Tag: problems

Fake It ‘Till You Make It?’ — NO!

Fake It ‘Till You Make It?’ — NO!

thearseniobuckshow

As I was sitting on my bed just yesterday evening, I covered my eyes in horror.  What I was hearing and seeing was something so new to me, but yet so frightening.  Millennials, those who are easily swayed into doing certain things, are being sucked into this horrific lifestyle.

Miami, a place where people believe the beaches and nightlife is everything, is actually a place of depression,  Here you have these young teenagers LYING about their life, posting it on Facebook, but in fact, it’s all fake.

This youngster, who went by an alias, apparently had “rented” cars from dealerships, and then he would rent them out to other guys who are/were visiting from outside to take photos.  After doing that, he would post all the pictures on Instagram, claiming that he owns them and that “this” is the type of lifestyle that young adults want: cars, sex, clubs, women, drugs.

This polarizing figure somewhat reflects what Tai Lopez has done.  He repackaged a book and sold it for obscene amounts online.  His target market? The middle east and India.  He displayed his array of super cars in his garage, had women walking around in hi-heels, but it was all show without any substance.  Tai Lopez has now come out with more YouTube videos as ads, again displaying a woman in a red dress walking into a Bugatti before walking away and trying to give the “weak-minded” some advice that would — sway them — into buying his course.

The amount of people who are falling prey to these controversial figures, especially those who showcase their materialistic things, is extremely high.

From Tai Lopez, to the middle school dropouts who saturate the streets at night in Miami; please, don’t fall victim to the trap.

Podcast

Interviewee #20 – Perry Power – The Art of Storytelling

Interviewee #20 – Perry Power – The Art of Storytelling

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With a history of sexual abuse and losing his father just over a year ago, Perry has managed to use these dark times and turn it into lightness in order to inspire others to do the same. Believing that our ‘mess is our message’, Perry walks us through how we each have a unique story and hidden power, which we need to find in order to become the best version of ourselves.

Get in touch with Perry Power of the UK

– About the art of storytelling.

 

Links:

 

Things we discussed:

  • Introduction by Perry Power.
  • How Perry started it all?
  • Sharing about Perry’s childhood.
  • Deciding to talk about sexual abuse.
  • Sharing about dark times in an individual’s life.
  • Talking about a man’s ego.
  • Sharing your grief.
  • Talking about struggles in life.
  • The power of being vulnerable.
  • Talking about anger.
  • Sharing about how to shift a mindset about being yourself.
  • Talked about his first FB video.
  • The power of sharing.
  • The power of storytelling.
  • How you tell your story.
  • How old were you when you first started personal development?
  • What did personal development teach you?
  • Hate and forgiveness.
  • Talking about your history of sexual abuse.
  • You need some chapters to your storytelling.
  • The defining moment in your life and in your storytelling.
  • Perfecting your storytelling.
  • You need a flow like a slide in your storytelling.
  • What do you want to accomplish and what are you building?

 

 

Thank you for listening!

 

Thank you so much for joining me for this podcast. Please do write down some feedbacks and comments. Please do share this podcast on your social media.

 

Links:

 

University of Hard Knocks

University of Hard Knocks

thearseniobuckshow

Back in 2008, I decided to team up with my best friend and moved into a gorgeous apartment on the edge of Las Vegas near the Air Force base.  My friend was fresh out of the Navy and I was doing work-study and a summer course back at the College of Southern Nevada.  In the first month or so, he was normally around for the most part.  I started to become increasingly involved in a long-distance relationship with a girl from Japan, and he stated that’s when I began to change.  It was hard to get any kind of responsibility out of him because he paid things late and never did chores around the house.  After two months, he was rarely home.  He would play beer-pong every night with a bunch of “loser;” and one night  in August changed our relationship forever.  Apparently some escorts were at a beer-pong outing one evening and he ended up being so intoxicated that he went back with them to their place.  His money, wallet, credit cards and everything was gone.  He couldn’t pay the monthly bill on his six-week fresh Ford Mustang and they came to repossess it the next day.  I saw him go from an amazing achievement, to an unbelievable disaster in the matter of weeks.

Welcome to the University of Hard Knocks.

Yes, both him and I got evicted and I ended up moving back home with my mother.  The friendship was in turmoil, then got completely destroyed during the month of September after an argument over lies.  S*** happens.

However, in saying all of that, I took 100% responsibility for everything that had happened.  People would point fingers and say, “well, Satomi, from Japan, visited and sent the relationship between you and Andre into a complete whirlwind.” No, Andre sent himself and only himself into a complete whirlwind after the “escort” disaster.  Satomi opened the door within my mind to travel abroad, as she was put in my life to do so.

