The Desire Map | Declare Your Core Desired Feelings

We’re back and it’s time for the declaration of your core desired feelings! I’m not exactly sure if this should’ve gone before or after, but understand that word blessings will be this Friday, so declaring them now is ok, and remember that you can always add and subtract if needed because more exercises will be coming

Live from the heart.

As Carl Jung put it, “Only the dreamer knows the dream.” You know what your Core Desired Feelings are. The meaning of each word or phrase is for you to own and interpret. It does not have to fit a formula. It doesn’t have to be workable or realistic for anyone else—not even your best friend or therapist. Feel your feelings. Aim.

Guidance

Of your short-listed feeling words, which words make you feel: Expansive and energized?
Grounded and peaceful?
Home and blessed?

Reminder, the definition of a Core Desired Feeling: Your Core Desired Feelings are how you want to feel most of the time—your most preferred states of being. They’re life-affirming feelings—positive and expansive. They’re qualities of the heart—expressions of love and vitality. Your Core Desired Feelings move you toward your Highest Self—to joy, inclusivity, and generosity.

Authenticity: Apply this question to the words you’re most attracted to:

What is [insert potential Core Desired Feeling] really about for me? For example, maybe “confidence” is really about feeling empowered, or elegant, or maybe it’s about respect. Maybe “success” is really about freedom, or love, or being collaborative. Maybe “beautiful” is really about connection or radiance . . .

If you want to keep more than five feelings, go right ahead. If seven is your lucky number, then choose seven words for luck. Fewer words might help you get better results because fewer is much easier to recall, but doing this in a way that works for you is what’s most important.

Make your selections! Choose your four or five Core Desired Feelings— and shine. This is the moment. I’m thinking of you right now, sending love, and whispering into your ear: Core . . . Desired . . . Feelings.

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The Desire Map | Past & Present Feelings

Recall some moments, events, happenings in your life where you felt not so great—IN THE PAST and PRESENTLY. Weighed down, stuck, at a loss. Of course, there are spectrums of what “negative” feelings mean for each of us. That can range from getting a nasty comment on social media to your divorce, or from having your car towed to physical and emotional trauma—from slightly painful to serious impact. It’s up to you what you want to identify as “negative.” You don’t need to drill to the depths of your psyche unless you’re moved to go there. This can simply be about a few times when you just did not feel how you would have liked to in the particular situation. 

As for the present negatives in your life, the simple and evocative question is: What are you tired of feeling? What feeling do you most certainly not want to be experiencing? 

Refer to your What’s Not Working list.

Then….

Recall some moments, events, happenings in your life where you felt good—IN THE PAST and PRESENTLY. Joyful, alive, present, loving. What were you/are you doing where you felt/are feeling like your best self? Say . . . getting regular exercise, being in nature, learning about something you loved, spending time with your best friend. What memories and moments of your life helped/are helping you to experience joy and happiness? 

Beside each instance, write down as specifically as possible, how you were/ are feeling.

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Self-scoring 7 Habits Assessment | P/PC Balance

Here’s another great assessment for you to do to figure out if you have balance. Again, is work-life balance a myth? NOPE! It’s entirely up to you to be able to put your schedule together, to clear time out for loved ones, etc.

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Sharing Your Ambitions Performance Prompts

Practice 2: Share Your Truth & Ambitions


The main motivation of humankind is to be free, to express our true selves and pursue our dreams without restriction—to experience what may be called personal freedom. Follow this impulse by consistently sharing your true thoughts, feelings, needs, and dreams
with other people. Do not play small to placate others. Live your truth. – Brendan Burchard

Performance Prompts

  1. Something I really want to do that I haven’t shared with enough people is . . .
  • Traveling, starting that business, taking that leap of faith, committing to that passion. Put it out there….
  1. If I were going to be more “me” in my everyday life, I would start to . . .
  • Since living in Thailand, I realized that regardless of what I do, I will always be just “black” or “bad” through the eyes of Thais — not only Thais but Asians on the continent of Asia in general. So, that enabled me to establish me and live ME everyday.
  1. When I put myself out there and someone makes fun of me, I’m just going to . . .
  • Critical. YouTube is troll city. Are you ready for people to judge you? What criticism will you accept? Will you respond to no-face trolls out there? This is why I turned off ALL COMMENTS on my YouTube because it shows I don’t give a fuck about anyone’s opinion. I’ve turned off likes, too. If they truly admire my work, they would click the description and follow me elsewhere. I’m very lucky to also be in a realm where Americans in general would NEVER follow me, so I eliminate about 10% of the trolls in the world.
  1. A major dream I’m going to start telling people about and asking for some help with is . .
  • Be careful with WHO you share your dream with though.

