Arsenio’s ESL Podcast: Season 4 – Episode 7 – Life Skills – Social Skills – Representational Systems

I’m injecting a bit of personal development into this lesson! Boy, what I learned over the weekend at a seminar was unbelievably amazing. I learned so much about how human beings communicate, and since then, I’ve applied it to my life and it has worked miracles! Here are the systems.

I’m injecting a bit of personal development into this lesson! Boy, what I learned over the weekend at a seminar was unbelievably amazing. I learned so much about how human beings communicate, and since then, I’ve applied it to my life and it has worked miracles! Here are the systems.

Here are the systems….

Visual (V)

People who are visual often stand or sit with their heads and/or bodies erect, with their eyes up. They will be breathing from the top of their lungs. They often sit forward in their chair and tend to be organised, neat, well – groomed and orderly. They are often thin and wiry. They memorise by seeing pictures and are less distracted by noise. They often have trouble remembering verbal instructions because their minds tend to wander. A visual person will be interested in how something LOOKS. Appearance are important to them.

Auditory (A)

People who are auditory will often move their eyes sideways. They breathe from the middle of their chest. They typically talk to themselves and can be easily distracted by noise (some even move their lips when they talk to themselves). They can repeat things back to you easily, they learn by listening and usually like music and talking on the phone. They memorise by steps, procedures and sequences (sequentially). The auditory person likes to be TOLD how they’re doing and responds to a certain tone of voice or set of words. They will be interested in what you have to say.

Kinesthetic (K)

People who are kinesthetic (K) will typically be breathing from the bottom of their lungs, so you’ll see their stomach go in and out when they breathe. They often move and talk very slowly. They respond to physical rewards and touching. They also stand closer to people than a visual person. They memorise by doing or walking through something. They will be interested in something if it “feels right or if you can give them something they can grasp.

Auditory Digital (AD)

This person will spend a fair amount of time talking to themselves. They will want to know if something “makes sense”. The auditory digital person can exhibit characteristics of the other major representational system.

Now, let’s read the text and see if using these systems can help?

How to get your point across

 
Imagine this situation. You’re at your very first job interview. The interviewer asks you to talk about yourself. You look down, you don’t know where to start and you can’t think what to say. There’s an awkward silence and you start to panic. Now imagine another situation. A friend makes a comment that upsets you. In the first instance you say nothing. But then you feel yourself getting angry and you explode and tell them what you really think!
 
Sounds familiar? Well, you;re not alone. We all have difficulty in expressing ourselves sometimes – we struggle to find the right words or our emotions get in the way. Yet effective communication is perhaps the most important life skills, particularly at work. Employers are often looking to hire people with strong interpersonal skills; they want people who will work well in a team and be able to communicate effectively with colleagues, customers and clients. And interpersonal skills are not just important in the workplace. Our personal and social lives can also benefit. People will good interpersonal skills are usually perceived as optimistic, calm and confident – qualities that are often appealing to others.
 
If we are more aware of how we interact with others, and remember to practise, we can all improve our ability to communicate. Here are our top four tips.
 
Tip 1 Think it through It’s often difficult to come up with the right words on the spur of the moment, so give some thought to what you want say. For instance, before an interview, think of answers to possible questions or say them out loud. Even better, try rehearsing with a friend. If you have to give an opinion, pause to organise your thoughts before you start to speak.
 
Tip 2 Be assertive Being assertive means expressing your ideas in a way that doesn’t offend others. At the same time, it means speaking your mind without being afraid of what people might think. If you feel yourself getting angry or upset, take a deep breath and calm yourself. if necessary, take a short break from the conversation and come back to it when your head is clearer.
 
Tip 3 Remember to listen Too often we’re so busy trying to get across our opinions that we forget to listen to what others have to say. Communications is a two – way process, which means trying to see the other person’s point of view. Ask questions to help you understand or summaries what they’ve just said. If you show you’re prepared to listen to others, they’re much more likely to listen to you.
 
Tip 4 Watch your body language A lot of communication is non – verbal – more than 50% in fact. If someone has their arms folded, they probably feel defensive or aggressive. Facial expressions can tell us what a person is thinking, too. It’s important to interpret these signals, and to be aware of your own body language. Sit calmly, keep eye contact – and remember to smile while you speak.

Gateway B2+

TAB Foundation Interviewee #1: Brian A. Street on Impact & Purpose!

