Beware of These Three Traps: Neglect

Trap 3: Beware Neglect

It’s easy to neglect the important people and things in our lives when we get overcommitted or overreach. Perhaps that’s why this is one of the most important chapters in the book. Read it twice. Trust me. No one wants to wake up and realize they took their eye off what matters.

Performance Prompts

  1. An area where I am neglecting someone or something important in my life is . . .

Being true to my commitments, would be mine. But how about you? Someone you consistently put off who you love?

  1. An area where that neglect will cause me regret later on is . . .
  1. An area where I can return my focus, reallocating my attention to things that matter, is…
  2. Some areas in my life where I feel overcommitted right now are . . .
  3. The things I need to learn to say no to more often are . . .
  4. An opportunity I really want to chase right now that I could schedule to revisit in few
    months is . . .
  5. The main things moving the needle toward my success that I should be focused on right
    now, despite all the other exciting interests and opportunities I could chase, are . . .
  6. The way I’ll remind myself not to take on too much is . . .

Podcast

Increasing Performance Necessity Prompts

Welcome back! We have some ways of increasing your performance in the prompts down below!

  • Three things I want to become extraordinarily good at doing are…..

Speaking. This is already fantastic, but my goal is to have at least 3 speaking engagements a year. This is something I wanted to achieve at the beginning, but then obviously COVID happened and stopped many things from unfolding. However, my podcast has already prepared me for profound greatness, so I’m very excited about what’s going to happen next. Another thing is being a high-performance coach. That’s right, on top of business and personal development, I would like to be a coach, in this sector, but in the central and south Americas. Thus why I have to take up learning Spanish. And the last thing would being the best IELTS/TOEIC/TOEFL ITP/IBT coach in the world. I will ultimately be out the big brands (such as what’s happening already), and I really want to be that go-to person in this field. When people think “I need help,” I want my blog and podcast to be the first one in search engines.

  • My why” for becoming excellent in each of these areas are….

This is all part of my passion.

  • The people I will tell……

Mira and Deepth

  • Some ways I can remind myself these important “why” and goals are…..

Because this life is no longer about me, but more about who I’m serving. Of course to be the best server I will take care of myself in so many ways…and I will always serve me first. No more going after short-term economics. I need to take the quantum leap.

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Complaints from Consumers? Oh, Please!

So, over the past couple weeks, and if you guys don’t already know, I had been doing free consultations by reaching out to people on a Facebook page. Unbeknownst to me, I had received maybe 100 comments. Half of them weren’t series because I had messaged them, sent a voice note, but no response. Other people booked the calendar but never showed up….but about 30% of them did.

Now, the problem with takers are they are just there to consume. It’s not about receiving an ovation and external validation, but even when you help them and they achieve your score, they wouldn’t tell you that they achieved their score but rather give themselves all the credit for achieving the score without mention.

Again, not so much about external validation, but very disheartening.

This is what happens when you stick your head in places where people don’t know you, right?

So, there was an unruly one who had always booked consultations at 8pm at night. Me, being an early bird, closed my 8pm time-slots a number of times but he was still able to book it. So, here was the second-time-coming and without contacting him, I was already over the consultations. There was no ROI, other than recording some voices and posting them throughout the rest of the year. It’s not that I had expectations — but maybe I did, because I ended up being very disappointed with these people in the end. They would take from me, achieve the score, then post saying they did it on their own.

I had about 2 consultations left, and to be honest, I was just going to cancel them and not show up because I already knew the story. The last consultation I have (although there’s one more from a girl in Nigeria but Africans have a tendency of NEVER SHOWING UP)….I said “fuck it. Who cares.” But when you have a brand and an online persona, it’s very important to cancel.

