Stephen Covey: The 7 Low-Trust Organizational Taxes – Politics & Disengagement

In an organization, “politics” is defined as the use of tactics and strategy to gain power. Office politics divide a culture against itself by creating conflict with what author Lawrence MacGregor Serven calls the “enemy within” instead of the enemy without.

Office politics generate behaviors such as withholding information, infighting, trying to “read the tea leaves,” operating with hidden agendas, behaviors result in all kinds of wasted time, talent, energy, and money. In addition, they poison company cultures, derail strategies, and sabotage initiatives, relationships, and careers. The indirect costs related to office politics are estimated at 100 billion per year; some observers put them substantially higher.

Stephen Covey

Remember the story I had told you guys about a colleague by the name of Hubert? Yeah, met him for the first time, worked alongside him, and then I was bit by him, the venomous snake. Why would I call him a snake? Simply because he was the one who stopped taking a taxi with me to a company (lightyears away) so he can cut costs for himself. This was infuriating beyond belief, and I told my boss about his insidious agenda and to never allow him to come inside “this” language center. Of course, I was ignored, he came in and wreaked havoc for several months, creating division and gossip around the office. He finally had quit after trying to get me fired because I had podcasts that called out teachers that “fit the profile,” but this type of malice should’ve never stepped foot inside. Give a man one foot, he’ll soon push the door open and let himself in.

Disengagement

Disengagement is what happens when people continue to work at a company, but have effectively quit (commonly referred to as “quit and stay”). They put in what effort they must to get their paycheck and not get fired, but they’re not giving their talent, creativity, energy, or passion. Their bodies are there, but not their hearts or their minds. There are many reasons for disengagement, but one of the biggest reasons is that people simply don’t feel trusted.

Following the end of my teaching career at a particular place that I had been working at for 3.5 years, I lost my energy, passion, and everything for the job. I would say things to my students that would get me in trouble in the long term. I would shrug my shoulders and not do the mundane tasks. It’s almost as if I put a bullseye on my back everyday and wanted them to take me out, and they did. I had been disengaged from teaching at that place for months (since the dawn of the New Years) and I shouldn’t have stayed past 2016 (always leave when you’re at the peak — which sounds crazy). However, I did….and when one of our best salespeople left, along with a forcible firing of a great head teacher, cancer began spreading rapidly throughout the office and forced the best teachers out….to the most amazing journeys of life.

Podcast

The Speed of Trust: Season 4 – Episode 1 -Low/High Trust Relationships

So, before we get into the basis of it all, let’s first try outline some of the frustrations we have on a daily basis.

  • I can’t stand the politics at work.  I feel sabotaged by my peers.  It seems like everyone is out for himself and will do anything to get ahead. 

  • I’ve really been burned in the past.  How can I ever trust anyone enough to have a real relationship?

  • I work in an organization that’s bogged down with bureaucracy.  It takes forever to get anything done.  I have to get authorization to buy a pencil!

  • The older my children get, the less they listen to me.  What can I do?

  • I feel like my contributions at work are hardly ever recognized or valued.  

  • I foolishly violated the trust of someone who was supremely important to me.  If I could hit “rewind” and make the decision differently, I would do it in a heartbeat. But I can’t.  Will I ever be able to rebuild the relationship?

  • I have to walk on eggshells at work.  If I say what I really think, I’ll get fired…or at least made irrelevant. 

  • My boss micromanages me and everyone else at work.  He treats us all like we can’t be trusted. 

  • With all the scandals, corruption, and ethical violations in our society today, I feel like someone has pulled the rug out from under me.  I don’t know what — or who — to trust anymore.  

In all of these situations, you CAN do something.  Look, you’ve heard the storm on a number of occasions in terms of what happened between my family and I.  I was the bigger man and decided to message my mother a couple years later.  Did she show any signs of gratitude when she got a message from me? No.  Furthermore, I messaged the siblings, whose relationships are beyond dilapidation, and there was no remorse.  There’s no way they can instill trust in me again and they would much rather have a bulk of anger.  That’s a decision that they will have to live with for the rest of their lives.  I TRIED doing something, but it takes two to tango at times.

SImply put, trust means confidence.  The opposite of trust is distrust and suspicious.

