Again, a comment on social media made my jaw drop in the wee hours of the morning. Some people are absolutely HYSTERICAL when it comes to the whole “what’s in it for me attitude, and I’m here to tell you that the Gary Vee Mindset needs to be completely destroyed.
Man, this was a gut punch. This is similar to the Wheel of Life, but normally with the Wheel of Life, I feel like I’m consistently on cloud 9. However, with this assessment, I realized that there are particular areas that I can be SO MUCH better in. This format will substitute the original Wheel of Life beginning next month, too!
Welcome to the second episode of transformation week! Rate yourself on a scale 1-10 and hear my scores in my podcast down below!
I regularly take care of myself so that I can feel my best. I want my overall physical and emotional health (my well-being) to be primed and optimized to make me feel energetic and strong each day. I strive to eat well, sleep well, and exercise so that I have the physical vibrancy and stamina to enjoy life and deal with its challenges and opportunities.
I keep a positive outlook and attitude. I’m cultivating a sense of joy and peace in my life so that I can experience positive emotions and relationships. I take care of myself by being mindful to the energy, focus, and emotions I really want to experience and generate in life.
If in a relationship: I feel a consistently deep, trusting, appreciative, soulful, loving connection with my significant other. I am patient, respectful, and attentive to my partner’s needs. If single: I live each day through my heart and demonstrate compassion and love for others.
I am present with my family. I am creating deep connection, fun and positive energy with the family members that I keep in contact with. It’s evident that I love my family and I’m doing my best for them. I try to forgive their mistakes and be compassionate with them.
My immediate social circle of friends brings connection, fun, and positive energy into my life. I seek out positive people and I do my very best to bring positive energy and real authenticity into all my relationships. I spend enough time with friends.
I feel clear, energized, and fulfilled by my work and contributions to the world. I believe my work or day’s effort adds real value and is a true reflection of my best efforts and contributions. I am truly engaged and excited by what I’m doing—it feels like a mission, calling, or purpose.
I plan special experiences—trips, adventures, nights out, time to connect or disconnect—so that I enjoy life. I give enough time to the things I love in life, including to my hobbies, interests, and non-work goals and adventures.
I feel connected to the present moment and vitally alive in my spirit. I am congruent with my beliefs and behaviors and I keep my faith and values at the forefront of my decisions and daily actions.
I am being responsible in how I spend my money. I’m saving money for my future. I’m learning the skills necessary to develop my ability to earn even more. I am happy with my lifestyle and allow myself to enjoy what I’ve built and earned.
I am curious and pay attention to the world around me so that I can learn new things. I ask questions. I seek to discover new things about myself and others. I have created a personalized curriculum for myself so that I can develop the skills needed to succeed.
Absolutely ECSTATIC about my first negative feedback. After teaching in the morning yesterday, I looked at my phone and realized someone, who I never met before, purchased my membership. I said, “omg! This is going to be AMAZING!” Shortly after, he said, “oh, I signed up through YouTube but I would like to have my money back because there’s nothing that interests me.”
It was a head-scratching, gut-punch moment. A number of things could’ve gone wrong, but I granted that request without hesitation.
I got home and realize that he did sign up for a badge that had a ton of content, 8 essay evaluations, two free hours of coaching and much more. a $250 bundle for just $50 a month. So, I quickly made a video on YouTube, telling everyone “listen, you guys don’t know who I am…so let me tell you.” This particular individual got so much back from my video that he clicked on the description, went to my membership, HAD TO READ the description, and purchased it. But somehow he missed the most critical aspects of it?
So, what went wrong? Obviously, it just wasn’t for him, but YouTube is also a market that doesn’t know me. They don’t know that I have a quarter-million download podcast and the number 1 TOEFL, IELTS, TOEIC podcast in the world on Spotify and Apple Podcasts. So I asked myself the first question.
1. How would my best self solve this situation?
2. How would my best self take this feedback to learn?
3. What could I do to avoid these types of refunds from happening again?
I got the message just minutes before noon, “due to the recent COVID outbreak, the company isn’t allowing outsiders on the premises. We will resume activities on May 5th.”
It was a gut-check and an idea that was played with by a friend of mine. “What if they stop?” she said. “No way!”……I retorted. But they did. So now what?