I’m challenging all of you to do the same thing.  Take the loss.  Take the L.

Today is graduation day! From this day forward, choose to be 100 percent responsible for your life. Eliminate all of your excuses. Embrace the fact that you are freed by your choices, as long as you assume personal responsibility for them.
It’s time to make the choice to take control.

Your Secret Weapon Is Your Scorecard

Podcast

https://www.spreaker.com/user/thearseniobuckshow/the-university-of-hard-knocks-time-to-be

The Ramble: Traveling Next Year, Podcast, GaryVee, My Own Medicine, Q’s & A’s.

The Ramble: Traveling Next Year, Podcast, GaryVee, My Own Medicine, Q’s & A’s.

thearseniobuckshow

I decided to create a podcast on what’s happening in the life of Arsenio Buck in Bangkok, Thailand.  Here’s a rundown of today’s topics in short and what’s been happening since my “Wheel of Life” podcast.

Traveling

I pre-booked some spots in my schedule for next years traveling because, of course, I need to have traveling + Spartan competitions, and traveling just for the sake of seeing wonderful countries.

Kazakhstan/Kyrgyzstan are both an 80% go at this point, unless withdrawals happen because my lack of depositing into a developing relationship.  Honestly, some of you are probably thinking now, “omg! Those countries? Why?” Well, I’ve always wanted to travel to Central Asia because I believe like Georgia and Azerbaijan, its the best kept secret.  I’ve seen how open-minded just about everyone is there just being online and how friendly they are and willing to meet.  My heart is telling me to go there; and on top of that, I have a brilliant friend who’s urging me to visit.  So, expect a April landfall, podcasts, and crazy blogs + videos coming up during that time.

Cairo, Egypt….yes, yes, YES! I went on a day trip when I was in the Maldives to one of the islands in proximity to Hulhumale, and on that boat trip on over…I locked eyes with a specimen.  A gorgeous specimen, but she gave me an unresponsive stare.  However, when we got to the island, she unwittingly grabbed my empty glass and placed it on a plate that the concierge was collecting.  I said, “omg, thank you!” It was the sweetest gesture ever.  10 minutes later – her, myself, and her friend were chatting it up, under the sun, in the most gorgeous, turquoise waters ever.  She’s a soon-to-be dentist and he’s a soon-to-be engineer.  They said Egypt, especially Cairo, is AMAZING! And that I should visit.  They also told me that September was the perfect month to visit, too.  Therefore, September is when I will set air (not set sail) to Cairo!

With those two massive trips looming in the New Year, I still need to fit in America, and my short Spartan holidays (Malaysia, Singapore, Taiwan, Hong Kong and possibly Melbourne, Australia if my friend becomes a friend again between now and February).  It’s an action packed year approaching!

GaryVee Podcast

Boy! I listened for probably 30 minutes last night and about 30 minutes this morning.  The keys and things he said in the podcasts I listened to relate so much to my podcast in general.  For instance, there was a girl talking about, “I’m not thinking so much of the present right now because our business is losing money…I’m thinking more of the future.”  This struck me because just a few days ago I was pretty down on my podcast plays before I made a podcast + blog about not giving up.  Within 24 hours, I got the best back-to-back day in my podcast history in terms of plays with countries such as China, Mauritius, Hungary, Uganda and others coming on strong.  The thing is you’re going to encounter a lot of setbacks, but those setbacks are needed for the process called “growth.” Never forget that.

Two Days Ago & Dealing With Ignorance

Wednesday was a head scratching day.  It first started with going into a 7-11.  There was a man standing just a few steps back behind the counter.  I, unknowingly, stepped in.  After that, this same man took four giant steps back into the middle of the aisle, standing there with a blank look on his face.  What my historical self would’ve said would be something around the lines of, “oh, you’re acting like an asshole. I didn’t know you were in line.  Come up here? You don’t want to go?”  However, I invited him to come before me and he still had a blank look on his face.  I won’t fight with ignorance, so I decided to just pay and go.  I win, he loses.  Done.

However, later on that evening I had some students laugh and make fun of the Vegas massacre.  Ignorance like that cannot be tolerated, and it often happens here in Thailand, unfortunately.  The lack of sympathy, empathy, compassion and heart runs real deep within 90% of the beings here.  I erupted and some of the other teachers in nearby classrooms heard the commotion.  I said, “do you think that’s funny? 59 people dying is funny to you?” One shrugged her shoulders and I went on a rant, threw some paper at them and that will be the last time ever facing those individuals again.  Now, of course I’ve been reading so much on dealing with people, but that’s a whole different level of ignorance that can only be handled by fury.

