Beware of These Three Traps: Neglect

Trap 3: Beware Neglect

It’s easy to neglect the important people and things in our lives when we get overcommitted or overreach. Perhaps that’s why this is one of the most important chapters in the book. Read it twice. Trust me. No one wants to wake up and realize they took their eye off what matters.

Performance Prompts

  1. An area where I am neglecting someone or something important in my life is . . .

Being true to my commitments, would be mine. But how about you? Someone you consistently put off who you love?

  1. An area where that neglect will cause me regret later on is . . .
  1. An area where I can return my focus, reallocating my attention to things that matter, is…
  2. Some areas in my life where I feel overcommitted right now are . . .
  3. The things I need to learn to say no to more often are . . .
  4. An opportunity I really want to chase right now that I could schedule to revisit in few
    months is . . .
  5. The main things moving the needle toward my success that I should be focused on right
    now, despite all the other exciting interests and opportunities I could chase, are . . .
  6. The way I’ll remind myself not to take on too much is . . .

Podcast

Beware of These Three Traps: Dissatisfaction

Trap 2: Beware Dissatisfaction
Do not listen to those who say, “Never be satisfied.” Satisfaction is something you should feel as you strive, not one day when all is perfect. Being satisfied, then, doesn’t mean “settling.” It simply means accepting and taking pleasure in what is. It’s allowing yourself to feel contentment whether or not a thing is complete or “perfect.” You have to reach yourself to feel fulfilled and enjoy the journey now.

These prompts will help.

  • The areas of my life I’ve felt consistently dissatisfied with include . . .

Think about personal development, health, wealth, career, fun & hobbies, family and friends, etc.

  • Some good things that have also happened in those areas include . . .

Look at the good side of these areas and ask yourself what has been learned. Again, if you’re dealing with year-long dissatisfaction on the job, it’s because it’s no longer providing meaning to you.

  • Something I can say to myself the next time I feel dissatisfied, to get me to notice the good things and continue moving forward, is . .

  • Someone who probably sees me dissatisfied more than I want them to is . . .

  • If I were going to inspire that person to believe you can enjoy life as you work hard and
    succeed, I would have to change these behaviors . . .

Podcast

Beware of These Three Traps: #1 Superiority

High performers face a unique set of character traps because they are, by definition, outperforming so many around them. When you are succeeding beyond others, it’s easy to get a big head. You can begin to think you’re special, separate from, better than, or more important than other people. Of course, you probably would never say to yourself, “One day, I want to start feeling that I’m better than other people.” So consider these prompts closely.

Performance Prompts

  • A recent situation where I found myself being overly critical or dismissive of others was…

Think of any situation in your life that you felt like you were looking down on someone based on what class you think you’re in versus theirs. This could be you looking down on a street cleaner, maintenance, bus driver, etc.

  • The thoughts I had about myself in that situation and the others involved were . . .

Did you have thoughts of “well, I make this much money and you make a fraction, therefore I can treat you poorly.” This is the Thai mindset, and it could be very disheartening for a lot of people out there. I make sure I always give grace to security and the cleaners at my condo (except one lady because she’s a total crazy.)

  • Had I reimagined the situation from a more humble and appreciative view, I would
    probably have realized that . . .

Go back and apologize. Be different in your next interaction with people you believe you’re more superior too.

  • The best way I can remind myself that everyone is dealing with difficulties in life and that we’re all more alike than we are different is . . .

Podcast

Sharing Your Ambitions Performance Prompts

Practice 2: Share Your Truth & Ambitions


The main motivation of humankind is to be free, to express our true selves and pursue our dreams without restriction—to experience what may be called personal freedom. Follow this impulse by consistently sharing your true thoughts, feelings, needs, and dreams
with other people. Do not play small to placate others. Live your truth. – Brendan Burchard

Performance Prompts

  1. Something I really want to do that I haven’t shared with enough people is . . .
  • Traveling, starting that business, taking that leap of faith, committing to that passion. Put it out there….
  1. If I were going to be more “me” in my everyday life, I would start to . . .
  • Since living in Thailand, I realized that regardless of what I do, I will always be just “black” or “bad” through the eyes of Thais — not only Thais but Asians on the continent of Asia in general. So, that enabled me to establish me and live ME everyday.
  1. When I put myself out there and someone makes fun of me, I’m just going to . . .
  • Critical. YouTube is troll city. Are you ready for people to judge you? What criticism will you accept? Will you respond to no-face trolls out there? This is why I turned off ALL COMMENTS on my YouTube because it shows I don’t give a fuck about anyone’s opinion. I’ve turned off likes, too. If they truly admire my work, they would click the description and follow me elsewhere. I’m very lucky to also be in a realm where Americans in general would NEVER follow me, so I eliminate about 10% of the trolls in the world.
  1. A major dream I’m going to start telling people about and asking for some help with is . .
  • Be careful with WHO you share your dream with though.