Well, anticipating bad news, bad days, things that might trip you up throughout the day, or even news like this will help you navigate these FEAR storms. Myself? I went proactive and executed follow-ups. Hear how you can allow your best self to show up during stressful times.
Each Core Desired Feeling is an expression of our true self. When we focus on generating a particular feeling, we’re animating an aspect of our truth.
This can be a really profound introspection. Essentially, we’re looking at how the attitude we’re holding intensifies or dilutes our desired feelings. We need to choose perspectives that help our Core Desired Feelings to emerge. In today’s podcast, we do just that.
FEELINGS inform THOUGHTS inform BEHAVIOUR. In this exercise we’re creating thoughts that support our feelings. What’s the “inner attitude” that will help you generate a particular feeling?
I feel Flow more when I’m thinking more optimistically. I feel Luminous more when I’m trusting in God. I feel Expansive more when I let go of my belief that I have to earn my keep . . .
(insert core desired feeling) requires me to be more . . .
(insert core desired feeling) requires me to be less . . .
So, in today’s episode/blog, we’re going to discuss what brings your Core Desired Feelings to life?
For example, Gaia, who I call the goddess or earth, is one of my Core Desired Feelings. It’s not because of the past, being completely destroyed and building myself up, it’s the fact that when I think of Earth, I feel like I’m absolutely part of it and invested in it.
So, Gaia LOVES TO work out because the feeling of becoming strong is essential to it’s being.
It ADORES nature, hearing birds, seeing giant lizards, communicating with birds, etc.
It feels joy when it’s at warp speed (running) because the feeling of freedom and growth is what it craves.
It REMEMBERS all of the hard times, but it only looks at it as lesson-based learning curbs, not part of it’s complete bio.
It wears things that makes it feel sexy.
It listens to all the molecules through its body and makes sure that they’re firing on all cylinders.
It EATS both healthy food, which is absolutely loves, but also craves the goodness of cuisine such as beef patties and pizza.
It moves with confidence because it knows that it shows up as its best self everyday.
It celebrates when it sees and feels growth, such as going to the gym and seeing the results.
It cherishes the times which it had felt weak for it was a plateau that needed to be left behind.
It protects the entire body by making sure it gets proper food, rest, meditation, and has the ever-glowing holistic spirit.
It gives grace to others who are also out to attain their inner-Gaia
And it delights in basking in the compliments that are ever-flowing.
Now, with that being said, write down your CDF’s and use the subject + verb to create sentences, such as what I did.
If your Core Desired Feeling was a character in your play . . .
Let’s bring more colour and texture to each of your CDFs. The more dimensional and vibrant each word is, the easier it will be to access as a feeling. You want to KNOW and call on that Core Desired Feeling like you would turn to a beloved friend.
What are the ESSENTIAL QUALITIES of each of your Core Desired Feelings?
Essential Qualities are the characteristics or the traits of that feeling—how it expresses itself in the world. Naming just a few qualities can help you root into your CDF.
Grounded = gets 8 hours of sleep. Doesn’t overschedule. Eats organic. Makes decisions with ease. Is deliberate. Surrounds oneself with nourishing people. Loves plants. Hikes. Simplifies.
Vitality = fresh water. Comedy shows. Prana breathing. New bright pillows. Sunday service. Functional medicine. Monthly support group. SMILES, hugs, leans in.
Or! You can write your CDF’s characteristics in a poetic and descriptive way:
Connection . . . is present and open. She’s a good friend. He looks for what’s lovable in everyone. Connection’s favourite word is “resonance.” She shares intimately and deeply—when she feels there is harmony and receptivity. Connection keeps in touch, plans celebrations, makes eye contact. Connection references its body for signals of the truth. He prays. She forms community. Connection plays. Connection thrives with some stillness and silence.
Sacred Feminine . . . is receptive and nourishing. Sacred Feminine receives like a trusting daughter and a graceful Queen. She loves to give her love. She/he is gentle. She is fierce and discerning. She gets to the heart of the matter. Sacred Feminine protects her loved ones. She dances a lot, eats flowers, upholds human dignity. She celebrates her pleasure. She stays close to nature, listens deeply, breathes through the heart. Sacred Feminine is a possibility thinker, feeling deeply, acting with loving kindness.
Ease . . . is the cousin of simplicity. Ease can let it go. Ease chooses the easiest way without compromising its standards. She can be very forgiving. He trusts that life is guiding him. Ease doesn’t give into time pressure—she can be brisk or she can languish, it depends on what feels easy in the moment. Ease is about being close to LIFE, and removing obstacles to that vitality.
