The End of The Most Purposeful Relationship EVER!

This is going to be a long story, so brace yourself.

At the beginning of the lockdown, a friendship was born. Having already met this transformation coach last year through a mutual friend, she took me on a journey of renewal by doing a transformation program, life coaching, and healing sessions. 

This changed everything about who I am in the best possible way, and most importantly, it gave my inner child a voice again. 

This voice allowed me to have those tough/difficult conversations. 

When July had rolled around, I sensed the egoism coming from this individual because now she was doing work for a famous monk by the name of Jay Shetty. Working in his company, she began to cancel appointments, use condescending tones while speaking to me and about others, and really had a “I don’t give a f*** attitude.” 

There were a number of times I just wanted to get away from this individual, but of course Instagram is the main culprit in laying things to rest. 

I have a lot of people who follow/unfollow me, and after checking who unfollowed me this morning, it was her!

Sometimes we clutch onto things that should no longer be. Sometimes we’re scared of these moments actually happening because we don’t value our own dignity and self-worth. You know the purpose had been fulfilled with that particular someone coming into your life to take you to the next level, but you want to keep pursuing a friendship. The problem is, when egoism comes into play, you can either confront it, or just let things be. 

I labeled this my “purposeful” relationship because after everything had been handled in early August, the energy had shifted and took a turn. There was no more empathy and rather ambiguous exchanges. 

Gratitude, is what’s pouring from my heart because I’m grateful to have had such a purposeful relationship that opened the doors for me to bet on me. You should do the same. Stop pursuing things that have ended months/years ago and be an observer to what’s trying to emerge! 

Podcast

Wheel of Life | Year in Review | Physical Environment

We’re kicking off the Wheel of Life blogs with Physical Environment! For those of you who have been listening to my podcast, thank you so much! Plays are becoming more consistent. Nonetheless, we’re reviewing the entire year this year, starting from Physical Environment and giving you a crazy amount of content towards Christmas in regards to career and personal development. In saying that, let’s look at the keys to my Physical Environment this year.

  • COVID Crisis and a four-month shutdown
  • Working from home
  • Quitting 3 workplaces because of them destroying my value system
  • Living in a place for money but absolutely hated everything from the workplace, environment, home, etc.

But now that we’re here towards the end of the year, I can honestly say that everything has changed. Because my awareness and putting me first, out of all things (and not putting money first), I’ve been able to take back my joy and I’m absolutely thrilled in all areas of my physical environment.

So, there were bumps and bruises throughout the year. Working for asshole companies that never put me first and subjugated me to racial discrimination, and terminating a 4-years-too-long relationship with a bunch of cunts who disrespected my integrity and lied to me for years.

However, now? I know whatever takes away my unhappiness, I will leave that environment. It’s not worth it. Having disagreements is all part of it, no problem. But if I’m dealing with people who persistently disrespects me, such as getting new students who complain about me, then I will drop those bitches like a bad habit.

Podcast

Wheel of Life | November 2020 Edition | The Self-Renewal Journey = Achieved!

A day before Thanksgiving, I can honestly say that I’m more level-headed than I’ve ever been in my life. In harmony. In oneness. In a space that I’ve never been before with complete contentment and acceptance. This has been the wildest year of my life, and I honestly believe that now I’m vibrationally ready for when everything returns back to normal.

In this podcast, you will rate yourself on a scale 1-10, 1 being negligient and 10 being completely fulfilled — in the following categories.

  • Personal development
  • physical environment
  • health
  • wealth
  • career
  • family and friends
  • fun and hobbies
  • romantic relationships

Podcast

Beware of These Three Traps: Neglect

Trap 3: Beware Neglect

It’s easy to neglect the important people and things in our lives when we get overcommitted or overreach. Perhaps that’s why this is one of the most important chapters in the book. Read it twice. Trust me. No one wants to wake up and realize they took their eye off what matters.

Performance Prompts

  1. An area where I am neglecting someone or something important in my life is . . .

Being true to my commitments, would be mine. But how about you? Someone you consistently put off who you love?

  1. An area where that neglect will cause me regret later on is . . .
  1. An area where I can return my focus, reallocating my attention to things that matter, is…
  2. Some areas in my life where I feel overcommitted right now are . . .
  3. The things I need to learn to say no to more often are . . .
  4. An opportunity I really want to chase right now that I could schedule to revisit in few
    months is . . .
  5. The main things moving the needle toward my success that I should be focused on right
    now, despite all the other exciting interests and opportunities I could chase, are . . .
  6. The way I’ll remind myself not to take on too much is . . .

