Restoring Societal Trust

Restoring trust on the societal level means rebuilding trust in countries, institutions, industries, professions, and in other people generally. it includes counteracting suspicion and cynicism and replacing it with contribution, value creation, and ethical behavior.

Stephen M. Covey

Wow, kind of a big one, right? I mean how can we rebuild trust in institutions? They’ve been milking citizens for years while putting them in heavy debt.

How about countries? Can I restore trust in Thailand? Well, with proper documentation, no one has the right to ask me about any form of documentation unless I’ve done something wrong.

Professions? Tough to restore trust in teachers because I know the “teachers” here have a more insidious agenda. If I go back to the Americas, I know that the majority of them perpetuate bullying and they also perpetuate bad education (or maybe old education that is no longer suitable for a rapidly changing society).

What we can control, though….

Contribution: regardless of everything that has happened to you and the things you’ve gone through both in the education realm and living in countries where you’ve been marginalized, make a contribution. If you believe something needs to be addressed, fill the need.

Value Creation: I was recently listening to Jay Shetty when he was on stage at MindValley’s A-Fest and he talked about creating value through education, but also have a deeper meaning that’s involved within his content. Very powerful stuff. How can you create value, for free, and plant the seeds today so that they can blossom tomorrow?

When You have Lost the Trust of Others

Whether you lose the trust of others through a conscious act of betrayal, poor judgement, an honest mistake, a failure of competence, or a simple misunderstanding, the path to restoration is the same — to increase your personal credibility and behave in ways that inspire trust.

Sometimes the only way to win back is by ACTION. It’s like when you don’t keep an agreement with your spouse, children, or friends in general. If you consistently betray their trust by cancelling on a consistent basis, what will ultimately happen is “daddy always says this but he does something else.”

When that happens, you need to make commitments and agreements to yourself — in MICRO. Sometimes massive steps are just too much and it’s often times the bain of all existence. If you can take out bite-size chunks, you will be able

However, understanding how trust was lost in the first place is an important key to understanding how to apply the Cores and Behaviors in attempting to restore it. Generally speaking, a loss of trust created by a violated of character (Integrity or Intent) is far more difficult to restore than a lost of trust created by a violation of competence (Capabilities or Results). Violations of Integrity are the most difficult of all to restore in all relationships, whether they are personal, family, professional, organizational, or in the marketplace.

Keep in mind that when you talk about restoring trust, you’re talking about changing someone else’s feelings about you and confidence in you. And that’s not something you can control. You can’t force people to trust you. You can’t make them have confidence in you. They may be dealing with other issues in their own lives that make the challenge more difficult for them. Or they may have interpreted a breach of competence on your part as a breach of character, which significantly complicates the issue. The point is that you can only do what you can do. If you’re not able to restore trust in a particular situation or relationship, by strengthening your Cores and making habits of the Behaviors, you will increase your ability to establish or restore trust in other situations and relationships throughout your life.

Staycation: Marriott Marquis, First Big Presentation

Wow! So many mixed feelings, so let’s dive into this — step-by-step.

I had my first ever big presentation today and it was life transforming. The amount of inspiration injected into younger generations, figuring out niche markets, developing podcasts/YouTube channels for the younger generation and doubling-down on what everyone is good at. On a scale 1-10, I give my presentation an 8, just because I knew I was repeating some words. Nonetheless, let’s go into this unbelievable stay in Bangkok…little by little.

Marriott Marquis Queens Park

This hotel is the best — period. What I love about major hotel brands is that they have people from all over the world working there. You had westerners, along with Taiwanese, Chinese, Singaporeans and Filipinos (and I’m sure a bunch more) working at this hotel. What I love so much was the service. The Filipino woman, although she was a bit oblivious to a few things, had magnificent service. Not only her, but the doormen, staff, cleaners, and just about everyone. SOLID. Suit-wearing gentlemen who are more than willing to help. The lobby was incredibly massive with well-dressed people everywhere. Seeing flight attendants come in was also just SO AMAZING. Keep in mind, this was a 200+ USD a night hotel, so you would and should expect the best. The room was extra cozy with a massive rainshower and tile placed throughout — also, USB outlets are now installed in most high-class hotels around the world, too. You don’t have to worry about having a “universal charge” or anything. Just solid all the way down.