Seriously, ask yourself….a year ago today, where were you? Stress and anxiety levels? Financially? Mentally?
Now, fast-forward to the present day. Please, I hope that you’re able to see the growth within you. Are you in control of your environment? Your mind? Finance? Or are you just WAITING for someone to save you?
We’re back and it’s time for the declaration of your core desired feelings! I’m not exactly sure if this should’ve gone before or after, but understand that word blessings will be this Friday, so declaring them now is ok, and remember that you can always add and subtract if needed because more exercises will be coming
Live from the heart.
As Carl Jung put it, “Only the dreamer knows the dream.” You know what your Core Desired Feelings are. The meaning of each word or phrase is for you to own and interpret. It does not have to fit a formula. It doesn’t have to be workable or realistic for anyone else—not even your best friend or therapist. Feel your feelings. Aim.
Of your short-listed feeling words, which words make you feel: Expansive and energized? Grounded and peaceful? Home and blessed?
Reminder, the definition of a Core Desired Feeling: Your Core Desired Feelings are how you want to feel most of the time—your most preferred states of being. They’re life-affirming feelings—positive and expansive. They’re qualities of the heart—expressions of love and vitality. Your Core Desired Feelings move you toward your Highest Self—to joy, inclusivity, and generosity.
Authenticity: Apply this question to the words you’re most attracted to:
What is [insert potential Core Desired Feeling] really about for me? For example, maybe “confidence” is really about feeling empowered, or elegant, or maybe it’s about respect. Maybe “success” is really about freedom, or love, or being collaborative. Maybe “beautiful” is really about connection or radiance . . .
If you want to keep more than five feelings, go right ahead. If seven is your lucky number, then choose seven words for luck. Fewer words might help you get better results because fewer is much easier to recall, but doing this in a way that works for you is what’s most important.
Make your selections! Choose your four or five Core Desired Feelings— and shine. This is the moment. I’m thinking of you right now, sending love, and whispering into your ear: Core . . . Desired . . . Feelings.
What you build on your self-value will be built to last.
This is a big ask, but let’s leap to it. Assume that you are already whole and worthy. You’re complete. You’re divine. You’re in. Embrace that Universal Truth and let’s work with self love and trust as our guidance system.
There’s the type of desire that flows from faith and self-valuing. It’s a desire that’s building on its worthiness and sense of the possible. It’s a desire that wants to go DEEPER and FULLER. That’s the energy that we want to bring to our Core Desired Feelings. That desire flows from your heart center.
The opposite of that healthy desire is ego-based wanting. We want something that will fix our perceived brokenness. We want something to fill our emptiness. We think something outside of ourselves will complete us.
Try on both perspectives—brokenness and wholeness—and see if either viewpoint changes what you actually want. It may not. Maybe what you’re desiring is being governed by your lack mentality, as well as your inner abundance—both can be at play. Perhaps if you’re in a place of fulfillment and you really don’t have any cravings for more. Or you could be as determined as ever to create what you’re desiring. Let’s see . . .
1. TEMPORARILY GO TO THIS ZONE: BROKEN.
This is only an exercise, you’re not sending a direct signal to the Universe. Okay? Okay.
Imagine that you feel: broken, defective, in need of fixing. You think you’re behind in life. You wonder if you’ll ever catch up, you question if your dreams are even possible. Doubt is floating around. It’s hard to imagine being fulfilled.
Now! What do you think you need to feel to heal your brokenness? What do you crave to feel?
2. NOW GO HERE: WHOLE.
Take in this truth, let it fill every cell: you are complete, safe, loved, and loving. You are a Divine Being and Life rejoices in fulfilling your desires—you and life are in a dynamic collaboration. You’re perfect in Creation’s eyes. All Love and wisdom dwell within in. You radiate beauty and joy. You live in an abundant, trusting state of flow. Repeat: you are complete, safe, loved, loving, and Life is holding you.
Now! From that place of wholeness, you may not desire anything at all. Your cravings seem to have melted away. You ACCEPT YOUR WHOLENESS! You can flow with Life. If that’s what you’re sensing and perceiving, then the question is: What else do you feel in that state of wholeness? What other feelings would be a celebration of your wholeness?