What an extraordinary podcast this was. The energy that was bouncing off the walls in this one made me want to run 100 miles at the conclusion. Brian, an amazing PhD student and philanthropist, is looking to leave such a profound legacy that will make everyone go “omg! WOW!” This is a fiery one, so make sure you tune into the podcast down below, along with his links!

Get in touch with Brian A. Street

Links:

Things we discussed:

  • Definition for gratitude and how to cultivate a positive mindset.
  • About ups and downs and transitioning in his new life, academic research and his new business in social entrepreneurship, mentorship, speaking and coaching.
  • The beginning of social entrepreneurship.
  • How he’s made an impact in people’s lives and how he bring changes to children’s lives.
  • Visualizing your life.
  • Reevaluating your life and the secret of the mind power.
  • Power of mindsets.
  • What the ultimate purpose is.
  • What is the purpose of The Arsenio Buck Foundation? What are the social impact the foundation can bring?
  • Work in your passion and money will follow.
  • How you can network and make contacts.
  • Pursuit of Africa.

https://www.spreaker.com/user/thearseniobuckshow/tab-foundation-interviewee-1-brian-a-str

Thank you for listening!

Links:

  1. Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/thearseniobuckshow/
  2. Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thearseniobuckshow/?hl=en
  3. YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCIzp4EdbJVMhhSnq_0u4ntA
  4. Podcasts: https://www.spreaker.com/user/thearseniobuckshow, https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/the-arsenio-buck-show/id1181794790?mt=2, https://open.spotify.com/show/0x39CEN5tHvfRtfZaAMTgQ?si=8cpdu1rTTjKHogufXh91Cw
  5. Website: https://thearseniobuckshow.com/
  6. Twitter: https://twitter.com/arseniobuckshow?lang=en

Podcast

Lisa Nichols – Cultural, Economic, Gender, Geographical, Spiritual Blueprints

“To begin the process of eliminating any negative money beliefs, let’s go back through the five areas that influenced you in the first place: cultural, economic, gender, geographic, and spiritual. Take out a piece of paper and begin thinking back. What was happening in your household around money during childhood? How did your parents react to financial stressors? What did they do with their money? How did they spend it? How did they talk to you about money? Were you granted your requests for money or was there “never enough” for your needs? Were they “responsible” or “irresponsible” with their money?
And when you started earning an allowance or generating a small income from odd jobs, babysitting, or a paper route, what did you do with your money? Were your parents in agreement with your money decisions—or did they disagree with your actions?
Jot down your remembrances about money growing up—grouping your memories into the preceding five categories. Your list might look like this:”

Cultural Blueprint

  • The majority of the households in my neighborhood were on government assistance.
  • The parents were always at work, which meant the children were always engaged in activities outside their parents control.
  • The majority of my neighborhood were African Americans with the exception of a few Mexican families.
  • The two nearby complexes became saturated with gang violence.

 

Economic Blueprint

  • My father and mother both had jobs, yet the money was relatively scarce from 1995-1997.
  • The most notorious story of my life is when both my brother and I had to wear “water shoes” to school because we didn’t have enough money to buy regular shoes.
  • I would be the first one in line in 1999 (last year living with my father), at school in the morning to eat breakfast and the first one at lunch – this being because food was  a rare commodity in my household.
  • In the beginning stages of 2000, my mom would get clothes that were 5 sizes bigger than us from the homeless shelter she worked at so we wouldn’t be too cold during the winter.

 

Gender Blueprint

The only blueprint was that my sisters needed their own room because they were girls.  What Lisa Nichols wrote in her book “Abundance Now” was this…

  • My grandmother lived with us once Grandpa Joe passed on. She and my mom ran the household.•  I was very good at creating relationships with other girls, my teachers, and my neighbors.•  When I was a teenager, lots of employers offered jobs that were ideal for girls.•  My brothers teased me for getting A’s in math and science. Girls aren’t smart, they said.•  No woman in my family ever went to college. Some never graduated from high school but got married instead.”

Geographical Blueprint

  • I lived in a neighborhood where I heard gunshots at least once a week coming from “over the hill,” also named the “Westside.”
  • The bloods and crypts were around, but my siblings never got into that mess because we were more of the studious types throughout grade school.
  • My friends, in the 6th grade, would repeatedly cuss, skip class, and get bad grades.
  • My school had only Mexicans (50% were gangsters) and African Americans (60% gangsters)…..the women were already having sex at the ages of 11-13.

