Building Up Your Social Group Performance Prompts

Phew! This is going to be a great one for you guys! How to build up your social groups!

I must first make a correction that it’s impossible to have just all positive, upbeat individuals around you 24/7 because if that was the case, you’d be somewhere on an island with coconuts. You’re bound to have arguments, and with that comes growth. There’s no avoiding the real growth in life….but if you have someone that constantly nags and complains but never wants to do anything to better themselves, you need to start adding winners. Here are some things to consider, performance prompts, and my podcast discussing them.

  • Add one more awesome friend
  • Seek mentorship
  • Earn it. Earn your way into that party with elite people.
  • Engage in sports
  • Take up volunteering

Prompts

  • The most positive people in my life who I should hangout with more often include….
  • To add to the number of high performers in my network, I should…
  • THe positive routines that I can bring together other high performers into a group include…

Podcast

Increasing Performance Necessity Prompts

Welcome back! We have some ways of increasing your performance in the prompts down below!

  • Three things I want to become extraordinarily good at doing are…..

Speaking. This is already fantastic, but my goal is to have at least 3 speaking engagements a year. This is something I wanted to achieve at the beginning, but then obviously COVID happened and stopped many things from unfolding. However, my podcast has already prepared me for profound greatness, so I’m very excited about what’s going to happen next. Another thing is being a high-performance coach. That’s right, on top of business and personal development, I would like to be a coach, in this sector, but in the central and south Americas. Thus why I have to take up learning Spanish. And the last thing would being the best IELTS/TOEIC/TOEFL ITP/IBT coach in the world. I will ultimately be out the big brands (such as what’s happening already), and I really want to be that go-to person in this field. When people think “I need help,” I want my blog and podcast to be the first one in search engines.

  • My why” for becoming excellent in each of these areas are….

This is all part of my passion.

  • The people I will tell……

Mira and Deepth

  • Some ways I can remind myself these important “why” and goals are…..

Because this life is no longer about me, but more about who I’m serving. Of course to be the best server I will take care of myself in so many ways…and I will always serve me first. No more going after short-term economics. I need to take the quantum leap.

Podcast

Values High-Performance Prompts

Here are some prompts for you to follow throughout your day or reflect on….

  1. The values that are important for me to live are….Ex: freedom, integrity, intelligence, connection.
  1. A situation which I didn’t live my values was…living upcountry and for the past four years, having worked with women who under appreciated me and cheated me on a constant basis. 
  1. The reason I didn’t feel it necessary to live my values was…I felt fear. Fear that if I had quit, I wouldn’t have gotten extra income on the side. 
  1. A recent situation where I felt proud for living my values was…. last month I finally quit that job and told them to **** off. 
  1. The reason I felt it was necessary to be that particular person was…I realized that they had been stopping on my integrity for years and enough was enough. I also realized they were making up 80% of my unhappiness and that work brought ZERO MEANING into my life. 
  1. The topics I find myself obsessed with are…..podcasting, personal development, speaking engagements, bettering myself. 
  1. A topic I’ve found myself obsessing with in a not-so healthy way is….dumb news: election, COVID, racism. 

What small steps can I do to control the amount of negative news? MEDIA FAST!

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New Mental Triggers

Bend thoughts and lead to positive states of mind.

What triggers will remind you to steer you towards positive social interactions.

  • Notification trigger — alarm “bring the joy”
  • Door frame trigger — every time you walk through a door frame, find the good, enter the room a happy person and be ready to serve.
  • Waiting trigger — waiting in line — what level of presence do I have right now on a scale 1-10? Check in on your emotional state
  • 5 or below? YOU’RE LUCKY TO BE ALIVE! Raise your energy!
  • Touch trigger — Hugging and touching is vital to well-being and happiness.
  • Positive trigger — WHAT A GIFT! Become consciously aware of the positivity that comes into your life.
  • Stress trigger — stop manufacturing stress, whenever things feel like they’re getting out of hand, 10 deep breaths, what’s the positive thing you can focus on right now and the next action you can take at that moment — evening journaling — three things that make you felt great during the day, close your eyes, and relive them in reflection.

Here are some great techniques I use as mental triggers.  Bring the Joy is what I use in the morning, thus why I always workout in the morning because that’s a significant portion of joy and growth for me. 

