Another area that creates huge trust issues in personal relationships is money. As many marriage counselors affirm, money problems are a key cause of divorce. While many such problems are caused by lack of character (selfish or impulsive spending, attempts to control or restrict a partner’s access to shared resources, or efforts to hide spending from a partner), many are also caused by lack of competence (lack of education or experience in money management). In addition, two people coming into a relationship are often scripted in different ways by family experience — for example, one may come from a background of spenders, while the other comes from a background of thrift.
Here’s a story from Stephen Covey’s book
“For years, my husband and I had problems managing our money. We would agree to spend our money in a certain way, then he would come home with some new thing we hadn’t agreed on. It was very frustrating, and I eventually withdrew emotionally as a financial partner.
Over time, however, we both came to realize that this situation was negatively affecting the trust in our relationship, and we decided to change. He worked on being more responsible to act based on our agreements; I worked on expressing my opinions better and participating more fully in financial decisions. And together, we became involved in learning more about good financial habits, including budgeting and investing.
It’s taken quite a while to shift old habits, but through it all, we’ve become amazingly close and more unified in our financial values, goals, and habits. In fact, I’d say that now financial units is one of our strengths. Doing something together that was this challenging has created even strong bonds of trust in our entire relationship.
If I am through learning, I am through. – John Wooden
Vishen Lakhiani of Mindvalley said, “when people graduate from university, that’s their official graduation from learning. Who wants to stop learning?!”
That was perfectly put. People who have more information have a tremendous advantage over the others that don’t. I’m not saying to completely inundate yourself in material, I’m just saying simple behaviors such as reading for an hour a day, turning television time into learning time, attending classes, training programs, gym workouts, morning runs, mastermind groups, or anything to increase your knowledge will substantially increase your level of success.
Television time. Break that word down for a moment — tell-a-vision. Instead of having pity parties about deforestation, famine, global warming, Donald Trump and missiles, have a vision party. You know the average American watches television for 6 hours a day. 6 HOURS A DAY! Ummmm….that would be my family! By the time you’re 60 years old, you will have wasted 15 years of your life watching superficial TV that will in no way help you with you goals or dreams.
W. Clement Stone, who was one of the best mentors the planet has ever seen, explained one day that cutting out just 1 hour of television a day creates an extra 365 hours per year to accomplish whatever is most important to you.
What can you do with that extra hour? Learn a new language! Get superfit. Spend quality time with your wife and children, learn to play a new musical instrument, do more sales calls, or walk down the street smiling freakishly at people.
Leaders Are Readers
“The late Jim Rohn, one of America’s foremost motivation philosophers, suggested using that 1 extra hour a day to read. He taught me that if you were to read one book a week, in 10 years you’d have read 520 books, and in 20 years, more than 1,000 books – enough to easily put you in the top 1% of experts in your field. Add to those the books from masters in related areas you’d have an edge that others simply don’t have.” – Jack Canfield.
Start studying the lives of great people. The routines, which I’ve mentioned so many times, are critical in the morning. Adopting new systematic habits that will jumpstart your morning and make you have a productive morning. All of these are critical components. Attending success conferences and retreats like A-Fest, becoming a coachable individual, and being prepared when opportunity knocks are all part of the process.
What do you need to get ready?
If you’re an industry expert and believe your consulting business would skyrocket after presentation a workshop at a national convention, why not get prepared now?
If you want to become a Tedx speaker, start practicing your speech in the mirror so when you do get an email, you’re ready to go.
Do you need to learn a new foreign language to speak to other individuals? Could you develop advanced skills, more resources, or new contacts? Do you need to get your body in physical shape such as what I’m doing 365 days a year? Should you expand your business skills, sales skills, or negotiating skills?
Whatever you need to do to get ready, start now by making an list of the top ten things you could be doing to be great when the opportunity finds you.
“There may be some substitute for hard facts, but if there is, I have no idea what it can be.” – J. Paul Getty
Too many of us often way waste valuable time assuming what other people are thinking or doing. Rather than just asking them for clarification, they make assumptions – usually assuming against themselves – and then make decisions based on those assumptions.
Instead, how about just asking? Don’t waste time assuming or wondering.
We, as human beings, are just afraid of what we don’t know. We assume facts that may not exist, then build prejudices around those assumptions. they make bad decisions based on these assumptions, rumours, or on other peoples’ opinions.
