Wheel of Life: June 2019 Edition – Back on my Feet

What a journey. April and May were significant hits and some of the most worrying times of my life. Thai officials threatening to ban me from the country because “I didn’t have a visa, and a lot of other things that culminated in regards to a Singaporean trip and work-related stress, such as lack of cash flow.

I told myself, “I’m not broke; I’m just having a cash-flow problem right now.”

Welcome to the wheel of life, June 2019….and in this blog/podcast I talk about (briefly) what has happened over the last month or so. Nonetheless, if you want to know what the wheel of life is, check this out.

Grade yourself in the following categories, 1-10, and see what areas you are lacking in.

  • Personal Development
  • Physical Environment
  • Health
  • Wealth
  • Career
  • Romantic Relationships
  • Family & Friends
  • Fun & Hobbies

I will write briefly about my wealth and the rest will be talked about in my podcast down below.

Wealth – 8

Just last month, I had given myself a whopping 3-4 in wealth, making it the worst score I’ve given myself in years. Why did this happen? Well, I could blame one branch (of my work) for not being fair with work allocation, but in this instance, I’m going to have to place blame on myself. I’m placing blame on myself for believing that one place was looking after me.

After teaching some private students, I had a phone call and another offering within a 10-minute span. The phone call gave me 14 teaching hours for the end of the month and the offering never went came through. Completely fine with that. But then other branches began coming to the rescue, a possible resuscitation of a relationship, and 3 workshops. Now, after getting an extremely expensive visa, I’m no longer “obligated” to leave the country, so now I can focus on paid content, increasing my savings, and investing.

Stephen Covey: The 7 Low-Trust Organizational Taxes – Turnover/Churn

Employee turnover represents a huge cost for organizations, and in low-trust cultures, turnover is in excess of the industry or market standard. I’m not talking about the desirable turnover of non performers, but the undesirable turnover of performers. Low trust creates disengagements, which leads to turnover — particularly of the people you least want to lose. Performers like to be trusted and they like to work in high-trust environments. When they’re not trusted, it’s insulting to them, and a significant number will ultimately seek employment where they’re trusted. This turnover also flows from the first two taxes.

Stephen Covey

I worked at a company outside of one of the popular, business district areas in Bangkok in the beginning of 2016. When I spoke to every teacher, each of them had only been there for less than 5 months. I said to myself, “oh, that’s not good.” Sure enough and after three private students, the CEO of the company said he wouldn’t allow me to teach TOEIC because I’m “black.” I quit the job, shortly after. After that, and for the next three years, this company has been consistently posting vacant jobs on a teaching website.

Churn

Churn is the turnover of stakeholders other than employees. When trust inside an organization is low, it gets perpetuated in interaction in the marketplace, causing greater turnover among customers, suppliers, distributors, and investors. This is becoming increasingly an issue as new technologies such as blogs continue to develop, effectively empowering employees to communicate their experience to the world.

Stephen Covey

When employees aren’t trusted, they tend to pass that lack of trust on to their customers, and customers ultimately leave. That’s the bottom line.

Podcast

Stephen Covey: The 7 Low-Trust Organizational Taxes – Redundancy & Bureaucracy

In regards to my last podcast, this somewhat relates. When you do redundant tasks and you’re often criticized about them, you would probably stop doing them any longer, right? When you’re supervised, overlooked, and then made the talk of town because “his grammar was bad” (although I intentionally did that because i hated writing those tasks), I no longer cared about management, garbage structures, bullshit control, or anything else. The tax and dividends had skyrocketed to a point it could no longer be reduced.

Redundancy is unnecessary duplication. Of course, redundant mission-critical systems and data management are necessary. But a redundancy tax is paid in excessive organizational hierarchy, layers of management, and overlapping structures all designed to ensure control. For the most part, it grows out of the paradigm that unless people are tighly supervised, they can’t be trusted. And it is very costly.

Stephen Covey

In some circumstances, rework and redesign might also be considered costs of redundancy that’s triggered by low-trust behavior. In software development, as much as 30-50 percent of expenditures can be on rework. In manufacturing, rework costs can often exceed the originally cost of producing the product.