I want you to think right now of someone who you have a high-trust relationship with — perhaps a boss, coworker, parent, sibling, best friend.  What’s it like? How does it feel? How well do you communicate with them? How quickly can you get things done? How much do you enjoy this relationship?

Now

Think of a person with whom you have a low-trust relationship.  Again, it could be any of the nouns above.  How does it feel? How is the communication? Does it flow quickly and freely? Or do you feel like you’re constantly walking on landmines and being misunderstood? Do you enjoy this relationship? Or do you find it draining?

Podcast

 

Darren Hardy: Don’t Drink Dirty Water

I worked for a dental office on a temp contract 6 years ago in Coburn (town north of North Sydney, if I’m not mistaken), and this man (the dentist) would look at me crazy and say, “did you drink your water? Arsenio, you must drink your water. The average being needs to consume X AMOUNT everyday.  If you don’t, your body can’t function.”

You get in life what you create. – Darren Hardy

Whatever you’re allowing yourself to hear and see is what you’re creating.  For the people out there who are literal thinkers, they’ll continue recreating the same life every day, week, month, year, and life.  The best part of this is once you realize that you are the creator – it’s life transforming.

Look at your life like a glass.  Your glass if filled with whatever you put it in.  For instance, I had a very uneventful weekend featuring disorganization and people who wanted to see me fail – but I didn’t fail.  Am I going to go home knocking what happened? Absolutely not.  Everything that happened – happened the exact way it was suppose to.

Media Diet

From the tabloids screaming at you in the stores, to CNN being on in the airport and even at the gyms – there’s no running from it.  However, you can cancel the subscriptions and stay away from the news all together.

Just this morning I was running on the treadmill and there were the older folks, walking and staring at the T.V. – all while watching a building burn.  Shortly after that segment, there was a homicide (of some sort) showing the dead body.  I didn’t necessarily see anything, but it didn’t phase me whatsoever because I had a motivational talk in my ear and cardio to do.

What is it with people who just find the need to slow down in traffic, too.  I’m talking about those who slow down to look at the carnage on the road.  Here in Thailand….they take photos.  That’s right.  The literally take photos of all the body parts – which ended up being splattered all over the place so they can gain social media likes.

This is why I go on a Newsfeed purge.  My friend, who I had dinner with last night, was completely against my purge.  She said, “how do you know how your friends are doing?”  I retorted, “they can tell me if it’s great news!”  I stopped following virtually all my Asian friends, especially after seeing one of my Vietnamese friends sharing a video involving a deceased young boy in an ice-chest.

The empathy; the heart; the sympathy and compassion of people, especially in Asia, has gone out the window.  Am I saying everyone? No….but my goal is to see inspirational messages and people doing great things.  My goal is to comment on photos that draw a lot of good attention.

There needs to be a “positive news” channel.  A news channel that just shows how you can overcome the senseless bigotry that’s peddled all over the news.  I can preach right now that there’s so much more good happening in the world than bad.  It’s just an issue because the news outlets broadcast things that can sell.  Good news doesn’t sell.  People don’t want to be happy.  People want to bitch.  You know this – and I know this.

Create A Personal Junk Filter

The majority of news doesn’t have a bearing on your goals, dreams or aspirations anyway.  Can you stop what’s happening in Myanmar? In the Middle East? I remember Joe Vitale saying on ‘the secret’: “maybe you have to be informed, but you don’t have to be inundated.”

Bottomline, things are happening all around the world that we have no control over.  Just like Tim Ferris’ Low Information Diet, Darren Hardy has the same thing, too.

I don’t want to pour mud into a clean glass of water.

Enroll In Drive-Time U

In the morning when I get out of bed, I have a podcast app on my phone ready to go.  Gary Vee locked in.  Also, Hodgetwins….the meaning to laugh, regardless of how ridiculous it is, is essential.  So, I’m standing on the platform in tears of laughter before heading into the train.  When I get inside, that’s when I get to work for the next 35 minutes.  I’m posting things on Instagram, Weibo, Twitter, FB, sharing things, writing things on my notepad.

Some people are probably driving.  Ok, if you drive to work, set yourself up a nice audio the night before.  I would seriously recommend Lisa Nichols, Gary Vee, Les Brown, Tony Robbins, Impact Theory (I love Wyclef Jean’s Story), and so many other videos.  Seriously…drill your mind relentlessly and you’ll be amazed how fast your paradigm shifts.