Presentation

What a beautiful thing. I shared it a day after the presentation on my social media and it blew up. 576 views in a couple days. I’m so excited about what’s to come. Before the presentation, I wasn’t too nervous. I was waiting for people to go in, then I saw that the size was very small, so I was pretty content, considering that shit was my first overseas presentation. After that, I took the stage and all the nervousness went away. It’s natural for me, and my ability to overcome stage-fright was a hairflip. Following that were handshakes, cards exchanged, an offering to collaborate and a few other things. All in all, this was a remarkable 24 hours and definitely the ultimate highlight of my year. What comes after? Oh, that’s when the FUN begins!

Stephen Covey’s Smart Trust Matrix Zones

Zone 1 (High Propensity to Trust; Low Analysis) is the “Blind Trust” zone of gullibility. It’s the Pollyanna approach where people blissfully trust everyone. This is where we find those “suckers who are born every minute” — those people who are a sure bet to fall for Internet, marketing, investment, and other scams.

Fyre Festival Scam

One of the biggest scams in the world. This was a shame. Rich charlatans from America went on a journey to the Bahamas with promise that this particular festival would be the greatest ever. Instead, they were introduced to refugee tents, cheese sandwiches, wet beds, and no water — including loss luggage and dozens of other things.

Hey, it happens. But shortly after, they received emails about “VIP Ticket New York,” a scammer by the name of Frank, who was offering them tickets for events that didn’t even exist. He ended up selling 15 tickets priced at 100K USD each…scamming them out of 1.5 million dollars. It was so repulsive to see, but the gullibles will never learn, unfortunately.

Zone 2 (High Propensity to Trust; High Analysis) is the “Smart Trust” zone of judgement. This is where you combine the propensity to trust with the analysis to manage risk wisely. this is where you get both good business judgment and good people judgment — including enhanced instinct and intuition.

Zone 3 (Low Propensity to Trust; Low Analysis) is the “No Trust” zone of indecision. People here tend not to trust anyone. Because their own analysis is low, they tend to not even trust themselves.

Zone 4 (Low Propensity to Trust; High Analysis) is the “Distrust” zone of suspicion. This is where you find people who extend trust very cautiously or not at all. In fact, some are so suspicious that they do not trust anyone but themselves.

So, there’s a tremendous risk in Zone 1. If you unquestioningly trust everyone, you will sooner or later get burned.

Zone 3 is a wipeout. With poor and low in both areas, you’re going to get the worst of both worlds.

The biggest surprise is Zone 4. While it may sound low risk because you’re keeping the trust for yourself, this is actually one of the highest risk zones of all. When you’re highly suspicious, you tend to try to validate everything, to analyze everything to death — which ends up decreasing speed and cost.

Podcast

10-Year Anniversary (First Time Traveling Abroad)

When I clicked “book flight” and got the confirmation, it felt as if my heart fell not only to my stomach, but right out of my body in general. I recall the moment when my mother was walking across the living room and I said, “hey, so I’m going to Australia.”

She said nothing but a head-shake.

Was this a good sign? Didn’t matter. It was what Arsenio wanted.

This trip was a concoction of so many emotions, gifts, overcomings, gratitude, seeing kangaroos, and seeing an entire new world that I never thought existed. This was beauty at a grand scale. This was waking up in the morning to the aroma of my mother’s pancakes. This was seeing money in the bank for the first time in 2005. Hell, this was greater than any of those things.

From the accents on the plane, to landing in Brisbane, Australia, to speaking to a Chinese-Australian for the first time. I was so in-the-moment. I was in awe, looking around and taking a glance at everything around me. Remember, this coming from a guy who’s only been to two deserts before in his life (and Cedar City, Utah, not much else to say about that).

Throughout those ten days: blue mountains, best hot chocolate in the world, best Belgian chocolate in the world, Darling Harbour, crazy nights out, romantic dinner (although that failed) and a surprise booking of a hotel with a girl who I was trying so hard to be with (but wanted nothing from me). When I left, I cried. I was sad, broken, so many things….I didn’t know if I could move to Australia, but with perseverance, I did. Sadly enough, the girl who I was pursuing cheated on me; and with the worst rude awakening, entered a year-long abusive relationship with another man.

Me, on the other hand, moved to Australia two years later and started one of those memorable journeys of my life (and still continues today). Tune in for the entire podcast down below!

Stephen Covey’s “Smart Trust” Matrix

We’re back with another blog, although it’s been a long time making personal development blogs! Much apologies, but here’s an excellent Matrix, along with my explanation, in the podcast down below.