Podcast

Beware of These Three Traps: Dissatisfaction

Trap 2: Beware Dissatisfaction
Do not listen to those who say, “Never be satisfied.” Satisfaction is something you should feel as you strive, not one day when all is perfect. Being satisfied, then, doesn’t mean “settling.” It simply means accepting and taking pleasure in what is. It’s allowing yourself to feel contentment whether or not a thing is complete or “perfect.” You have to reach yourself to feel fulfilled and enjoy the journey now.

These prompts will help.

  • The areas of my life I’ve felt consistently dissatisfied with include . . .

Think about personal development, health, wealth, career, fun & hobbies, family and friends, etc.

  • Some good things that have also happened in those areas include . . .

Look at the good side of these areas and ask yourself what has been learned. Again, if you’re dealing with year-long dissatisfaction on the job, it’s because it’s no longer providing meaning to you.

  • Something I can say to myself the next time I feel dissatisfied, to get me to notice the good things and continue moving forward, is . .

  • Someone who probably sees me dissatisfied more than I want them to is . . .

  • If I were going to inspire that person to believe you can enjoy life as you work hard and
    succeed, I would have to change these behaviors . . .

Podcast

Building Up Your Social Group Performance Prompts

Phew! This is going to be a great one for you guys! How to build up your social groups!

I must first make a correction that it’s impossible to have just all positive, upbeat individuals around you 24/7 because if that was the case, you’d be somewhere on an island with coconuts. You’re bound to have arguments, and with that comes growth. There’s no avoiding the real growth in life….but if you have someone that constantly nags and complains but never wants to do anything to better themselves, you need to start adding winners. Here are some things to consider, performance prompts, and my podcast discussing them.

  • Add one more awesome friend
  • Seek mentorship
  • Earn it. Earn your way into that party with elite people.
  • Engage in sports
  • Take up volunteering

Prompts

  • The most positive people in my life who I should hangout with more often include….
  • To add to the number of high performers in my network, I should…
  • THe positive routines that I can bring together other high performers into a group include…

Podcast

Increasing Performance Necessity Prompts

Welcome back! We have some ways of increasing your performance in the prompts down below!

  • Three things I want to become extraordinarily good at doing are…..

Speaking. This is already fantastic, but my goal is to have at least 3 speaking engagements a year. This is something I wanted to achieve at the beginning, but then obviously COVID happened and stopped many things from unfolding. However, my podcast has already prepared me for profound greatness, so I’m very excited about what’s going to happen next. Another thing is being a high-performance coach. That’s right, on top of business and personal development, I would like to be a coach, in this sector, but in the central and south Americas. Thus why I have to take up learning Spanish. And the last thing would being the best IELTS/TOEIC/TOEFL ITP/IBT coach in the world. I will ultimately be out the big brands (such as what’s happening already), and I really want to be that go-to person in this field. When people think “I need help,” I want my blog and podcast to be the first one in search engines.

  • My why” for becoming excellent in each of these areas are….

This is all part of my passion.

  • The people I will tell……

Mira and Deepth

  • Some ways I can remind myself these important “why” and goals are…..

Because this life is no longer about me, but more about who I’m serving. Of course to be the best server I will take care of myself in so many ways…and I will always serve me first. No more going after short-term economics. I need to take the quantum leap.

Podcast

Values High-Performance Prompts

Here are some prompts for you to follow throughout your day or reflect on….

  1. The values that are important for me to live are….Ex: freedom, integrity, intelligence, connection.
  1. A situation which I didn’t live my values was…living upcountry and for the past four years, having worked with women who under appreciated me and cheated me on a constant basis. 
  1. The reason I didn’t feel it necessary to live my values was…I felt fear. Fear that if I had quit, I wouldn’t have gotten extra income on the side. 
  1. A recent situation where I felt proud for living my values was…. last month I finally quit that job and told them to **** off. 
  1. The reason I felt it was necessary to be that particular person was…I realized that they had been stopping on my integrity for years and enough was enough. I also realized they were making up 80% of my unhappiness and that work brought ZERO MEANING into my life. 
  1. The topics I find myself obsessed with are…..podcasting, personal development, speaking engagements, bettering myself. 
  1. A topic I’ve found myself obsessing with in a not-so healthy way is….dumb news: election, COVID, racism. 

What small steps can I do to control the amount of negative news? MEDIA FAST!

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New Mental Triggers

Bend thoughts and lead to positive states of mind.

What triggers will remind you to steer you towards positive social interactions.