Podcast

Darren Hardy: Chapter 5 – Influences

There are three influences: input (what you feed your mind), associations (the people you spend time with),  and your environment.

If you’re one of those Facebook scrollers, you’re feeding your mind with a good amount of head-trash.  This means that you’re going to end up reading, posting, or sharing something which you have no control over.  Look at the President of the United States, for instance.  How many people post and rant their heads off at them? What do you accomplish by doing it? You really have to take a step back and look at it from that perspective.

I had a wonderful student a year or two ago.  She was a marvelous dental student, but she was quieter than ever.  Sure, “that fits the profile and persona of a dentist,” but she asked me “how can I bring out my personality?”

I asked, “are your friends quiet?”

…….”yes.”

Of course they are.  I can bet you right now if she had funny friends around her for a month, her personality would change.

A funny story about this would be Thai women try looking “black.”

That’s right.  They get hair extensions and tan their skin as much as possible to come off as an “African American.”  When you speak to them, they have a good amount of slang.  Guess who their friends are? You guessed it! Wait, no you didn’t.  Their friends are all from Africa.

I thought it was a funny story to tell. HA!

Environment has to be the biggest.  Honestly, biggest slum in Bangkok by the name of Khlong Toei is infested with poor people.

Rose Garden Townhomes, a place that my mother has been living for almost two decades, is full of a bunch of generational welfare pumping hood rats (hey, just calling it how I see you).

Are rich people hanging out with poor people?  Is someone from Beverly Hills going to a gym in Watts? Do the people in Manhattan live in the Bronx?

NOPE!

I. Input: Garbage in, garbage out.

“If you want your body to run at peak performance, you’ve got to be vigilant about consuming the highest-quality nutrients and avoiding tempting junk food. If you want your brain to perform at its peak, you’ve got to be even more vigilant about what you feed it. Are you feeding it news summaries or mind-numbing sitcoms? Are you reading the tabloids, or SUCCESS? Controlling the input has a direct and measurable impact on your productivity and outcomes.”

Excerpt From: Darren Hardy. “The Compound Effect.” iBooks.

This tackles it from two different angles.

On the super-busy days at my job, if I don’t eat protein and a handful of vegetables, I suffer from a mid-afternoon crash.  I can give you straightforward why I do, too – RICE!

Doesn’t make sense to eat rice when your body is not burning anything, right? However, I do!

Now is rice junk food? Absolutely not.  Brown rice is amazing.  But if I eat it at wrong times of the day, my body falls apart.

From an intake of information standpoint, people watch the news, sitcoms, reality TV (A.K.A – sitcoms!) and a handful of other things that serve them no purpose.  Controlling what our brains consume is very difficult. Also, our brain is not designed to make us happy.  It’s got one agenda: survival.

Robberies, fires, terrorist attacks, economy, Trump, internet trolls, nagging co-workers, angry individuals on public transportation – AVOID! If not, your brain is going to dissect the information and spend hours chewing on the fearful information, which will then bring more fear, which could lead to a heart attack.  I mean, pretty excessive, but it most certainly happens when people are driving to work in America every Monday morning.

Podcast

https://www.spreaker.com/user/thearseniobuckshow/darren-hardy-chapter-5-influences

The Rant of 2017

If you’re pointing fingers at the past, Donald Trump, Republicans, North Korea, Thai people (lol) or anyone else for that matter to why you’re not successful, you suck.  Well, I don’t want to say you suck, because you technically don’t, but if you post implicit comments targeting groups of minorities or majorities in terms of dropping their defenses….YOU REALLY SUCK.

I’ll give you the cold-hard truth.  We’re one day away from 2018 and with the exception of developing countries, the world has exceedingly evolved into something magnificent.  We’re living in one of the most opportunistic ages in human kind.  The device in your pocket can make you create vlogs, written, and audio forms of content.  If you’re living in an exotic country like Kazakhstan, Morocco, American Samoa, Tuvalu, Brunei, Luxembourg and you’re not documenting your life, you’re missing out.

If you’re reading my blogs from Bulgaria, Romania, France; and listening to my podcasts from Singapore, Japan, Indonesia and other places….why not take what I’m giving and put it into your language? I know audio hasn’t taken over in these countries such as what’s happening right now in America….but it will.  We’re going to be multi-tasking beings.  While brushing our teeth, we’re going to be listening to podcasts to help us with self-improvement and different areas of our life.  Video is slowly declining because no one wants to sit in front of a screen anymore when they can be doing 3 things at once.