Inhale……..exhale.  Everything is perfectly fine.  I feel that the situation last night had to occur for a reason.  My guess is something, or someone, is trying to emerge in that time-frame.  It took a comment from a few individuals for me to say, “find someone else to deal with your ignorance.”  These things happen, people.  Despite my reaction and them, words and pettiness comes and goes a dime a dozen with no value whatsoever.  State what you have to say, and when you say it…know the ramifications of what might happen.  Nevertheless, I’m grateful for having yet another opportunity to teach and speak in this country filled with opportunities.  See, you can change your state-of-mind pretty quick, if you want to.

 

Express Inn at Hulhumale, Maldives – The Lady That Changed My Life Forever!

Express Inn at Hulhumale, Maldives – The Lady That Changed My Life Forever!

thearseniobuckshow

Buckle up — because this is going to be a life-changing blog.

Man, oh man.  I’m still trying to figure out exactly what took place yesterday.  Here, if you guys don’t want to read, here’s the podcast….and I’ll write what happened, on top of some things you need to know if you travel to Male, Maldives.

Let’s just say that when I came here, I was unable to obtain any currency.  No Maldivian Rupiah is made available for anyone.  I tried selling my Thai baht at the airport and they simply said, “we don’t accept it.”

I replied, “guys, I have no other money. I tried using my US bank card at the ATM and it didn’t work!  He said, “I’m sorry.  That’s the only way you can get money.”

After following that, my bank got 3 suspicious transactions and restricted my card immediately, so I had to use an app to call back to America and explain the situation.  20 minute conversation lead to a wonderful assistant telling me, “listen, you have only two transactions left that you can use.  We will block your card and send you a new one.”

I said, “omg, could you stay on the line so I can buy an Air Asia ticket for tomorrow to head back home?”  She followed suit, along with me paying for my hotel and that was the end.  My what was suppose to be three day trip to the ultra-gorgeous island named Maldives was coming to a horrific stop in just 24 hours –  all because I couldn’t get Maldivian currency with my Thai Baht or USD.

After buying and sorting everything out, I sat seaside watching kids run around and play; jet skis flying at high-speeds in the distance, wonderful people swimming out to a platform 50 meters off the shore so they can run around on the platform.  Myself? Wound on my leg that was continuing to fester, developing into something much scarier, drowned in my sorrows while putting my hands atop my head thinking, “why me?”  All I wanted to do was come here and have an incredible holiday.

The Turning Point

A Bangladeshi gentleman who works at the front desk invited me for dinner…on him.  It was 7pm and I fell asleep because I wasn’t hungry.  I was in REM when I heard some door knocks and a man speaking outside.  I knew it was him, so I jumped out of bed, opened the door and he was heading downstairs saying, “don’t worry, food and everything is paid for.”

I said, “huh?”

He said, “we’re taking care of you. Come downstairs.”

I said, “man, I’m just going to get some sleep.”

He insisted, “come downstairs.”

And so I did.  I went outside and there was the woman who I first shook hands with at the airport.  The events that followed are events that I’ll be telling for the rest of my life.  Podcast down below.

One Year Ago & What Reshaped & Changed The Trajectory of My Life

thearseniobuckshow

I was having some Spicy Basil Chicken and vegetables before someone walked into my room and brought something up about my podcast.  I was aghast; like being bludgeoned to near death – just because I knew what was possibly going to happen.

He told me that I inferred/implicated people on my podcast who I was working with.  Implicating and inferring is completely different from name-dropping, but it was pretty comical going back to those podcasts (a year later) and cringing to everything I said.  Arsenio, you so bad.  (LOL)

I was so thrown off by the entire ordeal, so I cancelled class and went HAM…..I MEAN HAM on a podcast (I should post the podcast here, but it’s not necessary); expressing extreme discontent about the ‘snake’ who was nipping at the heels of my feet, trying to find any detail that can give him more work and get me fired.  Again, envy and jealous – two of the deadly horsemen that rides in the mind of humanity.

However, over the next two weeks, one shot himself in his own foot and relieved himself, shutting the door on a door that should’ve been shut a year before.  *forehead wiping*

Did this fix any of the relationships I had with the other teachers? Nope.  One-by-one, every relationship began failing.  The first one was because of a senseless berate of me being in a classroom that he should’ve been in….actually, make that two (teachers) of them.  So long!

Others ranged from “Arsenio is too loud and has too much fun in class,” to “Arsenio is inexperienced and gets too much work.”  You name it, you say it, I’ve heard it.