Middle school wasn’t difficult, though.  I’ll have to emphasize that because I had someone who left an imprint in my life my 8th grade year (story in my podcast).

Spiritual 

  • My family wasn’t very spiritual, but my mother did force us to go to church from time-to-time.  I used to pray to god every night up until about 2006-2007.

Other blueprints can be….

Our church actively helped the poor in our neighborhood with food and clothing.
•  My minister urged parishioners to tithe a portion of their paychecks every week.
•  Once, when a neighbor was too ill to work, our church members paid his rent for three months.
•  Once, when I mentioned I wanted to own a hair salon one day, my Sunday school teacher said girls should become mothers, not business owners.”

Next, circle or highlight on your list the one or two circumstances that have been the biggest driving force in your current relationship to money. Which have largely influenced your current actions and thinking around money?

In my household, for instance, small amounts received from our grandparents for birthdays or Christmas were spent as quickly as possible. As soon as we got the money, it was shopping time—and we didn’t stop until the money was all gone. I bought chili cheese dogs at the local car wash, bubble gum, candy, costume jewelry, sandals—anything fun.

I’d even treat my friends to fast food, buying them all lunch. Broke was level set. We were like lottery winners who not only spend all the money, but who are heavily in debt within a few years of receiving their winnings. I followed that pattern.
Later, I had to work hard to overcome this powerful driver. – Lisa Nichols

Podcast

Do This – & Criticism Can’t Hurt You

“I discovered years ago that although I couldn’t keep people from criticising me unjustly, I could do something infinitely more important: I could determine whether I would let the unjust condemnation disturb me.  Let’s be clear about this: I am not advocating ignoring all criticism.  Far from it.  I am talking about ignoring only unjust criticism.”

Doing the thing society tells you not to do is a quick way to overcome the jitters.  The jitters that society uses against you in auto-suggestion form.

Close your eyes for one second.  For those of you who live in Japan, China, Korea, and other countries around the world – visualize being on a train.  What do you see? Who do you see? Are they all doing the same thing? 9 times out of 10 – they are.  They’re standing a specific way in fear that someone may be looking at them, video recording them, or even taking a picture of them.  People are terrified of being criticized by others so they conform to doing the same thing other people do.

Back in the south of Thailand, Thai teachers would say, “why do you go running? You’re a teacher. You shouldn’t be seen in public.  Why are you singing? Why are you happy? You’re a teacher! You can’t do that!”

So, I approved of the outlandish “Thai Culture” suggestion, indicating that I need to have a specific character to fit the description of an abysmal teacher.

I broke away from those chains over the last two years.  For instance, on a typical day I go running, I wear a headband (as I do on the bus when I head to the gym), and depending on if people are looking at me in a particular way, I sing/rap to whatever I’m listening to.  Why?  Because I’m literally telling the world that I don’t give a GOD DAMN about them.

Onlookers look at me in awe, shaking their heads – sometimes in disgust because they’ve never seen a runner sweat the way I do.  That’s fine.  They can think whatever the hell they want to think because at the end of the day I always ask myself: are they paying my bills? Are they investors? Do they even respect me? No.  So you don’t even exist to me.

What Makes 2 Kids From The Same Neighborhood Different

After a very interesting conversation with some of my students, we talked about the best and worst secondary (high schools in America) schools in Thailand.  I wanted to deep dive into the idea of what made them so different.  Was it the environment? The parents? What are the influences?

How come I’m different? Being born and raised in Las Vegas in a neighborhood I heard gunshots ringing every night and gang activity being at its highest around 2001.  My home being robbed twice; myself being robbed broad daylight in 2003 included.  However, I was able to still not be part of all that nonsense.

African Americans who live in the impoverished neighbourhoods around America just cannot escape the idea that they CAN LEAVE.  But what stops them?

Back in sixth grade, my school had a fair amount of whites, blacks, and Mexicans.  When 2007 came around, the numbers of the white community started dwindling and the Mexican gangsters started coming in herds.  By the time 8th grade arrived, some of my friends got held back (didn’t pass to 9th grade), and the school was rampant with gang activity.

Going into high school had to be the difference maker in my life, just because when I was in marching band, I got exposed to different cultures on the outer skirts of Las Vegas.  Caucasian and Asian kids living in gorgeous houses and had something called “ambition” compared to the zoned students who were fighting to stay alive another day.