Learning how to extend “Smart Trust” is a function of two factors — propensity to trust and analysis — which are juxtaposed on the matrix.

“Propensity to Trust” is primarily a matter of the heart. It’s the tendency, inclination, or predisposition to believe that people are worth of trust and a desire to extend it to them freely.

The degree to which you have this tendency may be due to your inherent personality, to the way important people in your life have (or have not) trusted you, or to your own experience (good or bad) in trusting others — or, most likely, to a combination of these factors.

“Analysis” is primarily a matter of the mind. It’s the ability to analyze, evaluate, theorize, consider implications and possibilities, and come up with logical decisions and solutions. Again, the degree to which you have “strong analysis” may be due to a variety or combination of factors, including your natural gifts or abilities, your education and the way you think, your style, and/or your life experience.

As you think about these two factors — propensity to trust and analysis — how would you rate yourself on each? Do you typically tend to trust people easily, or do you tend to be suspicious and hold things close? Do you tend to analyze, theorize, and ponder over thing — or do you give problems your cursory attention and then move on?

To what degree do you think your present tendencies add to or reduce your ability to extend “Smart Trust?”

Podcast

Wheel of Life: July 2019 Edition – TAKE OFF!

Damn, about DAMN time! I mean, having about 300$ to my name (and I’m not saying that embarrassingly, either) was rough. Looking back and saying to myself, “I had x amount in my account and had to bitch at a part-time employer to pay me on-time). This was such a monster, and to be able to weather a storm like that, I’m super grateful.

It was the last little bit of indirect hell that I imposed on myself. I can sit here and complain to one of my branches for not giving me any work, or I can just fess up and say “I allowed this to happen.”

I asked myself, “how can I make more money?”

With a great question comes a series of answers. I ended up making one of my highest salaries in two years (in a single month) and now I’m out of the rut and focusing on what’s important; not to mention that I finally got my visa. No more quick fly-outs and being harassed my immigration officers. I’m now a FREE MAN and can begin traveling to countries I’ve never been to!

All in all, this was a series of dump-offs. This was a very tough month for me both financially and in terms of my brand. Being at the pinnacle and the face of a company and now having been betrayed, deceived, lied to and other things? How about Arsenio just works for himself?

Nonetheless, here’s my wheel of life. Here’s the official take-off. Deadweight has been released. Relationships, which should’ve been dead a long time ago, are officially dead. I dropped out of chat groups and I’ve unfriended people — on top of putting people into my ignore list, including a friend-turned-engaged woman.

Distractions. Too many. People lingering around. People talking to me and having my ear who shouldn’t. I needed to take everyone out, including my content writer. And now, on an entire new slate, I’m more focused and disciplined than ever before.

Wheel of Life

Welcome to the wheel of life, which is a wonderful technique that you can use on a monthly basis to evaluate your life in all areas. This is a great opportunity for you guys to figure out if you have strengths, weaknesses, problems, and writing out solutions to why particular categories are so low.

My monthly scores….

Personal Development — 10

Physical Environment – 9

Romantic Relationships – X

Friends & Family (mine is close circle) – 2

Health – 10

Wealthy – 8

Fun & Hobbies – 4

Career – 10

Podcast

Today’s Podcast

WHO do I need to BECOME?

When most people set out to achieve new goals, they ask, “Okay, I have my goal; now what do I need to do to get it?” It’s not a bad question, but it’s not the first question that needs to be addressed either. The question we should be asking ourselves is: “Who do I need to become?” You probably know some people who seem to do all the right things, but still don’t produce the results they want, right? Why not? One thing Jim Rohn taught me is: “if you want to have more, you have to become more. Success is not something you pursue. What you pursue will elude you; it can be like trying to chase butterflies. Success is something you attract by the person you become.”

Darren Hardy’s Compound Effect

Does that make sense? Personality, character, key attributes, attitudes, philosophies about live, etc.

When I had first moved here to Thailand, I didn’t once ask myself what “success” meant. I was just a drifter, hoping Thailand would steer me in the right direction (and it absolutely did). This isn’t something they teach in any shape or form in schools, universities, or any other scholastic division.

Some people love to reach out for success, and once they achieve the materialistic things they want, they’re still not content. Why? It’s about the process. It’s about who you become. It’s about about the journey. Chasing success is like chasing butterflies, like Jim Rohn has said. You’re never going to grab hold of it…but it’s more about the process.

