Stephen Covey’s 8th Habit | Season 6 – Episode 15 | The Soul’s Search for Meaning

“Deep within each one of us there is an inner longing to live a life of greatness and contribution—to really matter, to really make a difference. We may doubt ourselves and our ability to do so, but I want you to know of my deep conviction that you can live such a life. You have the potential within you. We all do. It is the birthright of the human family.”

Excerpt From: Stephen R. Covey. “The 8th Habit.”

We have the intuitive nudge. I mean, this was 2009. There were a sequence of events that happened in my life that implicated about 3-5 different people talking about travels to Vietnam, Hong Kong, etc. Of course this came at a massive downturn in the American economy (great financial crisis), but it was a period when I had that nudge. That nudge that said “Arsenio, there’s more to life. More to greatness. More to your ability. More to everything.”

That’s when I took a flight to Australia, and four years later, I completely broke away from my family (in regards to relationships) to go after what was mine in the universe.

“All of us can consciously decide to leave behind a life of mediocrity and to live a life of greatness—at home, at work and in the community. No matter what our circumstances may be, such a decision can be made by every one of us—whether that greatness is manifest by choosing to have a magnificent spirit in facing an incurable disease, by simply making a difference in the life of a child, giving that child a sense of worth and potential, by becoming a change-catalyst inside an organization, or by becoming an initiator of a great cause in society. We all have the power to decide to live a great life, or even simpler, to have not only a good day but a great day. No matter how long we’ve walked life’s pathway to mediocrity, we can always choose to switch paths. Always. It’s never too late. We can find our voice.”

Excerpt From: Stephen R. Covey. “The 8th Habit.” Apple Books.

ONCE YOU MAKE the choice to follow this “road less traveled,” the pathway to finding your own voice is to:

1. Discover Your Voice by coming to understand your true nature—what I call three magnificent birth-gifts (chapter 4) and by developing and using with integrity the intelligence tied to each of the four parts of your nature.
2. Express Your Voice by cultivating the highest manifestations of these human intelligences—vision, discipline, passion and conscience (chapter 5).

Topic: Goals for 2021 – Transformation / Life Coaching Certification

Wow, it was like the afternoon and I ended up having such a buzzing feeling all over my body — kind of like neurons firing in so many directions. The level of excitement was climbing and I started podcasting like no other — 4 consecutive ones, at that. What did I end up discovering within these moments? Well, I could’ve been at a 400-500 hertz level of consciousness because what was pouring out of my soul was unreal. In this podcast, I discovered just that….and I also made an oath to myself: “I will travel to South Africa for my transformation coaching program next year and I will also do the life-coaching program with Jay Shetty online.”

Podcast

Stephen Covey’s 8th Habit | Season 6 – Episode 13 | How to Withstand Cultural Provocations

“Where does a person get such internal strength to swim against the current and to withstand negative cultural provocations, subordinate selfish interests and develop and sustain such vision and determination?

They learn of their true nature and gifts. They use them to develop a vision of great things they want to accomplish. With wisdom they take initiative and cultivate great understanding of the needs and opportunities around them. They meet those needs that match their unique talents, that tap their higher motivations and that make a difference. In short, they find and use their voice. They serve and inspire others. They apply PRINCIPLES that govern growth and prosperity in human beings AND in organizations—principles that draw the highest and best from a “whole person”—body, mind, heart and spirit. Equally significant, they also choose to influence and inspire others to find their voice through these principles as well.”

Excerpt From: Stephen R. Covey. “The 8th Habit.”

This is an excellent example of what I’ve overcome at my last job. I literally ignored the noise; just as I ignored the noise with my family from 2012-2013.  This was a critical moment in my life because I could’ve been sucked into a bloodsucking abyss with no way out – although I felt like I was in it and suffocating as is. However, just like my family and my last full-time job from three years ago, I kept that vision strong and the why powerful enough that nothing could blow it down. My voice was always number one over everyone else, and this is how I was able to stave off the monsters from the outside.