Can I give all the credit to my mom? My mom did a wonderful job at providing, but when it came to guidance, I had to trust my intuition because that was the job of my father, who ran off years prior.  I literally had to learn what was right from wrong, and being introduced to a vast array of new cultures and identities, students wearing medical scrubs or aviation khakis steered me in the ‘I can be much bigger than I am’ direction.

What’s different from an African American/Mexican/Caucasian living in a wealthy neighborhood versus another family who lives in a lower-class neighborhood? What makes a high-society wannabe in Bangkok different from the slum dogs just 10km westward from their location in Khlong Toei?  What has to happen in the mind for someone to accept their life as it is and there’s no way they can change it?

This comes back to my family.  Meeting a female name Satomi Nakagawa of Kyoto, Japan who visited me in 2008 before I visited in 2009 was the difference maker.  She planted an idea within my mind saying “there’s much more to life than to being in one place.”  To this day, I haven’t heard the voices of any of my family members for over four years because I chose to get rid of the poverty consciousness (as Henry Ford did) and do something bigger.

The psych behind decision making is so hard to understand.

Podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/episode/11735293

Lisa Nichols: Abundance Now Book – Conclusion

For those of you who have followed me on this wondrous journey (podcast listeners and people on the blog) that features a lot of what Lisa Nichols had said in her Abundance Now book are probably wondering what’s next.

What is the most immediate thing you can do to start living abundantly, building your future, and establishing your legacy? Take action!

It’s time to decide what you want, create a plan to pursue it, then move forward—regardless of your fear, your lack of experience or knowledge, your lack of resources, or anything else.

Those things you’re afraid to do, do them afraid! You will learn along the way.  Remember, the CEO of Spartan Race was going through hell at one point in his life and saw that there was an ultra-marathon and several other “batshit crazy” events approaching in his local area – he signed up. IMMEDIATELY.  What did that do? Disrupted the bodies biochemistry.

Begin by getting crystal clear about what you want in the 12 areas of your life (or the eight categories of life that I’ve talked about in Glenn Harold’s book). Determine the relationships you want, the career or work you want to do, the physical rewards you want to enjoy—all the hallmarks of your abundant life.

Remember the Four E’s I’ve talked to you about.

Enrichment – of your whole Self, not only will you be able to better pursue that abundance, but you’ll enjoy it a lot more as you move into exciting new activities, directions, and opportunities.

Enchantment in your Relationships—the feeling of delight and magic you get from the people who surround you, support you, and encourage you.  Shake off the effects of the toxic people in your space; the energy drainers; and reach out for people who make you stand on your tippy-toes. I want you to become intentional about the quality of your relationships—not just the current ones, but the new ones you want to form. I want you to become deliberate about the caliber of people you spend time with, learning how to seek out those people who inspire you to do better, create more, play bigger, and win more often.

Having people in your life who feel your social circle but do more taking than giving, get rid of them.  If you flock with the losers, you’ll end up a loser.

“Engagement you get from your Work, your business, or your career. I’m convinced that you have a calling in your life, a life assignment that commands your time, talent, and treasures. It’s up to you to recognize whether you’re in that calling now—or whether you need to shift into it, using your current “job” as an investor in your exciting and breathtaking future. There is so much opportunity out there to thrive—but at all times, strive to make it work for you. Strive to achieve harmony (but not balance) between the time you spend on your work and the time you dedicate to family, hobbies, and rest and renewal.” – Lisa Nichols

The legacy, which I’ve talked about, is important.  Stop calling your job A JOB and look at it from an investment standpoint.  Just like sleeping, we spend another 6-10 hours a day (depending on your career field) on your “job”…..so start investing and figuring out what new skills you need to acquire to get to the next level.

Endowment – Eliminating those old-money mantras.  The negative beliefs that was programmed within our minds at a young age whether it was economical, geographical, social, etc….it’s time to create new beliefs about money.  There’s a money affirmation on YouTube that Bob Proctor made in courtesy to Mind Valley which is basically him repeating an affirmation over and over for 30 minutes.  Stop putting money in the same sentence with scarcity.

For anyone who has questions about any of the podcasts or want to leave a comment about the Lisa Nichols segment, you’re more than welcome to do so.

Until then, stay tuned for the next book!

Podcast – https://www.spreaker.com/episode/11445331