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The Question to Ask Yourself In The Shower Every Morning…

What can I do today that will make me excited?

Just a couple days ago, I knew that I was going to wake up in the morning to go on my city-run. What is that? Well, first 1.5 km is quiet, with only a few passerbys and things to maneuver around. Once I get to the intersection, I cross over a skytrain bridge, make a left, and then it begins. I’m running on the road, weaving through people, rapping aloud and generating crazy energy. By the time I pass the two stations and hundreds of people, I have to go through a narrow passageway, cross another busy street, and go up Saphan Taksin Bridge, one of the biggest bridges in Bangkok. There’s no stopping there. There are tons of cars and people watching my crazy black ass run, so then I up the ante and power over Chao Phraya River. Once I reach the end, I go back down, and then there are even more people, more traffic, and more ways to generate energy. This continues until I go full speed ahead about 1.5 km later and finish off my run with onlookers looking at me in awe.

That — right there — makes me excited. Knowing that I have the ability to inspire people with my grimacing and willing to push myself to the physical limit.

This gets me excited.

Also, planting seeds in the morning. What does that mean? Well, if you plant a seed in soil and water it everyday, it will soon blossom, right? You’re not exactly sure when, but you know the time will come. This could be posting something in a Facebook group to generate more lead clients, having people come onto my podcast, connecting with people on LinkedIn or IG (both two very difficult places to do so), etc. I realized, and through all the books I’ve read, that I need to act on my worries. If I’m worried about money, there’s no use sitting there, worrying about it. I apply for jobs. Just yesterday, I found an awesome tutoring website in which I created an online profile for to become a tutor. Hundreds of students around the world looking for specific tutors to help them with particular subjects. Because I’ve taught for years and I’m the best in my specific fields, I created a profile and I’m now just waiting to be approved. This is going to be HUGE because I didn’t even know a website like that existed!

So, that was in the evening! I know that everything will eventually fall into place, but the mornings are so important!

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Complaints from Consumers? Oh, Please!

So, over the past couple weeks, and if you guys don’t already know, I had been doing free consultations by reaching out to people on a Facebook page. Unbeknownst to me, I had received maybe 100 comments. Half of them weren’t series because I had messaged them, sent a voice note, but no response. Other people booked the calendar but never showed up….but about 30% of them did.

Now, the problem with takers are they are just there to consume. It’s not about receiving an ovation and external validation, but even when you help them and they achieve your score, they wouldn’t tell you that they achieved their score but rather give themselves all the credit for achieving the score without mention.

Again, not so much about external validation, but very disheartening.

This is what happens when you stick your head in places where people don’t know you, right?

So, there was an unruly one who had always booked consultations at 8pm at night. Me, being an early bird, closed my 8pm time-slots a number of times but he was still able to book it. So, here was the second-time-coming and without contacting him, I was already over the consultations. There was no ROI, other than recording some voices and posting them throughout the rest of the year. It’s not that I had expectations — but maybe I did, because I ended up being very disappointed with these people in the end. They would take from me, achieve the score, then post saying they did it on their own.

I had about 2 consultations left, and to be honest, I was just going to cancel them and not show up because I already knew the story. The last consultation I have (although there’s one more from a girl in Nigeria but Africans have a tendency of NEVER SHOWING UP)….I said “fuck it. Who cares.” But when you have a brand and an online persona, it’s very important to cancel.

