Here’s another great assessment for you to do to figure out if you have balance. Again, is work-life balance a myth? NOPE! It’s entirely up to you to be able to put your schedule together, to clear time out for loved ones, etc.
I think the greatest achievement in my life was to finally let go of my family. The forgiveness and set in and because of so much internal work, the relationship with my mother has officially changed and the conversations between her and I have become more evident. As for the others in my family, I’ve finally accepted that there’s no reason to prolong the inevitable, and by overcoming this, the relationships in my life are truly magnificent.
What do I mean by this? Well, because I did so much Chakra and inner work with Mira, producing a crazy amount of high-lows between June and September, the energy between my mother and I changed because of forgiveness. However, in the process, my youngest sister, who I hadn’t spoken to in four years, deleted me from Facebook. When it happened, I was truly fulfilled because I finally accepted that there’s no reason for us to front and act like you do want to speak to me. If deleting me from Facebook gives you true joy and fulfillment, please do. If that’s the only way to become content in life, I wish you the best. And when I did that and released it to the universe, I finally said to myself “I can finally be at peace with my siblings and wish them the best in their life.”
In the process, I don’t want to hear anything. Even when tragedy strikes in years to come, it’s none of my business. Just because tragedy comes, I don’t want to be notified then because I was never notified during the highs. You were never there for me to begin with. I meditate and hope that the universe brings you joy…and that’s all I can do.
When I finally let go of the resent of my family, those who didn’t understand left and the only one who stuck around was my mother. Now, she comments weekly on my posts. This is the most she’s written all year, and it has come in the last several months. Now I’m at true peace.
Practice 2: Share Your Truth & Ambitions
The main motivation of humankind is to be free, to express our true selves and pursue our dreams without restriction—to experience what may be called personal freedom. Follow this impulse by consistently sharing your true thoughts, feelings, needs, and dreams
with other people. Do not play small to placate others. Live your truth. – Brendan Burchard
- Something I really want to do that I haven’t shared with enough people is . . .
- Traveling, starting that business, taking that leap of faith, committing to that passion. Put it out there….
- If I were going to be more “me” in my everyday life, I would start to . . .
- Since living in Thailand, I realized that regardless of what I do, I will always be just “black” or “bad” through the eyes of Thais — not only Thais but Asians on the continent of Asia in general. So, that enabled me to establish me and live ME everyday.
- When I put myself out there and someone makes fun of me, I’m just going to . . .
- Critical. YouTube is troll city. Are you ready for people to judge you? What criticism will you accept? Will you respond to no-face trolls out there? This is why I turned off ALL COMMENTS on my YouTube because it shows I don’t give a fuck about anyone’s opinion. I’ve turned off likes, too. If they truly admire my work, they would click the description and follow me elsewhere. I’m very lucky to also be in a realm where Americans in general would NEVER follow me, so I eliminate about 10% of the trolls in the world.
- A major dream I’m going to start telling people about and asking for some help with is . .
- Be careful with WHO you share your dream with though.
So, over the past couple weeks, and if you guys don’t already know, I had been doing free consultations by reaching out to people on a Facebook page. Unbeknownst to me, I had received maybe 100 comments. Half of them weren’t series because I had messaged them, sent a voice note, but no response. Other people booked the calendar but never showed up….but about 30% of them did.
Now, the problem with takers are they are just there to consume. It’s not about receiving an ovation and external validation, but even when you help them and they achieve your score, they wouldn’t tell you that they achieved their score but rather give themselves all the credit for achieving the score without mention.
Again, not so much about external validation, but very disheartening.
This is what happens when you stick your head in places where people don’t know you, right?
So, there was an unruly one who had always booked consultations at 8pm at night. Me, being an early bird, closed my 8pm time-slots a number of times but he was still able to book it. So, here was the second-time-coming and without contacting him, I was already over the consultations. There was no ROI, other than recording some voices and posting them throughout the rest of the year. It’s not that I had expectations — but maybe I did, because I ended up being very disappointed with these people in the end. They would take from me, achieve the score, then post saying they did it on their own.
I had about 2 consultations left, and to be honest, I was just going to cancel them and not show up because I already knew the story. The last consultation I have (although there’s one more from a girl in Nigeria but Africans have a tendency of NEVER SHOWING UP)….I said “fuck it. Who cares.” But when you have a brand and an online persona, it’s very important to cancel.
I had my Whatsapp number on my FB page and got a direct message from my phone, again, from the angry taker, and so there really isn’t much left to be said. But what did I learn from this? Obviously to cancel all remaining appointments with takers. But two, protect the brand. Regardless of my personal feelings, I need to hurry up, cancel, and let him be angry. The scary part about it is perhaps he would tag my page in the group stating “he didn’t give me a free consultation”…..and then in that community, what happens then? I have to be very careful about how I go about things because it could be a disaster.
And what did I learn from the entire process of just giving, giving, giving with no ROI? Don’t stick your head into groups on Facebook that have people without money. I was able to attract people just by sharing my content. If people are interested and serious, my content would speak for itself and they would inquire about services that way. If they’re not serious and are there for taking, just say “offering free……”. All the takers will come flooding in wanting the free.
What did I learn, stop reaching out to the “people with no money” market and help people who are deserving of your services, are super fans, and appreciate all that you’ve done. It’s not about the external validation, but it is infuriating to see people ignore the fact that you helped them for an hour, only to post on their Facebook page the achievements and completely ignore you.
