you know the time will come. This could be posting something in a Facebook group to generate more lead clients, having people come onto my podcast, connecting with people on LinkedIn or IG (both two very difficult places to do so), etc. I realized, and through all the books I’ve read, that I need to act on my worries. If I’m worried about money, there’s no use sitting there, worrying about it. I apply for jobs. Just yesterday, I found an awesome tutoring website in which I created an online profile for to become a tutor. Hundreds of students around the world looking for specific tutors to help them with particular subjects. Because I’ve taught for years and I’m the best in my specific fields, I created a profile and I’m now just waiting to be approved. This is going to be HUGE because I didn’t even know a website like that existed!

So, that was in the evening! I know that everything will eventually fall into place, but the mornings are so important!

Podcast

Complaints from Consumers? Oh, Please!

So, over the past couple weeks, and if you guys don’t already know, I had been doing free consultations by reaching out to people on a Facebook page. Unbeknownst to me, I had received maybe 100 comments. Half of them weren’t series because I had messaged them, sent a voice note, but no response. Other people booked the calendar but never showed up….but about 30% of them did.

Now, the problem with takers are they are just there to consume. It’s not about receiving an ovation and external validation, but even when you help them and they achieve your score, they wouldn’t tell you that they achieved their score but rather give themselves all the credit for achieving the score without mention.

Again, not so much about external validation, but very disheartening.

This is what happens when you stick your head in places where people don’t know you, right?

So, there was an unruly one who had always booked consultations at 8pm at night. Me, being an early bird, closed my 8pm time-slots a number of times but he was still able to book it. So, here was the second-time-coming and without contacting him, I was already over the consultations. There was no ROI, other than recording some voices and posting them throughout the rest of the year. It’s not that I had expectations — but maybe I did, because I ended up being very disappointed with these people in the end. They would take from me, achieve the score, then post saying they did it on their own.

I had about 2 consultations left, and to be honest, I was just going to cancel them and not show up because I already knew the story. The last consultation I have (although there’s one more from a girl in Nigeria but Africans have a tendency of NEVER SHOWING UP)….I said “fuck it. Who cares.” But when you have a brand and an online persona, it’s very important to cancel.

I had my Whatsapp number on my FB page and got a direct message from my phone, again, from the angry taker, and so there really isn’t much left to be said. But what did I learn from this? Obviously to cancel all remaining appointments with takers. But two, protect the brand. Regardless of my personal feelings, I need to hurry up, cancel, and let him be angry. The scary part about it is perhaps he would tag my page in the group stating “he didn’t give me a free consultation”…..and then in that community, what happens then? I have to be very careful about how I go about things because it could be a disaster.

And what did I learn from the entire process of just giving, giving, giving with no ROI? Don’t stick your head into groups on Facebook that have people without money. I was able to attract people just by sharing my content. If people are interested and serious, my content would speak for itself and they would inquire about services that way. If they’re not serious and are there for taking, just say “offering free……”. All the takers will come flooding in wanting the free.

What did I learn, stop reaching out to the “people with no money” market and help people who are deserving of your services, are super fans, and appreciate all that you’ve done. It’s not about the external validation, but it is infuriating to see people ignore the fact that you helped them for an hour, only to post on their Facebook page the achievements and completely ignore you.