This two-part solution—Find Your Voice and Inspire Others to Find Theirs—is a road map for individuals at ANY level of an organization to maximize their fulfillment and influence, become an irreplaceable contributor,* and inspire their team and the broader organization to do the same. Accordingly, the book is organized into two main sections:

1. Find Your Voice

2. Inspire Others to Find Their Voice”

The Science Behind the Breath | Mindfulness Course

In this episode, Mira discusses how our emotions are connected to our breathing. Let me ask you a rhetorical question: “when you get frustrated, angry or anxious, how’s your breathing?” When we don’t get enough oxygen to our brain, we have mental lapses and we’re not able to think straight, resulting in make making impulsive decisions. Tune in!

Meditation & Yoga Benefits | Mindfulness Course

We’re back with Part II of this amazing course, and today we’re going to be diving into the benefits of meditation and yoga. Since I started doing yoga religiously, I now have no problems falling asleep. Two years ago, on the other hand, would be very difficult for me because I wasn’t able to control my thoughts. That’s one of the man benefits yoga has; on top of the boosting of the immune system. Listen to Mira break this down.

Becoming Your Own Superhero: Episode 01 – Understanding The Mind

WOW! We are here with the UDEMY course! If some of you don’t already know or don’t listen to my podcast, I went on an unbelievable transformation course with Mira Butler a week after the beginning of this month. What it brought me was tears (literally), destroyed my negative beliefs, and overcame the limiting beliefs. I now understand the power of goal-setting and my goals and everything has been 10x. I’m BEYOND excited about bringing you guys this on a 1 hour and 56 minute UDEMY course, but on this blog it will feature just a 7 minute podcast in which we dive deep into the mind.

What is the mind? Two halves: conscious and subconscious. If you’re not aware of this, you will definitely find this fascinating and realize that you’re not only NOT in the driver’s seat of the car you THINK you’re steering, but you’re probably in the trunk!

Things that will be learned.

  • Steer the boat
  • What’s the subconscious mind?
  • The beginning of rewiring your subconscious mind.

Holding Others Accountable + Trust Tips

It’s vastly important to understand how much accountability builds trust in culture. When leaders don’t hold people accountable, the opposite is true. People feel it’s unfair: “Well, look what he did….and he got off free!”

It creates a sense of disappointment, inequity, and insecurity. You see this a lot in families where discipline is inconsistent, where a parent will hold one child accountable and not another, or will hold a child accountable in one situation and not another.

The Fight

This was probably one of my most disappointing moments in my life (that relates to my family). For whatever reason, my brother approached me at band practice and tried fighting me. It was funny because I was just standing on the field, waiting for the instructor to hit the “go,” and then my brother said something blatantly rude, like he always does.

I was like, “huh?” And then I defended myself when he got completely belligerent. So, his friend at the time, who’s still the biggest asshole today, took him home before me so he can tell my mother what happened. I got home and both my mother and him teamed up on me. She literally listened to his story without hearing my side, even if she knew how manipulative he was. This is an example of her holding me accountable for something I didn’t do versus sitting us both down and saying, “hey, enough. What happened — happened. Get up stairs.”

Trust Tips

  • Listen to your language and to your thoughts. When things go wrong and you find yourself blaming or accusing others, stop. Draw back and ask yourself, How can I close the window and focus on the mirror? In your mind, compare the difference in establishing trust between an approach of blaming and pointing fingers versus an approach of taking personal responsibility.
  • At work, Practice Accountability by holding your direct reports accountable for their actions. Always clarify expectations first so that everyone knows what they’re accountable for and by when. When people account to you, allow them to evaluate themselves first against the results you’ve agreed upon (most people will be tough on themselves than you’ll be); then follow through with the agreed-upon or natural consequences of people performing (or not). Remember, the people you rely upon most in your company — the performers — like to be held accountable and want others to be held accountable, too.
  • Look for ways to create an environment of accountability in your home. Set up trust talks with your partner on matter you’ve agree to work together on, such as finances. Create agreements with your children concerning their responsibilities at home, and include consequences — both natural and logical, both good and bad. Follow through on your agreements. Give family members a person — and a culture — they can trust.