- Continuous, systematic, disciplined study and education
- Cultivation of self-awareness
- Learning by teaching and doing
All of which will be covered in today’s podcast.
“What is the impact on the spirit when we stop learning? The conscience first becomes numbed, then dulled, and finally silenced, because it constantly tells us to learn and to grow. We lose both a sense of vision in life and the struggle to find our voice, both of which are primary sources of our passion in life. We find the wisdom literature boring and uninspiring, even irrelevant.” – Stephen Covey
“Self-awareness involves all four intelligences and is a unique human endowment. It’s essentially another word for the space between stimulus and response—the space where you can pause and then make a choice or decision.Excerpt From: Stephen R. Covey. “The 8th Habit.” Apple Books.
Cultivating self-awareness by trying to understand and make explicit our underlying assumptions, theories and paradigms is without any question one of the highest leverage activities we can be involved in. Because we are always making assumptions and because they are very implicit (we are unaware that we are making them), by making them explicit, we can make huge quantum leaps. We can learn to think outside the box.”
The Wheel of Life is back! Not sure how many years I’ve been doing this for, but surely sometime 2016 is when the Wheel of Life was officially launched. Guys, I love reviewing my month and seeing what went wrong.
Before I get into it, check out these categories below and rate them on a scale 1-10.
- Personal development
- physical environment
- fun & hobbies
- family and friends
- romantic relationships
When you rate them, be honest. No lying. Because the only way for improvement is figuring out what isn’t work and what you need to change.
If I had rated my physical environment at the beginning of this month, I hated my job upcountry. The dirt roads, the shitty apartment that was loud, the neighborhood, my job in general, the people I worked with and the work I was doing. Sure, I got a salary to get out of the hole I was in, but that wasn’t passionate work. So, I had to leave, and so I did. My Physical Environment went from a 3 — back to a 10. You have to be honest and confront what’s NOT WORKING.
The rest in my podcast down below!
“Natural authority is the dominion of natural laws. You can’t ignore natural laws, and you have no choice but to operate by them. All actions have consequences. Like it or not, when we pick up one end of the stick we pick up the other. If you jump off a ten-story building, you can’t change your mind at the fifth story. Gravity controls. That is the stamp of nature. Nature has also stamped people with the freedom and power to choose, and, therefore, they have natural authority or dominion over all of the rest of creation. Endangered species survive only by our consent. They don’t have freedom and power to choose. They lack self-awareness. They can’t reinvent themselves. They’re totally subject to humans, who, because they are self-aware, alone have freedom and power to choose and to reinvent themselves. This is natural authority.”Excerpt From: Stephen R. Covey. “The 8th Habit.” Apple Books.
Super excited! I’ve switched podcast hosting sites to get more exposure, and in just 12 hours, I’m up to 1k plays! I’m grateful for making this switch and even more excited to introduce some new things, topics, etc to this podcast. So, listen to the debut of this, how it started, and what to expect going forward. Set your alarms for M-W-F!
It’s completely fine to outgrow people, jobs, situations, relationships, etc. You will feel it when you wake up. Of course, I outgrew my job back in 2016 but remained complacent and stayed onboard until the end of 2017 into 2018. I had no business being there anymore because I felt that’s where old, white souls that were wretched went to die. That was my rhetoric back then, of course. So I left, and by far, that was the greatest decision in my life, as well as so many other subsequent events that had occurred shortly after that. Understand that it’s ok if you outgrow things, people, jobs, etc. That’s part of the process. But some of you stay and it just prolongs the inevitable. This is a progressive universe and it’s ever-flowing with abundance. Attach onto it and continue progressing.
“Deep within each one of us there is an inner longing to live a life of greatness and contribution—to really matter, to really make a difference. We may doubt ourselves and our ability to do so, but I want you to know of my deep conviction that you can live such a life. You have the potential within you. We all do. It is the birthright of the human family.”Excerpt From: Stephen R. Covey. “The 8th Habit.”
We have the intuitive nudge. I mean, this was 2009. There were a sequence of events that happened in my life that implicated about 3-5 different people talking about travels to Vietnam, Hong Kong, etc. Of course this came at a massive downturn in the American economy (great financial crisis), but it was a period when I had that nudge. That nudge that said “Arsenio, there’s more to life. More to greatness. More to your ability. More to everything.”
That’s when I took a flight to Australia, and four years later, I completely broke away from my family (in regards to relationships) to go after what was mine in the universe.
“All of us can consciously decide to leave behind a life of mediocrity and to live a life of greatness—at home, at work and in the community. No matter what our circumstances may be, such a decision can be made by every one of us—whether that greatness is manifest by choosing to have a magnificent spirit in facing an incurable disease, by simply making a difference in the life of a child, giving that child a sense of worth and potential, by becoming a change-catalyst inside an organization, or by becoming an initiator of a great cause in society. We all have the power to decide to live a great life, or even simpler, to have not only a good day but a great day. No matter how long we’ve walked life’s pathway to mediocrity, we can always choose to switch paths. Always. It’s never too late. We can find our voice.”Excerpt From: Stephen R. Covey. “The 8th Habit.” Apple Books.
ONCE YOU MAKE the choice to follow this “road less traveled,” the pathway to finding your own voice is to:
1. Discover Your Voice by coming to understand your true nature—what I call three magnificent birth-gifts (chapter 4) and by developing and using with integrity the intelligence tied to each of the four parts of your nature.
2. Express Your Voice by cultivating the highest manifestations of these human intelligences—vision, discipline, passion and conscience (chapter 5).