What I didn’t do was quit the podcast.  Going forward in my unfolding journey, I’ve learned how to persevere and not quit.  Sure, a bunch of foolish fools have seemingly stopped talking to me; hell, I haven’t talked with some people I walk by everyday for 2 years (LOL).

What culminated from a near firing was me inspiring thousands of people in more than 60 countries.  Can you imagine if I gave up then? Lives wouldn’t have been changed today.  Just because some people don’t accept what you say….doesn’t mean other will be standing around waiting and needing a dose of inspiration.

Podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/episode/12376064

Toxic Workplace Environments

Toxic Workplace Environments

thearseniobuckshow

We’ve all dealt with them before.  Those toxic colleagues who seemingly complain about every detail in their lives; and at the same time, you find yourself in the heart of it all, or do you?

We make a choice everyday to think the thoughts we think, to speak the way we do, and to be in the lives of other people – whether it’s good or bad.

My first job in Thailand wasn’t the prettiest.  In fact, it was the second worst job I’ve ever had in my life.  My health was in shambles, lost 5 kilograms, wasn’t happy, was battling the trials of tribulations that Thailand was throwing at me.  On top of that, I had an extremely evil boss that threatened by visa and work permit everyday.  One foreign teacher was depressed and the other one was a two-faced, under-the-cover racist.

What did I do?

I left.  I left without looking back.  Although I tried keeping in touch with the Irishman, I realized that it was a one-way street and that he lied about EVERYTHING (and I mean things like getting five females numbers in one day), so he was dropped like a bad habit.

The job following that was even more difficult because the groupthink that was happening.  Gen B workers absolutely hated me because they thought I was putting more effort into my private classes than I was teaching some of the worst students in the south of Thailand.  Even though that’s true (lol), they were pro-culture Thais…meaning they didn’t accept any new ideas.   By the end of my tenure, I ate in my classroom, never scanned my card when I left at the end of the day, and never talked to anyone in general.  Talk about leaving the most sour taste behind.

The last job I had in the public school system was horrendous.  One day I woke up and asked myself, “Am I happy? Absolutely not.  What are you going to do about it? Leave.  When? Thursday.”  Four days later – I left.  I literally got my last check in the evening and never went back to the school because I was always stressed and pissed off because the students would scream f*** you at me.

If you’re not happy with your working environments, tackle the problem head on. Don’t be in denial. I love doing the wheel of life because it keeps me grounded and level-headed on the categories of my life.

Podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/episode/12097912

 

 

Controlling Inner Feelings + Different Types of Negative Thoughts

Controlling Inner Feelings + Different Types of Negative Thoughts

thearseniobuckshow

One of my students asked me yesterday about how to destroy these destructive thoughts, and of course, it all comes down to habit.

Research has shown that people talk to themselves about 50,000 times a day.  Yes, this includes you – who are reading this.  Unfortunately, 80% of that comes from negative self-talk such as they don’t like me, I’m never going to finish this, they’re going to beat us, I can’t run this time, I can’t do the last push-up, I can’t finish on time, he’s going to fire me.

We know that these thoughts have the most powerful effect on us.  For instance, this happened to me yesterday evening whereas I literally switched vibrations for gratitude into something of malice.  It was dark, gloomy, and it felt like there was no way out.  I felt like a spec in the universe and then I had to hurry and ask myself, “whoa! What’s wrong? What am I feeling at the moment? What made me feel this way?”

These negative thoughts actually control our behavior.  It makes us stutter, spill things, forget our lines on stage, feel anxious, scared – and to the most extreme….can kill us, such as what depressive thoughts have done to the most famous people in the years.

If we can take another example from the lie-detector test….yes, the polygraph that was virtually on every 90’s American show, humiliating individuals if they had lied about the simplest things, to cheating.  How does this this machine detect a lie?

  • Heart rate
  • Blood pressure
  • Breathing rate
  • Muscle tension
  • Sweating hands

With these detections, it shows the physiological changes that occur when you’re lying.  Every cell in your body is affected by every thought you have.

Different Types of Negative Thoughts

Focusing on the negative.

People who simply always focus on the minute bad when there’s so much good.  Jack Canfield conducted a training session for high school teachers and most of the teachers just focused on the negative.  If 30 kids understood an answer but 4 didn’t, they would focus on the 4 who didn’t get it and would feel bad, rather than focusing on the other 30 who did get it and feel good.

Catastrophic Predicting

“I’m scared to fly because I think the plane is going to crash!”

Kind of like the stupidity of Murphy’s Law? Thinking of the worst possible scenario in your mind and then act as if it were a certainty?  This is happening to me currently because I’m scared to fly Malaysia Airlines from Bangkok to Kuala Lumpur because of what happened 3 years ago.