I had my Whatsapp number on my FB page and got a direct message from my phone, again, from the angry taker, and so there really isn’t much left to be said. But what did I learn from this? Obviously to cancel all remaining appointments with takers. But two, protect the brand. Regardless of my personal feelings, I need to hurry up, cancel, and let him be angry. The scary part about it is perhaps he would tag my page in the group stating “he didn’t give me a free consultation”…..and then in that community, what happens then? I have to be very careful about how I go about things because it could be a disaster.

And what did I learn from the entire process of just giving, giving, giving with no ROI? Don’t stick your head into groups on Facebook that have people without money. I was able to attract people just by sharing my content. If people are interested and serious, my content would speak for itself and they would inquire about services that way. If they’re not serious and are there for taking, just say “offering free……”. All the takers will come flooding in wanting the free.

What did I learn, stop reaching out to the “people with no money” market and help people who are deserving of your services, are super fans, and appreciate all that you’ve done. It’s not about the external validation, but it is infuriating to see people ignore the fact that you helped them for an hour, only to post on their Facebook page the achievements and completely ignore you.

Transformation Tuesday | Are Your Expectations Too High?

Because I’m service-minded, I never go into situations with expectations. However, I felt myself feeling very down as of late and wasn’t sure why. I try pinpointing the emotions, such as perhaps the fallout of what had happened at the upcountry job — no. Finances — no. Friends — no….that has improved significantly.

So what was it? It was that my expectations were too high then I felt like I was not only appreciated, but felt like I was giving service with nothing in return. It was a frustrating experience, until I did my Facebook live last night and felt a million times better. Not only that, I woke up this morning with a clear conscience. Then I knew, “ok, you’re back. Let’s get it.”

Here’s the podcast!

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Stephen Covey’s 8th Habit | Season 6 – Episode 26 | Developing Mental Intelligence

Here

  • Continuous, systematic, disciplined study and education
  • Cultivation of self-awareness
  • Learning by teaching and doing

All of which will be covered in today’s podcast.

“What is the impact on the spirit when we stop learning? The conscience first becomes numbed, then dulled, and finally silenced, because it constantly tells us to learn and to grow. We lose both a sense of vision in life and the struggle to find our voice, both of which are primary sources of our passion in life. We find the wisdom literature boring and uninspiring, even irrelevant.” – Stephen Covey

“Self-awareness involves all four intelligences and is a unique human endowment. It’s essentially another word for the space between stimulus and response—the space where you can pause and then make a choice or decision.
Cultivating self-awareness by trying to understand and make explicit our underlying assumptions, theories and paradigms is without any question one of the highest leverage activities we can be involved in. Because we are always making assumptions and because they are very implicit (we are unaware that we are making them), by making them explicit, we can make huge quantum leaps. We can learn to think outside the box.”

Excerpt From: Stephen R. Covey. “The 8th Habit.” Apple Books.

Wheel of Life | August 2020 Edition | Be That Butterfly

The Wheel of Life is back! Not sure how many years I’ve been doing this for, but surely sometime 2016 is when the Wheel of Life was officially launched. Guys, I love reviewing my month and seeing what went wrong.

Before I get into it, check out these categories below and rate them on a scale 1-10.

  • Personal development
  • physical environment
  • health
  • wealth
  • career
  • fun & hobbies
  • family and friends
  • romantic relationships

When you rate them, be honest. No lying. Because the only way for improvement is figuring out what isn’t work and what you need to change.

If I had rated my physical environment at the beginning of this month, I hated my job upcountry. The dirt roads, the shitty apartment that was loud, the neighborhood, my job in general, the people I worked with and the work I was doing. Sure, I got a salary to get out of the hole I was in, but that wasn’t passionate work. So, I had to leave, and so I did. My Physical Environment went from a 3 — back to a 10. You have to be honest and confront what’s NOT WORKING.

The rest in my podcast down below!

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Stephen Covey’s 8th Habit | Season 6 – Episode 24 | Developing the Intelligence – The Physical

It’s time to talk about the physical! For those of you who already know, I’ve talked about personal development a number of times throughout my podcasts and over the years. I’ve switched my routine up on a consistent basis to find what works best and how I can maximize my performance. Well, let’s get into it!

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