Walking into a room and finding the good is another. How can I serve these people? An example of this would be going to work…there are always 1-2 people sitting at the front desk and I come in, all smiles, saying the same thing that makes them laugh every morning — for two straight years. 

Waiting trigger is critical because I get overwhelmed sitting in traffic, being on a stuck train (happens all too often here in Thailand), and even waiting in line and watching the reception work extra slow. I check in with my level of presence.  If it’s below 5, I always say “YOU’RE LUCKY TO BE ALIVE!

Touch brings happiness, joy, and well-being to people’s lives. Living in Asia is difficult because they have a “no-touch policy”….however, in South America and Central America, it’s all hugs and air-kisses, and because the touch trigger is so important for me, these countries will be excellent suitors….or obviously if you can’t live in these countries, having people around that have the “hugs” policy is crucial, rather than those who always want to steer clear of that because of cultural norms. 

Positive: WHAT A GIFT! If any message comes in, inquiry, comment, EVEN A SMILE downstairs for me…I always smile and say “WHAT A GIFT!” I also replay the event in my head at the end of the day and feel that same wonderful energy I did at the time. 

Stress! Oh, happens all too often, but to stop manufacturing stress, breathing exercises are important and acting on the stress.  I have a fundamental question: “what’s making me feel stressed right now?” I ask a further 3 rounded questions and the stress then dissipates.  I stop stress within a minute because I have a tendency of twisting it around to understand the nature of it. 

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Complaints from Consumers? Oh, Please!

So, over the past couple weeks, and if you guys don’t already know, I had been doing free consultations by reaching out to people on a Facebook page. Unbeknownst to me, I had received maybe 100 comments. Half of them weren’t series because I had messaged them, sent a voice note, but no response. Other people booked the calendar but never showed up….but about 30% of them did.

Now, the problem with takers are they are just there to consume. It’s not about receiving an ovation and external validation, but even when you help them and they achieve your score, they wouldn’t tell you that they achieved their score but rather give themselves all the credit for achieving the score without mention.

Again, not so much about external validation, but very disheartening.

This is what happens when you stick your head in places where people don’t know you, right?

So, there was an unruly one who had always booked consultations at 8pm at night. Me, being an early bird, closed my 8pm time-slots a number of times but he was still able to book it. So, here was the second-time-coming and without contacting him, I was already over the consultations. There was no ROI, other than recording some voices and posting them throughout the rest of the year. It’s not that I had expectations — but maybe I did, because I ended up being very disappointed with these people in the end. They would take from me, achieve the score, then post saying they did it on their own.

I had about 2 consultations left, and to be honest, I was just going to cancel them and not show up because I already knew the story. The last consultation I have (although there’s one more from a girl in Nigeria but Africans have a tendency of NEVER SHOWING UP)….I said “fuck it. Who cares.” But when you have a brand and an online persona, it’s very important to cancel.

I had my Whatsapp number on my FB page and got a direct message from my phone, again, from the angry taker, and so there really isn’t much left to be said. But what did I learn from this? Obviously to cancel all remaining appointments with takers. But two, protect the brand. Regardless of my personal feelings, I need to hurry up, cancel, and let him be angry. The scary part about it is perhaps he would tag my page in the group stating “he didn’t give me a free consultation”…..and then in that community, what happens then? I have to be very careful about how I go about things because it could be a disaster.

And what did I learn from the entire process of just giving, giving, giving with no ROI? Don’t stick your head into groups on Facebook that have people without money. I was able to attract people just by sharing my content. If people are interested and serious, my content would speak for itself and they would inquire about services that way. If they’re not serious and are there for taking, just say “offering free……”. All the takers will come flooding in wanting the free.

What did I learn, stop reaching out to the “people with no money” market and help people who are deserving of your services, are super fans, and appreciate all that you’ve done. It’s not about the external validation, but it is infuriating to see people ignore the fact that you helped them for an hour, only to post on their Facebook page the achievements and completely ignore you.

Establishing Peer Groups That Push You – High-Performance Habit

Has more meaning when they’re in a peer group – When you’re around people who will up-level you, this ultimately gives your life a sense of meaning. The self-discovery has a tendency of coming into your life and you start questions the good and the bad. After engaging with people in a peer group that’s full of harmony and goal-setting, you feel the energy and feel more empowered to do more. This is why having peers around you that will RAISE the energy is important.