Podcast

Honor Thy Struggle – Performance Prompts

Practice 1: Honor the Struggle


When you have the opportunity to learn and serve, you don’t complain about the effort involved. View struggle as a necessary, important, and positive part of your journey so that you can and true peace and personal power. Don’t bemoan the inevitable hardships of self-improvement and chasing your dreams; have reverence for challenge. – Brendan Burchard

Performance Prompts

  1. A struggle I’ve been facing in my life is . . .
  2. The way I could change my view of this struggle is . . .
  3. If something great could come from this struggle, it would be . . .
  4. The way I choose to greet life’s inevitable hardships from today forward is . . .

Podcast

Stop Looking Externally/Look Internally

You guys all know the story. I’ve been denied over 200 jobs in Thailand for my skin tone. Over the past week, I had been applying for jobs — and with my resumé, I should’ve at least been called in for an interview. But because this is Thailand — not so. 

My friend Deeptha said, “Arsenio, stop playing small. You have a global business with global listeners!”

I said, “ok, no more looking externally and look internally.”

Over the past 8 days, I’ve gotten three clients off Spotify search engines and lots of praise from listeners. 

STOP PLAYING SMALL, PEOPLE!

Podcast

Increasing Performance Necessity Prompts

Welcome back! We have some ways of increasing your performance in the prompts down below!

  • Three things I want to become extraordinarily good at doing are…..

Speaking. This is already fantastic, but my goal is to have at least 3 speaking engagements a year. This is something I wanted to achieve at the beginning, but then obviously COVID happened and stopped many things from unfolding. However, my podcast has already prepared me for profound greatness, so I’m very excited about what’s going to happen next. Another thing is being a high-performance coach. That’s right, on top of business and personal development, I would like to be a coach, in this sector, but in the central and south Americas. Thus why I have to take up learning Spanish. And the last thing would being the best IELTS/TOEIC/TOEFL ITP/IBT coach in the world. I will ultimately be out the big brands (such as what’s happening already), and I really want to be that go-to person in this field. When people think “I need help,” I want my blog and podcast to be the first one in search engines.

  • My why” for becoming excellent in each of these areas are….

This is all part of my passion.

  • The people I will tell……

Mira and Deepth

  • Some ways I can remind myself these important “why” and goals are…..

Because this life is no longer about me, but more about who I’m serving. Of course to be the best server I will take care of myself in so many ways…and I will always serve me first. No more going after short-term economics. I need to take the quantum leap.

Podcast

Necessity Performance Prompts

Welcome back to another performance prompt day! Instead of having this podcast Arsenio-centric, which explains why the play count is always low, I’m going to continue putting these prompts out to help all of you in achieving greatness. These daily cues can be written down and followed on a routine basis, so here are some examples!

  • People who need me on my A-Game at this point in my life are….

You need to first understand that you must approach everyday as if it’s your A-Game. Every situation. Everything must be win-win and you must be smart with your interactions. There’s nothing below an A-Game, and if there is, you should consider finding something else to do.

In regards to my life, the people who need me on my A-Game is me. I’m responsible for me. If I had given anything less on my podcasts, I wouldn’t have the best ESL podcast in the world. So I make a commitment to giving myself 120% so I can give everyone else more.

  • The reasons each of these people need me include…

When I do coaching, and especially when I become a transformation/life coach, I must/will do everything to the best of my ability to give my clients the A-Game.

  • The reasons I want to become a high performer for each of these people are…..

When I create my brand, I create integrity. If you look at brands around the world, even the biggest brands, a lot of them lack integrity: Amazon, Apple, Coca-cola, Nike, etc. So for me to be a high-performer and give everyone my all is essential. If someone gets a free consultation, I won’t give them anything less than I would a paying client.

  • I know when I’m on my A-Game when I think, feel, behave….

I normally have a vibrational feel to what I do. There’s a lot of tingling and my mind feels woke. I normally get this when I did training projects last year and speaking about corporate finance, investment products. These are the subjects that really get me going over all other general English subjects that I teach at my place of work.