Bureaucracy

Bureaucracy includes complex cumbersome rules, regulations, policies, procedures, and processes. It’s reflected in excessive paperwork, red tape, controls, multiple approval layers, and government regulations. Rather than focusing on continuous improvement and getting better, bureaucracy merely adds complexity and inefficiency — and costs — to the status quo.

Stephen Covey

Wheel of Life: May 2019 Edition – Weathering the STORM

Perhaps the storm of the century? After being stopped, for whatever reason it may have been (of course — it’s Thailand) at immigration, it threw my life into a whirlwind. I was scrambling to set up what should’ve been done last year. If it had fallen through, my time in Thailand would’ve been up. With determination and the willingness to get things done, I’m on the verge of finally solidifying myself on a visa needed to stay in the country and now I’m onto the next juncture in my life.

Nonetheless, this was the most emotionally exhausting few weeks since living here in Thailand (and certainly since 2014-2015). Take some steps back, reassess the situation, and execute if possible.

For those of you tuning in for the first time, the wheel of life cycle is a way of assessing my life over the last month in eight categories: personal development, physical environment, health, wealth, career, fun and hobbies, family and friends, and romantic relationships.

Wealth – 3

I’m going to cover just the ones that might be of importance for a lot of you. Some of you might be going through the same problems as me, yet you don’t know the solutions for getting over it. So, thi sone is especially for you all.

When everything began falling apart about a week ago, I had to take a step back and ask myself, “how can I make more money?” Robert Kiyosaki says if you say a statement, there’s nothing else you can do. It’s like quicksand that turn into cement.

Following that was a series of different occurrences. A lady, who I hadn’t spoken to in almost a year, called me out-of-the-blue. A few days later, I met with her an she offered me permanent, part-time work that enables me to get a decent, fall-back salary every month in case I don’t get work from my main job.

Ahhh, yes, the main job! On the verge of getting a visa and every salary this year has been head-scratching, to abhorrent. I cannot wait around and believe that people are going to fill my pockets. I had to go out and take, and that’s exactly what I did.

Family & Friends – 3

So, friends are gone. Yes, I met a friend while out there in Singapore, but after I came back, it’s been downhill. I must say that it’s quite funny when people try getting in touch with me again after x amount of weeks. A girl, who I had blocked because she was basically idolizing white men, sent me a message to my Facebook group. My content writer showed me the photo and I laughed. “Why come back now?” Unless it’s pure desperation, I won’t even think about messaging her back because there’s nothing to that friendship. It’s dead, history, archived.

Then, there was the weird situation where I met a samaritan from America at the base of my condo. After a few days, there was a message sent by him that was very…..peculiar. It was odd beyond belief. I didn’t quite understand it….to the point that I blocked him. That was so odd to the point that I was like, “whoa, how am I supposed to respond to a weird rant like that?”

Guys, dump those losers. Honestly, if they’re not feeding your roots or watering your plant, they’re looking for takeaway. When they get it, they’re going to leave anyway, so you might as well drop them from the beginning.

All in All

Let’s just say hypothetically speaking that everything goes the way it should. Now, living here in Thailand, nothing is perfect….but if all goes well today, and then all goes well next Thursday; 99% of my nervousness, anxiousness, and degree of worry will be expunged and done away with. When this happens, I’ll be able to refocus and reaffirm what’s really important in life.

Podcast

The Enlightenment Podcast: Season 1 – Episode 3 – Shayla Locklear on Email Marketing made EASY!

Amazing to have Shayla come onboard and share some unbelievably useful tips for Email marketing. These were absolutely GOLDEN! So, for those of you who are interested, check the shownotes down below, YouTube video or podcast!

Get in touch with Shylar Locklear

Links:

Things we discussed:

Is email marketing still working now?

How does a content creator (beginners) market on other platforms?

How does MailChimp help for email marketing?

Why email is important?

The real skill that an entrepreneur should have.

The similarities between entrepreneurship and online entrepreneurship.

How to write with finness.

How does a creator know who are subscribers and non-subscribers?

How do you build relationships with your subscribers?

Decision-making is important for entrepreneurship.