Podcast

Self-Love Friday | Episode IV | Arsenio Comes First

Wow! This is a BIG self-love Friday. I’m very excited about this one because Mira, life/transformation coach in South Africa, navigated me to establishing this.

There have been so many times that I would curl up and just be a “yes” man. I would hangout with people who I knew I had NO BUSINESS hanging out with. I would invite people over to my place who I didn’t really want to come over. Someone I know would alway say, “I want to see you.”….but now it’s time for Arsenio to give Arsenio the 100% care he deservedly deserves before anyone else comes.

So, in saying that, let’s get into this huge self-love assessment so you can finally starting putting yourself first.

Stephen Covey’s 8th Habit | Season 6 – Episode 15 | The Soul’s Search for Meaning

“Deep within each one of us there is an inner longing to live a life of greatness and contribution—to really matter, to really make a difference. We may doubt ourselves and our ability to do so, but I want you to know of my deep conviction that you can live such a life. You have the potential within you. We all do. It is the birthright of the human family.”

Excerpt From: Stephen R. Covey. “The 8th Habit.”

We have the intuitive nudge. I mean, this was 2009. There were a sequence of events that happened in my life that implicated about 3-5 different people talking about travels to Vietnam, Hong Kong, etc. Of course this came at a massive downturn in the American economy (great financial crisis), but it was a period when I had that nudge. That nudge that said “Arsenio, there’s more to life. More to greatness. More to your ability. More to everything.”

That’s when I took a flight to Australia, and four years later, I completely broke away from my family (in regards to relationships) to go after what was mine in the universe.

“All of us can consciously decide to leave behind a life of mediocrity and to live a life of greatness—at home, at work and in the community. No matter what our circumstances may be, such a decision can be made by every one of us—whether that greatness is manifest by choosing to have a magnificent spirit in facing an incurable disease, by simply making a difference in the life of a child, giving that child a sense of worth and potential, by becoming a change-catalyst inside an organization, or by becoming an initiator of a great cause in society. We all have the power to decide to live a great life, or even simpler, to have not only a good day but a great day. No matter how long we’ve walked life’s pathway to mediocrity, we can always choose to switch paths. Always. It’s never too late. We can find our voice.”

Excerpt From: Stephen R. Covey. “The 8th Habit.” Apple Books.

ONCE YOU MAKE the choice to follow this “road less traveled,” the pathway to finding your own voice is to:

1. Discover Your Voice by coming to understand your true nature—what I call three magnificent birth-gifts (chapter 4) and by developing and using with integrity the intelligence tied to each of the four parts of your nature.
2. Express Your Voice by cultivating the highest manifestations of these human intelligences—vision, discipline, passion and conscience (chapter 5).

Transformation Tuesday – My Mother Abandoned Me — Now What?

A very tough outing with Mira, but also a life-transforming one. Because I feel my mother is somewhat similar to my father, I feel like she has abandoned me, too. My father dropped me off at the doorstep of a house in 1999 and saw it for the last time in 2001. My mother, who hadn’t supported me since 2012, has been AWOL since 2013. Sure, a couple of bullshit Facebook-post likes can tell a huge lie about how supportive she really is. So Mira took me through the segment and I now have figured it all out. But now what?

Stephen Covey’s 8th Habit | Season 6 – Episode 14 | Find Your Voice

“EVERYONE CHOOSES ONE of two roads in life—the old and the young, the rich and the poor, men and women alike. One is the broad, well-traveled road to mediocrity, the other the road to greatness and meaning. The range of possibilities that exists within each of these two destinations is as wide as the diversity of gifts and personalities in the human family. But the contrast between the two destinations is as the night is to the day.”

Excerpt From: Stephen R. Covey. “The 8th Habit.”

Diagram explanation in podcast.

“The path to mediocrity straitjackets human potential. The path to greatness unleashes and realizes human potential. The path to mediocrity is the quick-fix, short-cut approach to life. The path to greatness is a process of sequential growth from the inside out. Travelers on the lower path to mediocrity live out the cultural “software” of ego, indulgence, scarcity, comparison, competitiveness and victimism. Travelers on the upper path to greatness rise above negative cultural influences and choose to become the creative force of their lives. One word expresses the pathway to greatness. Voice. Those on this path find their voice and inspire others to find theirs. The rest never do.”

Excerpt From: Stephen R. Covey. “The 8th Habit.”