I had my Whatsapp number on my FB page and got a direct message from my phone, again, from the angry taker, and so there really isn’t much left to be said. But what did I learn from this? Obviously to cancel all remaining appointments with takers. But two, protect the brand. Regardless of my personal feelings, I need to hurry up, cancel, and let him be angry. The scary part about it is perhaps he would tag my page in the group stating “he didn’t give me a free consultation”…..and then in that community, what happens then? I have to be very careful about how I go about things because it could be a disaster.

And what did I learn from the entire process of just giving, giving, giving with no ROI? Don’t stick your head into groups on Facebook that have people without money. I was able to attract people just by sharing my content. If people are interested and serious, my content would speak for itself and they would inquire about services that way. If they’re not serious and are there for taking, just say “offering free……”. All the takers will come flooding in wanting the free.

What did I learn, stop reaching out to the “people with no money” market and help people who are deserving of your services, are super fans, and appreciate all that you’ve done. It’s not about the external validation, but it is infuriating to see people ignore the fact that you helped them for an hour, only to post on their Facebook page the achievements and completely ignore you.

Establishing Peer Groups That Push You – High-Performance Habit

Has more meaning when they’re in a peer group – When you’re around people who will up-level you, this ultimately gives your life a sense of meaning. The self-discovery has a tendency of coming into your life and you start questions the good and the bad. After engaging with people in a peer group that’s full of harmony and goal-setting, you feel the energy and feel more empowered to do more. This is why having peers around you that will RAISE the energy is important.

Podcast

Transformation Tuesday – My Mother Abandoned Me — Now What?

A very tough outing with Mira, but also a life-transforming one. Because I feel my mother is somewhat similar to my father, I feel like she has abandoned me, too. My father dropped me off at the doorstep of a house in 1999 and saw it for the last time in 2001. My mother, who hadn’t supported me since 2012, has been AWOL since 2013. Sure, a couple of bullshit Facebook-post likes can tell a huge lie about how supportive she really is. So Mira took me through the segment and I now have figured it all out. But now what?

Stephen Covey’s 8th Habit | Season 6 – Episode 14 | Find Your Voice

“EVERYONE CHOOSES ONE of two roads in life—the old and the young, the rich and the poor, men and women alike. One is the broad, well-traveled road to mediocrity, the other the road to greatness and meaning. The range of possibilities that exists within each of these two destinations is as wide as the diversity of gifts and personalities in the human family. But the contrast between the two destinations is as the night is to the day.”

Excerpt From: Stephen R. Covey. “The 8th Habit.”

Diagram explanation in podcast.

“The path to mediocrity straitjackets human potential. The path to greatness unleashes and realizes human potential. The path to mediocrity is the quick-fix, short-cut approach to life. The path to greatness is a process of sequential growth from the inside out. Travelers on the lower path to mediocrity live out the cultural “software” of ego, indulgence, scarcity, comparison, competitiveness and victimism. Travelers on the upper path to greatness rise above negative cultural influences and choose to become the creative force of their lives. One word expresses the pathway to greatness. Voice. Those on this path find their voice and inspire others to find theirs. The rest never do.”

Excerpt From: Stephen R. Covey. “The 8th Habit.”

STEPHEN COVEY’S 8TH HABIT | SEASON 6 – EPISODE 8 | THE DOWNWARD SPIRAL OF CODEPENDENCY

“What happens when you manage people like things? They stop believing that leadership can become a choice. Most people think of leadership as a position and therefore don’t see themselves as leaders. Making personal leadership (influence) a choice is like having the freedom to play the piano. It is a freedom that has to be earned—only then can leadership become a choice.”

Excerpt From: Stephen R. Covey. “The 8th Habit.”

Wow! Is that one of the best quotes ever? Most people believe they can’t be leaders because they believe they’re just things. The don’t believe leadership is a choice. See, everyone has the ability to become leaders, but when they do, they often abuse the privilege of being one or they’re just lousy because they believe it’s pure position.