What I’m telling you and imploring you to do is to (1), stop bitching.  Stop trying to slander your fellow samaritans.  Yes, I blew up a week ago at a convenient store because I won’t be made a mockery of, and the blowup was super funny because they went from laughing to mad as hell (hahahahaha)….but what I’m trying to say is if you go on Twitter, follow Donald Trump (and you hate him), talk about taxes and things you can’t control….2018 is in repeat form.  Form better habits and stop complaining!

This is the era of opportunity.  If you’re reading this, start making a difference.  Develop habits that suit you in your definite chief-aim and develop the burning desire to go after it with all your might! Not tomorrow….but today is the beginning.

Podcast

https://www.spreaker.com/user/thearseniobuckshow/the-2017-rant

Circle of Concern vs. Circle of Influence: Friendship Woes

It’s been a very turbulent year — people (what I would call friends in the past) coming and going.  Some of this could be unbearable for most, but I built up a fortified wall in front of my feelings, telling myself that all of these so-called “friends” are here to fulfill a purpose.  Remember what I said a long time ago: life-time, life-giving, and purposeful relationships.  People are categorized into these three areas.

Best Friends Turned Enemy

I don’t believe it was so much her getting a boyfriend, but me having a life-changing experience happen on the other end just 3 weeks after.  My life went from almost investing and staying in Thailand long-term, to almost booking a trip to Honduras or Costa Rica after a racially implicit event in my workplace and was expunged from teaching at a company.  Yes, if she was my best friend Andre, we would be able to talk it out, make amends, and just move on with our friendship.  With her there was possible miscommunication, but I also saw danger — danger that could’ve bloomed if I had gone to America.  So, I cancelled the trip, and three weeks later my job was on the line.  My hands were incredulously on my head and I was being criticized by an individual who shouldn’t be criticizing anyone, given the circumstances of him being in Thailand.

Almost one month later, new condo, five job opportunities, six projects and so many other things….now I understand WHY I didn’t go to America.

Purposeful Relationship Turned Chaos

I met someone by the name of Zern who I thought had the same energy as I.  I seriously thought that she was me in a completely different form.  However, after two weeks, a nose-dive happened.  The energy between us changed and then the complaints were ON 100% (barely anything coming from my kisser).  This lead to her going out with a friend to one of the most notorious areas in all of Asia where drunk, poor backpackers go to have sex.  That was THE END. 

The Student That Couldn’t Take It

The last episode comes from an individual who I catapulted into the University of Sydney.  After completion of her Masters Degree, she came back (just recently) to Thailand.  Because I’m going through a very pivotal stage in my life, I need her to help me with translations from English-to-Thai.  Granted, I helped her with grammatical structures the past 1.5 years.  She helped me, and then I asked her for a very important favor.  Before I continue, she is a doctor.  Now, let’s get back into this…..I needed assistance taking some luggage and boxes to my new condo.

CRICKETS

After that message, she was gone!

Moral of these stories…..you’re the only person who can be rescue 911.

Podcast

https://www.spreaker.com/user/thearseniobuckshow/circle-of-concern-vs-circle-of-influence

Ignore The Noise – The Arsenio Buck Show’s Motivational Tuesday

Trump; Kim Jong Un; Nuclear Weapons; Famine; Poverty; Politics; Conservatives vs. Liberals; Global Warming; Bickering – should I name more?

Better yet, what are any of the above topics going to help you with in achieving your goals?

What’s amazing about human beings, especially in America, is instead of doing a visualization exercise or meditation in the morning; they turn on the TV to engage in a pity party/war of words with what’s on there.  They go to work and talk about topics they have no control over. Why do people do this? Is it because we’re used to gossiping about things so much that it has become a daily ritual; formulating within the paradigm of the mind?

These things will always be there.  There will always be billions of people talking about their billions of problems with billions of other people….but your job is to stay away from it.

Stay tuned for my Circle of Concern vs. Circle of Influence blog and enjoy my 8 minute podcast down below!

https://www.spreaker.com/user/thearseniobuckshow/ignore-the-noise-the-arsenio-buck-shows-