How to collect all followers on social media platforms and put them on an email list?

 

Thank you for listening!

Links:

  1. Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/thearseniobuckshow/
  2. Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thearseniobuckshow/?hl=en
  3. YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCIzp4EdbJVMhhSnq_0u4ntA
  4. Podcasts: https://www.spreaker.com/user/thearseniobuckshow, https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/the-arsenio-buck-show/id1181794790?mt=2, https://open.spotify.com/show/0x39CEN5tHvfRtfZaAMTgQ?si=8cpdu1rTTjKHogufXh91Cw
  5. Website: https://thearseniobuckshow.com/

Twitter: https://twitter.com/arseniobuckshow?lang=en

The Biggest Thing Most Podcasters Do Wrong? 21 Questions

There’s one individual, who’s extremely tactful (and won’t name), who boasts his earnings, mentors, people making money, millionaires, blah blah blah. I don’t really care about that….I care about how are you pushing humanity forward. Entrepreneurs, as egotistical as they are, are shoulder shrugs and just a shade of what they could really be. Some entrepreneurs are philosophers, others are just people trying to make money to cover up their insecurities by buying garbage that they don’t need.

Some podcasters are simply that….podcasters. They’re not really into the personal development realm, nor do they know much about it. They’re just based on 21 questions.

  • What was holding you back from becoming an entrepreneur?
  • What’s the best piece of advice you’ve ever received?
  • What’s a personal habit that contributes to your success?

These are questions that they ask. I got it, they’ve been doing it since 2010-2012, but how is that going to help the listener?

What’s holding you back as an entrepreneur is often the same reply — “other people’s opinions.”

What’s the best piece of advice you’ve ever received? Who cares? As a listener, how about “what’s the best piece of advice that you can give the listeners?”

What’s a personal habit that contributes to success? How about just having a conversation that loopholes into morning/nightly routines?

What is one thing you’re FIRED UP about today? See, these are 21 questions….get the drift? Something that could be formulating, kind of like synergy, could be completely lost when you ask a question that doesn’t relate to what was being said before. It’s like listening to Oprah, Ellen, or any host from T.V. They’re not really hearing you…they’re just asking a bunch of random questions, like TV show hosts do, and crack some jokes (like Ellen) in the process.

Authenticity

Over the last year or so, I stopped listening to most podcasts because I feel I get NOTHING out of them. An incredible host that I still listen to today is Pat Flynn. He’s extremely candid, laid back and almost has a personal/storytelling feel to it…all on top of getting some valuable tools out of a lot of his interviewees. Yes, he’s an entrepreneur. No, he doesn’t know much at all about personal development, but he helps his listeners.

Authenticity is being raw. Being real. David Mauro, who’s an author and speaker who scaled Everest (and the 6 other highest peaks on every individual continent), told a story. Such a riveting one — at that. This one acted as a disruptor and related to not only me, but so many of us out there. I took him on a journey…because I’m excellent at digging into the core of an individual. This is called being authentic.

Another Problem — Interruptions

This could be the biggest annoyance. Let me give you an example, having Tony Robbins and Gary Vee on AskGaryVee was super cringe. They constantly interrupted each other and talked over one another. Anytime you interrupt someone, you lack tact. Period. When you lack tact, you fit in with the billions of other men who also lack tact, and then your podcast becomes unbearable to listen to.

The Sum Up

Being real and talking about personal things that relate to your topic is the best way. I look at a lot of podcasters and they’re terrified to reveal the REAL them. Most podcasters try speaking about personal development, but in fact, they don’t know a goddamn thing about it. What they learn is what the hosts talk about. Some hosts are extremely boring and condescending, like the ones who have interviewed David Goggins.

You need to be unique. If you fit in with mediocrity, you’ll be just that. Please, don’t adopt what anyone else does and be like the rest because no one likes answering 21 questions. Some of my favorite podcasts I’ve taken off my phone because I really get nothing out of it. AUDIOBOOKS is where I learn a ton from, so listening to Rich Dad Poor Dad over and over is better than any podcast I’ve ever listened to, period.