“Even if they perceive a need, they don’t take the initiative to act. They wait to be told what to do by the person with the formal title, and then they respond as directed. Consequently, they blame the formal leader when things go wrong and give him or her the credit when things go well. And they are thanked for their “cooperation and support.”

Excerpt From: Stephen R. Covey. “The 8th Habit.”

And this is the predominant Asian culture. This is from the eastern seaboard, to central Asia, to southern Asia and back down to southeast Asia. Too many people wait to be told what to do. Let me give you an example. COVID. When the governments said wear masks in Asia, although most already wear masks, they hopped to it pretty quickly because it was an order. If they were more of the rebellion like western countries, they would’ve been top 5 on the COVID list.

“The more a manager controls, the more he/she evokes behaviors that necessitate greater control or managing. The codependent culture that develops is eventually institutionalized to the point that no one takes responsibility. Over time, both leaders and followers confirm their roles in an unconscious pact. They disempower themselves by believing that others must change before their own circumstances can improve. The same cycle reappears in families between parents and children.”

Excerpt From: Stephen R. Covey. “The 8th Habit.”

Stephen Covey’s 8th Habit | Season 6 – Episode 1 | New Series!

Absolutely STOKED about this book series! If you guys have been following my personal development podcast for a while, you would’ve seen that I dissect a lot of these books. I got scared after Robert Kiyosaki’s Rich Dad because I wasn’t prepared with the next book. But with patience and just sitting back, I found the 8th habit and downloaded it directly to my iBooks (first time doing this since Gary Vee’s Crushing it back in 2018). So, here it is! The content model, the podcast, and prepare yourself for the intro!

  • Chapter 1 – The Pain
  • Chapter 2 – The Problem
  • Chapter 3 – The Solution
  • Chapter 4 – Discover Your Voice
  • Chapter 5 – Express Your Voice
  • Chapter 6 – Inspiring Others to Find their Voice
  • Chapter 7 – The Voice of Influence
  • Chapter 8 – The Voice of Trustworthiness
  • Chapter 9 – The Voice and Speed of Trust
  • Chapter 10 – Blending Voices
  • Chapter 11 – One Voice
  • Chapter 12 – The Voice and Discipline of Execution
  • Chapter 13 – The Empowering Voice
  • Chapter 14 – The 8th Habit and the Sweet Spot
  • Chapter 15 – Using Your Voices Wisely

Podcast

Topic: Doing What’s Needed….For Now

I came across a situation (cleared up since then) when I was utterly confused at the reaction of someone. My “boss,” who I speak to maybe once a year, wanted to me notified via agent/me when the renewal of my visa was coming. He said, “you should’ve notified me before you paid.”

So then I quickly jumped to my own defence and said, “wait, so if I had asked you before, would you have accepted my renewal?”

That’s simply overthinking — which it turned out to be. But that’s only my situation. Some of you are in similar situations where people want to have that sort of power over you, and because we’re living in rapidly changing times, our pride says “tell them to fuck off,” but it’s essential to think things through while beating on your craft (side hustle) at the same time. Tune into the podcast down below!

Three Questions to Think About Often & Keeps You Focused

Some things you need to keep in your mind that will help you maintain focus. The most important question is: “what is something in your life that death isn’t going to kill?” I’m speaking from a legacy standpoint. What is something that is and forever will be after you leave the body and domain? This is called impact….and if you strive for impact while you’re alive, you won’t count the minutes, hours, days, weeks, months….you will live in the NOW and embrace all things that come to you.

1) If the truth was written on your tombstone, what would it say?

  • Lived, but never felt alive?
  • Didn’t go for his/her dreams?
  • This person died empty because he lived an empty life!

2) If your life ended today, what regrets would you have?

                                   List all your regrets!

3) What is something about your life that death isn’t going to kill?

  • What’s going to live on when you move on?
  • What about you is never going to die?

Honorable Quotes

“Don’t disrespect your life by wasting your life.”

“You are in control of how you live your life between now and death.”

Podcast