  • Notification trigger — alarm “bring the joy”
  • Door frame trigger — every time you walk through a door frame, find the good, enter the room a happy person and be ready to serve.
  • Waiting trigger — waiting in line — what level of presence do I have right now on a scale 1-10? Check in on your emotional state
  • 5 or below? YOU’RE LUCKY TO BE ALIVE! Raise your energy!
  • Touch trigger — Hugging and touching is vital to well-being and happiness.
  • Positive trigger — WHAT A GIFT! Become consciously aware of the positivity that comes into your life.
  • Stress trigger — stop manufacturing stress, whenever things feel like they’re getting out of hand, 10 deep breaths, what’s the positive thing you can focus on right now and the next action you can take at that moment — evening journaling — three things that make you felt great during the day, close your eyes, and relive them in reflection.

Here are some great techniques I use as mental triggers.  Bring the Joy is what I use in the morning, thus why I always workout in the morning because that’s a significant portion of joy and growth for me. 

Walking into a room and finding the good is another. How can I serve these people? An example of this would be going to work…there are always 1-2 people sitting at the front desk and I come in, all smiles, saying the same thing that makes them laugh every morning — for two straight years. 

Waiting trigger is critical because I get overwhelmed sitting in traffic, being on a stuck train (happens all too often here in Thailand), and even waiting in line and watching the reception work extra slow. I check in with my level of presence.  If it’s below 5, I always say “YOU’RE LUCKY TO BE ALIVE!

Touch brings happiness, joy, and well-being to people’s lives. Living in Asia is difficult because they have a “no-touch policy”….however, in South America and Central America, it’s all hugs and air-kisses, and because the touch trigger is so important for me, these countries will be excellent suitors….or obviously if you can’t live in these countries, having people around that have the “hugs” policy is crucial, rather than those who always want to steer clear of that because of cultural norms. 

Positive: WHAT A GIFT! If any message comes in, inquiry, comment, EVEN A SMILE downstairs for me…I always smile and say “WHAT A GIFT!” I also replay the event in my head at the end of the day and feel that same wonderful energy I did at the time. 

Stress! Oh, happens all too often, but to stop manufacturing stress, breathing exercises are important and acting on the stress.  I have a fundamental question: “what’s making me feel stressed right now?” I ask a further 3 rounded questions and the stress then dissipates.  I stop stress within a minute because I have a tendency of twisting it around to understand the nature of it. 

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Complaints from Consumers? Oh, Please!

So, over the past couple weeks, and if you guys don’t already know, I had been doing free consultations by reaching out to people on a Facebook page. Unbeknownst to me, I had received maybe 100 comments. Half of them weren’t series because I had messaged them, sent a voice note, but no response. Other people booked the calendar but never showed up….but about 30% of them did.

Now, the problem with takers are they are just there to consume. It’s not about receiving an ovation and external validation, but even when you help them and they achieve your score, they wouldn’t tell you that they achieved their score but rather give themselves all the credit for achieving the score without mention.

Again, not so much about external validation, but very disheartening.

This is what happens when you stick your head in places where people don’t know you, right?

So, there was an unruly one who had always booked consultations at 8pm at night. Me, being an early bird, closed my 8pm time-slots a number of times but he was still able to book it. So, here was the second-time-coming and without contacting him, I was already over the consultations. There was no ROI, other than recording some voices and posting them throughout the rest of the year. It’s not that I had expectations — but maybe I did, because I ended up being very disappointed with these people in the end. They would take from me, achieve the score, then post saying they did it on their own.

I had about 2 consultations left, and to be honest, I was just going to cancel them and not show up because I already knew the story. The last consultation I have (although there’s one more from a girl in Nigeria but Africans have a tendency of NEVER SHOWING UP)….I said “fuck it. Who cares.” But when you have a brand and an online persona, it’s very important to cancel.

I had my Whatsapp number on my FB page and got a direct message from my phone, again, from the angry taker, and so there really isn’t much left to be said. But what did I learn from this? Obviously to cancel all remaining appointments with takers. But two, protect the brand. Regardless of my personal feelings, I need to hurry up, cancel, and let him be angry. The scary part about it is perhaps he would tag my page in the group stating “he didn’t give me a free consultation”…..and then in that community, what happens then? I have to be very careful about how I go about things because it could be a disaster.

And what did I learn from the entire process of just giving, giving, giving with no ROI? Don’t stick your head into groups on Facebook that have people without money. I was able to attract people just by sharing my content. If people are interested and serious, my content would speak for itself and they would inquire about services that way. If they’re not serious and are there for taking, just say “offering free……”. All the takers will come flooding in wanting the free.

What did I learn, stop reaching out to the “people with no money” market and help people who are deserving of your services, are super fans, and appreciate all that you’ve done. It’s not about the external validation, but it is infuriating to see people ignore the fact that you helped them for an hour, only to post on their Facebook page the achievements and completely ignore you.