Podcast

Holding Others Accountable + Trust Tips

It’s vastly important to understand how much accountability builds trust in culture. When leaders don’t hold people accountable, the opposite is true. People feel it’s unfair: “Well, look what he did….and he got off free!”

It creates a sense of disappointment, inequity, and insecurity. You see this a lot in families where discipline is inconsistent, where a parent will hold one child accountable and not another, or will hold a child accountable in one situation and not another.

The Fight

This was probably one of my most disappointing moments in my life (that relates to my family). For whatever reason, my brother approached me at band practice and tried fighting me. It was funny because I was just standing on the field, waiting for the instructor to hit the “go,” and then my brother said something blatantly rude, like he always does.

I was like, “huh?” And then I defended myself when he got completely belligerent. So, his friend at the time, who’s still the biggest asshole today, took him home before me so he can tell my mother what happened. I got home and both my mother and him teamed up on me. She literally listened to his story without hearing my side, even if she knew how manipulative he was. This is an example of her holding me accountable for something I didn’t do versus sitting us both down and saying, “hey, enough. What happened — happened. Get up stairs.”

Trust Tips

  • Listen to your language and to your thoughts. When things go wrong and you find yourself blaming or accusing others, stop. Draw back and ask yourself, How can I close the window and focus on the mirror? In your mind, compare the difference in establishing trust between an approach of blaming and pointing fingers versus an approach of taking personal responsibility.
  • At work, Practice Accountability by holding your direct reports accountable for their actions. Always clarify expectations first so that everyone knows what they’re accountable for and by when. When people account to you, allow them to evaluate themselves first against the results you’ve agreed upon (most people will be tough on themselves than you’ll be); then follow through with the agreed-upon or natural consequences of people performing (or not). Remember, the people you rely upon most in your company — the performers — like to be held accountable and want others to be held accountable, too.
  • Look for ways to create an environment of accountability in your home. Set up trust talks with your partner on matter you’ve agree to work together on, such as finances. Create agreements with your children concerning their responsibilities at home, and include consequences — both natural and logical, both good and bad. Follow through on your agreements. Give family members a person — and a culture — they can trust.

Trust Tips for Clarifying Expectations

A VERY AMAZING Thursday. A woman I used to work for invited me to an interview at a bank because she knew I could sell like crazy. She needed to give a presentation to four women and I was there looking at the every move of them.

When we sat in the room, we waited for about 10 minutes and then came in 4 women: no handshakes, eye-contact, hello, anything. Everything was forced, and then I felt a knot in my stomach, “oh, this isn’t going to be good.”

My ex-colleague, without small talk or anything, went straight into a formal presentation. This is scary because if you want to get a client, you shouldn’t do any speaking — only listening. She spoke for a solid 15 minutes without feedback and I watched the women across the table. Two young generation and two older. One in particular was very fidgety. In the first three minutes, I felt her mind had left the room. She was playing with her papers, phone, and looked as if she wanted to walk out. I felt embarrassed.

Just before that…

My ex-colleague told me that she hadn’t gotten any special projects because the competition is stiff. However, I don’t believe in competition…..you’re your own competition, and let me break this down.

As someone who wants to be heard (the client), they should do the talking in the beginning. Who cares about you, your track record, or your accolades. They need help, and you’re supposed to help them.

For the first 15 minutes, they were disengaged. They were given a ton of papers, and to add insult to injury, they were given the price quote (face palming the shit out of myself at this very moment). So what does this sound like? a win-lose situation. She was doing everything so structurally that she forgot this is supposed to be a win-win situation. Hell with the money, tell me how you can help us! — is what I would’ve said.

In the end, I was able to ask them straightforward what they wanted.

  • How to respond effectively, and with soft language, to complain emails.

See, instead of the presentation and given pre-courses, this is what she should’ve asked right out the gates, and that would’ve been a sure client. Because she didn’t, she was after the money and NOBODY likes money-grabbers because it’s a win-lose.

They opened up. They smiled. They laughed. She said, “what you guys have on the paper isn’t what we want.”

“It’s just the things that we offer,” I said. ” We create customizable courses for our clients to get maximum speed and cost from the training.”

Her eyes lit up.