Trust Tips for Clarifying Expectations

A VERY AMAZING Thursday. A woman I used to work for invited me to an interview at a bank because she knew I could sell like crazy. She needed to give a presentation to four women and I was there looking at the every move of them.

When we sat in the room, we waited for about 10 minutes and then came in 4 women: no handshakes, eye-contact, hello, anything. Everything was forced, and then I felt a knot in my stomach, “oh, this isn’t going to be good.”

My ex-colleague, without small talk or anything, went straight into a formal presentation. This is scary because if you want to get a client, you shouldn’t do any speaking — only listening. She spoke for a solid 15 minutes without feedback and I watched the women across the table. Two young generation and two older. One in particular was very fidgety. In the first three minutes, I felt her mind had left the room. She was playing with her papers, phone, and looked as if she wanted to walk out. I felt embarrassed.

Just before that…

My ex-colleague told me that she hadn’t gotten any special projects because the competition is stiff. However, I don’t believe in competition…..you’re your own competition, and let me break this down.

As someone who wants to be heard (the client), they should do the talking in the beginning. Who cares about you, your track record, or your accolades. They need help, and you’re supposed to help them.

For the first 15 minutes, they were disengaged. They were given a ton of papers, and to add insult to injury, they were given the price quote (face palming the shit out of myself at this very moment). So what does this sound like? a win-lose situation. She was doing everything so structurally that she forgot this is supposed to be a win-win situation. Hell with the money, tell me how you can help us! — is what I would’ve said.

In the end, I was able to ask them straightforward what they wanted.

  • How to respond effectively, and with soft language, to complain emails.

See, instead of the presentation and given pre-courses, this is what she should’ve asked right out the gates, and that would’ve been a sure client. Because she didn’t, she was after the money and NOBODY likes money-grabbers because it’s a win-lose.

They opened up. They smiled. They laughed. She said, “what you guys have on the paper isn’t what we want.”

“It’s just the things that we offer,” I said. ” We create customizable courses for our clients to get maximum speed and cost from the training.”

Her eyes lit up.

Was it enough? Not sure, but if it was, it’s because I clarified expectations and everything in general.

Trust Tips

Reaching the “sweet spot” in Clarify Expectations takes Integrity (being honest and courageous about setting expectations and communicating with others). It takes Intent to create expectations that represent a “win” for all involved. It takes Capabilities, including the ability to organize the elements of the agreement, to set up accountability, and to execute with excellence. And it takes the ability to identify the desired Results in a way that everyone involved understands.

– When you communicate with others, recognize that clarity is power. One way of checking to see if your communication has been clear is to “check for clarity” by asking a few simple questions.

1) What have you understood from this conversation?

2) As a result of our interaction, what do you see as your next steps? What do you see as mine?

3) Do you feel that others are clear regarding expectations?

4) What can we do to make things more clear?

– The next time you have a project at work, create a clear project agreement in advance. If you’re in charge, call everyone together and encourage them to express any ideas and concerns. Work to come up with a clear agreement that is realistic and represents a win for all stakeholders.

Podcast

Additional Podcast: Motivational Mentors

Yes, the picture of me is pretty bad, but bear with me until I get a new one (LOL).

Many of my podcast listeners have been listening to me on two different platforms.  When I wasn’t creating podcasts on my personal development podcast, they went to my ESL podcast.  So, I think it’s really exciting to tell you guys that there is a 3rd and joint podcast I’m doing with another mentor called Motivational Mentors. 

This particular podcast was thought of by one of my ex-interviewees that I had on back in March.  We flirted with some ideas in April, but nothing was concrete.  On July 3rd, we officially launched the first podcast.  We didn’t have much direction in the beginning, but we kicked it off by doing a Q & A.  So, the first couple of podcasts were by people who wanted to have questions answered by us.  Mild success, but then I thought about bringing on other entrepreneurs and whatnot and that’s when it exploded.