Mind-Reading?

Seriously, can you read minds? Are you a psychic? I’m not.  So, this kills me overtime because just by someone’s facial expression, I automatically assume that they’re a racist.  DOH! You know when you’re mind-reading when you’re thinking thoughts such as He’s mad at me, she doesn’t like me, he’s going to say no, he’s going to fire me.

Remember, unless you’re a psychic, you can’t read anyone else’s mind.  You don’t even know what they’re really thinking at less you check it out.

Guilt-Tripping

Should, must, ought to, or have to.  All modal verbs that create an internal resistant to actually doing it.  Don’t SHOULD yourself.

Transforming Your Inner Critic Into Your Inner Coach

Instead, let me teach you an extremely powerful exercise for retraining that inner critic to teach you to tell you the truth.

Let’s look at it this way, we always respond to situations in anger, right? But what about the steps leading afterwards? We often forget about that.  Let me show you some examples.

Imagine your child or someone who you care about who’s young…runs in the street and almost gets hit by a car.

Initial Reaction – Anger: I am mad at you for running in the street without looking to see if any cars were coming!

What about the fear? Requests? Love? Let’s go through this again.

Anger: I am mad at you for running in the street without looking to see if any cars were coming!

Fear: I am afraid you’ll get badly hurt or killed.

Requests: I want you to pay more attention when you are playing near the street.  Stop and look both ways before you walk or run out into the street.

Love: I love you so much.  I don’t know what I would do without you.  You are so precious to me.  I want you to be safe and healthy.  You deserve to have lots of fun and stay safe so you can continue to enjoy life to its fullest.  Do you understand?

That’s more like it.  What a different message!  You also need to train that inner critic to talk the same way.

Write down a list of things which you would talk to yourself out loud.  Just imagine their being a clone in front of you. Here are some things that a typical list might look like.

  • You don’t exercise enough.
  • You’re getting fatter.
  • You’re drinking too much.
  • You’re lazy.  Why don’t you finish the things you start?
  • You need to watch less television and go to bed earlier.

Write a list and after completing it, practice communicating the same information using the four-step process.

Podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/episode/11814036

 

 

Face What Isn’t Working

Face What Isn’t Working

thearseniobuckshow

There was a time last year where I had a wonderful friend who lied to me about her being from Thailand (she was in fact from Myanmar), and in that lie were promises of starting a wonderful, healthy-food catering business that would deliver clean food all around Bangkok.

In this plan, I wrote so many action steps down on a monster poster board and then I suddenly started seeing her slipping.  She was hiding something and I didn’t know what it was because she did a great job covering it up.  I started seeing signs from even Thai people who would speak English to her instead of Thai BECAUSE they thought she wasn’t Thai.  None of these things started clicking until one morning I received a phone call from her asking me for $6 dollars because she didn’t have money.

If you don’t have $6 dollars to your name, there’s a much bigger problem then not actually having $6 dollars.  By that time I scrapped the plane and in the ensuing weeks the big question came, “can I borrow a large sum of money to pay off old debt.”

BLOCKED.

I knew that there was too much problem and not enough action…but I didn’t face what wasn’t working in the beginning until I let it fester to the big question.

If you are going to become more successful, you have to get out of the denial like I was in, and I’m sure you’ve been in throughout your life in certain situations.

Do you defend or ignore how toxic your work environment is?  After reading this particular principle, I made a podcast (which I will still post down below for anyone who’s interested in listening) which a blackmailer went sniffing through some of my dirty laundry, found it, and began implicating and inferring that I was talking about specific individuals in my work place, although I was just stating facts about different age groups I’ve came across here in Thailand.

How about marriage? Do you make excuses for how bad it is?

Are you in denial about your lack of energy, your excess weight, your ill-health, or your level of physical fitness?  Are you failing to acknowledge how bad sales are at work? How bad one coworker is with finishing tasks on time?  The loud music that’s being played late at night that keeps you up 50% of your sleep time?

You have to begin facing these circumstances squarely, heed the warning signs, and take action, no matter how uncomfortable or challenging it might be.

Don’t Ignore The Yellow Signs

Your child comes home late from school again.  Strange notices start showing up in your mailbox.  You hear noises coming from across the hall and no one is there (ok, that might be a bit over the top, but it happens).  A friend, neighbor, classmate or anyone makes a very odd comment.  We just simply ignore them.

Why? Because to face what’s not working in your life usually means you’re going to have to do something uncomfortable.

Podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/episode/11785866