Was it enough? Not sure, but if it was, it’s because I clarified expectations and everything in general.

Trust Tips

Reaching the “sweet spot” in Clarify Expectations takes Integrity (being honest and courageous about setting expectations and communicating with others). It takes Intent to create expectations that represent a “win” for all involved. It takes Capabilities, including the ability to organize the elements of the agreement, to set up accountability, and to execute with excellence. And it takes the ability to identify the desired Results in a way that everyone involved understands.

– When you communicate with others, recognize that clarity is power. One way of checking to see if your communication has been clear is to “check for clarity” by asking a few simple questions.

1) What have you understood from this conversation?

2) As a result of our interaction, what do you see as your next steps? What do you see as mine?

3) Do you feel that others are clear regarding expectations?

4) What can we do to make things more clear?

– The next time you have a project at work, create a clear project agreement in advance. If you’re in charge, call everyone together and encourage them to express any ideas and concerns. Work to come up with a clear agreement that is realistic and represents a win for all stakeholders.

Podcast

The Enlightenment Series: S1 – E2 – Carla Trigo on

It’s been a long time coming, but Carla and I finally had the opportunity to connect on a wonderful Facebook live (both in YouTube and podcast format) in a very captivating and enlightening chat about a wide variety of things. You guys are going to enjoy this. The topics, audio and video are down below!

Get in touch with Carla Riago from Spain

Links:

Things we discussed:

  • Introduction given by Carla Trigo about her work.
  • What is lifestyle design?
  • How does an individual redesign their lifestyle?
  • How do people breakout from the familiar trend?
  • How can people be more observant?
  • How did Carla start innovating?
  • What are things that help the guest as her blueprint for mind changing?
  • Journaling is a way for you to get rid of negative mindsets.
  • How to ask questions instead of giving statements.
  • How to have a better relationship by asking the right questions.
  • Reading and applying from what readers have read is an important skill.
  • What three steps should be taken by listeners?

Thank you for listening!

Links:

  1. Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/thearseniobuckshow/
  2. Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thearseniobuckshow/?hl=en
  3. YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCIzp4EdbJVMhhSnq_0u4ntA
  4. Podcasts: https://www.spreaker.com/user/thearseniobuckshow, https://open.spotify.com/show/7hdzplWx6xB8mhwDJYiP6f, https://www.buzzsprout.com/165390
  5. Website: https://thearseniobuckshow.com/
  6. Twitter: https://twitter.com/arseniobuckshow?lang=en

Arsenio’s ESL Podcast: International Guest Speaker: Andres of Puerto Rico

This was the most HONEST conversation I had in a decade, and it marked the first time that my friend Andre, who I’ve known for 20 years, and I went into some very dark places in terms of what we had done as children.

From the first days we met, to having multiple deaths in family and school, getting stuck on a mountain before being rescued, his big move to NY to get away from a family that was suffocating the life out of him, and confronting a father who abandoned him since he was a child.

Amazing.

International Guest Speaker Andre

Things we discussed:

  • Brief introduction given by Andre to the listeners and talked about the intrinsic meaning of ‘face the music’.
  • How he began learning English.
  • Some of the challenges that he needed to overcome.
  • The development of our friendship.
  • How we originally met.
  • Reconciliation and salvation.
  • His big move to the east coast and leaving everything behind in Las Vegas.
  • His relationship with his father.
  • Did he get the closure he wanted before his father’s passing?
  • Does the guest has any regrets?
  • Sharing their childhood experiences that shaped their outlook of life.
  • What is the guest’s advice for the listeners?
  • New York Slang.

Podcast

Thank you for listening!

Links:

  1. Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/thearseniobuckshow/
  2. Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thearseniobuckshow/?hl=en
  3. YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCIzp4EdbJVMhhSnq_0u4ntA
  4. Podcasts: https://www.spreaker.com/user/thearseniobuckshow, https://open.spotify.com/show/7hdzplWx6xB8mhwDJYiP6f, https://www.buzzsprout.com/165390
  5. Website: https://thearseniobuckshow.com/
  6. Twitter: https://twitter.com/arseniobuckshow?lang=en