When I first came here to Thailand, my skills were limited. I didn’t know about the “more you learn, the more you earn” slogan. I was oblivious to how everything worked in this country. Yes, there were and still are plenty of reasons why I don’t get jobs here (but I no longer look for jobs; they look for me), but when I started learning a variety of subjects and test preparation courses, the larger of a success I would become.

So, who do you have to become in your field of endeavor?

How to Build your brand

Building your brand. Talk task, right? Let’s start off with some basic questions.

  • Who do you want to be seen as online?
  • What is your message?
  • What is it you’re trying to build and help people with?

It’s always the “help.” Understand when you’re trying to become an entrepreneur, the moment you start thinking about your own pockets, you lose. The new wave of entrepreneurs seek to help people who are in need of something specific.

Brand Fundamentals

Depending on what country you’re on, be careful. I’m saying this because my brand online is known as The Arsenio Buck Show or anything Arsenio Buck. Now, can people defame me? Can they throw shame on my name? No, they have zero firepower, unless they are Thais bringing up things I said about 5 years ago — which I won’t apologize for (and in regards to the racism I’ve been through).

When it comes to Business Brand, there are some big questions I must address. If I quit a single job at a bank here in Thailand, how much can that hurt my name? Well, I would never be able to work for the company ever again because I’m using my name (brand) to work there. However, there isn’t a distaste when you actually hear the name Arsenio Buck. It’s more like, “oh, he’s the teacher that quit because he was sick of being treachered, two-faced and snowballed by everyone.” Not, “omg, he tried seducing his students,” (you’d be surprised what some nasty FOREIGNERS do here).

Nonetheless, if you already have a brand, here are some questions you need to ask.

  • Does my brand have Integrity? Do we have a reputation for honesty? Do we have values people believe in and can trust? Do we have a reputation in the market for courageously addressing tough issues quickly and for honestly admitting and repairing mistakes?
  • Does my brand demonstrate good intent? Are we perceived as simply “out to make a profit,” or do people feel that we genuinely care, that we want to help others win?
  • Does my brand demonstrate Capabilities? Do people associate our name with quality, excellence, continuous improvement, and the ability to change to maintain relevance in a global economy age? Are we recognized as having the ability to accomplish our objectives in ways that build trust?
  • Is my brand associated with Results? Do people feel we deliver what we promise? Is a good track record associated with our name? Are people willing to answer “yes!” ?

Podcast

Stephen Covey: Families are Trust Organizations, too!

We’re back with family organizations and the speed of trust! Everything I’ve talked about up to this point, in this chapter, applies just as powerfully to the family as it does to any other organization.

Families have greater trust when they are aligned, when they have structures and systems that recognize values and reward high-trust behavior, when they have symbols that communicate the paradigms that create high-trust relationships.

Stephen Covey

Food for thought…

The rewards system: When he wins a game, you have a huge celebration and take him out to dinner. When he brings home an A, you merely say, “Good job!”

The communication system: Every week you ask him excitedly, “when’s the next game?” You talk about his grades only once a quarter when report cards come out.

The decision-making system: Everything you do as a family is based on the next game, the next event. Grades are never a part of the decision.

The structure: Your son makes his own decisions relative to when he goes to bed, how much television he watches, and how much time he spends with his friends — regardless of his grades.

I thought this was super interesting. Although I’m not for grades or anything that pertains to academics, given the fact that everything can now be searched on google, but the fact that we put more focus on particular things then we do others. When a child, and as this particular child grows up, he ends up noticing that sports is more important than anything else, including family? Perhaps!

  • Does our family have Integrity? Are the values clear, and do rules and guidelines (structures and systems), and the behavior of the parents support those values? Is there an environment of honesty and humility? Do family members have the courage to express their ideas and opinions freely, and do they do so with respect?
  • Does our family have good intent? Have we structures a culture of respect and caring? Is the agenda mutual benefit, or is it just the adults, or children, who win? Do our systems reward cooperation?
  • What are our family’s capabilities? Does the structure provide for and encourage development and growth? Is it safe to learn by making mistakes? Are systems in place to help children develop the life skills they will need to succeed as adults?
  • What Results does our family produce? Are systems in place to create joy in shared accomplishment? Is there an abundance of rich interaction, support, and love? Are family members achieving important goals, both individually and as a family?

Podcast