  • The things that throw me off my A-Game are…

Distractions. Lots of distractions. It could be a Macbook open in a classroom, or it could be messages I get on a long day. So, I give 100%+ to a small language center outside of Bangkok. After receiving a horrific message from one of the most annoying people in my life, that threw me off my A-Game. I went from being at an 8 in terms of teaching to a 4 because I lost all my focus. This is why on long days and core-building days, I switch off my notifications.

  • I can deal with this more effectively by….

Turn off notifications and respond to messages around 10am. Nothing after that. Also, no messages after 6pm at night. No looking at emails after that time, too, because normally they’re bad. However, this was more of a 3-years-ago type of ordeal when I had a lackluster “head-teacher” pseudo-boss that would send emails to me in the evening, pissing me off before I went to sleep. Now that I’ve taken out the majority of all distracting-people from my life, I now don’t have to worry about getting ignorant messages on different apps anymore.

  • A few reminders I can set up to be the best for the people in my life are….

Be truthfully honest in interactions and keep them as upbeat as possible.

Podcast

Values High-Performance Prompts

Here are some prompts for you to follow throughout your day or reflect on….

  1. The values that are important for me to live are….Ex: freedom, integrity, intelligence, connection.
  1. A situation which I didn’t live my values was…living upcountry and for the past four years, having worked with women who under appreciated me and cheated me on a constant basis. 
  1. The reason I didn’t feel it necessary to live my values was…I felt fear. Fear that if I had quit, I wouldn’t have gotten extra income on the side. 
  1. A recent situation where I felt proud for living my values was…. last month I finally quit that job and told them to **** off. 
  1. The reason I felt it was necessary to be that particular person was…I realized that they had been stopping on my integrity for years and enough was enough. I also realized they were making up 80% of my unhappiness and that work brought ZERO MEANING into my life. 
  1. The topics I find myself obsessed with are…..podcasting, personal development, speaking engagements, bettering myself. 
  1. A topic I’ve found myself obsessing with in a not-so healthy way is….dumb news: election, COVID, racism. 

What small steps can I do to control the amount of negative news? MEDIA FAST!

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New Mental Triggers

Bend thoughts and lead to positive states of mind.

What triggers will remind you to steer you towards positive social interactions.

  • Notification trigger — alarm “bring the joy”
  • Door frame trigger — every time you walk through a door frame, find the good, enter the room a happy person and be ready to serve.
  • Waiting trigger — waiting in line — what level of presence do I have right now on a scale 1-10? Check in on your emotional state
  • 5 or below? YOU’RE LUCKY TO BE ALIVE! Raise your energy!
  • Touch trigger — Hugging and touching is vital to well-being and happiness.
  • Positive trigger — WHAT A GIFT! Become consciously aware of the positivity that comes into your life.
  • Stress trigger — stop manufacturing stress, whenever things feel like they’re getting out of hand, 10 deep breaths, what’s the positive thing you can focus on right now and the next action you can take at that moment — evening journaling — three things that make you felt great during the day, close your eyes, and relive them in reflection.

Here are some great techniques I use as mental triggers.  Bring the Joy is what I use in the morning, thus why I always workout in the morning because that’s a significant portion of joy and growth for me. 

Walking into a room and finding the good is another. How can I serve these people? An example of this would be going to work…there are always 1-2 people sitting at the front desk and I come in, all smiles, saying the same thing that makes them laugh every morning — for two straight years. 

Waiting trigger is critical because I get overwhelmed sitting in traffic, being on a stuck train (happens all too often here in Thailand), and even waiting in line and watching the reception work extra slow. I check in with my level of presence.  If it’s below 5, I always say “YOU’RE LUCKY TO BE ALIVE!

Touch brings happiness, joy, and well-being to people’s lives. Living in Asia is difficult because they have a “no-touch policy”….however, in South America and Central America, it’s all hugs and air-kisses, and because the touch trigger is so important for me, these countries will be excellent suitors….or obviously if you can’t live in these countries, having people around that have the “hugs” policy is crucial, rather than those who always want to steer clear of that because of cultural norms. 

Positive: WHAT A GIFT! If any message comes in, inquiry, comment, EVEN A SMILE downstairs for me…I always smile and say “WHAT A GIFT!” I also replay the event in my head at the end of the day and feel that same wonderful energy I did at the time. 

Stress! Oh, happens all too often, but to stop manufacturing stress, breathing exercises are important and acting on the stress.  I have a fundamental question: “what’s making me feel stressed right now?” I ask a further 3 rounded questions and the stress then dissipates.  I stop stress within a minute because I have a tendency of twisting it around to understand the nature of it. 

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