For example, a lot of Thai people assume. Some of the nastiest assumptions I’ve ever heard comes from Thai people because often they say, “oh, black man….very big and drug dealer.” So according to your perception, everyone black man on planet Earth is a drug dealer because they’re big and look scary?
Imagine how much easier would it be for you conscious to just go up to an individual and say, “hello.” Once this individual smiles, you no longer have the perception of them being very big and scary. They’re now nice and warming up to you….possibly.
At work, we usually hesitate the most when it might be bad news.
We’re afraid of what the answer might be, right?
If I go home and my mom has a scowl look on her face, it’s easy to assume she’s mad at me; however, she isn’t. She actually made a mistake while cooking and added an ingredient not suitable for what she was cooking.
Checking out your assumptions frankly improves communication.
Here’s my podcast if you want to hear what I said about this particular principle.
Podcast – https://www.spreaker.com/episode/9367142
I was recently interviewed by favorite teacher AJ about what my daily diet is.
My life consists of 4 hours of traveling a day to and from school. Also, I have to leave home in the weeee hours of the morning, so I’m not able to prepare my meals. School lunches could be very unhealthy and to get food, I have to walk up seven flights of stairs, which is problematic because I’m a busy 15 year old. HA!
So, I had a discussion with my teacher about how to manage meals throughout the day, even though with traveling, being at a school that normally has unhealthy lunches, and slammed with homework.
I actually don’t eat breakfast. I leave my house around 6am every morning and I wake up around 4am. Now, I know what you’re thinking, I have two hours to prepare a breakfast! True, but I pack my bags and check everything the morning of. In addition, I don’t prepare anything the night before because I’m too tired.
AJ: The majority of students, people, and human beings find excuses for just about anything and everything to why something isn’t working. Now, for instance, there were days that I had to take a minivan to Bangkok before 6am. What did I do? I prepared my clothes, bag, and even my Herbalife (what I normally take for breakfast) the night before. When I wake up at 5am, I do ten minutes of meditation. Then, I take my vitamins, prime (boiling hot shower than a cold shower), before making my healthy meal shake (consists of honey organic almonds, vanilla + chocolate flavor healthy meal shake, almonds/walnut with some milk and ice). This is all being done while I’m putting on my clothes, looking at my to-do list, and putting together all my charged devices. By 5:30, sometimes I do a podcast, or other times I just clean up after myself. 5:45 rolls around and I’m ready to leave my condo. You see that? That didn’t always happen, either. I engaged in bad habits in the morning such as looking at my phone or reading something online that I shouldn’t be reading. Come up with a list of things and prepare EVERYTHING the night before. EVERYTHING! Clothes, books, everything! Because if I’m able to fit in meditation, priming, podcast, meal plans and everything in a 45 minute period, you can, too!
Lunch is very difficult, given the fact that my school has poor lunch options and I don’t have time to prepare my lunch, either. All I have to eat is sticky rice and chicken. We can’t leave school to buy lunch and I can’t buy anything on my way to school.
AJ: This could be a difficult situation. I, for one, had the same problem when attending a school. I always had a proper breakfast when I left my apartment at 6:15am, but by the time lunch came around, and with an atrocious variety of food, I was left with a motorcycle taxi ride to 7-11 – stuffing my face with processed food. There has to be a way to find something along the way. She talked about taking the subway and getting out at different locations. Also, I’ve been down the street where she has actually walked and I’m sure just one left or one right…..there’s food around there. Even if you have to go to 7-11….get some food. Thai lunches can consist of up to 2,000mg of sodium in one plate. Also, they’re made in bulk, which is terrifying because a lot of students have a tendency of getting food poisoning.
Dinner: I get home and I’m too tired to do anything. I only eat instant noodles because it’s the easiest way to eat my dinner. The time I take to do homework takes away from the time I have to prepare my dinner, too.
AJ: There’s NO EXCUSE to have a BAD DINNER at home. No excuse. Pack noodles are by far the worst thing you can ever eat because of the content it contains. It’s literally carbohydrates and salt that can top out at 1,500 mg of sodium. Come on, man! I’ve seen some of the biggest body building freaks make their meals for the entire week. With a mom, and a complete family at home, and with a little bit of money….you can get the job done on Sunday night. Plan each meal for the entire week. You can do this with your weekly planner that you’re making…..or for anyone who’s reading this and have listened to the podcast, learn to plan or plan to fail. Period.
Here’s a nice write up of what my teacher and I talked about during the podcast. If you have any questions or comments, please let me know! Don’t forget to like and share J
I wish you guys are having a very productive and healthy day!