Luke Burrows, who has a great contact list, began asking people all over the world about coming on for episodes.  We set up an official date and on every Sunday, we brought someone on the show to chat it up with us.  So many interviewees later, our podcast plays have spiked significantly (especially compared to my personal development podcast) and we have booked out time slots for the next several months into the new year.

The best part about this is that NO ONE IS DOING THIS.  There aren’t mentors flexing their personal development muscles because it’s a bit risky to do so.  With the amount of experience and me putting in serious work with the things I’ve read, and with Luke teaching his clients and the amount of knowledge he has; this not only creates brand awareness, but it shows that we do know what we’re talking about.

I remember talking about some people recently on my podcast about being afraid of getting exposed — like dog trainers.  If you’re a dog trainer and you don’t have a podcast, videos, 1-minute videos on Instagram or no online presence, you don’t exist.  Moreover, people can call you out rather quickly because they don’t know if you’re real.

This is the important part of business, people.  You need to show the world that you’re competent in the area you’re talking about, because if you don’t, you have no leverage.  It’s about creating those relationships and collaborating with as many people as possible.  So with Motivational Mentors  and my ESL podcast excelling quickly, you can’t only imagine what’s about to happen in 2019!

Podcast

Wheel of Life: October 2018 Edition – Closing Out The Year

Another month, another close.  Yes, it’s been a year with far more ups than downs, but the closing is coming to an end.

How will you leave your mark?

For those of you tuning in for the first time, this is a podcast that’s for people who are willing to identify what areas of life are their strengths and which ones they’ve been neglecting.  Here are the categories.

  • Personal development
  • Physical environment
  • Romantic relationships
  • Health
  • Wealth
  • Career
  • Fun & Hobbies
  • Family & Friends

Rate yourself from 1-10 in each category and be brutally honest about yourself.  Once you understand what areas are suffering, now you’re consciously aware and can make a change.  Here are not only my categories, but what I need to improve in.

Improvement Stages Launch

Normally I’ve talked about my main scores followed by explanation, but I want to see where I can improve.  It’s not about becoming a perfectionist, but improving.

Physical Environment – *3

So, in terms of my physical environment, I believe that it can increase significantly.  First and foremost, my separate projects outside my main place of work are great.  A turning point happened at my job where someone “bitched” at me over something that isn’t even worth repeating (ok, it was about writing on a back of a sheet of paper), but it made me realize “maybe this place doesn’t deserve a teacher like me?”  When she did this, I scratched my head and said, “I’m not going to get my visa until early next year…and that’s if I’m still here.”

That’s called a yellow flag, folks.  Never fully commit when you have nastiness happening.

I’m now cancelling a lot of my availability with the job — because I CAN.  I’m also focusing on my main projects, but that and a couple of blackouts at my condo has hampered the everlasting 10 you would see on a continuous basis.

Physical Environment – *2

I could’ve increased my personal development by a large margin if I just know how to end my day.

I’ve been scuffling and trying to figure out an evening routine that’s suitable for m Because I finish work so ridiculously late, it’s very hard for me to end my day effectively (no excuses.  It all deals with my phone.  If I’m able to listen to affirmations or listen to my “calm” application, which has some nice story-telling to put me in a good state of mind, I win.  However, I haven’t been able to do that.

So, there are several things that I will implement. Tune into my podcast down below for that!

Career – *1.5

Honestly, I’m on the right track.  The comments, the love, the support, the things I’m attracting…but my actions are still not showing that I’m hungry for my ebook and webinar launch.

Wealth – *5

This was the category that made me upset.  I should be making a solid figure per month at my day job, but I’m not — STILL.  So, what can I do to buck the trend? In the podcast!

Because I don’t want to make this long extra long, I decided put everything into my podcast down below to here how I’m able to cope with things that aren’t working.

Podcast